Chapter 14
Ruby
As I get on the bus to school on Monday morning, it feels as though I only imagined the chaos of last week.
My bullet journal lies in my lap as I take a black pen and go over the lines of a new heading: Monday.
I pay careful attention not to go over the lines I already filled in with pencil at home.
When I’m done, I study the page and a smile spreads over my face. The colors are back in my life.
Today, I have turquoise, pink, purple, and a mint green that I’ve never used before in which to add the following points:
First day back after getting suspended!
Ask Lin to bring me up-to-date on the plans for the bonfire (+ tell her loads how much I’ve missed her)
Read through Ember’s blog post and work on the queries from the weekend (+ shower her with sisterly love and maybe find out the mystery person she’s spending so much time with)
Cook with James (?)
As of yesterday evening, James has his own color in my journal.
Even now, hours later, I get goose bumps all over my body when I remember the way he looked at me when I told him so.
It’s the same when I remember his lips roaming up and down my throat, and his hands slipped gently under my jumper, causing me to make sounds that I tried to muffle in my pillow.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to do that on the bus?” James asks, dragging me out of my thoughts.
I feel my face flush warm and clear my throat. “You’re underestimating my skills.”
He eyes the black book on my lap. “I just don’t want you to shake. When that happened last week, you threw your pen at me.”
“That was a one-off. The page was frustrating me. And last week was…last week,” I explain, tracing over the loop at the bottom of the “Y.” “This week, everything’s going to be better.”
At that moment, the driver brakes so abruptly for a bus stop that I slide forward and have to brace myself on the seat in front so as not to break my nose. Startled, I look down at my bullet journal. There’s a black line right across my brand-new page.
“Argh! No!” I glare at the driver. Obliviously, he shuts the door and pulls away again. “This is only because you’re with me, James. I’ve done hundreds of pages on the bus, and this is the first time anything like that has ever happened.”
“Now you’re acting like it was me who made us take the bus,” he replies dryly. “If we’d gone in the car, we’d have been at school in half the time.”
“I wanted to mark the occasion by going by bus.” I jab my pen at James. “You would have been more than welcome to go in your car.”
“Well, one, I didn’t want to leave you to go on your own. And two, you have a talent for making boring stuff like bus journeys sound lovely and relaxing, which they totally aren’t.”
He watches me for a moment as I try to turn the black line into a moderately aesthetically pleasing tendril of flowers. Then he strokes the hair out of my face with one hand and tucks it behind my ear.
“I could get used to this,” he says quietly.
I turn to look at him. “To taking the bus?”
He smiles at me. “That too. But I meant waking up with you in the morning.”
I feel the heat in my cheeks again. He makes it sound like we’re sharing a bed, but we haven’t done that since the night in Ophelia’s guest room.
“Although you live in a madhouse. Helen was up at four this morning, and Ember’s energy levels at six a.m. are really not normal.”
“Mum got a new boss a couple of weeks ago, and I think she’s still really keen not to be late. But as for Ember…” I say, shaking my head. “I really don’t know how she does it. She doesn’t even drink coffee.”
“Crazy.”
And it’s just as crazy how natural it feels now to speak to James about my family.
“I love having you to stay,” I say after a while.
James looks sideways at me, his eyes warm. Then he puts an arm round my shoulder and pulls me close.
The journey to school crawls and flies by at the same time. Just before we arrive, I stand up and swing from post to post down the bus. It’s a real battle not to grin as I hear James stumbling along behind me.
When we get to the stop, I notice how jittery I am, and how fast my heart is racing. It feels almost like my first day at this school. Then I get off and stop still as I see who’s waiting for me.
“Surprise!” cries Lin, spreading out her arms.
My friend isn’t alone.
The entire events committee has come down to the bus stop with her, and they’re all beaming from ear to ear. Even Camille, although she has her arms crossed over her chest.
Before I’ve quite got my head around what’s happening, Lin hugs me tight.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” she says, her voice shaking. When she pulls away, it looks almost as though there are tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how I’d have got through the rest of the year without you.”
“And I don’t know how we’d have got through the rest of the year with just Lin in charge,” adds Jessalyn as she gives me a quick hug too. “She’s been brutal, Ruby. This last week has felt like an entire term.”
“She just wanted everything to be perfect when you got back,” says Kieran, hugging me in turn. He smiles shyly at me. “Nice to have you back, Ruby. We’ve missed you.”
“What he said,” puts in Doug.
“It was weird without you,” says Camille. She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives a dramatic sigh of relief. “Good that you’re back.” Even she comes over and puts her arms around me.
By the time she moves away, I’m completely overwhelmed. My whole team is here to greet me. It seems like they genuinely missed me. There’s a lump in my throat, and however often I swallow, I can’t get rid of it.
When I started at Maxton Hall, I never dreamed I’d end up like this.
I preferred to fly below the radar so that nobody would have any reason to pick on me.
All I wanted to do was get good A levels.
Nothing more. And now I realize what a mistake that was.
That I might have missed out on lovely moments like this.
“Shall we go?” Camille asks, pointing to the main door. “It’s time for assembly.”
I nod. As our little group heads into Boyd Hall, I link arms with Lin. She leans her head to rest on my shoulder. “About bloody time.”
“Totally,” I say. “You have to tell me everything.”
As I walk into school between her and James, I can feel people’s eyes on me. Heads turn toward me, and I catch occasional muffled murmurs.
And I couldn’t care less.
“The lasagna has never tasted so good,” I declare, sticking another forkful in my mouth.
“The lasagna tastes just as crap as ever. You’re just seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses after your week’s holiday,” Lin retorts, wrinkling her nose dubiously as she eyes the portion on her own plate.
“Your standards are just way too high.”
“And yours must be way, way low if you really think this tastes good. I mean, what is that? Spinach? Mushy broccoli? Nobody knows.”
I chew with a blissful sigh. Lin just shakes her head.
“I really missed you, Ruby.”
“Missed you too. I missed everything here. Even the stinky changing rooms after a match.”
Lin screws up her nose again. “So, I’m on a level with stinky changing rooms after a match, am I? I should take that as an insult, but I’m just too happy today.”
All I can do is grin.
After lunch, we take our trays back. Before I head through the door, I look around for James; he’s sitting with Kesh, Alistair, and Wren at their usual table by the window.
The four of them have their heads together over the table, looking serious.
I wonder if James is telling them what happened over the weekend.
That he’s not living at home with his dad, and that he doesn’t want anything more to do with Beaufort’s.
And that Cyril sent him the original photos on Saturday.
The thought of everything that’s changed for those lads since September makes me really sad. James told me their original plan for this year: fun, parties, no worries, no thinking about the future. And it’s been the exact opposite for all of them.
My eye rests on Cyril’s place, which has been empty all lunchtime. I’ll never be able to forgive him for what he did, but it still looks so wrong.
“Did you speak to Cyril?” I ask Lin as we walk outside.
Suddenly, her face tenses. She tucks a strand of her black hair behind her ear. “No. And after what he did to you, I’m not planning to talk to him ever again.”
A queasy feeling spreads through my stomach. Cyril did something unforgivable, but even so, I’m almost feeling sorry for him. It can’t be easy to get your heart broken and then lose all your friends.
“Why d’you ask?”
“Oh, just wondering,” I reply, trying to ignore the weird sensation.
“Were you able to keep up with everything today?” Lin asks after we’ve walked side by side in silence for a while.
“Yeah, thanks to you and James.” I smile gratefully at her. “Your notes were a total lifesaver.”
“No problem.”
“I’d like to do something to thank you,” I say. “And for all the work that you’ve done with the events committee.”
Lin shakes her head. Then she grins sideways at me. “If I ever get suspended over an alleged affair with a teacher, you can do the same for me.”
I go to punch her, but she dodges.
“By the way,” she says as we head to the library together, “you were totally overdoing it in history earlier. The new guy was kind of stunned by how often you jumped in.”
“The new guy” is actually a retired history teacher who’s come back instead of Mr. Sutton for the rest of the year. It was interesting but weird to have a lesson with somebody else.
“Is there anything I need to know for the meeting?”
“Oh!” Lin exclaims. She stops between two bookshelves and stares wide-eyed at me. “I think Camille and Doug have got together,” she whispers.
“What?”
“I have no idea when it happened, and I don’t think it’s official yet, but I saw them last week on one of the back car parks having a pretty long hug. They looked very cozy together, holding hands and all that.”