12. Mila
12
MILA
I was no longer taking the bus.
Not when I found a set of keys to a brand new car on my dresser just where Maverick had left his overnight bag.
I first thought it was a mistake, but I knew Maverick wasn’t the kind of man to make mistakes like this.
He left a car here for me. I had no doubt there was a tracking device on it, so it wasn’t like I could just drive away with it. And I didn’t want to run.
I was done running.
Maverick had left after he ordered us some breakfast, and we ate it in the motel room. Something about a fallout with another organization, and he needed to be back in the city. I didn’t really pay attention when he told me, not much caring for the politics of it all. I never much cared for what went on with Dad at the club, and now that Maverick and his brothers had taken over the narcotic trade Dad had headed for so long, I found I cared even less about it.
Just as long as they returned to me at the end of the day, I didn’t want to know the details.
But now that I had a car and didn’t have to wait out in the scorching heat for the bus, I took it on a drive and found myself heading to the diner for lunch.
I was hungry.
I had thrown up the breakfast Maverick had gotten me soon after he left—thank God. I didn’t want to explain the sudden morning sickness to him, and I found I was more hungry than usual. Though I supposed that was normal.
So I went to the diner, feeling light for the first time in ages. The same server who had helped me before smiled and indicated with her head for me to take a seat.
I found one by the window.
I grabbed the menu next to the condiments and looked it over, taking in the different foods I hadn’t tried. I was craving something… only I didn’t know what that was.
Even by the time the server came by, I was still indecisive, so I ordered about three plates, thinking I could always take it back with me for dinner tonight. The server looked at me strangely, though she didn’t comment and walked away.
I looked out the window, lost in thought. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and yet, not much at all, that I was left dumbfounded.
A shadow fell over me then, and I thought it was the server coming back with my food, but before I could look up, the shadow moved, and suddenly, a warm body was pressed up against me from the side. I startled and looked over to meet honey-brown eyes.
He smiled at me.
I was too stupefied to do anything with my face but look at him.
I didn’t stop him when he moved his hand up and pressed it softly to my side, stroking it gently.
My lips opened, but still nothing came out.
I didn’t know why I was even surprised, considering Maverick had spent the night with me, so no doubt Silas and Killian would be close by.
He got to my lips, tracing around them, his touch featherlight, and I felt my bottom lip twitching, then trembling. I pulled back and turned away from him, focusing my gaze back out the window.
I supposed I was angrier with him than I was with Maverick or Killian because he had been the one I came to for the birth control. He was also the one who had “given” it to me as some sort of consolation bargain after I had witnessed him torturing another man in the basement of the house, as if that had been any better.
His lie hurt more than anything else, especially since I had thought I was closer to him than the other two.
“Baby,” he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. I didn’t turn around to look at him, trying to get my emotions under control. I didn’t want to show him too much, and I wasn’t sure I could not when he was sitting nearby.
“Mila, please look at me.”
I shook my head. I felt his hand on my thigh, but he didn’t move it. “Fuck me, angel, but it’s so good to see you, to feel you. These past weeks have been fucking hell.”
He paused. I wasn’t sure what he expected me to say, but when I said nothing, he continued, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I turned back slightly to look at him. There was something about his face then. He still looked like my Silas, but there was something dark in his eyes that made my heart pinch.
Our eyes met, and he slid in a little closer to me, his heat comforting me in a way I wished I hadn’t noticed. It made it harder for me to hold on to my anger. To hold on to the image of him as a man in the mob who tortured people. I knew both Maverick and Killian tortured people as well, but it was different knowing about it than seeing it firsthand.
“What are you sorry about?” I asked, my voice cracking at the end. His grip on my thigh tightened a bit from that.
“Everything,” he breathed out.
“Everything?” I turned to him fully. “And would you have done it again?”
I was met with a silence so loud I didn’t need him to answer me. I tried to pull away, but he only followed, getting up so close in my personal space, it felt like a branding. I narrowed my eyes on the move.
He ignored that. “Do you want the truth or the pretty lie?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Of course I wanted the truth.
“I won’t lie to you. I went about the whole birth control thing the wrong way. I shouldn’t have given you a placebo. I shouldn’t have given you anything at all. The only thing I would have changed was to take the fucking time to bring the fucker we found loitering on our property away from there, away from you. That was a side of me I never wanted you to witness.”
My lips curled, and I knew he could see the anger in my eyes because he wrapped his arms around my shoulder and pulled me in even closer to him.
“I am fucking obsessed with you,” he said, taking away the flames inside me that wanted to ignite. I frowned at him, and he smiled a little. “So fucking obsessed, I wanted to own everything about you. Everything, angel, and there was no way I would ever let anything like condoms or fucking birth control get in the way between you and me.”
I shook my head. “Don’t you hear how unhinged that is?”
He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, picking up my glass of water and taking a sip. I watched him, speechless.
He placed the glass down just as our server came by with all my food. She smiled at Silas. “Ah, I wondered why a little thing like you would order so much food. Now I know.”
I smiled tightly but didn’t answer her. I ordered food for myself, and if Silas thought I was going to share any of it with him… well, he better ask nicely.
I waited until the server left before I turned to Silas. The dark look on his face took away anything I might have said to him.
I pulled back. “What?”
“Were you expecting someone, angel? I know it’s not Maverick since he left this morning.”
I frowned. “I’m not expecting anyone. What’s wrong with you? And why do you look like you want to kill someone?”
“Just so we’re clear, if any other man touches you, looks at you, so much as thinks about you, I’ll kill him. That’s a promise, sweetheart, so if you don’t want some fucker’s blood on your conscience, you won’t give any fuckers out there your time.”
I rolled my eyes. Was that what got him looking like that?
“You act like I have the time, energy, or even motivation to find someone else. Trust me, three men is more than enough.”
More than enough, especially since the Tiernan brothers were just so… much. They simply dominated everything and everyone around them.
I leaned back on my seat, looking down at the table. I felt his hand on my thigh once more, and I looked over at him. There was a sort of satisfied glint in his eyes that made me pull up short.
“What?”
“You’re still mine, aren’t you, angel?”
“What?”
He smiled. “You said three men. I’m included, aren’t I?”
God, how could he sound so arrogant and amused at the same time?
I closed my mouth and looked away. Had it not been obvious? I didn’t even recognize the girl I had been since I ran away. Was he really expecting me to answer him?
“It doesn’t matter where you went, what you think. You were always mine, and there’s no escaping that.”
“Whatever,” I muttered, picking up the fork and stabbing the baked potato on my plate. I could feel his eyes on me as I ate, and if that wasn’t unnerving enough, I could feel him thinking. I tried not to squirm.
“That’s a lot of food for one small angel, no?” he asked.
I took my time chewing my food before I answered him. “I didn’t know what to order. And I thought I might bring what I didn’t finish back to the motel room with me for dinner tonight.”
A dark cloud moved over his expression. “That fucking dump you’re staying in?”
“Yes, the same one you’re staying in… next door,” I quipped.
He didn’t deny it. “Let me bring you to a hotel. Somewhere nice. With room service.”
I took another bite, not answering him until I swallowed. “No, thank you.”
“No?” He sounded surprised. What did he think? That I was going to fall back into the same routine? I might have spent the night with Maverick and this morning… but they had a long way to go until I would fall back into their arms. I needed to be something more than a captive in their home with no power.
“I can make you,” he said quietly, his face serious. “Hell, I should have followed my first instinct and took you back home with us as soon as we found you. Fuck what Maverick said about giving you time.”
I tensed, wondering if he would do it now and cause a scene in the middle of the diner. Something about my face must have given him pause because he shook his head. “No, I’ll let you go back to that shitty place for now, angel. And when you’re ready, you’re going to come back home with me. Under my protection. You’re going to come to me willingly.”
It was hard to miss the dark promise in his voice, and I knew I should probably contradict him, but I thought he might be right about that. It wasn’t a question about whether I would go with them back to their home willingly, but when .
I looked back down at my food and cut my eggs into smaller pieces with my fork while Silas grabbed one of the bacon strips, taking a bite, his eyes never straying from mine.
Something about sitting here like this with him reminded me of our time back in New Orleans when he had shown up where I had been eating breakfast. How we’d come full circle, yet so much had changed.
I tried to focus back on my food. I had been starved before he arrived, but now, his gaze made me feel awkward. My movements felt forced, even when I was doing something as simple as eating. And Silas was silent beside me. He seemed relaxed, but then again, hardly anything ever made him feel uneasy.
I took a sip of my water and placed the fork down on the table when I didn’t think I could eat anymore. Silas took in all the food that was left, frowned, but didn’t say anything. I let him flag the waitress down and asked for a to-go box. And I let him put all my food in there, then in the plastic bag, tying it closed.
I let him do all of that for me without protest.
And when he stood up and held out his hand for me, I took it without hesitation. Silas dropped two one-hundred-dollar bills on the table, and then we were off.
We walked to the car Maverick left behind for me, and I looked around, wondering if this was where he left me to head back on my own. I both wanted that and not at all, at the same time.
I didn’t know what I wanted or what to say, but Silas made it simple by taking the decision out of my hands. I was close enough to the door that it unlocked when he pressed the small button on the car handle. He opened it and gently pushed me inside. He crouched down until we were face-to-face with each other, and my breath caught when our eyes met.
We didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. For four long seconds, it was just us, like this. And then I looked away, breaking the spell, and Silas cleared his throat.
“I can do that,” I said when he reached for my belt.
He clicked the belt in, the sound of it louder in my ears than I thought it should be. I jumped, and he shot me a small smile. “And now you don’t have to.”
I watched as he stood up to his full height and closed the door behind me, moving over to the hood of the car and getting into the driver’s seat.
And then we were off.
The short drive back to the motel room was made in silence.
I looked out the side window, and I could feel Silas looking over at me every once in a while. I fiddled with my hands the entire way there, and once he pulled into the parking lot and parked, all I could do was sit awkwardly and take in the dilapidated building. I always knew it wasn’t the best in the city and that the buildings were old and run down and filled with questionable people, but somehow, sitting in this car with him, the state of things came into clear focus.
“Thanks for breakfast,” I said quietly, politely.
“You’re welcome, angel.”
I nodded, feeling my heart react to the nickname uttered from his lips, in that deep voice of his.
“Thanks for driving me home,” I said softly.
I could see him turn toward me from the side of my eyes. I kept my gaze ahead. “Anything for you.”
I let out the shuddered breath I had been holding. “Anything?”
He grabbed my hand and held it between both of his, his palms warm, dry, and calloused.
I closed my eyes briefly from the feel of it.
“Anything,” he repeated firmly.
I nodded, pulling away. I still hadn’t looked at him, but somehow, I thought he might have appeared a little disappointed.
He opened his door when I opened mine. His long legs easily ate up the distance between us, and soon, I found myself standing close to him. I tilted my head back to look at him. He wasn’t as tall as Maverick, but he was tall and wide. Strong and capable. His strength and power were one of the very first things that drew me to him so relentlessly, and looking at him now, I realized I never even stood a chance. He set his sights on me and decided that I was his, and that was all there was to it.
There would have been no other outcome than for me to belong to him.
He cupped my cheek. I resisted the urge to burrow into his touch. “What’s with that look?”
I blinked. “What look?”
He shook his head. “Wistfulness.”
“Wistfulness?”
He nodded. “Yeah, baby. Wistfulness.”
I shrugged, not really knowing how to answer him. I looked past him to my motel room door. “I’m going to head back in.”
He looked like he wanted to say something. Probably to ask to come in with me, and with the way I was feeling at the moment, I might have said yes. And there was a part of me—a big part—that wanted him to ask.
He didn’t ask.
He nodded. “You go in and rest up a little, baby. You look tired.”
I probably did. Even if I had slept soundlessly last night, I was fighting on a week’s worth of fitful sleep that felt like anything but restful. Plus, I was pregnant. I thought I would be more tired than not in the coming weeks.
I was still disappointed that he wasn’t coming in with me.
I nodded. “Okay.”
He leaned down and pressed a hard kiss on my lips before I could say anything. I fell into him and closed my eyes, giving in to the kiss.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me tightly against him. I gasped into his mouth, and he wasted no time, dipping his tongue inside and deepening the kiss.
I moaned against him, taking in the taste of him. Fuck, it hadn’t been that long since I last kissed him, but how I had missed it, missed him.
So much so that tears burned my eyes.
Silas pulled away first. I tried to follow his lips with my own, but he held me back.
“Go back in the room, angel,” he whispered against my skin. “I don’t know if I can control myself if I kiss you again.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him not to. The words got stuck in my throat and never came out. I looked up into his warm brown eyes, paused, then nodded.
I walked away from him, resisting the urge to look back.
I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.
Once I was back inside the room, I locked the door and leaned against it, taking in the small space surrounding me.
I frowned when I found something on the dresser. Walking over to it, I reached out and grabbed the small black card in my hand.
It had my name on it.
And I was sure there was more money on this credit card than what most people make in their lifetime. I should probably resent all the money that they have and how giving me money was just another reminder that I needed them. I didn’t.
I didn’t even feel guilty for accepting this so quickly. It would make things easier for me, and I had already decided not to run anymore.
I put the card back and sat down on my bed, taking off my shoes and pulling my knees up to my chest.
Two down, only one left to go. Admittedly, Killian was the one I was most nervous about seeing again. He was unpredictable on a good day. I didn’t know how he would be after more than a week of me disappearing, and a part of me worried if he would even be anything, as if my absence hadn’t really affected him at all.
I blinked. I didn’t know how I would react if that was the case.
I closed my eyes and brought my fingers up to my lips, thinking about the kiss.
My lips still tingled, and all I could think of was that there was a small part of me that wished Silas had just given in to the urge and abducted me again.
I wouldn’t have to think about anything or decide anything if that were the case.