23. Mila
23
MILA
Something was wrong. I could feel it.
I wandered around the huge mansion. I was in it alone. All the guards were either in the guardhouse a small distance from the house or patrolling the property. None of them would have dared to enter the house with me in here, and though I was thankful for that, something about being completely alone right now did nothing to help with my nerves. Rachel had left for her home hours before.
It was worse when I was still trying to adjust to being back in this house.
To realize that I was essentially choosing to be here simply because I fell in love with the three savages of the Tiernan Syndicate.
And they weren’t home.
It wasn’t uncommon for them to come back to the house at odd hours of the night, sometimes together, but mostly not, yet there was just something about tonight that had me feeling on edge, and I didn’t know how to explain why that was. I looked at the clock once more, seeing it was nearing midnight. I should go to sleep. I was already in my sleep clothes and had already done my nightly routine.
It was probably nothing.
It also wasn’t practical for me to go out of my mind with worry every night that they were gone. I wasn’t in love with ordinary men. Their jobs posed more danger than most, and I knew if I made this a habit, I would probably work myself into an early grave.
Normally, I wouldn’t be so worried.
But tonight…
I sat on the couch in the living room and took in the lit fireplace nearby.
It wasn’t cold outside, but something about the lit firewood brought comfort to me, and with the shaky way I was feeling, I needed all the comfort I could get.
A commotion at the door caught my attention. My heart jumped when I heard the slam of the front door, followed by familiar angry male voices. Without thinking, I headed toward the noise.
Silas showed up in my line of sight first. Then Killian. It took a moment for me to make sense of what I was seeing: Maverick, clutching his side, hanging onto Killian.
I gasped, and all three men turned to me.
“Fuck,” Silas said under his breath. I still heard him. “What are you doing awake, Mila?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” I answered, my eyes focused intently on Maverick. Sweat covered his face, and though he was staring back at me with that signature impassiveness, I knew he was in pain. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Maverick said at the same time Killian answered, “A fucking ambush.”
I glared at Maverick.
“I’m fine. Go back to bed, little monster.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I never went to bed, and if you think I’m going to bed after seeing you like this, then you’re out of your goddamn mind.”
Maverick let out a small sigh as if he was tired of me. I ignored the hurt in my chest and rushed forward. I hovered close by, knowing I would be more of a hindrance if I tried to help, but hell, I really wanted to do something.
Killian took mercy on me. “Come on, let's bring him to his room. Can you get the door, little firecracker?”
I nodded and rushed ahead, opening the door. I fidgeted on my feet while Silas got in first, adjusting Maverick’s pillow before Killian helped Maverick down.
He looked bad. I didn’t think I had ever seen Maverick look this bad. His complexion was gray, and I knew he had to be in pain. He turned toward me briefly.
“Perhaps Mila shouldn’t be here,” Maverick said to Silas.
I held my ground. “I’m staying.”
“Mila—”
“I’m staying.”
Silas turned to Maverick, who nodded. I stayed near the bed, wringing my hands together. I still didn’t know how he got hurt. Killian said they were ambushed. Had Sebastian done something to them? Did Maverick get hurt because of me? My bottom lip trembled.
“Little monster.” His soft voice got me out of my turmoil.
I moved closer to him. “Do you need anything?”
“Yes.”
“What? Water? A new shirt?”
I was about to leave and grab him all those things when he stilled me with one hand wrapped around my wrist. I looked down at where we touched.
“I need you close by. Come sit with me.”
He patted the space next to him on the bed.
I hesitated. “You’re injured.”
“Yes, I know.”
“I might hurt you.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Impossible. Come sit with me. You make the pain feel more tolerable.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I climbed onto the bed, snuggling close to his uninjured side. Killian came back to the room with the first aid kit then. I hadn’t even realized he left. He set the kit down on the bed by Maverick's feet, frowning at me.
“Should she be here?” Killian asked.
I scowled at him. “I’m not so delicate that I might pass out over the sight of a little blood.”
“Don’t know about the little part, firecracker,” Killian responded.
Maverick spoke up then. “She’s staying. Let’s get this done and over with so Mila can go to bed.”
Killian grumbled something under his breath that I didn’t hear before opening the kit and turning to Maverick.
“Take off your jacket and shirt.”
Maverick pulled away from me to do as Killian asked, and I nearly protested, not wanting him so far away. Silas looked at me carefully, and I worked hard to control my expression. The last thing I needed was for them to tell me again that I shouldn’t be here. Or that I couldn’t handle it.
I looked away from him as he walked to the bathroom and then back to Maverick just as he pushed the white button-up shirt off his shoulders, revealing golden-tan skin—golden-tan skin that was currently covered in blood on one side.
I sucked in a sharp breath. I couldn’t even tell what the injury looked like, considering how much blood was there. “Are you sure he hasn’t lost too much blood?” I asked Killian.
Maverick answered me, “I haven’t lost too much blood. I still feel fine.”
He would have said he was fine even if he was bleeding out on the floor. That didn’t tell me anything. I turned to Killian.
“I don’t think so,” Killian answered me.
Not reassuring, but I nodded.
Silas returned then, a small bucket of water in one hand and several clean towels in the other. He set the bucket down on the floor and began to wet a couple of the towels, handing one over to me once he wrung it out. I grabbed it and began to clean Maverick. It took some time, but at least he wasn’t bleeding anymore. I winced as I tried to remove a bit of the dried blood surrounding the cut while Maverick was as still as a statue.
“Does this hurt?” I asked.
He shook his head.
Silas gave me a dry towel when I was finally able to get most of the blood away. And the more I revealed, the more I wanted to cry. The cut was a long vertical line from close to his armpit and straight down to near his hip bone. It was close to where his feather tattoo was, and touching it toward the end.
What could have caused a wound like this?
I moved away slightly when Killian bent down to get a closer look. “This needs stitching. I can do it, but there’s no numbing cream. We can call Dr. Lee?”
Maverick was already shaking his head before Killian finished. “Just stitch me up.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “It doesn’t make you a wimp to want the doctor to come by.”
Maverick smiled a little at me. “I’ll be fine. Why don’t you hold my hand while Killian stitches me up, yeah?”
I nodded, grabbing hold of his hand with both my own. “Yeah. I can do that.”
“Good. I’m sure I can withstand the worst imaginable pain possible with you holding my hand. What’s a mere stitching?”
I pouted. “Be serious.”
Maverick squeezed my hand. “I am.”
“Let’s get this started,” Killian said gruffly.
I bit the inside of my cheek as I watched Killian prepare. He had some of the same tools he had used when he tracked me. I turned away and buried my face into Maverick’s shoulder. The sight of it just reminded me of a memory I’d much rather not think about.
I peeked one eye open just as the needle pierced Maverick’s skin. I don’t think he even flinched from that. I did though.
I bit my lip and watched for a few minutes as Killian worked before it all got to be too much, and I looked away. Silas sat down on the bed next to me and silently rubbed my back.
How ridiculous. Maverick was the one who needed the stitching, but they were trying to comfort me. I knew I was the one squeezing Maverick’s hand, not the other way around.
“Almost done,” Maverick cooed.
I would laugh if I wasn’t busy thinking about how they were all so calm about this. They were used to it. There was that day Maverick came to my room with a bullet wound. It couldn’t be more than a month or two ago, even if the memory felt like a lifetime away.
And now this?
“Done,” Killian said. I looked up in time to see Killian wrapping Maverick’s side with medical gauze.
I blinked. That was fast.
“See, little monster. Nothing to worry about.”
Right. Easy for him to say.
I turned to Killian. “Will he be okay?”
Killian didn’t say anything for a moment. Just looked at me with that intense way of his that made me feel like he could see straight into my soul. “He will be. But why don’t you sleep with him tonight? You know, be there in case he needs one of us.”
I nodded. This was something I needed. A task to do. And there wasn’t a chance in hell I was leaving Maverick’s side.
“Great,” Silas said, standing up and helping me stand as well. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed? Killian and I will help Maverick, and by the time you come back, you can both go to bed.”
I bit my bottom lip, not really wanting to leave Maverick’s side.
Silas turned me around and slapped my butt playfully. I jumped a little, and he directed me out the door. It wasn’t until I was halfway back to my room that I realized I had been ready for bed hours before. But they probably wanted me out of the room to talk to Maverick. Perhaps about his injury, or how he got it, or even the men involved.
Whatever it was, I wasn’t happy to be left out.
But now wasn’t the time to fight them on it. I decided to change shirts. Then I brushed my hair and cleaned up the already-cleaned room. When I decided they had enough time, I walked back to Maverick’s room. Silas was helping him get into bed. I stood by the door, suddenly feeling unsure.
Maverick noticed me first. He opened his arm. I didn’t need to be asked twice. I walked over to him and carefully climbed onto the bed, tucking myself in close to his uninjured side.
He wrapped me tightly against him, leaning back and kissing my forehead.
Silas watched us for a beat. There was some unnamed emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t figure out, but he looked away from me before I could ask.
He walked around the bed, bent down, and planted a hard kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and savored the taste of him. He pulled away too quickly.
“Good night, angel.”
Without another word, he walked away. Killian returned from the bathroom then, staring after Silas’ retreating back. He frowned after the man before looking at Maverick. Letting out a sigh, he said, “I’ll talk to him.”
Maverick nodded.
I waited until the door closed behind us before turning to Maverick. “What was that about?”
“Silas is pissed at me,” Maverick answered.
I frowned. “Why?”
“Because I pushed him out of the way. That’s how I got the injury.”
My frown deepened. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
Maverick let out a small sigh, squeezing me to him. “Because he thinks I take too many risks. That I always place their lives above my own.”
I nodded, relaxing. I finally understood. I carefully rested my head on his chest, and he played with my hair. “And do you?” I asked. “Do you always take so many risks?”
“Baby, they’re my brothers. It’s my job to protect them. Just like it’s mine to protect you.”
“But do you think your life is somehow worth less than theirs? Than mine?”
He didn’t answer me. But his nonanswer was answer enough.
I leaned up and looked him in the eye. They were a soft blue. “Don’t you think you’re important too?”
“That doesn't have to do with anything.”
“Yes, it does. You’re important to me. And I know you’re important to Killian and Silas. They would be lost without you. I would be lost without you. What would I do if you keep taking risks?”
It was his turn to frown at me. “I’m not going to apologize for protecting my little brother.”
“I’m not asking you to. I just want you to see the importance of your life. To know that you matter too. That you’re not just here to play protector.”
He cupped my cheek. “I know that, little monster.”
“Do you?” My lips trembled. I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach.
His frown deepened as I kept his touch there, feeling my heart gallop in my chest.
“What would we do without you?”
For a moment, there was nothing but silence and a distinctive roaring in my ear. It wasn’t how I had planned to tell him, but fuck, couldn’t he see just how much I needed him?
“ We ?” he asked, his voice low.
I swallowed. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re—” He closed his eyes, almost as if he was in pain. “Fuck. You’re pregnant?”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I nodded. “Yes.”
“And I… Fuck. We’ve been so rough with you.” His eyes widened when he suddenly thought of something. “The fucker Killian drugged and tattooed you!”
I winced as his words got louder and louder until he was actually yelling at the end. I didn’t think I had ever seen Maverick so emotional. He made a move to get up, wincing when he pulled on his stitches. I placed both hands down on his chest and pushed him down. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“To get the doctor here. Fucking hell. Why didn't you say anything?”
I looked away from him, not really sure how to answer that. I could say it was because I was scared of their reactions, but I knew how ridiculous that sounded now, considering they had been purposely fucking me without a condom. Perhaps I was just waiting until I felt like I had more control over my life.
He cupped my cheek and turned my head until I was looking at him. “Baby?”
I shrugged.
“Fuck. I need to get the doctor here. And get you on prenatal vitamins. And doctor visits. And—fuck!”
Okay, so perhaps this wasn’t the right time to tell Maverick. I almost wished I could take the words back. And when the door opened and both Killian and Silas stood there, guns drawn and clear worry in their eyes, I really, really wished I could take it back.
“What the fuck happened?” Killian asked, looking around the room for the imaginary threat.
I looked at Maverick, hoping he could read my eyes and not say anything.
The fucker ignored me. “She’s pregnant.”
I looked down at my lap with the dead silence that followed.
Killian spoke first. “What?”
I could see him walking into the room from the corner of my eye. I pretended not to notice.
“Pregnant,” Maverick repeated. “Get the doctor. And let him know the drug you used on her. And tell him about the tattoo.”
Killian blanched over Maverick’s words and, without responding, walked out of there.
I turned to Maverick. “I’m fine, and the baby’s fine.”
“You don’t know that.”
I shook my head. “I would have felt it if something happened to the baby.”
“Don’t argue with me,” Maverick said harshly.
I let out a sigh. There was obviously no getting out of this. I might as well just let them fuss. Although Silas seemed to be taking this well. I looked at him, and he winked at me, making my heart flutter. I ignored his reaction and frowned at him. He shook his head but didn’t say anything. Huh. I thought I would get a stronger response from him.
Unless…
I looked away from him.
Killian came back to the room moments later. “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”
Then he climbed onto the bed and pulled me onto his lap, his hand covering my stomach.
“Killian?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
Did I break him?
Welp… this sucked.
Fifteen minutes later, Silas finally got a notification on his phone that the doctor had arrived. I nearly let out a sigh of relief. Silas looked at me for a beat before he left to let the doctor in.
Maverick was being possessive and wouldn’t let me move away from his side while Killian was pacing back and forth. I wouldn’t be surprised if he left holes in the carpet by the end of the night. The only one who acted normal was Silas, but he was gone, leaving me to deal with two men who took up so much energy from the room, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Movement from the open doorway caught my attention, and I turned toward it to see Silas walk in first, followed by a man I assumed was Dr. Lee. It took everything in me not to show my reaction on my face, but he was… like nothing I had expected.
For one thing, I had pictured an old man with bushy white eyebrows and equally white, unkempt hair.
Dr. Lee was young. Like maybe around Silas’ age or one or two years older. He was Caucasian, with skin only one shade or two darker than mine, curly blond hair, gray eyes, and very attractive.
Had I not been completely, hopelessly, helplessly in love with the Tiernan brothers, I might have turned stupid at the sight of him.
Dr. Lee looked at me briefly before directing his attention to Maverick, who was shirtless, his bare torso on display. “Do you need me to look at you? It looks like Killian already did a good job bandaging you up.”
Maverick shook his head. “Not me. Her .”
Again, the doctor barely met my eyes. It was almost as if he knew how possessive my men were. I actually didn’t doubt that. And I was getting tired of everyone speaking around me.
“Where is she hurt?” Dr. Lee asked.
“Not hurt,” Killian said, stepping forward. “Pregnant.”
Dr. Lee frowned, turning to Silas before he said, “Yes, I know. I have been conversing with Silas about her care.”
I blinked, not sure if I heard him right.
Beside me, Maverick tensed.
Killian spoke up first. “What?” He turned to Silas. “You knew?”
Silas shook his head. “I guessed. And I wasn’t sure if I was right, but I talked to him just in case.”
“And you didn’t think to tell us?” Maverick asked.
Silas shrugged. “If I was right, I wanted to make sure Mila would tell you when she was ready.”
That signature scowl was back on Killian’s face. “Are you fucking kidding me? You should have said something. We haven’t been treating her like she’s pregnant.”
I blushed, especially when I could see Dr. Lee shifting uncomfortably on his feet. Were they really doing this now?
“And I wouldn’t have let you get so far that you might accidentally hurt her or the baby,” Silas answered, sounding pissed.
“But there were times when you weren’t there,” Killian gritted.
“Can we please not talk about this now?” I said, trying to will the blush away. Hell, I would be happy if we never talked about it.
Both brothers ignored me.
Silas crossed his arms over his chest and leveled a glare at Killian. “You really think you would have lost control and hurt her?”
The way Killian clenched his fists from the question without answering gave me pause. I looked at Maverick. As usual, he seemed unaffected. I would have thought he wasn’t feeling anything at all had I not been pressed up against him.
He was still tense.
I rubbed his chest comfortingly, and he turned toward me, meeting my eyes. He frowned slightly as if he thought it was so ridiculous that I was trying to comfort him.
“What about the drug I gave her?” Killian finally said.
“I already asked him.” Silas turned to Dr. Lee. “He said it’s fine. It shouldn’t be harmful to the baby.”
“Is there something you would like me to do?” Dr. Lee asked.
Silas nodded. “She hasn’t had a checkup yet. I want you to check her vitals and take her blood. Put a rush on the results. I want to make sure everything is okay.”
Dr. Lee nodded and walked toward me. I knew I was going to be examined when Maverick freaked out earlier and demanded the doctor be called in, but it still didn’t stop my reaction. I flinched at the sight of his approach.
“Slowly,” Killian practically growled.
I wanted to apologize to the man on Killian’s behalf. It wasn’t the doctor’s fault I was so skittish around strangers. But the doctor didn’t seem put off by Killian’s warning.
“I’m sorry about that,” Dr. Lee said.
I looked down at the bedsheets. “It’s okay.”
“Is it okay if I have you sit near the edge of the bed while I take your blood pressure?”
I turned and looked at Maverick. He nodded encouragingly, and I carefully moved forward. Dr. Lee placed his bag on the floor and opened it.
I didn’t really pay attention to the examination. I was trying hard not to show how much it bothered me that someone was touching me, even from a medically professional standpoint. I couldn’t even remember the last time I saw a doctor for anything. It wasn’t like Dad had been all that concerned about my health. As long as I was able to move around, he considered that to be good. I grimaced and tried to shake away all thoughts of my dead father.
I had been able to keep my cool, that was, until he brought out the needle.
I would have jumped off the bed had Maverick not been so close. And the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him any more than he was already hurt.
“What is that for?” I asked.
Dr. Lee looked me directly in the eyes for the first time since he stepped foot into this room. His gray eyes were even more unnerving like this.
“To draw your blood for testing.”
I shook my head before he even finished the sentence. I turned to Maverick. “I don’t want to.”
He frowned at me, running his fingers gently down the side of my face. I resisted the urge to close my eyes from such simple contact with him. “Baby, I didn’t know you were afraid of needles.”
“Neither did I,” I muttered.
His frown deepened. “It’ll be quick. And you really won’t feel a thing.”
“Yeah, right. I know that trick.”
“What trick?” he asked.
“The one where you tell me it’s just a little pinch, but really it’s not, but by the time I figure that out, I’d already be in the middle of having my blood drawn and can’t stop it.”
Maverick’s lips twitched before Killian stepped into my line of sight. “Would it help if I held you, firecracker?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Yes, I thought it would help if he held me, but that sounded so… childish.
I was a grown woman. I should be able to get my blood drawn without making a fuss. My eyes moved over to Dr. Lee, but Killian gently grasped my chin and moved my attention back to him. “Don’t look at him. No one matters right now but you and me. And all you have to worry about is answering me honestly. Would you like me to hold you?”
I nodded slightly.
His shoulders relaxed, and he positioned me around until he was on the bed, and I was sitting on his lap, my chest pressed up against his. My cheeks heated from both the position we were in and with everyone looking at us.
I tilted my head back to stare up at Killian. He nodded at the doctor before turning his attention back to me. I flinched a little when I felt the needle piercing my skin. Closing my eyes, I buried my face in his chest, hating how this just reminded me of that time he’d tracked me.
I hated the memory, yet I was taking comfort in the man who had caused the memory in the first place.
“All done,” Dr. Lee said softly.
I didn’t bother looking up at any of them.
“Thank you,” Maverick said.
“Of course,” the doctor answered while packing up his things. “I’ll put a rush on this and call with the results. I recommend she see an obstetrician right away. I’ll have the blood results sent over to whichever doctor you choose to take her to so they can decide the best plan for her care.”
And with that, Dr. Lee left the room, leaving me alone with my three men.
No one said anything for a moment. I tightened my arms around Killian briefly until he spoke. “I think it’s time for bed. It’s been a tiring day.”
I reluctantly pulled away from the safety of his cocoon and looked around the room for the first time. All three men were staring at me, varying degrees of worry on their faces.
“I’m okay,” I said quietly. “Can I still sleep with Maverick tonight?”
I didn’t think I could have Maverick out of my line of sight anytime soon.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Maverick answered.
Killian gently placed me back on the bed, much more gentle than he had been with Maverick. I wondered what that said about me when he felt the need to treat me as if I was even more fragile than his injured brother.
I silently moved back to my side of the bed and close to Maverick’s side.
Killian stepped up until he was close enough. He reached out and traced the side of my face with one finger until he got to my lips, stopping there for a brief moment. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
With that, he left the room, and Silas took his place. He bent down and kissed me sweetly. I closed my eyes and savored the taste of him, wanting to prolong the kiss. He pulled away much too soon, and before I knew it, he also left the room, turning off the light and leaving Maverick and me lying there in the dark room.
Maverick pulled me into his arms.
“Are you sure this is okay with your injury?” I asked.
“It’s fine.”
“I still don’t know how you got injured. Was it… was it the remaining MC members? Was it Sebastian?”
“Baby, don’t think too much about it.”
“How could I not? What if… Sebastian won’t let me go? He’s too greedy, too power-hungry. We have to do something?—”
“Shh. It’s okay. Let’s not worry about that now.”
Not worry about it? He said it like it was an easy thing to do.
“But—”
“I mean it, Mila. I won’t have all that dark, nasty shit plague your mind.”
“I grew up in the clubhouse. Do you really think I can’t handle it?”
He squeezed me tighter to him. “Just because your piece of shit father didn’t protect you the way he should have doesn’t make it okay.”
“But—”
“Sleep.”
“You’ll have to tell me eventually,” I said. “You can’t keep me in the dark.”
He let out a small sigh as if I was annoying him. I slapped his uninjured arm, and he chuckled.
“Maverick.”
“I know, little monster. I’ll tell you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
I sighed, snuggled in closer to his side, and closed my eyes. I fell asleep pretty quickly after, but it was anything but peaceful. Nightmares plagued my subconscious, but I couldn’t remember what I had dreamed about when I woke.
How frustrating.