Chapter 44
Quinn
THEY CARE ABOUT ME
Roman hasn’t said a word to me all night. He’s been watching me, though, and it’s making me uneasy. Mostly because he’s looking at me with concern, not the usual on-guard attack dog expression he usually sports.
Josh reaches around me for a bottle to refill. “Are you okay, Quinn? I don’t want to get into your business, but I’m here if you need anything. You know that, right?”
I smile up at him, a warm feeling washing over me briefly. Even if things don’t work out with me and Xander, I still have people in my life who care about me. Not many, but I’m okay with that.
“Thank you. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at Luxe.” I glance at the clock on the computer screen. “I’m glad you were on my shift tonight.”
Josh winks at me. “It’s always a good time when I get to work with you. Night, Quinn.”
As I head out of the bar, Roman follows, but I don’t spot Xander anywhere. When I pause and look back at my shadow, he meets my gaze.
“I’ll be driving you home tonight, Miss Summers,” he says, motioning toward the valet entrance.
Tears prick at the back of my eyes. It’s so stupid to have thought that Xander would come get me. I told him we needed to be apart. I told him I loved him, and then I told him we couldn’t be together.
A quiet sob escapes, and by the time I’m in the back of an SUV, tears are rolling down my cheeks. Silently, I watch out the window as the bright Las Vegas lights pass by, slowly disappearing behind us. I keep my head down, not wanting to make Roman uncomfortable. I’m sure he already hates me.
When he pulls the car to a stop and puts it in park, I finally look up, but when I do, we’re not in front of my apartment building.
We’re at the house Xander showed me earlier today.
“Roman,” I say as I look around in confusion.
Before he says anything, the back door opens, and Xander is standing there, looking at me with the saddest, most broken expression on his face.
He holds out his hand for me and swallows. “Will you walk with me?”
I’m shaking like a leaf as I slide my fingers into his palm. He holds onto me, helping me out of the car. Xander leads me around the house, following paved pathways that make the property feel like a tropical resort.
When we get to the backyard, he stops and stares at the city lights that sparkle like diamonds in the distance. Then he turns around, and his eyes are filled with tears, and I suddenly can’t breathe.
“You’re my world. You make me want to be kinder, gentler, more optimistic.
The way you make me feel loved and cared about is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
It’s pure and unguarded. And it’s what you deserve, baby.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and as much as it’s going to kill me to be away from you, I have to do this. ”
I choke out a sob, unsure what he’s getting at but already knowing I’m not going to like it.
“I’m checking into a rehab facility a few hours away. They offer drug and alcohol treatment as well as various forms of therapy.”
With my hand pressed against my mouth, I try to stifle another sob. “How long are you going to be gone?”
He stares at me for a moment and then closes his eyes. “I don’t know. It could be a couple of weeks or a couple of months.”
My entire body trembles as I think about not seeing Xander for any length of time. He’s doing this because of me.
“Do you hate me?” I can barely get out the words, but I have to know.
Shaking his head, he pulls me against him, squeezing me so tight that it’s hard to breathe, but I don’t care.
You,” he steps back and cups my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away, “have become my reason for breathing. I love you with every broken piece of my heart. One day, you’re going to be my wife and the mother of my children.
I want to be worthy of that, though. So, no, baby girl, I don’t hate you.
I love you, and I’ll always love you. Even in the afterlife. ”
He studies me, his expression so sad. “I need you to do something for me while I’m gone.”
Without even thinking, I nod. Whatever he wants, I’ll do.
“I won’t be able to focus on getting better if I’m worried about you, so I need you to listen to Roman and let him drive you wherever you need to go.”
“Okay.” I sniffle and wipe my eyes, trying to get it together, but it’s not working.
“Everything you said earlier. The home, the babies, the life. I want that, too. With you.”
With my arms wrapped around him, I cry against his chest for several minutes. This is probably going to be one of the most painful things I’ll ever have to go through, but I also know it’s necessary for Xander so he can heal from the horrific shit he went through with that bitch.
“I love you so much,” I whisper.
“I love you, too, sunshine. I’ll see you soon.”
Day One
This is the worst kind of pain I’ve ever felt.
I cried all night and didn’t sleep a wink.
Cash stopped by the bar to check on things in Xander’s absence, and he looked at me like he’d seen a ghost. Which is probably because, with the dark circles under my eyes and how pale I am today, he thinks I am one. I’m too exhausted to care, though.
Day Two
Today is even worse than yesterday. I have no idea where Xander is or what kind of treatment he’s going through, but I worry about him. What if he’s not okay right now? What if he’s upset? It kills me to think about him going through this alone.
I told Kian that today when he came by the bar. He told me that Xander isn’t alone, which he knows. I just hope he knows I’m behind him, supporting him from here. I just miss him so goddamn much.
Day Five
“Quinn.”
I flick my gaze from the metal shaker cup and slowly blink. “Hi,” I say breathlessly as I attempt to smile at Jordyn and Cash.
The two of them look at each other, then back at me.
“You might be pissed at me for this, but you’re off shift for the rest of the night and tomorrow. You’ll still be paid, but you need to take a couple of days off,” Cash tells me in a tone that I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t argue with.
“No,” I answer, shaking my head as I go back to what I was doing. “I’m fine, you guys.”
One or more of them have shown up at whatever bar I’ve been working at each day since Xander’s been gone.
They say they’re just checking on business or stopping by to say hi, but it’s more than that.
They’re checking on me. For Xander. Because they care about him, and they want to make sure he knows I’m okay.
They’re both quiet for a moment before Jordyn speaks.
“Quinn, honey,” she says softly. “You’re exhausted. Have you slept since he left?”
Not a wink.
I raise my eyes to meet hers, and she knows the answer to that. The Savage men have danced around me on eggshells with questions when they stop by, but Jordyn has not only been checking on me in person, but she’s been texting me, too. She knows I haven’t slept.
“We care about you, and we don’t want you to collapse or get sick. Come home with us. You can nap there and then see how you feel.” She motions for me to come with them.
They care about me?
“Quinn, go get your fucking purse and let’s go, or so help me, I will carry you out of here myself and then tell on you to Xander for being a brat.” Cash raises his eyebrows at me like he’s waiting for me to just try him. I’m both shocked and a little pissed that he would tell on me. What a dick.
“Cash,” Jordyn hisses, elbowing him in the ribs, then smiling at me. “Just come with us. You’re family, Quinn. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”
What?
I’m family?
This time, when I glance at Cash, he’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure something out. “You didn’t know you’re part of our family, Quinn?”
Something inside my stomach flips, and despite the people crowded around the bar and slot machine noises, I can’t process it.
When was the last time I was part of a family…
Jason’s family wanted nothing to do with me because of where I came from. I’m not sure if my mom ever actually wanted me or just had me because she didn’t have resources for other options at the time.
“Okay, fine. But only for today.”
Day Six
I slept for almost twelve hours at Cash and Jordyn’s house. Then I took a shower in that amazing guest bathroom again. It was heavenly, but it also made me think of Xander. Of him fucking me bare and coming all over me, marking me with his come. It was kinky yet strangely intimate, too.
After that, Jordyn talked me out of going to work and took the night off as well. We started by soaking in the hot tub and then hung out all evening, watching silly romantic comedies that made me temporarily forget how much I miss Xander. The ache was still there, but not so deep.
It was the sort of girls’ night I’ve always seen in movies but never experienced in real life until now. Even though we’re in our twenties, it was the best night I’ve had in a while.
Day Twelve
I thought the longer we were apart, the easier it would get, but it’s just the opposite.
Sleep comes and goes, but only enough to keep me going.
I napped at Cash and Jordyn’s house yesterday after they insisted again.
I don’t know why I’m able to sleep over there and not at my apartment.
Maybe it’s because I’m around other people who love Xander, too, and I find that comforting. Or maybe I just find them comforting.
Roman is still attached to my hip. You’d think we’d be besties by now. Unfortunately for him, I’ve been in a terrible mood. He’s probably witnessed me cry more times in the past couple of weeks than he’d like to count. I’m sure he’s happy I haven’t been in the mood to talk.
Day Thirteen
I got a delivery. Well, I think it was a delivery. Roman knocked on my door and handed me the most beautiful bouquet of sunflowers along with a flat box. Wrapped inside is a dark gray cotton T-shirt, and as soon as I pull it out, Xander’s familiar, warm scent hits my nose.
Baby girl,
Try wearing this to sleep. Maybe it will help.