Chapter 12
Why did I listen to August? Being stuck on horseback with a woman who I’m trying my damndest to make leave is a terrible idea. Getting to know her, letting her know me, and being nice is the opposite of what I need to do.
And yet, August’s harsh words this morning after Belle dropped off coffee echoed in my mind while I was trying to juggle bills to the point that I couldn’t focus.
“You got your start here because Dawn took a chance on you. She welcomed you in and treated you like family, even though you knew nothing about what it takes to run a ranch. I’m sure she was stressed like you are now, having to figure out how to handle the place on her own after her son moved away.
But that didn’t change who she was at her core—a kind, hopeful woman who saw the best in people.
So why are you treating this poor girl like dirt when it’s clear she’s not here to make trouble?
What makes her any different from you when you arrived at Taurus Ranch? ”
I didn’t have an answer for him. I glared at him and stormed off to the office like a petulant child.
Sure, I was in more dire straits when I landed on Dawn’s doorstep than Belle is, but August is right.
Dawn never would’ve turned Belle away or tried to scare her off because she’s an inconvenience.
She would’ve offered her a good meal and introduced her to life here on the ranch with patience and humor.
She’d be ashamed of the way I’m acting.
I don’t have an answer that justifies my behavior other than I’m a coward who is letting stress get the best of me.
Or worse, a sexist asshole. I’d like to think that if Belle were a man, I’d have reacted the same way to his presence, but who knows?
Maybe all the bullshit my father spewed about women when I was growing up is still festering inside me, tainting my actions.
The problem is, I don’t know how to stop seeing Belle as a threat.
Because, unlike when I arrived, she holds power.
She could destroy this place if she got it in her mind to.
Force my hand into selling the place off if she decides it’s too much of a money pit.
You’d think that would make me want to play nice and do whatever I can to get on her good side, but that’s not in my nature.
I’m not a charmer, and I’d make a fool of myself if I attempted to be.
Which is why I’m kicking myself as I climb onto Astra, situating myself behind a trembling Belle. She’s terrified, and I’m a bastard for asking her to do something like this.
“Are you sure she’s okay with both of us on her? It’s not hurting her?” Belle asks for the third time, her voice shaking.
“It’s fine. Your weight is nothing compared to mine.” I pat Astra’s side, silently thanking her for being so calm and steady despite Belle’s clear terror. “My girl can take it. Especially since we’re going for a nice, easy walk.”
“O-okay.” Belle’s entire body is stiff, bracing for the worst.
“Okay if I touch you?” It feels silly to ask since my thighs bracket hers, and her backside sits snug against my groin. Which I’m definitely ignoring because if I think about that too much, I’m going to make this experience even worse for both of us.
“What?” Belle’s reply is breathy, and she tries to turn over her shoulder to look at me.
God, she needs to not sound like that.
I clear my throat. “To help get you in the right posture,” I clarify.
“O-oh. Okay. Yeah. It’s fine. Anything that will keep me from winding up falling headfirst into a ditch. We’re so high up that I’d probably end up busting my head open and then you’d have to deal with another dead Brooks woman. Oh god, sorry, that’s morbid. I’m fine. You can touch me.”
Her nervous rambling makes me smile. “You’ve got a helmet on.”
“Yeah, okay, so maybe I won’t split my skull open, but I’d definitely break something if I fall.”
“Not gonna let that happen. Are we Astra?” My horse lets out a soft huff at the sound of her name, and I hope Belle takes it as a sign of her agreement.
I tentatively place a hand on Belle’s stomach, lightly resting my palm there. She reflexively tightens her abs, her breath hitching.
“This okay?” I ask, hating that my touching her makes her so uncomfortable. I get that it’s weird after I’ve been such a jerk to her, but it still rankles me.
She nods. “It’s fine, just please don’t comment on my lack of abs. I’ve seen yours, so I know how out of shape I am by comparison.”
“I don’t give a shit if you have abs or not,” I huff, annoyed that she’s even worried about it. Her soft stomach feels good underneath my hand. Not that I should notice that kind of thing.
Belle’s laughter vibrates against me. “Alright then.”
“You’re going to want to stay engaged here and keep your posture straight. But not stiff. Take a deep breath with me.”
I inhale, and she follows suit. We exhale together, and her shoulders fall a little from where they were raised toward her ears.
“Good. Now, all you need to do for me is keep your posture good and your legs hugged against Astra’s sides. I’ll take care of the rest, alright?”
Belle takes in another deep breath and lets out a heavy exhale. “Okay. I can do that. I can do this.”
“Yes, you can. You’ve already done the hard part, which is getting up on the horse. So try to relax a little and maybe have some fun. If you can.”
She laughs again, this time the sound a little less tense. “I’ll try, but no guarantees.”
I can see a bit of her expression over her shoulder, and it’s a mix of grit and nerves. I respect the hell out of her willingness to do this.
Reins in hand, I ease Astra into a walk.
Belle lets out a small squeak when we start moving, but after a few seconds giggles. “I’m riding a horse!”
The surprised delight in her voice makes my chest squeeze. “Yes, you are.”
I guide Astra from the corral, turning left at the trailhead to take the path toward the pond. It’ll look pretty this time of day, even if the small dock out there has seen better days.
Aside from some small nervous sounds and her breathing, Belle stays silent as we ride. I focus on where we’re headed, doing my best to ignore how her hips rock into mine with each step. The wind picks up, rustling through the trees, and Belle lets out a soft sigh.
“This is kind of nice,” she murmurs. “I’m not really a nature girl, but I can see the appeal.”
“The woman who wears rhinestone jumpsuits and shrieks when she touches a bug is not a nature girl? I never would’ve guessed.”
“Hey!” Belle huffs. “That caterpillar surprised me. I can’t help that I have a strong startle reflex.”
I laugh at her indignance.
Belle gasps.
My hand immediately braces against her stomach. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“You laughed.”
I roll my eyes, my grip on her easing. “I laugh all the time.”
“Not around me. You only ever do that derisive little huff, or you hold it in like you have a constipated sense of humor.”
That’s probably true. “Well… maybe if you were funnier, then I’d laugh more.”
Belle scoffs. “I have it on good authority that I’m hilarious and an all-around delight. It’s not a problem on my end, cowboy.”
“Hmph. If that ‘authority’ is Remy and Wylie, you should know that they’ll laugh at anything if the person saying it is cute,” I tease back.
Belle pauses for a moment, and I wonder if maybe we’re not in a place yet for jokes. Her lips twist into a wry smile as I glance down to make sure she’s not upset.
“So…you’re saying I’m cute.”
“What? No, I’m not.”
Belle laughs. “You just said they’ll laugh at anything if someone cute says it. Ergo, I’m cute.”
“To horny young minotaurs, not me!”
“Ah, okay. Got it. You’re too old to think I’m cute.”
“That’s not… I’m not that old.”
“Sure you aren’t,” she says drolly, laughing when I let out a disgruntled sound of annoyance.
The thing is, I’m not actually annoyed. Yeah, I don’t want Belle to think I’m attracted to her because it would only make things more awkward between us if I acknowledge it. But this back and forth is fun. I like her teasing me.
Shit, that’s even worse than thinking she’s objectively pretty and smells nice and feels good against me.
“Alright, fine. You’re funny,” I admit, hoping it’ll draw the conversation away from her level of cuteness.
“Hah, told you. I’ll wear you down with my charms, eventually.”
That’s what I’m afraid of.
The thought hits me like an arrow to the chest. I’m not only worried about giving Belle a chance because of what she could do to the ranch if she decides this was a temporary distraction. I’m worried about what giving her a chance only to have her leave will do to me.
I hum noncommittally. “We’ll see.”
We spend the rest of the ride talking about the trails and various sights we pass.
Belle didn’t know there was such a cute pond on our property and says that it would be a perfect spot to cool off in the summer months, but that we’d need to fix up the tiny boathouse so guests could get changed in there without fear of spiders falling in their hair.
She marvels at the view of the mountains from the cluster of cabins that we’ve kept shuttered the past few years, saying that they’d be great for couples on romantic getaways.
She’s so busy talking that I think she forgets to be scared that she’s on Astra, and by the time we’re back at the stables, there’s no sign of her fear when I help her dismount.
Meanwhile, my head is abuzz with a tangle of thoughts.
Appreciation for her noticing the potential the ranch holds, but defensiveness about the state of things.
Annoyance that she makes suggestions without grounding them in our financial reality.
Arousal from spending so long with her body against mine, her sweet scent filling my nostrils every time I breathed.
I need to get away from her before I do something stupid like chew her out for being na?ve and too optimistic. Or tell her just how damn pretty and clever I actually think she is.
“Well, I should get Astra settled and get back to work.”
Belle nods, her eyes sparkling and cheeks pink from the ride. “Okay! Thank you for the ride. I had a nice time.”
“No problem.”
She hesitates, chewing her lip, and I want to reach out and pull it free from her teeth. I turn away so I stop thinking about Belle and her damn lips.
“Cal?”
I turn back, letting out a huff of frustration. “Yeah?”
Her smile flickers for a moment, but sets back into place almost as quickly. “Would you go to dinner with me?”
I blink at her, taken aback by the question.
“Not like a date!” She shakes her head and lets out a forced laugh. “Just, uh, a business dinner? I know you’re unsure of my intentions, and I think it’d be good for us to take some time to talk things through.”
My instinct is to tell her that I don’t have time for dinner, but August’s words are back in my mind, guilt and shame bubbling up to overpower my reticence.
“Alright.”
Her eyes widen a touch, brows lifting. “Yeah?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“That’s the resounding enthusiasm a girl hopes for when she asks a guy to dinner,” she says drolly, but her grin widens. “Tomorrow night work for you? We could go while we’re in town to pick up my car.”
Shit, I offered to do that with her, didn’t I? So much for pushing dinner off and hoping she forgets.
“Sounds good,” I say gruffly.
“Perfect! Alright, well, I’ll let you get back to things. Maybe I’ll see you at lunch?”
I shake my head. “Got too much to do. Besides, I’m sure you’re sick of me after that ride.”
Her smile dims. She isn’t disappointed about not spending more time with my grumpy ass, is she? “True! See you later, Cal.” She chuckles and heads off, and as always, I fail not to stare at her ass as she goes.
My cock twitches in my jeans, and I groan.
I need to get a hold of myself. Cut off whatever this nonsense is that I feel when I’m with Belle.
I don’t really want her. It’s been a long time, and she’s an attractive woman. That’s all it is.
My stomach sinks as I lie to myself, knowing how screwed I’ll be if I don’t nip this foolish crush in the bud.