Chapter Twelve
H is Lamborghini SUV idled while the brothers said goodbye.
Lowen held back, allowing them to talk freely without her underfoot.
Another habit from her previous life. Scias trained her well, making sure she knew her place every time they went somewhere.
Nausea rose as memories rolled through her mind, each one worse than the one before.
How long would it take before she could face the past and not want to throw up? Would she ever be normal?
“Everything okay?”
Lowen jerked her head up. Jeremiah stared at her, his resting bitch face still invoked her fight-or-flight impulse. She was about two seconds away from turning tail to run away, when he suddenly held up a manila envelope. Lowen blinked at the abrupt change.
“This is your new identity,” he explained.
She swallowed down her fright and took the package, happy when her hand didn’t shake. Inside, she found a driver’s license, a credit card, and a passport. She grabbed that and read the name he’d given her.
“Marie,” she mused. “That’s why you wanted to know my middle name.”
Jeremiah shrugged. “Seemed better to stick with a name you’re familiar with.”
“That was smart thinking,” she mused, smiling. “Thank you.”
“Don’t be afraid to use the credit card,” he continued. “It’s secure, so Scias can’t trace it.”
She bit her bottom lip. “I don’t need any money.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You have two sets of clothes. Eventually, you’ll need to wash them so it might help having backup to wear so you’re not naked. Not to mention all the, um, stuff women need at a particular time of the month.”
Heat engulfed her face. Even he looked slightly uncomfortable.
“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled, unable to look at him.
Saxon came over and yanked Jeremiah away.
“Stop it,” he drawled. “You’re embarrassing her. Go on, git. Shoo.” He motioned for Jeremiah to leave before he turned to her. “Now, my poor sister, I have an even better gift for you.”
“You didn’t have to get me any—”
“You are gonna love this.” He held up a small bag. “This is a cell phone with all the bells and whistles. I even put together a car ride playlist in the music app. It’s called ‘car ride playlist.’”
“Oh, my ... I’m...”
“I like texting, so now we can text for hours.”
Lowen was speechless. Jeremiah and Saxon had done so much for her that her heart felt like bursting. The generosity overwhelmed her and this time she couldn’t stop the tears.
“Whoa! What’s with the waterworks?”
“S-sorry,” she mumbled, wiping her face with the back of her hands. “It’s a lovely gift. I’ve never had a cell phone, but I’ve always dreamed of one. I could read books on it. Play games. I mean, I can Google anything! Thank you, Saxon. It’s way too much to spend on me, but I love this.”
Overwhelmed with gratitude, she threw her arms around him.
“Okay, you two, break it up,” Evren ordered, his voice reflecting annoyance.
The tone made her immediately release Saxon, letting her hair hide her face.
Guilt, shame, and fear from touching another man slammed into her.
She might not be under Scias’s thumb, but the re-do couldn’t erase years of grooming.
“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean ... I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”
“Whoa,” Evren said as she tripped stepping away from Saxon. He slid his arm behind her, preventing her from falling to the unforgiving concrete. “You okay?”
She nodded, unable to say anything. When he raised his hand near her face, she flinched and folded into herself. It was the only defense she had to protect herself. Awful memories rolled over her, poisonous whips slicing her skin, and she couldn’t hold back a whimper.
“Lowen? You’re trembling.” Evren gently pulled her into his arms. “Sh, you’re safe. No one can hurt you when I’m here.”
Darkness lingered heavily in her psyche, and it took a herculean effort to chase it away.
To punch holes in the shadows until the light came back, granting her a reprieve.
Scias was still the monster under the bed, but she vowed to her past self that she’d work on being strong enough to erase his presence from her soul.
Three steps forward and one step back. Progress thick like molasses, reminding her there was no room for him anymore.
He helped her into the passenger side of the car and then Jeremiah addressed them.
“No one but us knows you’ll be at Blackmeadow,” he said seriously looking between her and Evren. “I don’t trust anyone until the mole is caught. So, be careful and vigilant.”
“Always, brother,” Evren said.
They shook hands, then Evren got behind the wheel and they were off on their journey.
****
T hey rolled out of Las Vegas, heading north.
Jeremiah offered to book them a private plane, but Evren pointed out Scias might have spies everywhere.
He suggested driving, as it would be harder to track them, especially with their new fake IDs.
Regardless of the reasons, flimsy or not, Lowen was secretly happy because it gave her the chance to see parts of the country she never dared hope to see.
At first, it was nothing but desert and more desert.
She never gave a thought to the stark beauty of where she lived, mainly because her life had been so regimented, but she admired the rolling hills dotted with Joshua trees and barrel cactus.
Deep grooved canyons splayed out in maze-like patterns.
Ocean waves of ridgelines formed stretch marks along the choppy mountains.
Bold reds, pastel greens, and citrine yellows blazoned across the rugged terrain.
Pictures and television didn’t give any justice to the often misunderstood complexity of the arid environment.
“You okay?”
Lowen turned to her head to look at him. “I’m fine. Why?”
“You’re quiet,” he replied.
“I’ve never really seen Nevada. It’s actually beautiful.”
“Yes, it is. I was born and raised here, and I’ll probably die here,” he mused. “I never understood why my brother Aera hates it so much.”
“When did he leave?”
“About ten years ago.” He fell silent for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts.
“Like we’ve established, we all had shitty parents, but his dad was one mean son of a bitch.
Liked to hit first and never ask questions.
Aera got the brunt of his anger, although Jeremiah was hit a time or two.
They protected me and Sax from the beatings. ”
“I know exactly what that feels like,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Scias is a clone of Aera’s old man.”
“He ran to escape his memories.” Lowen sighed. “I’m doing the same.”
“You’re forging new ones.”
“Thanks to you. Maybe Aera will come back one day. When his memories no longer feel like weapons.”
“I hope so.”
They fell silent for a long moment, and she resumed her new favorite habit of staring out the window.
Only now, her mind wasn’t on admiring the scenery.
The past film-rolled through her head, but now she was able to think of her own memories without flinching.
Like she was remembering an old movie subplot.
Her father always told her she wasn’t pretty.
That she was lucky Scias Mailliard wanted someone plain and boring, as if he was some prize of manhood.
As if it were normal that she was beaten on a regular basis.
In that world it was. Her mother certainly took the brunt of his rage until he had ended her life.
Lowen vowed to never return to that nightmare. Right then she might not know who she was or what she wanted to be in life, but wife to the Devil wasn’t the end of her story.
Eventually, the desert slowly faded, giving way to tall trees and green grass.
About four hours into the trip, they parked at a rest stop, something Lowen had never known existed.
Although it made perfect sense for weary travelers to get a break and revive.
Set in nature, there were picnic tables and a walking path that wove among the shaded grove.
“Don’t wander off,” he warned. “We’re not far enough away from Vegas for me to feel comfortable to lower our guard.”
“Okay,” she said, a tad disappointed she wouldn’t be able to explore.
He used his finger to raise her chin, staring into her eyes. “How about this, let’s use the facilities and then I’ll escort you along the trail.”
She smiled. “Yes, thank you.”
Spinning, she hurried into the woman’s side and into a free stall. The toilet was cool metal, and she quickly laid a cover down. After, she washed her hands, not surprised to find Evren waiting. Men were luckier in that regard.
He held out his hand. “Ready?”
Their fingers entwined when she slid hers into his much larger one. “Yes.”
Only the faintest sound of cars from the highway trickled through the towering trees, allowing her to hear the chirping of birds.
The buzzing of bees. The sweet scent of sap mingled with the subtle hints of wildflower, damp moss, and pine.
Warm and multilayered, the different fragrances all came together to create a beautiful sensory experience.
Sunlight filtered through the trees, leaving the cool breeze to drift softly over her skin.
They didn’t talk. Evren seemingly understood her desire to live in the moment and enjoy the quiet.
This was something she’d never had the chance to experience, and she relished every minute.
When they got back to the SUV, Evren helped her into the passenger side and made sure to buckle her in. Then he walked around and slid behind the wheel. Moments later, they resumed their trip.