Chapter 26
The only good thing about being so damn busy this weekend is that it means less time to focus on how I fucked up with Belle. Every time I see her, there’s a sick, twisting guilt in my gut, accompanied by the need to pull her into my arms and hold her until she realizes I didn’t mean to be an ass.
I’m sure she’d smack me if I tried that.
I don’t blame her. I’ve been a right ass to Belle, and I keep sticking my hoof in my mouth when I should be quiet.
Not that it’s an excuse, but I’m as put off by my behavior as she is. I’ve never been the jealous type. Never judged a woman for flirting or who she does or doesn’t pursue. This hot, prickly feeling I get all over when I see Belle talking to other guys is new, and it’s driving me crazy.
I don’t want to be a jealous dick. Especially not when there’s nothing to be jealous of because we agreed nothing can happen between us.
So I do my best to focus on what matters.
Making our guests have a good time and doing everything I can to show Taurus Ranch in the best light.
I ignore how every time Belle laughs and I’m not a part of the conversation, I’m jealous that it’s not me amusing her.
I don’t let my gaze linger on her supple body in those tight sparkly outfits she wears.
I do my best to pretend Belle doesn’t even exist.
Thankfully, the sunny weather has dried up the mud enough that by Saturday afternoon, the trails are okay to ride on. While it’d typically be Dutch and Wylie’s purview, I take charge of leading as many trail rides as I can, knowing that Belle won’t be around for them.
That turns out to be a mistake because on the final ride before the weekend guests check out, there Belle is in all her pink, far too pretty glory, accompanied by the married couple I’d accused her of flirting with.
It’s too late for me to back out and have Wylie lead the trail ride, because I already told him I’d handle it.
He’s out on an ATV ride with the guest he’s sweet on so she can get some photos of the pond for her blog.
I consider trying to find Dutch, but he’s been a bit MIA this weekend, dealing with something involving his long-distance boyfriend. I’m guilty about not being aware that he even had a serious partner until Belle told me about him, so I haven’t had it in me to tell him off for slacking on the job.
No, I can handle this.
Worry spikes inside me as Belle approaches Undertaker and holds a treat out to him. Bless that horse, he’s so gentle and sweet with her that I don’t have to panic at the thought of her riding without my direct supervision.
When I find out that Belle was actually the one who convinced the travel vlogging guys to try out a ride despite their nerves, my agitation lessens.
It’s replaced with a proud sensation in my chest as Belle teaches them how to interact with a horse before I have a chance to start my usual spiel.
She’s come so far from her terrified reaction to Undertaker.
She’s still nervous, but smiling, and the urge to hug her rises so strong that I have to turn away.
I ride behind the group to make sure that everyone is doing alright, and Belle takes the lead, looking every bit the competent cowgirl in her hot pink hat and boots.
I forget to be worried or jealous or tense as the ride progresses, my pleasure at seeing Belle riding Undertaker and having fun on horseback too potent.
By the time we’re back at the stables and finished untacking the horses—which she’s done the bulk of without fear, my heart is so full of admiration for this brave, beautiful woman that I can’t stop watching her.
Belle frowns when she catches me staring, and once she’s waved off the husbands, telling them she’ll meet them back in the lobby to say goodbye before they check out, she glares at me.
“Got something to say again?”
“No, ma’am.” I should leave it at that, but I can’t. “Other than that, I’m proud of you.”
Her frown deepens, a little line forming between her brows that I want to smooth away with my thumb. “Proud? About what?”
“Everything,” I admit, with far too much affection in my voice than is appropriate.
When she glares at me blankly, I continue with a soft exhale. “You rode Undertaker and took care of him without missing a beat. You were scared to even go near a horse, and now you’re leading a trail ride.”
“Yeah, well, turns out I’m capable of doing things without your help,” she replies flippantly.
I take a step closer. Not close enough to reach out and touch her, though, because that would spell disaster the moment she tipped her head back to meet my eyes. “I know that.”
“Do you?” she huffs, though there’s less bite to her tone.
“Yes.” I struggle for a moment to find the right words, terrified that I’ll say something foolish and unintentionally rude again.
“Belle, this weekend was a success because of you. You made this happen. And I’m sorry, truly from the bottom of my stubborn, prickly heart, that I ever acted like you were incapable.
You might be the most capable person I’ve ever met. ”
The defensiveness melts from her face, and in its place is something much more vulnerable. Yearning.
Fuck, she can’t look at me like that.
She must have the same thought because her expression shutters and she nods. “Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.”
“Don’t appreciate it too much, because now that I know how good you are at this, I’m going to drive you crazy with my thoughts about keeping this weekend’s momentum going.”
Belle huffs out a laugh. “Not as much as I’ll bug you with all my ideas. Speaking of which…want to talk next steps once the staff debrief is done tonight?”
“Absolutely. I was going to ask the same thing, but I didn’t want to…” I stop myself before I bring up the tension between us.
“It’s fine.” Her smile is tight. “We’re fine. Or we will be once we both get back to focusing on what’s important.”
I nod, though there’s a willful part of my heart that shouts at me she’s what’s important. “Good. And again, I’m sorry for my behavior. It won’t happen again.”
Belle’s lips curve into a lopsided smirk that is much more genuine. “Better not, cowboy. I need to be able to talk to a guy without you thinking I’m five seconds from hopping on their dick. Not that it’s any of your business, but come on. Do you really think I’d do that?”
A snort bursts out of me at her colorful language. “No. I know you only have room in your heart for one cock.”
Belle’s eyes go comically wide, and I realize a second too late that my joke could be misinterpreted. Especially after she saw me… “Doodle! I meant, Doodle. Goddammit, sorry.” I scrub a hand across my face in embarrassment.
She laughs. “Ah. Of course. Doodle.”
“You’re the one who is always calling him a cock!” I huff, ears flicking with embarrassment. “Forget I said anything.”
Belle sobers and nods. “Alright. But you’re right. Doodle is my cock soul mate.”
I groan, which makes her laugh again, and it feels amazing to be the source of her mirth.
If all I’m allowed to do is make her laugh, then I’m going to make it my life’s mission to hear that sound every damn day.
“We should close.”
I gape at Belle, pushing up from the filing cabinet I’m leaning on. “What? We’re not going to close! We’re finally getting some bookings.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Easy there, cowboy. Before you get your panties in a bunch, hear me out.”
“I don’t wear panties,” I grumble.
Her eyes drop to my crotch for a split-second before looking back up at me with a sigh. “It’s an expression. Quit being difficult and listen.”
I force myself to relax and be quiet, which makes Belle’s lips twitch.
“As things are, we’re only able to book out a fraction of the total rooms available on the ranch. We’re missing out on higher-paying customers by only offering rooms in the lodge. We need to open up the cabins, and those need more extensive renovations.”
“That makes no sense,” I say, shaking my head.
Belle opens her mouth to argue, but I continue.
“I agree we need to get the cabins back into shape, but why close the whole place to do that? We can stagger the renovations, and guests can still stay in the lodge. That will give us a revenue stream to fund things.”
“I get that. On the surface, that’s the right choice, but adding more rooms also makes our lack of activities and amenities more blatant.
The guest surveys made it clear that they loved the location and the staff, but almost all of them wished there were more offerings.
And I agree with them. There’s only so many trail rides, chicken petting, and s’mores eating you can do before you get bored.
It was fine for weekend guests, but what about ones that stay for a full week? ”
She’s not wrong, but all I can think of is a bright red negative number with a dollar sign beside it that increases with everything she mentions.
“So you want us to close everything down and have no source of money coming in aside from what we make from the goats and chickens, and do an overhaul of the whole place? That sounds like a one-way ticket to bankruptcy.”
Belle sighs. “I want us to close for a bit, fix everything up, and then have a grand reopening. I want time to build even more buzz and have the place completely booked out for the summer and fall, instead of having people come now and be disappointed and interest die off before we can properly capitalize on it. This weekend proved that the potential is there. The question is whether we’re brave enough to invest in that potential. ”
Her eyes shine with conviction, and I want to go with her on this, but all I feel is dread. The fear of failure and letting everyone down, losing the place I call home, destroying Dawn’s legacy…
“Belle, if we do this and it doesn’t work…that’s it. There’s no coming back from that kind of investment that doesn’t pay off.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to take a risk and fail than limp along until we can’t keep going? To know that you gave something your all rather than regret not trying?”
I swallow hard. She’s right. She’s right, and I’m a coward because all I can think of is my fear of failure.
She stands and crosses the cramped office, reaching out and taking my hand in hers. “I already told you. If the ranch fails, you won’t be alone.” She squeezes my hand, a wave of comfort radiating from where her smooth, warm skin touches mine. “We can do this, Cal.”
Focusing on where we’re connected, on how Dawn brought Belle into my life because she knew how much good she could do, on how special and important this woman has become to me in a short amount of time, I force back the terror.
My stomach roils like I might be sick from the churning fears and doubts.
“Alright. Let’s do it.”