Anders
The lights are dim and the air conditioner’s off, but there’s a light, sticky breeze blowing in from the Miami harbor.
This week, because of fucking Ryder’s lame excuse, Emily’s put on an action movie.
One she clearly doesn’t like. Anytime someone gets shot, she flinches.
Or maybe I’m just mad because with each flinch, she moves closer to Ryder.
With each screech of a tire, she grabs at his arm.
I could have asked him out for a beer and had a talk.
Even though I was the one who told Emily I didn’t want to tell anyone, that it would change the dynamics of the group.
Which is no longer a group but just the three of us.
But Emily’s not the kind of girl you have a casual relationship with.
She’s the kind you crush on hard and take home to your parents.
Not that that’s an option for me anymore.
Beyond the screen, over the water, there’s a crack of lightning.
Emily sits up straight. “Is it raining?”
“Not yet.” It doesn’t rain much in Miami in February, but we do get a rogue storm every once in a while.
Ryder pauses the film, and we all meander over to the large window.
The sky lights up over and over. And I know the two of them have to be remembering the same thing I am: the fierce lightning storm that we were tossed about in while we were missing at sea.
It’s the bond that brought all of us together.
It’s how the others fit back in so seamlessly when they’re in town.
I’ve been offered my own boat. It’s what I wanted my entire life.
But I’m not sure I’m going to take it. The owner wants to anchor all over the world.
It would mean not being in Miami for six months at a time.
The day fishing charters I’ve been doing aren’t my dream, but they do get me home at night and here when I want to be.
Lightning crosses the sky, and I put my hand on Emily’s shoulder. She turns and smiles up at me. Things have been stilted since I turned down her invitation to go to the wedding with her. She hasn’t invited me over alone since then. And I get it. Or at least I get it now.
She puts her hand on top of mine, and my body relaxes until another flash zings in the night. Emily’s resting her head on Ryder’s shoulder.
I hold my resentment in. I’ve never been a jealous person. To be jealous, you’d have to care about someone enough. That hasn’t happened until now.
The glow of the television behind us becomes the only light as the storm moves off. But we all stand there for a few more minutes, watching the inky water. Those few weeks out on the water alone chained us to each other, and to time. I keep thinking I’ll get over it. It hasn’t happened yet.
My phone in my pocket buzzes. There are only a few numbers that I let do that, and two of them are right next to me.
I pull it out. “My sister. I need to take this.” I half jog down the hallway to the room Emily uses as an office.
It’s a laptop on a folding table. For the last two years, she’s been saying she’s going to get some real furniture.
But then she keeps working at the dining room table or in here on the shaky plastic table.
It’s where she had the command center set up when she was looking for her brother’s raft.
I sit in the desk chair and twirl it toward the window as I pick up.
“Hello, Angie, is everything okay?” She never calls me.
I’ll get a detailed email once a week that’s like a cross between a diary and a complaint sheet.
Dad thought the tree outside was a lion and somehow remembered how to use his phone and called 911.
He forgot to flush the toilet, and she had to spend a thousand dollars on a plumber.
And on rare occasions, he had a good day and told her a story about when he was a kid living in Juno.
“Yes and no.”
“Do you need me to come out there?”
“Why is the first thing you always jump to that I need rescuing? I do not indeed need rescuing. He’s okay. I’m okay. He’s out of the hospital.”
“What the hell, Ang! When was he in the hospital?”
“This afternoon. He stepped on a nail, and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. But then the blood made him upset and he . . . It doesn’t matter. I’m calling to tell you he’s fine. I thought you would want to know what happened.”
“Yes. How did he step on a nail outside, though?”
There’s a long pause. “Right. I hired help, and they were making him a sandwich and didn’t know you had to lock the side door, and he—”
“—decided he should go out to his workshop.”
“Yes.” She blows out a breath over the receiver.
“You called April?” That’s a dumb question because she always calls April first.
“Yes.”
“And you’re sure you don’t want me to come out there?”
“No. We’re fine.”
“You fired the girl who left the door open.”
“No, I didn’t fire her. Do you know how hard it is to find anyone willing to deal with someone like him?
He’s got zero executive function but the strength of someone forty years younger than he is.
It’s like dealing with a muscular toddler.
And I know there’s no way she’ll ever leave a door unlocked again. ”
“All right.”
I can hear her breathing again. “Anders . . .” The tone says there’s a bit of I’m not your mom but I’m going to act like it coming.
“Angie.”
“April said you were offered a position as captain of a big yacht. Why are you not taking it? Did you go to that therapist I found you?”
I should never have told my other sister. If you tell one of them, you’re telling both. “Yes, I saw the therapist. And yes, it was helpful. But I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.”
“Bullshit. That’s what you’ve wanted to do since the time I was changing your diaper.”
“Can you just not?”
“I can describe it for you. The color, the—”
“I’m going to go now.”
“Fine.”
“Angie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for taking care of Dad.”
That stops her. “Love you too.” She hangs up. I stare at the darkening screen.
The storms are done outside. It’s actually a little lighter than before we started the movie, so I don’t turn on the hall lights on my way back to the living room.
I step into the room to say something funny about my dad, but it’s lost when I see Ryder and Emily silhouetted against the window, her arms looped around his neck, his hand on the back of her head, their lips pressed against each other.
I close my eyes for a second, but they’re still kissing when I open them.
Rage pushes at my careful armor, and I want to race across the room and throw a punch at someone I consider a really good friend.
And for what? I didn’t define anything with Emily.
She’s free to kiss who she wants. She wanted to touch me and fuck.
I look back at them, but it crashes into me: I’ve hurt her too much by not going to the wedding with her. By not letting her tell people we were casually involved.
I pivot out of the room, count to ten, and turn the hall lights on.
When I’m six feet away from the door, I shout, “You won’t believe what April’s daughter did now.
” She’s sixteen and giving her mother so much grief.
I’ve got a selection of stories I can pull from.
I round the corner, and Emily’s moved over a cushion, leaving a gap between her and Ryder. “Show’s over,” I say.
“What?” Ryder pivots hard.
“You know, the storm. The storm’s over, nothing more to see. We can finish the movie.” I sit down next to Emily. There’s a long length of sofa between me and the arm. I twist and lie down, resting my head against her leg, and look up at her.
“I’ll be right back. Bathroom.” Ryder vanishes down the hall.
I squeeze my lips together, looking up at her. “We good? You want to talk about things?”
“We’re good. You didn’t want anyone to know. Non-exclusive, you said.”
I nod, and my hair rubs against her leg. I never said non-exclusive, but I never said exclusive either. “Whatever you need, Em.”
Her eyes narrow just for a beat. And yeah, that was totally the wrong thing to say.
Because what she needed was for me to be the good guy she’s never had.
Only, even with my external appearance, that’s not what I am.
I reach up and pull her neck down to me until her lips are on mine upside down.
Her kiss is soft and lasts long enough that Ryder might get the same view I just had.
It has me wanting to flip her around and do some other things to her on this sofa.
She breaks the kiss long before I would have and shakes her head at me.
“You, Anders Thompson, are an enigma I don’t understand. ”
“That’s me. An enigma. And you, Emily Rockwell, are a sizzling lightning bolt.”
“How’s April? And her daughter?”
“They’re both good. How was your dad?” I ask her.
“He’s not good. His assistant is keeping me updated about when he goes to see the new cardiologist. He may have to have surgery.”
“Damn. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” She nods, biting her lower lip. She does it when she’s nervous.
Her fingers are running through my hair when Ryder returns. He sits close to her on the other side and starts the movie back up. Not that I see much of it. Between being in the sun all morning on charter and the whiskey, I’m asleep after a few minutes.
“Hey.” Emily rocks my shoulder. “Do you want to sleep here?”
“Yes.” There’s a smirk on my face. I’ll sleep with her anytime.
“I mean on my sofa, goofy.”
I open my eyes. Clearly, Ryder is still here. “No, I should go home.” I drop my feet to the floor.
“You have a charter in the morning?” Ryder asks.
“No, I have the day off. Next week I will, though.”
“Oh, right.” Emily’s bright eyes land on me. “I can’t host next week. I’m going to London. I have to meet some donors for the organization.”
“That’s cool,” Ryder says, but his tone says it’s very not cool. And I get it.
“It will be mostly work. But I’m going to meet up with Oliver. I messaged him last week to see if he would be around. And it’s quite the coincidence that he said he had to do something for his dad in London.”
I raise my chin at Ryder because on this, we’re unified.
Oliver has been trying to get with Emily since even before Easton and them were found.
Every time someone like Shayla would mention it, Emily laughed it off.
She has to know and not want him, right?
Otherwise, who can compete with Oliver? Ryder, I’ve got a chance against. But Oliver? No way.
“It’s just a quick trip. I mean, I hate the carbon footprint, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ll be back on Sunday morning. We could get together on Sunday night.”
“That works for me,” Ryder’s quick to say.
I have a charter on Sunday morning. But I’m going to work like hell to see if I can get the other charter captain to take it. “I might have to work, but I’ll see what I can do.”