Chapter 45
Xander
I’M GOING HOME
Earlier…
For thirty days, my skin hasn’t stopped crawling.
It’s not the lack of alcohol causing it.
Or the daily therapy sessions I’ve been going through since I got to the rehab facility.
No, it’s none of those things.
It’s her.
Every second away from Quinn has been the worst kind of pain I’ve ever endured.
I thought what Nicola did to me was painful, but being without Quinn was downright agonizing.
The updates I got from Cash every day only made things worse.
Between how much she’s been crying and how little she’s been sleeping, I’ve been worried to death about her.
I knew the people in our lives would take care of her while I healed myself.
I’m sure Jordyn has been a total bull in a china shop with Quinn, but I’m so damn thankful for my strong, stubborn sister-in-law.
It’s just a bonus that Jordyn actually really loves Quinn and wants them to be besties.
“Are you ready to go home?” Cash asks when I step out of the center I’ve been staying at for the past month.
Beckett and Kian are right beside him, grinning. At one point, Beckett holds up his phone and takes a photo of me walking down the steps toward the SUV.
“Gonna have to frame that one,” he teases.
Kian shoves him sideways and shakes his head, then steps up to me to give me a backslapping hug.
Fuck, I’ve missed these guys.
My brothers.
My best friends.
“How’s Quinn?” I ask after I’ve hugged each of them.
It has killed me to be away from her. I spent half the time wanting to check myself out of this place and go home to her and just do outpatient therapy.
Then the look in her eyes when she told me she didn’t completely feel safe with me when I’m drunk was enough for me to swallow the pain of missing her and continue the journey I’d started.
“She’s okay. According to Roman, she’s a badass at poker,” Beckett answers. “And she’s a goddess in the kitchen. Have you tried her cooking before?”
I glare at our youngest brother. “How the fuck would Roman know that Quinn plays poker? And why is she cooking for your dumb ass?”
Cash slaps me on the shoulder and nudges me toward the car.
“Ignore him. Roman was only doing what we all attempted to do while you were gone. Keep her distracted when she seemed like she needed it. And we all got to taste her food. I told you she was going to use our kitchen for photos, so we made it a family dinner and enjoyed the food when she was done with it.”
While I was here, I was only able to communicate with one person, so I talked to Cash daily.
I knew he would tell me the truth about how Quinn was doing.
He also made sure she was taken care of and did whatever I asked while I wasn’t there.
I owe him big time. But I think he knows I would do the same for him if the tables were turned.
Unable to stop myself, I smile and pull Cash in for another hug. “I’ve missed you, bro. Thank you again.”
He smiles and nods, then lifts his chin toward the car. “Ready to go home to your girl?”
Ready doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Jordyn gives me a brief hug as she walks out of Quinn’s apartment, but she doesn’t waste my time with small talk. I have somewhere to be, and that’s with my girl.
I dismiss Roman and wait until the elevator doors close before I step inside. As soon as I do, her scent hits me like a tidal wave.
I’m home.
Every nerve and cell in my body comes to attention, and my cock aches.
Strawberries and everything her.
My sweet sunshine.
God, I’ve missed her.
I just hope she feels the same way for me now.
That she still loves me.
And that she still wants me to be her Daddy.
Every day for the past month, those thoughts have run through my mind.
It’s possible I’ve already tarnished what we had.
I wouldn’t blame Quinn if she doesn’t want to give me a second chance.
I just hope like hell that she’s ready to have a stalker for the rest of her life if she doesn’t want me, because I’m not going anywhere. She’s mine.
Nothing has changed in her apartment since I left, so it’s easy to navigate to her bedroom.
The chair I used to sit in is empty, and she’s curled up under the blankets, snoring softly.
I want to go to her, to wake her up and kiss her, but Cash said her sleep has been terrible, and she’s been too pale for his liking, so I’ll watch her until she wakes on her own.
The string of twinkle lights over the head of her bed is on, giving just enough of a glow so I can watch her face as she sleeps. Every so often, she lets out a soft little sigh, or her mouth twitches like she’s trying to smile. I hope like hell she’s dreaming of something happy.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but I soak in every second of it until suddenly her breathing changes and I know she’s awake.
Then she suddenly sits up and blinks several times. “Daddy.”
A lump the size of a baseball lodges in my throat, and my eyes start to burn.
My girl.
My sunshine.
“I missed you so fucking much, baby girl,” I say roughly.
Before I finish my sentence, Quinn is out from under the blankets, crawling toward the end of the bed. Then she practically lunges at me in the chair, wrapping herself around me as she sobs. And now, I know deep within me that everything is going to be okay.
My world is right again.
She hasn’t left my lap all day. We’ve stayed in this chair, holding each other and talking, my cock lodged inside her pussy for a better part of it all. It’s fucking perfection. She is perfection.
My sunshine.
“You’re beautiful,” I murmur.
Her cheeks go pink, and I roll my hips against her, her heavy breasts shaking and begging for attention.
I close my mouth over one of her nipples, and she whimpers at first like it hurts, but then it turns into a soft moan while she throws her head back and comes for me.
Again. And I go right along with her, not even caring that we’re not using a condom.
I spent a month without my girl. It was the worst kind of torture. I want to be as close as possible to her for as long as she’ll put up with me.
“I love you,” she whispers, slumping against my chest, her head on my shoulder.
“I love you, too.” I stroke her naked back, my eyes closed as I focus on the moment instead of anything from the past. “Marry me.”
Quinn sits up straight, her face twisted in shock. “What?”
“Marry me. I promise never to touch another drop of alcohol again. If I do, you can leave me and take every dollar I have.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head, then reaches out and cups my face. “Don’t you get it, Xander? I don’t want your money. The only thing I want is you.”
I stare into her loving, genuine gaze, and I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with Quinn.
I meant what I promised, but I’m not worried about it because, as long as I have her, I don’t need anything else.
My therapist would tell me that it’s not healthy to replace one addiction with another, but she isn’t something I’m willing to give up.
Not now. Not ever. Not even in the afterlife.