33. Inexplicable Feelings
CHAPTER 33
INEXPLICABLE FEELINGS
S erena
I pace the short length of the boathouse so quickly I just end up making my head spin. Elena has been working on Antonio for the past hour, and I haven’t been able to sit still. His wound was so infected that even unconscious he’d cried out when the dottoressa had removed the thread. The thread that I’d insisted on using.
Dio , I’m an idiot.
This is why Bella is the doctor, not me.
What feels like an eternity later, Elena props her glasses on the top of her head and glances up at me. “I’ve removed all the thread, along with the infected tissue around it. I cannot close the wound now for fear of a secondary infection. All we can do is keep it open and clean and hope it will heal itself from the inside out. It will take longer and the scarring will be worse, but at least he’ll live.”
“This is all my fault…” I murmur.
“No.” Her eyes narrow, lips twisting in disgust. “You did not choose to be dragged into this situation, Serena. The guilt here lies with Antonio, and only Antonio.”
“But if I hadn’t sewn him up?—”
“He would have bled out and died, as he almost did from the wound on his back which was left open. There were no good options. You did the best you could.” She speaks matter of factly, and with no nonsense. She isn’t trying to coddle me or consider my feelings.
I don’t dare bring up the fact that I came all over his fingers last night. The exertion, sweat, and all the rest could not have possibly helped the situation.
Digging into her bag, she places a pile of bandages, disinfectant spray, and a bottle of antibiotics at the end of the sunbed. Then she rises and exhales a long breath. “Now, I suggest you take advantage of his current state and find your way home.”
“And just leave him like this?” Guilt and something else zips through my chest, spearing at my heart at the idea.
“I’ve already given him pain medicine and a dose of the antibiotics. The fever will subside soon enough. Once it does, he’ll wake and be more than capable of caring for himself. I’ve left him everything he needs.” She pauses, sharp eyes fixed to mine, on the oversized sweats I still wear. “Go, Serena, your freedom lies just beyond the door.” The dottoressa signals toward the old timber, but my feet are rooted to the spot.
“I—I…” What? I can’t even come up with a single logical excuse that would keep me here. Whoever set fire to the villa must be gone by now. “Can I use your phone to contact my father?”
She nods. “Of course.” Drawing it out from the inside of her jacket, she hands it to me. “I’ll wait outside so you can have some privacy.”
“ Grazie .” I offer her my best smile as I clutch the phone to my chest. “Elena,” I call out before she slips out. “If you hate Antonio so much, why did you come when I called?”
“I did it for Maria Graziella, in his mother’s memory.” The tight set of her jaw softens. “If she had been here, she would have begged for his life, despite all the terrible things he’s done with it.”
“It wasn’t his fault he turned out this way.” I don’t know why I find myself defending my abductor, but here we are.
“I know.” She nods slowly. “But it’s never too late to change, to start over.”
“And you don’t think Antonio will?”
“I hope with all my heart that he does, but I’ve found that it’s easier to remain on the same familiar path than to forge a new one.” She turns toward the door, and I don’t stop her this time.
I glance over my shoulder at Antonio, sprawled across the lounge chair. A clean, white bandage stretches across his bare chest and curves around to his back. Despite his wound looking better, his expression is pinched, even in sleep. Am I completely insane to even consider staying with him until he wakes?
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I turn my attention to the phone in my palm. Papà is going to lose his shit when he finds out what happened. I hold my breath, waiting for that familiar voice. It rings and rings but no answer. I try two more times before I leave a message.
“Pa it’s me. I’m okay, but things kind of went to hell at Antonio’s place. The villa has been burned down, and he doesn’t know who’s behind it. He took a bullet in the back, and we’re hiding out until this blows over. We’re not sure if they came for me or him. It’s gotta be that Sartori guy, right? Anyway, neither of us have a phone so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to call you again, but I’ll try soon. We’re in Como, and I’m going to head back to Milano the first chance I get. I’m safe with Antonio so don’t worry too much.” I hang up, purposely being vague about the whole hostage situation. If Papà knew I had the opportunity to run and didn’t, he’d be really worried about my sanity. And rightfully so.
Before I relinquish the phone to Elena, I make one more quick call. Please pick up. Please pick up .
“ Dottoressa Bergamaschi?” Raf’s voice echoes across the line and unexpected emotion tightens my throat. I never thought I’d have a reaction like that to Bella’s bodyguard.
“No, it’s me, Serena.”
“Serena, what the fuck? Where are you? Isabella’s been going nuts?—”
His voice cuts off, replaced by a much more pleasant, if not high-pitched one. “Sere!”
“I’m okay, Bella. I’m safe.”
“What? Why wouldn’t you be safe? I thought you were ghosting me because you were scared I’d yell at you for not telling me about your permanent move to Milano.”
“What? No… I was abducted the night of your welcome home party and dragged back to Italy.”
“What?” she screeches across the line. “Abducted?”
“ Papà didn’t tell you?”
“No, I haven’t heard from your father since that night. Even my dad has been MIA besides an occasional text message. What is going on?”
“It’s Antonio Ferrara.”
“Raf’s brother?” She shrieks again and now Raf’s back on the line.
“I’m going to murder that fucking traitorous—” His voice echoes across the speaker.
“Stop, Raf. He was shot, almost burned alive at your family’s villa in Como.”
“Why the hell did he bring you there? He vowed never to return?—”
“It doesn’t matter,” I cut him off. “All that matters is that I’m okay, and I think he’s going to be.”
“I don’t give two shits about that bastardo ,” Raf growls.
“Sere?” Bella interrupts. “Are you still with him?”
“Umhmm.”
“Put him on the phone,” Raf barks.
“I can’t. He’s still unconscious.”
“Then what the fuck are you still doing there?” I can hear the venom in Raf’s tone, and a twinge of sadness rears up. I just told him his brother almost died, and he didn’t even flinch.
“Sere, are you okay?” The concern in Bella’s voice is palpable.
“I am now.”
“Then why are you still with him?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Serena,” Raf grumbles. “Bella said you had bad taste in men, but?—”
“Shut up!” Bella hisses, then there’s the sound of a scuffle and the speaker shuts off. “Sere, it’s just me. Are you going to explain what is happening or will I have to jump on a plane to Como and drag your ass back home?”
“No!” I blurt. “It’s not safe for you, Bella. You stay right where you are. We have no idea who was behind the fire and they could still be in the city, which is why we’re lying low.”
“We?”
“Huh?”
“You used we in that sentence twice, Sere.” She pauses, heaving in a breath. “What is going on with you and Antonio?”
“It’s complicated…”
“Oh, shit. Raf’s right, isn’t he? You fell for your kidnapper?”
“No…” Dio , it’s not like I’m in love with him. I just have inexplicable feelings. “Look, he came to my rescue and now I feel like I owe him, okay?”
“Rescued you from what? After he kidnapped you?”
Elena’s head pops into the boathouse, and she signals to the watch on her wrist.
I nod quickly. “Bella, I can’t explain everything right now, and I have to go but try to get a hold of my dad. Tell him I’m safe and that I’m going to return to Milano as soon as I can.”
“Why won’t you let me come for you?”
“I already told you, it’s not safe,” I hiss.
“Then I’ll send Raf.”
“Absolutely not.” He’ll kill Antonio before he has a chance to explain. “Raf needs to stay with you and keep you safe.”
“Fine then, how about Matty or Alessandro?”
“I’ve got this under control, I swear.” But do I really? I blow out another breath, giving me just another second to think. “Okay, tell Alessandro to meet me at the airport in Milano in three days. If I don’t show, tell him to call the cavalry.”
“Three whole days?”
I glance over at Antonio, at the blood already seeping through the pristine bandage. “Yes, three days, Bella. And don’t you dare come with him or tell my father or anyone else for that matter, or I swear to Dio , I’ll never speak to you again.”
“You’re crazy, Sere, but I love you. Please be safe.”
“Same here, cuz.” I jab my finger at the call end button and walk over to Elena who still stands by the door.
She throws a disapproving glare in my direction. “You’re not leaving.”
“I’m not leaving. Yet .”
Her head dips with a frustrated sigh. “If you insist on staying, make sure he rests for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. It’s crucial he doesn’t exert himself and reopen that wound. Do you understand?”
My head dips quickly.
“Maybe Dio sent you to him for a reason.” Her brow lifts, assessing. “Or maybe it was Maria Graziella herself.” With a shrug, she spins to the door and marches out.