Chapter 26
Quinn
HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE
I feel so tiny in his arms. So small and safe. Xander is wrapped around me like a shield. There’s no doubt in my mind that he would protect me with his life. He’s a dangerous man. To everyone else. Not to me.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out and continue the hardest part of all of this.
The part I feel most guilty for. “Once I got his name off the lease, I got a third job so I could afford the bills by myself and save some money so I could refurbish it. But then I got a call from Caring Hearts Recovery Center, saying that my mom was there and was about to be put out on the streets unless I could get her rent up to date. Whatever income she has coming in isn’t enough to cover it.
I was told she had been there for about a year, ever since she had a drug-induced stroke that left her unable to take care of herself.
“I almost didn’t go and see her. I considered telling them to fuck off and that her debt isn’t my problem.
Guilt ate at me, though, so I went and met with the director, who was an asshole from the beginning.
I begged him to let me organize a payment plan and let her stay.
So he did, and then recently, he started adding on a late fee of one hundred dollars a day until I’m caught up.
I went there today to try to get him to work something out with me… ”
Xander’s fingers tighten again, digging into my flesh like he’s holding on for dear life. It’s slightly painful, but I don’t want him to stop. I need this. Him. And that scares me so much because the last time I felt like I needed a man, he hurt me so fucking bad.
“What happened, Quinn?” he asks through his clenched jaw.
“Nothing actually happened,” I answer, my voice cracking just before a sob breaks free. “He just touched me on the shoulder and implied that he would take sexual favors for payment. I’m just so sick of these assholes thinking they can touch me or act the way they do.”
Tears stream down my face as the dam that’s been keeping most of my emotions at bay this year finally collapses, and I fall apart for what feels like hours.
Once I start crying, I can’t stop. Xander holds me like a freaking baby in his arms the entire time, kissing my head every now and then, never once telling me not to cry or to get a grip on myself.
He lets me break while he holds all my pieces in the palm of his hands.
I’m just not sure he can hold our broken pieces together at the same time.