Chapter Seven
L owen had just finished setting the table when the front door opened, and she froze.
Suddenly, she was thrust into the past, and for one brief moment, panic flared in her belly at the thought that Scias had found her.
Visions of running swept through her mind.
Hiding. Curling in on herself to protect her vulnerable spots.
Then sanity returned.
She closed her eyes and let out a breath to settle her nerves. She kept reminding herself she was safe. Scias couldn’t touch her in Evren’s home. He wasn’t breaking in to drag her away.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m okay. Everything’s okay. It’s okay, I’m okay, everything’s okay.”
“Honey, I’m home,” Evren called out teasingly, with a smile in his voice. “What smells delicious?”
He walked into the kitchen just as she turned off the last burner, painting a carefree smile on her face.
“I made dinner,” she replied. “Tuscan chicken pasta. It has bacon, garlic, spinach, baby tomatoes, and Parmesan. Along with chicken and sauce, of course. This is one of my favorite dishes.”
He blinked, obviously shocked. “I had all this in my kitchen?”
“Yes,” she said and chuckled. She helped him take off his suit coat. “Your cupboards are stocked.”
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know, but this is my way to say thank you. And I really enjoy cooking.” For a moment, she remembered the only person who had ever been kind to her.
“We had a culinarian in the house. She was older but she was amazing. I loved watching her prepare food, and eventually she allowed me to help. Taught me her recipes.”
“Sounds like you loved her,” Evren quietly commented.
She nodded. “I did. Unfortunately, she ... um, Scias found out she was teaching me how to cook and he fired her.”
“Fired?”
“He k-killed her.” Lowen swallowed down the memory.
“Hey,” he said gently, using a finger to lift her face. “That’s not your fault.”
“He did it to prove a point,” she whispered. The guilt always lingered right below the surface. “To punish me for daring to find a shred of happiness in my gilded cage.”
He wiped away a tear she hadn’t known escaped. “Hey, remember, you had a do-over, right? Which means, she’s alive once again.”
The reminder was a bombshell. Happiness blazed through her as she grabbed his hand. “Oh my God! You’re right. How did I not think of that?”
Relief filled her, and the regret she had lived with vanished. It lightened her, one more balm to heal her heart.
“Come on,” he murmured. “We should eat. The divine smell is driving me crazy.”
She chuckled. The sound slightly rusty from disuse. Whether or not he believed her, he knew exactly what to say. They sat down and started to eat. With the first bite, Evren let out a little moan, and her shaky nerves settled immediately. This she could do. This was safety.
“Holy shit, this is good,” he remarked.
Satisfaction filled her. “Thank you.”
There wasn’t much dialogue because Evren seemed focused on his food. It made her happy that she could repay him with a good home-cooked meal.
“I was wondering if I should dye my hair.”
Evren wiped his mouth with his napkin before replying. “Why?”
“To make it harder for Scias to recognize me.”
He cocked his head. “Is that what you want to do?”
She blinked. “Honestly, it wasn’t something I ever thought about. The men in my past never gave me a choice. I was just wondering if you thought it would be a good idea.”
He reached over and took hold of her hand.
“This is your body. Your temple. If you want to dye your hair, do it. If you want to shave it all off or put it into dreads, I might tease you, but I’ll support your decision.
But if it’s because you’re scared, then I’d ask you to think about it more because fear should never be the answer. ”
His words surprised her, and they made her think about the answers he gave her. It was going to take some time before all the conditioning of her past life faded away.
“I don’t want to dye my hair,” she announced. Truthfully, she didn’t know she was going to say that until it popped out of her mouth.
Evren smiled at her. “Good girl.”
Her cheeks burned at the praise.
After Evren finished two plates of her pasta dish, he sat back and patted his belly. “I think I gained ten pounds.”
She rose and started to gather the dishes. “With all those muscles, I’m sure you’ll burn up the calories in no time.”
“All these muscles?” he asked, bringing up his arms in a biceps pose to show them off. He waggled his eyebrows at her.
“Yeah, those,” she replied dryly, trying not to smile.
Holding the dishes, she headed back to the kitchen. Evren followed her and took them from her hands.
“I got clean-up duty,” he declared.
Taken aback, she stared at him. “What?”
“I got ‘em. You slaved over the stove. It’s only fair that I get the dirty dishes.”
Emotion welled up, but she willed herself not to cry. Never, in her entire life, had a man volunteered to wash the pots and plates. In her old world, it was expected that a woman cook, clean, and pop out babies.
“Thank you.”
Something in her voice must have caught his attention. “You okay?”
Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she smiled and nodded. “I’ll go clean the table and put things away.”
Before he could say anything else, she turned and quickly walked away. This life was so different from her old one. How stupid she’d been to not take the chance in her past life, but how could she have known? Fear was a tangible, breathing monster.
“What is going on in here?”
Lowen jumped and swung around. Scias glared as he glanced from her cutting vegetables to the cook. Dread filled her, causing her heart to thump painfully in her chest. Her breath grew shallow and her vision narrowed.
“You are my wife,” he snarled, grabbing her arm.
The knife she held slipped and cut his hand. Fury erupted over his face and he raised his fist and punched her in the nose. Agony exploded as blood gushed out of her broken nose and poured down her face.
“Lowen?”
She jumped and spun so fast, she lost her balance.
Evren caught her before she could fall, and pulled her up against his body.
Once more, like the night they met, she fell into the depths of his eyes.
Electricity danced across her skin as an awareness took over, changing her rapidly beating heart from fear to something deeper.
She suspected the tingling sensation in her belly was attraction, but couldn’t be sure because the only reference she had was through the romance books she’d read.
She focused on his lips, wondering how it would feel to kiss him.
Her first kiss had been at her wedding, when Scias slammed his mouth down onto hers, smashing her lips so hard her teeth cut the tender tissue inside.
When he saw the blood, he smirked and wiped it away, licking his finger.
“Could you do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“Would ... you kiss me?”
He didn’t say anything at first, just stared as if assessing if she was serious. Then slowly, he bent his head and placed his mouth on hers. It was the softest, gentlest caress she’d ever had. The complete opposite from her wedding kiss. Then he lifted his head, and they stared at one another.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?”
“Giving me a better first kiss than my other first kiss.”
Lowen didn’t know if he believed her about her do-over, but at least he didn’t ridicule her or laugh in her face. Instead, he leaned his forehead against hers.
“Go rest. Let me start the dishwasher and then we can sit and talk. Okay?”
“What about your exercise?” she murmured.
“I think you’re more important right now,” he answered.
She opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say, so she closed it and nodded.
“You want something to drink?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said, frowning. “Evren, I don’t want to disrupt your life. If you want to exercise—”
He placed a finger on her lips, silencing her. “You’re not disrupting me. At least, not in a bad way. Missing a day on the treadmill won’t hurt me, and I think it’s important for us to relax and talk. Okay?”
She searched his eyes, trying to detect any type of annoyance or anger, and found nothing but sincerity.
So, she nodded. He smiled and then disappeared back into the kitchen.
Lowen sat down on the couch and got enveloped with pillowy softness.
When he joined her, he had a bottle of vodka clutched in one hand and two glasses in the other.
Evren sat down next to her before he placed both glasses on the coffee table.
He poured a generous helping into each and held one out for her.
“What should we toast to?” she asked, taking it.
“Shitty parents?” He clicked his glass with hers, and took a sip. “You know about the whole convoluted mess with my brothers. I’m pretty sure none of our parents actually divorced, so technically their marriages weren’t legal. But, us boys, we all stuck together.”
“I bet that made for some interesting Christmases.” He flashed a rueful smile. “We never celebrated holidays or birthdays. It was just too confusing since we were always shuffling between households. Jeremiah was the oldest and he took on the responsibility to feed and clothe us.”
“He protected you.”
Evren nodded. “He tried hard to stay aboveboard. It was Aera who used to beat up any bullies that tried to come after me or Saxon. Aera’s dad was a real piece of work.
I can’t tell you how many times he whipped Aera with a leather belt.
We were always slathering antibiotic ointment on the welts.
Eventually, his father overdosed, and right after that, Aera took off. ”
Sympathy filled her. She might not know Aera, but she knew what those beatings felt like. “And you?”
“I managed to attend college. Had a couple of girlfriends. Tried to live a normal life.”
She leaned her elbow on the back of the couch. “But?”
“But it’s impossible to be normal in this dynamic.” He took a drink. “So. What happens after death?”
She raised an eyebrow. “You believe me?”
“I’m open to believe. I’m pretty good at detecting liars, and you’re not one.”
His words took some of the weight off her shoulders. “I stood over my broken body, and I was given a choice. I knew who I was and what happened, so my spirit had consciousness.”
“That bastard. Scias should’ve been put down like a rabid animal instead of you marrying him.”
“I didn’t exactly have a choice. In families like mine, daughters are only good for political gain. Scias was a tactile move for my father. I remember, after the wedding, the other wives looking at me with pity because they all knew my father banged the coat-check girl in the closet.”
“Parents are shitty.”
“I think you already said that.”
“Hm, so I did. Bears repeating.” He stared at her. “What do you want to do, as a single lady, that is?”
“I ... I want to do everything. Dance. Laugh. Have fun. Explore. Date. A job. I’m going to find a great life, and there’s not one thing I won’t try.”
“Skydiving?”
“Bring it on.”
He chuckled. “Good for you.”
Then the reason she was with Evren dimmed her mood. “What would you do if you were me?”
“Everything you mentioned sounds good.”
“No, I meant about Scias? Would you disappear to a different country?”
“I’d kill him.”
The idea jolted her, and she blinked. “There is that.”
He finished his drink and filled it up again. “Topper?”
She finished her glass and held it up. He poured a generous amount.
“In any case,” he continued as he sat back down beside her, “my childhood is the reason I don’t want kids. Got a vasectomy years ago, just in case a condom broke.”
That didn’t surprise her. She was of the same mind.
“I don’t either,” she admitted. “Want kids, that is. I was terrified each month, before I got my period, that I’d be pregnant. Very relieved when I wasn’t. No way did I want to subject a child to that horrible, violent life.”
“We’re all violent.” He cocked his head. “Well, maybe not you.”
“I could be,” she admitted somberly. “I think I could kill my father. I could definitely kill Scias.”
He lifted some of her hair to play with. “My bloodthirsty time traveler.”
“Not time travel,” she said. “A do-over.”
“Right.”
A thought suddenly came to her. “Oh, God.”
“What?”
“This means I’m a virgin again. Son of a bitch!”
He blinked, then burst out laughing. After a heartbeat, she started laughing too. The damn vodka was working its magic.
“Don’t laugh,” she whined, still laughing herself. “I hated it the first time around. Sex is very, very painful.”
That seemed to sober him. “Wait. That’s present tense.”
She shrugged. “I know how it’s supposed to be. I watched a porno once and thought the actress was really good at faking how good it felt. Then I read some romance novels and that painted a picture that women were designed to love sex, too. At least, when they have a partner who cares and shares.”
“I would make it not painful,” he said. “And I love sharing. I’d make your pussy sing with all the sharing it can handle.”
“Really? You can make it sing? You’d do that for me?”
“Honey, there’s nothing quite like going down on a woman and making her scream in pleasure.”
“So, you have a lot of experience?”
“I wouldn’t say a lot but enough to have learned where the clit is.”
More laughter threatened to spill, but she managed to hold it in. Barely. She cleared her throat. “Well, you’re hired.”
His gaze flickered between her eyes and her mouth. A flutter danced in her belly. Did she mean what she said, or was it the vodka talking?
“Hire me tomorrow, when you’re sober.”
“Deal.”
****
S cias leaned back in his chair, where he watched over his domain.
Mostly naked women served drinks to the patrons.
Tits swinging all over the place. He personally enjoyed large breasts with big nipples, which his runaway fiancée did not possess.
If it weren’t for the fact he’d already bought her fucking virginity, there’d be no way he could stick his dick in such a thin, unappealing frame.
As soon as he got her knocked up, he could forget her existence.
“Does Grenier have her or not?” he demanded.
The man’s voice cracked. “I-I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I don’t have access to their private quarters.”
“Then why do I pay you for information if you don’t get me what I want!” he snarled. “Find her, or I’ll pay a visit to your mother.”
He hung up, and his bad mood got even worse. How dare that bitch run away from me. Trying to escape her fate. The moment he got her back, he'd break her legs so she’d never run again. She needed to learn her place.