George
Iwoke up far too early, my body still operating on its own schedule. He was wrapped up in my arms, clinging to my side with his mouth drooling into my armpit.
Disgusting, perhaps, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind anything when it came to him.
“Go back to sleep,” he muttered, shuffling gently, adjusting his hip. Mouth. Chin now on my shoulder.
“The phone woke me,” I huffed, scrolling through endless messages. I’d been added to a new group chat. “Sacked and Proud” apparently. Someone was suggesting a name change to “Escapees with Futures”. Or “No More Insane Bullshit”. It made me smile.
“I think they terminated everyone yesterday. I keep scrolling through the group members here, new names keep being added, and I have a feeling everyone in production lost their jobs. Parent company is pulling the plug. People are talking about lawsuits, complaints and…yeah, sexual assault live on TV. That will go down well with the viewing public.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, lazily kissing the top of my arm. Snuggling into me. “Thank God you got out. Also? I love waking up with you. I don’t have to reach for my phone; you’re just here, live and direct for my every pleasure.”
“Ed,” I warned. I liked saying it. His name. Mine. Mine, mine, mine. Ed and George. George and Ed.
“Georgie, you’re my waking pleasure and nighttime delight.”
“Fuck off.”
He giggled softly. “What more are they saying?”
“Some of the resources are deemed too high risk, and they are making them sign new NDAs,” I went on, still scrolling through the chat.
“Well, everyone was also politely asked to remove themselves. Crazy. I mean? Yes, a few people can be seen to walk away for mental health reasons or whatever, but they…” I had to scroll back and count in my fingers.
“They started with ten, then added, what, another seven? How many walked out? I can’t remember now.
That leaves only what, four or so people who were there from the start?
The newbies had barely started. How the hell are they going to explain that? Are they going to show more episodes?”
“TV can work magic. Don’t you remember Professor Pearson who taught special effects? Magic!” He let his hand produce imaginary glitter into the air.
“It’s reality TV. Magic doesn’t quite fit the genre.”
“No,” he said softly. “Is your dad okay?”
“Yeah. Cal’s on it. He’s got everything under control.”
“Did you tell him?” An open question. Not digging for answers. I wasn’t going to pressurise him into doing anything he wasn’t ready for.
“I think my brother knows that…you’re special. It’s not like I hide it.”
“You always say that.” I wanted to follow that with, I am right here hiding with you.
“I was thinking,” he said gently, raising himself up on his elbow. His hand reaching for my face. Stroking down my cheek. Then he leant in to give me a kiss. All morning breath and passion, even in something as simple as this.
Who was I kidding? Nothing between us would ever be simple. Him and me. Yearning and longing and wanting and needing. Always.
“I was thinking,” he repeated, “Do you want to come home with me today? Have a break from here. Come home with me, and we can make proper food and wash these sheets and like…hang out with my family.”
“Really?” That was…surprising. Maybe too soon. Or maybe not.
“Yes. And yes, you’re my baby, and I love you, and it will be absolutely fine.”
“They won’t make…like…make it a big deal?”
“You haven’t met my family.”
“No. But I read your mum’s book.”
He threw himself back down on the bed with a groan. “I should never have told you about it.”
“I bought it to top up your royalty payments. Hardback and all!”
It was a joke, but yeah. No joke. I’d bought it because it was him in there. His little childhood stories. The photos of him as a baby. He looked exactly like his mum. Sharp lines and dark hair. Stunning profile. Perfection in every little breath escaping from his lips.
He was beautiful. I’d always seen it, even when he claimed he couldn’t see it himself.
“You did good with Ollie, though.”
“It wasn’t…you know. Intentional.”
“You don’t do anything half-hearted,” he protested, now sitting up on the bed, leaning over me.
“No, well. I just thought that if your dad was anything like you, then maybe he needed…”
“What?” He was just too close. Too heady for my newly awakened brain.
“If he was anything like you, maybe he needed someone like me?”
“Baby.” He was right there. So close. His nose against mine. His heart beating against mine making me reckless.
“Please fuck me again.”
My words came out before I could think, but then…I didn’t want to take them back. I wanted him, and I needed what he gave me. Confidence. Bravery. Peace.
“Always.”
He did what he did best. Took that control away from me so I didn’t have to think. I just let him take the phone from my hand, place it gently back on the little table. Remove the duvet from my body, his hands smoothing up and down my chest.
“So gorgeous,” he whispered. “So pretty.”
“So hard,” I filled in with a little smile. No lie there, my dick was fully in the game as he kissed my chest. Licked that nipple, never taking his eyes off mine. Possessive. Just like me.
I liked it. I liked this so, so much. Loved that he let me love him like he loved me. I felt it, and no lie. I knew. I thought I always had, and now I half laughed at the old me who hadn’t seen it. How had I ever doubted him? We’d always been like this. Just…not crossed the line.
Now he was crossing all of them, and I was willingly opening every virtual door. Have at me. Take me. Do everything to me because I want it all.
“Can I?” he asked, now with his cheek stroking up my length. Cuddling me with his chin against my groin. Burying his nose into my unkempt pubes, not even waiting for my response.
“Anything,” I breathed out.
“Can I suck you and finger you at the same time?”
“Fuck,” I moaned.
“I’ll fuck you. Don’t worry.”
And there he was again, lifting my leg up against my chest and gently kissing my skin.
The sensitive spot on the inside of my leg.
The side of my balls. All the places I never knew needed his kisses, but now did.
The warmth of his mouth on me. My arms stretching over my head, then grabbing my leg so he could get better access.
To all of me. Every little piece of me.
His mouth went there, of course it did. And I was dirty and sweaty and full of yesterday’s shred, but he still loved me enough to give me what I craved. All of him.
Where he found the lube was a mystery, but it was suddenly all over his fingers. All over me.
And then he stopped, just let his forehead drop against my thigh.
“You okay?” I huffed out.
“Just overwhelmed. Like…I can’t… It just hit me, that this is real. That I am actually having…” He was smiling into my skin. Again. He was just like me. Almost like we were sometimes the exact same person.
“It’s just me.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Here he was, looking up at me.
His face wet from spit and his eyes all twinkling and that long fringe of his?
He blew it out of his eyes with a little huff.
“You’re so fucking special, Georgie. You’re like, this ethereal, beautiful being, and you’re so small and soft and scared, and at the same time you’re so fucking strong.
And you make me feel absolutely invincible, and then right now it suddenly hit me, that if I was ever to lose you, I think I would just die. I don’t know. Shit.”
His hand flew up and covered his eyes.
“Damn it. I’ve got all sorts on my fingers, and now it’s in my eye.”
Why I laughed was beyond me, but it was funny. The way he was squinting and rubbing, his eyes blinking in big, exaggerated jerks. But he was mine and this was us, and goddamn if I didn’t feel like my heart was about to explode.
“You’re not going to lose me,” I said sternly, tugging at him, and at the same time sliding down the bed until we were sat up, my hands trying to wipe lube from his eyelashes and his hands holding on to my arms. “You’re not going to lose me because I’m right here.”
“But I keep…you know.” He was still blinking, his bottom lip gifting me a little tremble.
I stroked it off with my thumb. “We lost Mum, and Dad went mad,” he said slowly.
“I don’t blame him. I would have gone mad too.
I mean, I was a mess, for a long time. Cal wouldn’t stop crying.
We were…fuck. Things were so bloody hard, and here we are and we’re, like, having sex and I have a breakdown. ”
I kissed his nose. His stupid face. Kissed the smear of lube on his cheek.
“That’s because this is who we are. You and me. And whatever happens, I’m going to tell you something. Are you listening?”
“Yes,” he breathed out, rubbing his other eye. He was a mess. So was I. This was just…yes. I agreed. Overwhelming.
“I love you. And you love me. And I think even that first day we met? We had this insane little vibe going on. You and me.”
“We did,” he agreed. “And people kept saying we were joined at the hip.”
“We probably were.”
“I’m a twin. I don’t do well on my own.”
“I know that. Which is why…you know. We should go to yours. Let you settle back into being at home…with me.”
“There’s food at home. SKY TV and stuff. There’s, like, clean sheets that don’t smell of mushrooms.”
“My sheets don’t smell of mushrooms,” I huffed out in protest.
“They do. We need to wash them. How many times have we fucked in these sheets?”
“I know.” I laughed. “We are disgusting. But hey. Listen.”
“What?” He smiled. I wiped the tear from his cheek. The one he was so generously gifting me. A small piece of his heart. All for me.
“You’re not going to lose me. And I am not going to lose you.
We’ve never lost each other yet, have we?
Even when you moved away and I thought I would fall apart?
You texted me, like, once an hour for weeks, Ed.
It was the only thing that kept me going, that you had my back. That you cared enough to keep me sane.”
“I missed you. I missed you so much. We have to fix that, and now we can. Even if you get another job here in London, we need to make sure we see each other. No more spending weeks away and not sleeping in the same bed. Two weeks max.”
“Agreed.” I smiled. “I need to get a job so I can buy a car. Then I can drive to yours too.”
“It’s not that complicated. Not now.”
“It’s simple.” I smiled.
“I just want to be with you and do all the normal things we do, just together. Lie on the sofa and watch stupid TV. Eat proper meals. Go…outside. Play stupid football or whatever. I want to do that with you. And I want you in my bed at night, and I want to wake up with you, and can you please, please come stay with me in Exeter?”
I nuzzled into his cheek. Of course I would. I would do anything he asked. Because he was him and I was me. And we were…us.
Everything was suddenly so simple. Like the sunshine streaming through my thin curtains. The way my fingers found the bottle of lube. And how I grinned as I covered my fingers in soft fluid.
“My turn.” I smiled into his cheek. “I want to play too.”
He went down far too willingly, a smile on his face, angling his leg so I could straddle his other thigh. My hand pushing gently to where I wanted in. Those soft folds of skin. His breath hitching in my ear.
I didn’t care where his mouth had been; I just kissed him. Hard. My finger breached him with determination as he gasped into my cheek.
I wanted to watch. I wanted to see what I was doing to him, but then I was mesmerised by his eyelids fluttering shut.
The way he tightened his mouth. The little breaths of pleasure as I shifted myself down a little so I could get a better angle.
Pushed. Just a little further in. And out.
Adding another finger. Probably far too soon, but I was impatient and he let me.
Giving me more space as he angled his leg up, held on to his limb as I got two fingers almost all the way in, to the sound of him struggling.
Then letting go. His body tightening and relaxing in rhythm with my thrusts.
“Just there,” he said, as I angled my fingers just so. “Do that again.”
I did. Painfully slow as he let out an excited little moan.
“Again.”
I hoped I was doing this right, trying to slow down my breathing, keeping my movements light yet…on point. I grinned. Fuck my life. Fuck the past. My future was blinding.
The moment was everlasting, and I allowed myself to stay exactly where I was. Massaging his insides, revelling in every little sound he let escape. The small beads of sweat forming on his forehead as his body shook in pleasure. I was giving it to him. One small stroke at a time.
“Can you please…” he whined.
“No. Going to make you come like this.”
“Touch me,” he begged. “Anything.”
Well, he was asking nicely.
“Please.”
I loved him. Of course I would.
His cock deep into my mouth as my hand upped its speed. Massaged that little point that made him scream.
His orgasm seemed to lift him off the bed. His voice right there as his arms flailed. His seed spurting into my mouth.
I could taste him. Every little part of him right there. I swallowed him down. Sucked every last spasm out of him. Every drop was mine to keep.
Afterwards he curled up, his face planted in the middle of my chest. He fell asleep. Right there.
We didn’t need words. Because in that moment, I knew everything.
I felt like the king of the world.
I felt. Everything.