Emily
“Don’t look now, but here he comes. Before dinner is even served. I expected him to show up, but—” Lilith is cut off by Thayer’s arrival on my left.
He nods to the rest of the table and places his name card at the seat next to me. “I’m joining you. It appears Whitney and Miles’s neighbor, Elena, has allergies and needs to be near an air vent away from the flowers.”
I glance up. We’re sitting underneath a giant trestle that makes its way down the center of the ballroom.
“There are a lot of flowers,” says Tucker, Lilith’s date.
“Indeed.” Thayer takes Elena’s empty seat, the one next to mine. Because I came alone. “Emily, Lilith.” He nods and introduces himself to the other two couples at the table. Not that we’re a couple.
“You could have found somewhere else to sit,” Lilith practically growls.
“I don’t plan on taking your bestie away from you.
” He smiles. And it’s that smile that gets to me.
Because it’s so cocky and confident. The could-if-I-wanted-to is so implied I want to smack him.
Instead, I breathe in, hoping to get a scent of him.
Gardenias and roses are all that fill my disappointed, traitorous nose.
A server comes with a whiskey and places it in front of Thayer.
“Good job finding me.” Thayer winks at the woman.
“No problem at all,” she says.
“Can I get another one of these?” I hold my glass up. “Please.”
“Sure.” She takes it and pivots away through the tables. There’s a quartet playing, and the volume of chatter is loud enough I can’t hear what the couples across the table are talking about.
Lilith’s date whispers in her ear while she glares at Thayer. She leans forward, her head cocked. “So what have you been doing with your time? Kidnap anyone lately?”
I place my hand on top of hers. I love her, but I don’t need her to fight my battles. Though I love that she’s willing to. Whitney too. If I’d asked, she wouldn’t have invited Thayer. But I didn’t ask, and I know I’ll be lying in my bed later tonight wondering why the heck I didn’t.
Thayer laughs. It’s deep but not loud. He ignores Lilith’s question.
“What have you been doing? I didn’t think you lived in New York anymore.” There’s one side of me that says, If I knew you did, I’d have been looking for you, and the other side, That would have made me stay in Miami and never visit my dad again.
“I have an apartment here. But I spend most of my time in London. A little south of London, in the countryside.”
“No more time on the yacht?” Now I’m cocking my head like my friend. There’s a deep layer of history between my family and Thayer’s. His father got my now ex-stepmother tangled up in money laundering. And a scheme to kill my brother.
“James is using the Rosewood.” Thayer takes a sip of his drink and pulls himself closer to the table. And me. I used to love staring into his eyes, mesmerized by the brown flecks in his hazel eyes.
Interesting that he used his dad’s first name. “How is your father?” I reach for my drink, but I don’t have one.
“Would you like mine?” He holds out his whiskey glass.
When I wrap my fingers around it and take it from him, we’re both surprised.
My thumb rubs up against his pinky, and shockwaves of electricity shoot up my arm.
He lets go and I lift the glass to take a sip.
I pause, holding the glass to my mouth. Thayer’s eyes are locked on my lips.
I take a small sip at first, the sharpness and smoke hitting my taste buds. It’s a lot after my glass of champagne. Sharpness and smoke, like Thayer. I hand it back to him.
“Do you like it?” His eyebrow rises, and in the moment, I see the bit of young wonder he used to have.
“It’s okay. A bit bitter.” My eyes drop to his lips.
Servers arrive and, in a show of pageantry, serve the entire ballroom almost at once.
“Thank you,” I say.
Then I look over at Thayer’s plate. “What is that?”
“I’m guessing Elena is enjoying my steak right now, and I have no idea what this is.” He lifts his fork and takes a bite. “Lentil loaf. It’s not bad. How’s the steak?”
“Good.” I’m cutting off small bites. I don’t eat a lot of red meat, but places like this are known for meals like the one I have in front of me. “Would you like some?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
There’re so many things I’ve wanted to ask him over the last few years, but instead we eat surrounded by conversations.
By the time the dishes are cleared, Lilith has the couple next to her laughing about her lack of cooking skills.
The first dance finishes, and couples pour onto the dance floor. Tucker takes Lilith by the hand, but she stops and points her finger at Thayer. “No kidnapping. International law will not protect you from me.”
“Let’s go, Lil, leave them alone,” Tucker says.
Lilith rolls her eyes and heads away from the table. The other two couples have wandered away too.
“You can go dance.” I wave at the dance floor.
“I’m not much of a dancer. Not the way you used to be. Do you still like to dance?”
I close my eyes and have to wonder if he’s thinking about the same thing I am.
On one of the many full-mooned nights, we climbed the mountain behind the school.
We each had one of his earbuds attached to his first-generation iPhone.
He held me close as we swayed to a playlist of slow songs, all of which I still turn off the radio for. “I do.”
He stands and offers a hand. I stare into his eyes. Can I dance with the man who kidnapped my brother? Whose father tried to kill my brother and left me and a lot of other people in jeopardy? I’m about to shake my head when Lilith’s date taps my shoulder.
“Dance with me, Emily,” Tucker says. It’s an order and a plea. And then I see Lilith standing on the edge of the dance floor, like a stage mother doing the moves for their child.
Lilith’s right. I need to keep as far away from Thayer as possible. He’s my kryptonite. The one who’s sent me on a downward spiraling trend of picking the wrong guy over and over and over again.
“Thank you, Tucker.” I take his hand and walk out onto the dance floor, leaving Thayer standing next to my empty chair. I can’t look back. I don’t want to know what he looks like standing by himself. I shouldn’t care. But I do.
Tucker dances exactly as I expect him to—too close and off-beat.
But it’s a good thing he’s trying to save me from myself.
Which is always a lost cause. I look up, and Lilith is dancing with a tall dark-haired man.
From the smile on her face, I have a feeling that poor Tucker’s going to be going home alone, because he certainly isn’t going home with me.
The music changes into another slow song, and Elena, the flower-allergic lentil-lover, is standing behind Tucker. She taps his shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?” she asks me.
“Have fun,” I say to Tucker. I’m about to leave the dance floor when fingers loop around my wrist.
Thayer pulls me to his chest. His fingers intertwine with mine. “Dance with me, Em.” His other hand finds my hip before I can muster a yes. I’ve got my other hand on his sternum. I’d forgotten how tall he is.
“How much did you pay Elena?”
His laugh vibrates through my chest. “Pay her? Are you being presumptuous?”
I tilt my head up and stare at the underside of his square jaw. Now I can breathe him in. His aftershave isn’t floral, more cloves and citrus. “I suppose I am. But then, you didn’t have to dance with me.”
“Would you rather I left you on the dance floor by yourself?”
“Yes. You’ve always thought of yourself as a white knight, haven’t you?”
“I aim to do better. That’s the only thing I have control over.”
“How very noble of you.”
He moves us through the middle of the crowd to the edge of the dance floor. “I’m not noble, Em. I’m anything but,” he growls at me.
“What are you, then?” I don’t look up. It’s too much, staring into his eyes, being this close.
I have no control over my feelings for him.
I didn’t back in high school, and apparently not even now.
My heart races, and my skin tingles from his touch.
He could push me into a closet again and I’d willingly go.
Zero willpower. Thayer Zambrano is a giant cupcake.
Something I can’t possibly resist. I need to get away from him, and I need to get away now.
“Over here,” someone calls.
I look up, and there’s a bright flash of the photographer’s old school camera. I’m blinking when I turn back to Thayer. But he was staring at me the whole time.
“Emily, there are things in my life I wish I could do over. Change. And as much as I try, I’ve never once wished that we weren’t a thing in high school. Even as much suffering as it has caused.”
I blink up at him. “Well, I wish I could say the same.” It’s a deep cut.
It’s also not true, but I can’t let him think that he can cause my family so much heartache and get away with it.
“My dad had to come back from the death of his fiancée, her cheating on him, and then his ex-wife having laundered money through the company. It’s a miracle he didn’t end up in jail too. ”
“I know. And I’m sure that only goes to solidify that the Zambrano blood coursing through my veins can’t be fixed.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to correct what he said. To tell him he’s a good man. But I can’t. He’s not mine to fix.
The song ends, and I drop his hand and walk toward the table. I’m stopped along the way by friends I haven’t seen in a long time, and by the time I make it to the table, the last dance is happening back on the dance floor.
Lilith grabs my hand. “A bunch of us are going to a club in SoHo. You’re coming.”
“No.” I pull her in for a hug. “I’m going to go home. Dad will be waiting up for me.”
“You do know you’re not seventeen anymore.”
“Trust me, I know.”
“Okay, well, if you’re sure. I could find you a hot guy.” She raises her chin to Mr. Hot Dance Floor Man. Tucker’s nowhere to be seen.
“I’m good. I sort of have a boyfriend.”
“Oh, do tell. And by that, I mean call me tomorrow. Just not too early.” Lilith slips away.
“You have a boyfriend?” Thayer’s tone has dipped behind me.
I turn with certainty that I’m not entitled to. “Yes, in Miami.”
“And where is he now?”
“Miami.”
Thayer glowers at me. “If you were mine, I wouldn’t let anyone else touch you.”
“I was yours, and you didn’t seem to care.” I pivot and walk out of the ballroom, hoping to God that Dad’s car service driver is out there by the time I get there.