Chapter 27
After spending a little time with Roxy and my family, she and I headed to my cabin for a little girl time. As we settled into the small sofa, she sighed as she began tapping out a text message.
“Is that Dean again?” I asked. All I knew of Dean, aside from MAIMD’s music, was that he was a good-looking guy who couldn’t keep his eyes off Roxy.
But apparently there was more to it.
“Yeah.” After she sent the text, she looked up at me. “I’m gonna have to break up with him.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s way too possessive. Like today. When Zack and I practiced walking down the aisle, I had to hear about it on the drive to the restaurant. He said shit like ‘You gonna leave me for him?’ and ‘I saw the way you were lookin’ at him.’ Just way over the top bullshit.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah, he’s just…too much. When we first started dating, he’d get all jealous when a guy looked at me twice—but I didn’t think much about it…until he started accusing me of cheating on him and shit like that. I don’t need that shit.”
“No kidding.” I frowned. “Can I do anything?”
“You’re doing it right now, doll.”
“Do you want a drink? I was thinking about getting a bottle of white wine—just to calm my nerves.”
Roxy laughed. “An entire bottle? Yeah, that’ll calm ‘em for a while. But, no, I’m good. If I drink, I won’t be able to handle Dean.”
My mind darted way back to one of my first memories—of my father getting rough with my mom while I hid behind a recliner in the living room. He’d hit her and it hadn’t been the first time. “Has he ever…hurt you?”
“No. I mean, he’s grabbed my arm a little rough but no punching or choking or anything like that. But I do know that shit can escalate and I’m not going to let it happen. After the wedding’s over, we’re through.”
“Maybe you should wait till you’re home.”
“No way.”
“Won’t that make for an awkward trip back?”
Roxy laughed. “Nope. MAIMD has some charity show the day after tomorrow, so Dean flew into DIA, then took a small plane to the airport in Buena Vista—and they even had a rental car for him. So I’m not waiting.
After tonight, we’re done.” When her phone buzzed again, she rolled her eyes.
“He’s ridiculous. He’s not saying it, but I know he’s jealous that I want to spend time alone with you. ”
“What did he say?”
“He just asked what we’re doing.” She tapped a short message on her phone and sent it.
“I told him we’re talking.” After shifting on the sofa to pull her feet up underneath her, she continued.
“I tried joking one time about something like that. I was supposed to interview Zakk Wylde—but before I left to go to the venue, Dean asked if I was going to sleep with him.”
“What?”
“Yeah—of all people. Everyone knows Zakk, even after all these years, is still head over heels for his wife and their kids. But that’s beside the point.
When Dean asked that, I said, ‘Yeah, that’s how I get the best interviews, don’t you know?
’ And he lost his shit. He wouldn’t let me leave, even though I told him I was just kidding.
I wound up having to call my boss and lie to him, telling him I was throwing up and couldn’t make the interview.
He wound up sending someone else in my place—and I was bummed.
Zakk’s a legend and I’ve never had the chance to interview him. ”
“Well…hopefully you’ll get a chance some other time.”
“Yeah, but that’s the kind of shit Dean’s been doing and I’ve…I’ve noticed myself kind of cowing to him. I hate that. I cow to no one—but he’s figured out how to get under my skin.”
“I’m so glad you’re leaving him,” I said, leaning over and pulling my dear friend into a hug. “If you need me to do anything, just say the word.”
“D, you’re getting ready to go on a honeymoon. What kind of asshole friend would I be if I demanded you stick around for me?”
“You aren’t an asshole, Rox. Dean’s the asshole.”
“I wish I had a guy like Braden. He knows how to treat a woman right.”
I nodded. “He has been very good to me.”
“I hate to ask this,” Roxy said, pulling her hair over her shoulders, “especially on the eve of your wedding, but…”
I remembered our conversation about settling—and how Zack and Braden were two different men: Zack was the fire while Braden was warmth. Zack was consuming while Braden was like a comforting blanket. I hadn’t forgotten the comparison—because it felt true.
“Braden and I will be happy,” I said, nodding my head, but I didn’t know if it was to reassure her or myself.
“Okay. Sorry to bring it up.” She looked down at her phone. “Jesus Christ.” Letting out another weary sigh, she said, “Are you okay if I go? He’s not gonna leave me alone if I don’t.”
“Yeah—but will you be okay?”
“Yes. In fact, going to the room and fucking him will shut him up for a while—unless he accuses me of thinking about Zack while I’m doing it.”
“Zakk Wylde or Zack Ryan?”
At that, Roxy stood and started laughing. “Knowing Dean? He’d probably imagine I was thinking about a threesome.”
Standing, I gave my friend a hug again. “Please call if you need me. You can always crash here. I don’t need an entire double bed.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.” Ending the hug, she held my shoulders. “You need to get your beauty sleep.”
Little did I know at the time, I wouldn’t be doing much sleeping that night.
It was barely after eight o’clock after I got out of the tub. I’d enjoyed a hot bath, hoping it would relax my muscles and calm my nerves but as soon as I got out of the tub and my skin turned gooseflesh-y, I was wide awake.
Fortunately, I had my e-reader with me because it would be the best way to take a lot of books on my honeymoon.
I imagined Braden and I would spend hours on the beach, and I’d be able to read a few books I’d been dying to get lost in.
After putting on a t-shirt and PJ bottoms, I combed out my hair and then found an extra blanket in the closet.
I curled up on the sofa, wrapping up in the blanket, and started scrolling through the book covers on my device.
And then there was a knock at the door.
I didn’t hesitate, because I was sure it was Roxy.
As I pulled the blanket off my lap, I shouted, “Be right there.” I imagined we were going to have to ask the male members of our group to threaten that asshole within an inch of his life—especially if he hurt her.
And I certainly wouldn’t let him attend the wedding.
But when I opened the door, it wasn’t that best friend. It was my other best friend.
Zack.
And he looked miserable.
“Zack? What are you doing here?”
“I, um…I needed someone to talk to.”
Right now? “Uh…what about one of the guys?”
“They’re the problem. They’re drinking and I…had to get away from it.”
Oh, God. Okay. I understood. “Oh. Uh, come in,” I said, pulling the door open.
The Zack of old, the guy I liked to think of as Cocky Rock Star Zack, he would have joined in the revelry, convincing himself that he could handle the alcohol.
And what I was sure was making it twice as bad was he was isolated from Braden and Cy, his two best male friends, because they were the ones drinking.
Add to it, his mother wouldn’t be here until the morning.
He was all alone.
“I’m really sorry to do this to you. I—I’ve been walking around town trying to get my fucking head on straight. The lakes—they’re really pretty under the moonlight. But it’s fuckin’ cold out there and I only brought a jacket.”
“I have a blanket here if you—”
“No, thanks. I think the cold kind of helped—but I haven’t been sober long enough to be able to be around that shit, and the thoughts that keep swirling in my mind over and over…”
“You did the right thing, Zack. You left.”
“Yeah, but…”
I put a hand on his arm. “Why don’t you sit down? I was thinking about making some hot tea. I can make some for both of us.”
“Yeah, okay.”
He followed me into the tiny kitchenette while I searched around for the kettle.
I knew I’d seen it in one of the cabinets—and, lo and behold, the tea packets were next to it.
As I filled the kettle with water, we were silent.
Once I got it on the stove, I sat at the table next to Zack.
He was staring at the tabletop as if lost in thought.
“Can I tell you something?”
I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
“I feel…overwhelmed. And, uh, I came here because you have always seemed to be the one person on this whole Goddamned planet who could see right through me.” Looking up, he nearly pierced me with the intensity of his sharp green eyes.
“You know me better than anyone else, Dani…and so I knew you were the person I needed to talk to. You’re the only person I knew I could talk to without resorting to lying. ”
Unable to stop it, my eyes filled with tears—but they didn’t spill. They simply made it hard to see Zack clearly. “I’m here.” I blinked, trying to get my own emotions under control, and gave a short nod.
Zack let out a long breath, looking at the table again. He searched its surface as if trying to interpret an ancient text. Finally, he looked at me again, licking his lower lip. But it was his eyes that killed me—in them I could see doubt, fear, and…something else.
“This is, like, the worst possible time. I know. I’m not here to fuck anything up—and if you want me to leave, just say the word.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not asking you for a thing. I just…couldn’t carry this load by myself right now. I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
Again, my heart wrenched. Oh, Zack. Why hadn’t he been able to be this open when I’d needed him to be?