27. Mila
27
MILA
After a frustrating afternoon spent trying to find a weakness in the Tiernan’s’ property and failing, I went back inside where Rachel had lunch prepared for me.
She shot me a gentle smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. For some reason, I wondered if she pitied me, but that couldn’t be the case. If she truly pitied me and pitied my situation, she would have helped me, not remained loyal to the brothers.
I quickly scarfed down the turkey sandwich, politely thanked her, and walked back to my room.
I might have the freedom to walk around the house, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing it for long.
I always returned to my room.
I needed to be careful.
If I found too much comfort in my gilded cage, I might not want to fly away anymore.
And that was a dangerous path to go down.
But I realized my defenses had been down.
They were down further with the brothers than they ever had been with my dad, and that made no sense to me. The brothers were definitely the bigger monsters compared to my dad.
I should have been scared of them— terrified .
But I wasn’t, and that made me scared for a completely different reason.
I sighed and sat on the windowsill, staring out at the huge property before me.
It was worlds away from the scenery I grew up watching at the clubhouse.
A more beautiful kind of hell.
The sky darkened, and the garden lit up with a warm, golden outdoor light, making the place look even more ethereal.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, but my butt started to fall asleep when the doorknob turned.
I tensed, half expecting it to be Silas, and I wasn’t sure if my defense was strong enough to go against him right now, but to my surprise, it wasn’t Silas but Killian.
I startled and stood, not wanting to be sitting down when I faced him.
My cheeks flamed as our last interaction came to my mind.
Killian didn’t seem to be feeling anything as he stared at me, though there was a sort of tension in his shoulders.
I shifted my weight from foot to foot as the silence stretched between us.
I wished he would speak.
“Is there something you want?” I asked, losing the game by speaking first.
He crossed his arms over his massive chest.
If he was trying to intimidate me… well, it was fucking working.
I mirrored his action, trying to appear blasé, but the way his eyes scanned me from head to toe, I wasn’t sure if I pulled it off.
He took a step closer to me. I nervously swallowed, trying to get rid of the feeling that there was something lodged in my throat.
His eyes honed on that.
Like his brothers, he was damn perceptive.
“Say something,” I blurted out, unable to take the silence anymore.
He didn’t heed my command.
He took another step.
And another, and another, until he was standing directly in front of me. I tilted my head back until I was looking up at him.
Without saying a word, he reached down and lifted me up in his arms.
My heart rate sped up, but I managed not to make a sound. I instinctively wrapped my hands around his neck as he walked out of the room.
I wondered if he was taking me to his room.
I had only been in Silas’ room that one time and had been unnerved the entire time. What would it be like to be in Killian’s room? I didn’t want to think about it.
But Killian turned for the stairs instead of heading in the direction of his room. His eyes were focused ahead, and I couldn’t help but feel anxious.
He must have picked up on it because he suddenly said, “There’s no reason to be nervous. It’ll be over before you know it.”
“Over?” I whispered. “What will be over before I know it?”
He walked us into what I assumed was an office. Whose office, I didn’t know. I thought it might be Maverick’s, but we were alone.
“Killian.”
He set me on my feet and sat down on a weird horizontal leather chair set out in the middle. It didn’t look like it belonged here.
Killian touched my cheek and turned my face toward his dark-brown eyes. I swallowed nervously.
“Killian?”
If I hadn’t witnessed what Silas had done to the other man, what Silas was clearly capable of, I would have longed for his presence over his brother’s.
He leaned down slowly, and I should have turned away, but the way my heart was fluttering heavily inside my chest, and all the blood that was rushing to my ears made it hard to think rationally. When Killian pressed his soft lips against mine, I didn’t think there was a chance for me to get that rationality back, no matter what.
His tongue came out, and he licked over the seam of my lips. I felt the sensation all the way down to my clit, and I moaned without thinking.
Killian pulled my bottom lip in between his teeth, making me gasp, and his tongue entered.
Fuck.
What was he doing to me?
I wrapped my arms around his neck without thinking, pulling myself closer to him and eliminating all the tiny little spaces that separated his body from my own.
I wanted to get closer.
He placed both hands on my hips and started the back-and-forth motion, rubbing my clit over him.
I gasped into his mouth.
“Fuck,” he whispered, and I was sure I wasn’t supposed to hear that.
He moved me harder against him, and I leaned forward.
I was supposed to be looking away to escape them, not let them get under my skin more and more each day.
I didn’t have the strength to fight, I realized, as tears burned my eyes.
“Killian,” I said again. I wasn’t religious in any way, but right now, this moment felt almost… sacred.
He peeled my hands from his neck, and I let him. The way I was feeling, I would have let him do anything to me, which was how I found myself cuffed to the chair all of a sudden, and by the time my senses came back to me, it was too late.
I looked down at my wrists with horror before I met Killian’s indifferent eyes.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my voice soft. I was afraid to speak any louder. Afraid I might lose it.
God, but I was so fucking stupid.
“Don’t be scared,” he said tonelessly.
I chuckled nervously. “Right. This isn’t funny. Let me go.”
He shook his head and stood from the chair, taking his warmth with him.
I shuddered.
For the briefest moment, I thought I saw a hint of regret on his face, but not enough to stop him from doing whatever the hell he was about to do.
I pulled on my hands, the cuffs clanging against the metal bars on the chair.
“Please,” I begged, a note of desperation entering my voice. “Fuck. Please.”
He ignored me and went to the huge desk that held a metal tray covered by a square of black fabric.
He swiped the fabric away, and I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t help it. My eyes took in the six items on the tray. A scalpel, a needle with some sort of clear liquid in it, a medical sewing kit—the needles curved like the ones on a medical TV drama—scissors that were obviously to clasp the needle to stitch the person’s skin, disinfectants and finally, a small black plate with a tiny object resting on the center of it. Upon closer inspection, the object was a little glass tube, slightly bigger than a grain of rice, with some electronic device inside.
Fear took hold.
What the hell was he planning on doing to me?
He frowned. “This would have been easier on you had I drugged you first, but I didn’t want to do this without you knowing about it.”
I laughed, the sound off even to my ears. There was nothing humorous about my situation.
“Is this your messed-up interpretation of consent? Because I don’t fucking consent to whatever the hell you think you’re going to do to me.”
He brought the tray closer to us, but set it on the small side table he carried over as well. My heart picked up speed when the scalpel gleamed in the light.
Fuck, but how was I supposed to get out of this?
He sat down beside me, and I flinched.
Petting my hair, he didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “You’ve been busy.”
My eyes narrowed at him.
“You’re trying to escape.”
My heart sped up. I wanted to deny it, but judging from his eyes, there was no point. He knew. Was this my punishment for trying to escape the three savages of Chicago?
Was that such a huge sin in their book?
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked, a tremor in my voice.
His hand moved down from my head down to my back, his fingers tracing the knobs of my spine.
I took a harsh breath, especially when his hand stopped somewhere in the middle of my back.
“Tracking you,” he answered, nothing in his voice betraying how he felt. We might as well have been talking about the weather.
“Tracking me?”
What the hell did that mean?
My eyes widened when I realized there was only one thing that could mean.
“Like a fucking dog?” I snarled, yanking on the handcuffs once more. Tears pricked my eyes but didn’t fall. Small fucking blessings. “You can’t do that to me!”
His eyes told me otherwise.
He could, and he would.
Fuck.
“Don’t do this,” I said when he turned me over, until I was half-sitting, half-lying on my stomach. I didn’t bother fighting because it wouldn’t have fucking mattered.
How many more times did they need to make me feel helpless before they broke me completely?
I was afraid of what the answer might be.
He pulled out a knife that was hidden inside his boot. I flinched when he sliced the knife through the fabric of my shirt from behind, tearing it completely.
He pushed it away and cut the sleeves at both arm holes so he could pull the shirt away from me, leaving me in nothing but a bra.
Goose bumps rose across my skin from the cold and being exposed. I looked back at him, wondering what he was thinking, but his mask was firmly in place.
I shook my head when he grabbed the needle, his fingers moving down my back and stopping somewhere near my spine.
Tears spilled from my eyes, and I closed them as he pierced the needle into my flesh. I flinched at the sting, and he used the other hand and rubbed comfortingly on my lower back as if that would fucking help.
“I’m just numbing the area,” he muttered, then jabbed me in a different place.
I hissed in pain.
“I know this hurts, but this will be easier on you when I cut you open to insert the tracker.”
“Fuck you,” I gritted out. I would have moved, would have fought back if I didn’t think moving might have made it even more painful for me.
His hands continued to rub my lower back in circles.
I closed my eyes as we waited for the numbing agent to take effect.
He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was watching me.
I didn’t want to watch him. Didn’t want to be reminded of the fact that I had willingly kissed him a few minutes ago.
After what felt like an eternity, Killian grabbed the scalpel from the tray.
I cried harder. “Please,” I begged.
He frowned. “Is it the pain you’re worried about? Don’t worry. I’ll be quick about it.”
I shook my head, at a loss for words. How the hell could I answer him?
I was afraid of the pain, and the sight of the scalpel sent an unpleasant prickling sensation throughout my body, but it was more than that.
I didn’t want to be fucking tracked.
I would never escape them now.
He pulled his hand away from my back and started the process. I kept my eyes tightly shut. The numbness did its magic when I felt nothing but pressure on my skin, but it was the thought of what he was doing that got to me worse than any uncomfortable feeling.
I didn’t open my eyes when I heard him reach for something else on the tray.
It didn’t matter anymore.
I didn’t know how much time passed, but then I felt his hand on my head.
He waited patiently for me to open my eyes.
More tears fell down my cheeks when I did, and his expression was the usual cold and emotionless Killian that got to me harder than I dared to admit to anyone, even to myself.
He wiped the tears on my cheeks gently.
“I will never forgive you for this,” I choked out.
He nodded, as if he had thought of that, and came to accept it.
“Never,” I repeated to drive it home, as if my forgiveness would have meant anything to a man like Killian Tiernan.
He uncuffed me and pulled me into his lap before I could really think of fighting him.
I sagged against him when he locked his arms around my waist, and I did something I would hate myself for later.
I cried in his arms, seeking the comfort I knew would be there.
He rubbed his hand over the small of my back, holding me close and letting me cry it all out.
All the emotions and stress and fear since the brothers took me.
And I knew it didn’t change anything.
Didn’t change my situation, and now, thanks to Killian, it was even harder for me to leave.
Still, I didn’t try to leave his arms.