Chapter 28
Quinn
THAT’S RULE NUMBER ONE
Everyone needs a safe space. It’s my honor to be yours.
Tears threaten to burst out of me again.
When was the last time I felt truly safe?
Maybe when I first moved in with Jason?
I’m honestly not sure if I even felt that way then.
But when I’m in Xander’s arms, everything disappears. My mind goes quiet. My heart feels so whole when I’m around him.
This wasn’t supposed to feel like this, but it’s like we’ve had this pull toward each other ever since we met. I wish I could explain it. Or even understand it. I just know that when I’m with Xander, I can let go completely because he will take care of me.
“You need to drink and have a snack.” He holds up a bag of gummy bears and a bottle of water, and I can’t help but smile even though my eyes are watery from fresh tears.
Yeah, definitely a Daddy.
God. He’d make a beautiful dad one day, too.
There’s something about him. The way his family is so close. It’s obvious he adores his brothers and sister-in-law.
My heart aches at the thought of Xander having a family of his own.
Of our own.
I close my eyes for a second, letting the thought comfort me before I push it away. Why wish for things that aren’t possible?
“Sip this.” He hands me a small bottle of water with the cap already removed.
When I go to take it, he doesn’t let go and instead helps me guide it to my lips.
My cheeks burn as he watches me gulp down the cold, refreshing water.
After-cry headaches are the worst. At this point, I just need to start over with a shower to clean all the tears, smeared makeup, and everything else off and wash it down the drain.
“I probably look like a disaster,” I murmur, mostly to myself as I use my index finger to wipe under my eyes.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Xander set down the bottle of water on the nightstand before he reaches out and grasps my chin, holding it in his big palm while staring right at me.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Makeup, no makeup. Sexy clothes, comfortable clothes. Hair up or down. It doesn’t matter. You look perfect, no matter what.” He licks his lips and swallows. “You look like my dream come true.”
We gaze at each other for a few seconds before he leans in and kisses me. It’s soft, but Xander is in full control the entire time as he holds my face exactly where he wants it while using his tongue to explore.
He takes it slow, moving his lips from mine to trail kisses down the side of my neck. And when he gets to the neckline of my tank top, he stops and pulls away, reaching for something on the nightstand.
“Close your eyes and open your mouth.”
My lips curl up into a smile, and I narrow my eyes at him, but he raises his brows, giving me a stern look.
“Listen to Daddy.” His words are soft and quiet, but still laced with steel.
Butterflies erupt low in my belly as I let my lids flutter shut. Slowly, I part my lips and wait. For a second, nothing happens, and I peek at him through my lashes, only to find him staring at me like he’s memorizing every part of me.
“Naughty girl,” he murmurs. “Close them.”
I fight a smile and snap them shut while he unwraps something from foil. A second later, he gently sets something on my tongue, and it instantly starts to melt.
“Mmm.” Chocolate and caramel. The good kind that’s made with premium chocolate and velvety caramel.
“Good girl.”
My core clenches as blood rushes straight to my clit.
This time, when I open my eyes, he’s looking at my mouth, but he flicks his gaze up to mine, his expression distant and sad.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that,” he says roughly. “Nothing I say will change what happened to you, but I promise you from this day forward, you don’t ever have to worry about another thing.”
“I’m a big girl, Xander. I can take care of myself.”
Slowly, he brings his index finger up to my lips and gently presses until I open for him. My pussy soaks my panties, and I try not to squirm.
“Suck,” he whispers.
Unable to ignore his command, I draw his finger into my mouth, my eyes locked with his as we stare at each other in dim silence. Heat spreads over my cheeks as a twinge of humiliation hits me and goes straight to my clit, setting my whole body on fire.
“Daddy’s good girl. That’s what you are. So strong, yet still so sweet.”
I continue sucking, finding it weirdly comforting while also turning me on even more than I was already.
He doesn’t pull away for several seconds. When he does, he slides the same finger that was in my mouth into his, licking my saliva from his skin while watching me intently.
“Your knuckles are freshly wrapped.” I glance down at his other hand resting on the bed.
I noticed it when he first arrived, but Cash, Kian, and Beckett all had scrapes or wrapped knuckles, too, so I didn’t want to make a big deal about it… but… I need to know.
“Did you hurt that guy?” I ask, just barely a whisper.
He clenches his jaw for a second, then looks directly at me. “I killed him, sunshine. I’m going to kill every other person who ever hurt you. And if they aren’t alive anymore, I’ll kill their family.”
My pulse races faster, and for a second, my vision clouds. Did he just say…?
“Xander—”
“Daddy.”
Oh, God.
“Daddy,” I repeat.
“That’s rule number one, sunshine. When we’re together, I’m Daddy.”
“Rule number one?”
He nods and rises, he kicks off his shoes, and then unbuttons and removes his dress shirt. Then he reaches for my feet and pulls off one of my Vans, using his thumb to press along the arch for a moment before he moves to the other one.
“Yeah, baby.”
I nibble the inside of my cheek, confusion and questions swirling.
“What is this? Between us?”
It’s the one question that men hate. I’ve seen enough movies and read enough books to know that. I can’t help it, though. It’s not like I’m interested in anyone else, but I don’t know where I stand with Xander. Last night was supposed to be a one-time thing, yet tonight feels a lot deeper.
He pauses, his hand still wrapped around one of my feet. “I don’t know.”
There’s something in his voice that makes a lump form in my throat. Pain, maybe? Whatever it is, it’s not good.
Instead of saying anything else, I lie back against the pillows as he makes his way into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. As soon as I’m alone, I take a breath that is almost a silent sob.
Why am I upset? We barely know each other.
We’ve only had sex once. Why would he know what this is between us?
It’s not like he saw me once and became completely obsessed with me and decided I was his one and only future.
That’s the stuff of fairytales. This is real life. Things don’t actually happen that way.
When he returns a moment later, he holds out a washcloth. “Let me clean your face.”
“I can do it,” I squeak out as I try to grab the cloth from him.
“No.” He shakes his head, then gently starts wiping my face. “I think you spend too much time trying to take care of others. I want to be the one to take care of you.”
God, I might not survive this night.
Right now, I’m convinced I’m going to die of dehydration from all the tears that keep coming.
“I don’t like it when you cry.”
I laugh softly as he wipes my cheeks. “These are happy tears.”
Xander frowns like he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t comment. When he finishes, he tosses the towel and climbs into bed, nudging me over slightly so he has enough room.
He finds the button of my jeans and somehow manages to undo them for me. “Slide these off. I want your skin on mine.”
I wiggle my legs free and kick the pants onto the floor, leaving me in just my panties and tank top.
Xander immediately wraps himself around me, one leg kicks over both of mine, and one arm slides under me.
My back is pressed into his front, and his other arm curls over my chest, his big hand holding onto one of my wrists, holding me tightly against him.
“Fucking perfect,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to the back of my head.
We stay like this for a long time, both awake, tangled up in each other in the soft silence of the night. He runs the tip of his fingers over my bare arm in a steady motion that lulls me into that space between consciousness and sleep.
“I was with Nicola for over a year,” he begins slowly.
“We met at a club. She’s an influencer. We immediately started spending time together.
We liked a lot of the same things. Had a lot of the same dreams. In the beginning, things were great.
I thought she was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. ”
I stay as still as possible in his arms, not wanting to do anything that will make him stop talking.
He said he would tell me about his ex, but I didn’t expect it to happen tonight.
Hearing about her… how he felt for her… I want to throw up.
I don’t even know her, but I already hate her.
Xander isn’t perfect, but deep down within him is something good. I feel it in my soul.
He's also a bit unhinged… I might be, too, because I like that part about him… A lot.
Maybe it’s because I’ve never had attention like this from any person. Or maybe it’s my own messed-up shit that I have going on from my own complex trauma. Whatever it is, Xander makes me feel cared about. Seen. Looked after.
“I introduced her to my brothers. My dad. Bought that apartment on the top floor because she showed it to me and loved it. I sold the house I had near my brothers, which was the house I bought when I became an adult.
“About six months after we moved in together, she started acting differently. I kept close tabs on her from the very beginning of our relationship, and she knew it. After a while, she started having an issue with it. Called me obsessive and controlling.”
He is.
I knew that about him the very first day we met.
Maybe not specifically.
But I knew Xander was different.
And that’s my favorite part about him.
“We started fighting a lot. She would get me to buy her something expensive, and then everything would be fine for a few days. The picture she’d put in my head in the beginning wasn’t what was unfolding before me.
She wanted to party. I wanted to be home with her.
She wanted to travel the world. When I told her I couldn’t leave my family business, that I didn’t want to, she said I could still pay for her to go.
Things started to really go downhill from there.
I started to pull away, and she knew it.
“Then, she told me she was pregnant.”