Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
“SHOW ME THE RING AGAIN,” MATT’S MOM SAID OVER FaceTime.
After a celebratory dinner, Emma’s family had departed for the night, leaving both Emma and a half-eaten gift basket behind. As soon as they were gone, Emma suggested calling Matt’s parents and he lit up at the idea.
They had now been on a group call with his entire family, nieces and nephews included, for over an hour. Emma’s cheeks hurt from trying to maintain a smile. Apparently, Matt’s family wasn’t just aware of her; they were impressed by her traditional family-based values—something Emma never realized she had, as a progressive Jewish therapist from LA.
“It is stunning,” Matt’s mother cooed as Emma displayed the ill-fitting ring for the fifth time.
“I’m so happy for you two,” Matt’s youngest sister, Katie, said. She was the only sibling not having to split focus with a demanding toddler or newborn. “We should probably let you guys celebrate.”
“But I have more questions,” Matt’s other sister, Mary, whined as her husband, Shane, completely zoned out next to her. Mary’s dour facial expressions had made it known from the beginning of the call that she was the most skeptical of the bunch. “She’s going to be my sister-in-law even though I don’t know her at all .”
“There’ll be plenty of time to get to know each other when we fly out for the wedding,” Matt’s father replied. “Your mother is already looking into flights.”
“What airline?” Matt’s brother, Dave, asked with the kind of energy that suggested this was a contentious topic in their family—much like the 405 freeway was in Emma’s.
After another five minutes of airline debate, goodbyes and one more close up of what Emma had to assume was at least a two-carat diamond, they finally hung up.
It was Emma’s and Matt’s first time alone as an engaged couple.
“Your family is great,” Emma said, meaning it. It was obvious the Monroys cared deeply about each other even if their decidedly Midwestern vibe was a bit of a culture shock. Emma could already tell that twenty-six-year-old Katie was likely to be her closest ally because she hadn’t once said the words blessed or god willing .
“They can be a little much,” Matt offered politely. “But I can tell they really like you.”
“Even Mary?” Emma asked as Matt laughed.
“She’s just protective. The first time I took Kelly home to meet them, Mary cornered her for the entire night grilling her with question after question. But by the time we left two days later, they were best friends.”
“Do they still talk?”
“No,” Matt replied before fully considering the question. A look of concern crossed his face. “At least I don’t think so.”
Emma nodded, not knowing what to say next. As much as she liked Matt, they didn’t have the level of repartee she was used to in her relationships. She suspected Matt might still be carrying around too much grief over the end of his marriage for him to be fully present with her. It was like looking at a work of art covered in a layer of grime and dust. She could see the beauty underneath but wasn’t sure how to access it without doing more damage.
“Is there anyone else you want to call?” Matt asked.
“I don’t think so. You?”
“Nope.”
They locked eyes and Matt shifted slightly closer to Emma on the couch. He reached his hand out and slowly caressed her face. Emma tried not to breathe too loudly despite her nerves and surgically constructed small nasal passages. He leaned in and suddenly they were kissing with more intensity than Emma expected. He was one of the best kissers she’d experienced in her rather eventful dating history, and something about the way Matt touched her helped wash her nervousness away. She was able to zone in and focus on her body in a way that normally eluded her.
“Did you want to go to the bedroom?” Matt asked, his voice husky and a bit ragged.
“Yes, please,” Emma replied even though the break in physical contact had caused her brain to reengage. She suddenly felt unsure if she was ready to go all the way. But Matt was already holding his hand out to help her. She followed him up the stairs to the primary bedroom, the whole time focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Her knee injury had required her to relearn how to go up and down stairs without second-guessing herself. It was similar to how her broken heart was making it difficult to effortlessly fall into bed with her new fiancé, even if her lower half really wanted to.
Matt sat down on his all-white bed. Emma wasn’t sure if this clean look was his preference or a holdover from life with Kelly. She’d always found all-white bedding devoid of personality. But then again, Emma wasn’t known for her taste.
“Come here,” Matt said with a level of authority Emma could get behind. She stood between his legs as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He was so tall they were almost the same height with him seated. Emma leaned down slightly and kissed him. He then masterfully picked her up and flipped her onto the bed. Suddenly she was on her back, and he was on top of her, kissing her neck and her chest and—
A loud jingle suddenly rang throughout the apartment, jolting them apart.
“What is that?” Emma asked, her heart racing from a mix of sexual arousal and primal fear.
“The doorbell,” Matt replied as he got up and adjusted himself.
“You have a doorbell?” Emma’s mind flashed back to her entire family standing uselessly in the hallway.
“Yeah, it’s a little off to the side. Let me go check who it is.”
“What if it’s a murderer?”
“Then the security guard is in a lot of trouble for letting them up here.”
Matt made his way to the front door as Emma tried to fix her bangs behind him. If an intruder was going to take Matt down, they would go down together.
“Oh, hey man,” Matt said as he opened the door.
Emma instantly breathed a sigh of relief that Matt recognized their mystery visitor. Because despite her best intentions, she was a coward at heart.
“Sorry to barge in but Emma wasn’t answering her phone,” a familiar voice said. She joined Matt at the door and saw her brother-in-law now dressed in sweatpants and an old high school T-shirt. Emma’s first thought was surprise that Jackie had let him leave the house like that. Her second thought was panic.
“Is everyone okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chris assured her. “Jackie just left her phone here. I told her we could get it tomorrow and she reacted as though I had stabbed her.”
“Understandable,” Matt said graciously. “Come on in.”
“Sorry to interrupt your big night,” Chris said, sending a knowing look in Emma’s direction, making her want to vomit. The idea that Chris knew she had sex sometimes was revolting, which proved she viewed him like a brother and not just a brother-in-law. So that was nice.
“Found it,” Chris announced as he held up Jackie’s iPhone in a quilted Chanel case. As he headed back out of the condo he waved goodbye over his shoulder. “Pretend I was never here.”
“We’ll try,” Matt replied as he closed the door. But when he turned to face Emma, it was clear to both of them that the mood had changed. After a moment of trying to figure out what to say next and not succeeding, they both laughed, which was a good sign. Humor was kryptonite for awkward situations.
“Should we get something to drink?” Matt asked.
“Absolutely we should.”
As he poured them each a glass of red wine, Emma could tell there was something on his mind. She gently nudged him with her hip. “What’s up?”
“I…” Matt started before shaking his head. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
“Now I have to know. Because you have yet to say a single stupid thing and it’s been getting on my nerves.”
Matt laughed again and took a rather large gulp of wine. “I’ve just been thinking about the wedding and how we’ve been doing so many things out of order.”
Emma nodded as a knot formed in her chest. Was he having second thoughts already? Was she about to have to give a second ring back?
“And I was just wondering what you would think about us not sleeping together until our wedding night?” He looked at her bashfully as every insecurity Emma had ever felt about her desirability or lack thereof came crashing into her brain. He must have seen the look of horror on her face because he quickly clarified, “It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you. Obviously, I do. I’ve just always wondered if couples who wait for marriage have a kind of advantage. Like, they understand how sacred it all is or something.” Matt shook his head with embarrassment. “It’s stupid. Forget I said anything.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Emma replied delicately. “But I guess I am curious about your reasoning. Do you have like a moral or religious issue with premarital sex?”
“Not at all,” Matt protested. “And I normally never would have considered something like this before we met. But…how do I say this? It’s like we’re already trying a new thing by committing to each other so quickly, so why not try this too? I think there’s something kind of beautiful about waiting until right after the wedding. And I mean right after.”
Emma laughed as she started to realize he had a point. If they were already trying a new approach to their marriage, why not try this too? Plus, Matt’s relationship to sex was probably complicated now that he’d been cheated on by his ex-wife. Maybe waiting until marriage was a way for him to feel safer being intimate again. Not every guy could pump and dump without emotional risk, despite what the media would have everyone believe.
“You aren’t worried that if we wait, you might end up feeling disappointed or something?”
“Emma, no.” Matt took her hands in his. “I’m not worried about that at all. I can already tell we have incredible chemistry. If Chris hadn’t interrupted us, I have no doubt we would have been up all night.”
Emma smiled at the thought, even if it now seemed off the table.
“It was just an idea. Probably a bad one. We don’t need to do it.”
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I just have to adjust to it.” And figure out how to not take it personally , Emma added silently in her head. “I’m the one who came up with this whole plan to begin with. It seems only fair to incorporate one of your ideas.”
“Really?” Matt looked at her so earnestly she felt compelled to protect him and his heart at any cost.
“Really,” Emma replied as she held out her hand for an official shake. “No sex until marriage.”
Matt put his hand in hers and shook.
“No sex until marriage.”
And with that, they went to bed. Or, more accurately, to sleep.