Chapter 17
Isabella
Purple bruises were forming around my throat.
I brought a hand up and gently touched where I was swelling and hissed through my teeth.
It hurt. “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t get to leave the house,” I said to Amalia, who was fussing over me.
We both winced because I had the voice of an eighty-year-old smoker.
“I should get you an ice pack,” Amalia said, tutting softly. “Ice and then heat, right?”
“That’s for a swollen ankle.”
She shrugged. “Swollen and bruised is swollen and bruised, right?” I was too tired to remember what I knew about bruising and shrugged. Everything in my neck, back, and shoulders pulled tight, and I whimpered. “I’ll be right back with an ice pack and some Tylenol,” she added.
I grabbed Amalia’s arm before she could get away. “He could have killed me,” I said, voice dropping to a near-whisper. “He would have killed me if it hadn’t been for you and Elio.”
She didn’t dispute what I said; we had both seen the look in Lorenzo’s eyes. When he shoved me into that bookcase. It was like he wasn’t even there. He had gone somewhere cold and dark in his head, and he didn’t see me as a real person anymore.
“I can’t stay here, Amalia, not after that.” I knew when Lorenzo took me from the urgi-care that he was capable of violence. I had seen it firsthand within days of being in this house. But after today, I was certain that he could and would kill me.
The air felt like it was sucked out of the room. Amalia’s expression was calm, but not entirely friendly. “What happened today was a fluke,” she said. “No one had been in that room for years. The door has never been unlocked. I don’t even know how you got in there.”
I had already told her about finding the door unlocked. While it hadn’t been ajar, Amalia had told me herself that I could go into unlocked rooms. Whoever left it unlocked is at fault here; not me. “Who cares about the goddamn doors?”
“The study didn’t unlock itself, Isabella.”
“He told me to go read a book, so I found a room with a bunch of books. I did exactly what he told me to do, and then I almost died for it.” My fingers lightly went to my neck again. The flesh was even more swollen than before.
Amalia’s tongue clicked against her teeth. “There’s just so much you don’t understand.”
“I don’t care to understand,” I insisted, beyond frustrated at this point.
I felt like I was in one of those Bizzaro World funhouses.
Nothing made sense, and I was arguing in circles with a woman whose loyalties would never side with me.
“Amalia, he put his hands around my throat and squeezed until I couldn’t breathe.
He wasn’t going to stop,” I said, trying to get her to understand me anyway.
“He told me to go read a book. I found a room with a bunch of books. I did exactly what he told me to do.” Why was I having to repeat myself?
“You know that was Sienna’s study, right?” I’d had an inkling when I looked up to see Lorenzo staring at me like I was committing some kind of cardinal sin. It wasn’t like I was burning her goddamn books.
I shifted and bit back a cry. He’d thrown me against the bookshelf so hard that I was sure that I would have bruises there too. What if he had lost it around Sienna and had done the same thing to her? Had he killed her and was now riddled with guilt? Or was he simply mourning the loss of his wife?
“Mourning someone isn’t an excuse. If Elio had put his hands on you, can you honestly tell me that you’d stay?”
“It’s different,” Amalia insisted. “Elio is my husband.”
I wanted to curl up and go to bed but moving hurt. “So, if I was romantically involved with him, that would change things?”
“Isabella, you’re here to work off a debt,” she said. I could tell that she was trying to be kind, but her tone was firm. “I know it doesn’t seem fair, and you didn’t grow up in the Cosa Nostra, but you’re actually lucky.”
“Do. Not. Tell me that I’m lucky.” My words came out in a growl that sounded even worse with my wrecked voice. “I did not put myself in debt. I was kidnapped and brought here because my father sold me to Lorenzo. There’s nothing lucky about that.”
“Trust me, it could have been worse.”
The worst part of this whole mess was that I knew she was right.
Lorenzo could have dumped me somewhere much worse.
But I wasn’t ready to admit that to her either.
“The argument that a spouse wouldn’t do something like that to you is shit,” I said with a sniff.
“I have seen far too many women come into the urgi-care who have been beaten to hell and back by their husbands.” I chuckled, and it was a loathsome, bitter sound.
“Besides, it’s not like fucking Lorenzo did me any favors. ”
“You slept with him?” An expression that was hard to define rolled across her face.
My eyes stung like they did right every time I started to cry, and I rubbed them with the heels of my hands.
I wouldn’t cry over this. I refused to cry over this.
“It didn’t mean anything,” I said, but I couldn’t tell if I wasn’t talking to myself or to Amalia.
I wrapped my arms around myself as best I could, suddenly cold.
“He threw me out of his room the one time I fell asleep there.”
Amalia’s warm hand touched my shoulder, but I shrugged her off. As much as I liked the woman, she was loyal to Lorenzo; I didn’t particularly want her touching me. “The fact that he took you to his room at all means a lot.”
I didn’t want to hear it. “It didn’t stop him from choking me.”
“He lost control today,” she said. “It won’t happen again.”
“No one can guarantee that. Men like him are dangerous.” I shifted, and my scar tissue pulled tight, as if to emphasize my point all the more. “It’s like letting a tiger live in your house with you; sooner or later, that tiger is going to attack.”
Amalia didn’t want to agree with me, but I could see on her face that she did. “If you tried to leave, Lorenzo would kill you,” she said. “I’m not being hyperbolic. I’m telling you a fact. Trying to leave is a death sentence.”
“So is staying.”
She shook her head, reaching out to pat my cheek. “I’m going to get that ice pack,” she said. “Please be sitting right here when I get back.” Her eyes were fastened on mine, as if she thought I was going to throw myself out the window and start running.
I might have imagined doing that a time or two, but if I was actually going to leave, I needed a much more cohesive plan than that. “I’ll be here,” I promised.
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the dark blue walls while the moments ticked by. “Isabella.” I didn’t have to turn to know it was Lorenzo at my door.
My body froze in place, even as my heart pounded in my chest. Adrenaline was pumping through me, but I couldn’t move. When he stepped over the threshold, I let out a noise that would be embarrassing if I wasn’t so filled with fear.
“What are you doing here?” Amalia’s voice broke through the ringing in my ears, and I was able to move again. I shot off the bed and landed somewhere near my closet door, as far away from Lorenzo as I could manage.
“I came to check on her.”
“Why?” Amalia demanded. “You can see she’s terrified.
Isn’t that enough?” She gestured in my direction, and I hated how I wanted to cower and make myself as small as possible so that he didn’t actually see me.
I was not this weak of a person, so why was I acting this way?
I was more frustrated with myself than with anyone else.
“Why don’t you walk the hell away for now, Enzo?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, behaving that way. ”
How could she talk to him like that? Didn’t she worry about his reaction?
I groaned softly at my own racing thoughts.
Not two days ago I would have said something similar without a thought in the world to what he might say or do.
Now, I was here with my throat on fire and voice like gravel, and all I could think was that if he reached for Amalia right now, I would run past them and straight out of the house.
Guards and my budding friendship with her be damned.
Fucking coward.
To my utter surprise, however, Lorenzo didn’t say a word. Instead, he let her curse at him for a few more minutes, a giant letting a gnat buzz around them without consequence, and then his eyes slid to me. My heart leaped into my throat again, but I forced myself to meet his gaze.
“From now on, you stay in your room,” he said, ignoring the indignant squawk that Amalia let out for being ignored. “Amalia will bring you meals.”
“I will not,” she declared. “You act like a damn brute, and now, she’s getting punished for it? I won’t stand for it, Lorenzo.”
He gave her a dead-eyed stare. “So, she’ll starve,” he said, as if it didn’t matter if that happened or not. He was well and truly done with me.
Beneath the fear I was drowning in, I felt a flash of pain. We weren’t anything to each other. He didn’t have to tell me that for me to understand it. But before he had sent me away the singular night I’d spent in his bed, I thought there had been something. A glimmer, maybe.
I shouldn’t care about that now; I should be glad that he was never going to touch me again. But I couldn’t help but mourn the loss of it, even if I was scared of how he had made me feel.
Still, there was something that I needed to know. “Lorenzo.” Both he and Amalia stopped arguing to look at me. “What about our deal?”
“What deal?” Amalia asked.
We both ignored her. “What about it?”
“Are we—” I swallowed hard, gritting my teeth against the pain. “Will you still honor it?”
He was quiet for a moment, and then nodded. “I’ll set everything up with Dr. Coleman.”
It’ll be clinical. Just like it should have been all along.