Chapter 4
Four
“ B -but tributes are only female.”
I didn’t understand. I’d never heard of a male tribute before.
He nodded and shrugged. “They were. Until me. I came to the clan during the last tribute gathering. Orthorr thought talking to me might help you since Verus won’t let the whole protector thing go. My bondmate took him to cool off, so we’ve got a minute. Are you okay?”
I was… confused. And scared. None of them acted concerned that the barbarian who took me wouldn’t let the idea of a protector go. I didn’t know what it meant, and after the way he pinned me, I was afraid it was something they’d just come to accept. I didn’t want to accept it. I’d gone my whole life without being touched like that. I didn't want my first experience to be forced and traumatizing. I’d been traumatized enough after what happened with Richard. I just wanted to escape and find my way to a town that would accept me.
“He’s injured,” the woman answered for me. “I didn’t want to undress him before he was awake to consent, but his leg is obviously hurt, and what little I could see of the bruising in the rip of his trousers, I’m worried it might be broken. I’ll need to set it and wrap it up, and check for any other injuries. I planned to do it in the healing tent, but then Verus lost his ever-loving mind.”
Finn made a face. “Yeah, I’ve never seen him like that before.” He turned to me and smiled softly again. “He’s taken a liking to you.”
“I-I don’t want him to like me! I don’t want to be here! I need to leave before he comes back! Please!”
Finn grimaced, shaking his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. He’s not going to hurt you. I know the rumors about the barbarians say otherwise, but they don’t rape people here. At least not in this clan. I haven’t actually met any others. But here, it’s considered a heinous crime, and it's punishable by death.”
“Then why—” I gestured sharply to the bed where the barbarian pinned me down.
“He brought you here to his tent because that’s what they normally do when a new tribute arrives,” Finn explained with a sigh. “Tributes get assigned a protector, who keeps them away from the clan for about a week so they can acclimate without getting overwhelmed. Their protectors teach them the language and things about the clan and keep them safe.”
That sounded weird, because what if the barbarian was dangerous? They could be hurting the women for a week straight without anyone knowing.
“He doesn’t believe me,” Finn said quietly to the woman. He bit his lip, his brows furrowed tightly. “I can show him what I’ve been working on, but I’m not sure it’ll help. He’s in a weird circumstance. How often does the clan get visitors who aren’t other barbarians?”
The woman shook her head. “Never? I’ve never seen one, at least. Just your brother showing up to get you was a shock to the clan. No one had ever been brave enough to do that before.”
“Y-your family came to get you? And you stayed?” I asked, incredulous.
Finn wrinkled his nose. “My brother doesn’t actually care about me. He saw me being sent here as a stain on our family’s reputation. He didn’t want our family name tainted by the idea of me living in sin with a man, even if I was volunteered as a tribute. I stayed because I love it here. I can be myself, be in love with a man without facing a death sentence, and truly live. Nothing was waiting for me back home except pain and ridicule. I didn't want to go back.”
It felt like a gut punch when he admitted that out loud. “It’s… It’s legal here?”
The woman nodded, her face full of warmth. “All kinds of relationships are allowed here. Bonding is sacred and not something a clan leader would ever try to dictate as wrong or right. Finn might be the first male tribute, but he’s not the first male attracted to other males.”
My mind swam with all the new information, making me a little dizzy. That, combined with the pain still throbbing in my leg, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I burst into tears, hugging my arms around myself to try and hold it all in. I was hurt, confused, scared, and it was just too overwhelming to handle.
It took my brothers physically removing me from the tent to get me away from the frightened male. I wanted to help him almost desperately, but I somehow only seemed to make it worse. It tore me apart inside, and while I understood why my brothers pulled me away, I was still focused only on returning to make it right.
Which was when Rath showed up, threw me over his shoulder like one of his catches, and took me to the river to cool off. And he was not kind about it. He threw me into the water that was cold without the sun’s rays upon it, making me gasp as I came up for air.
He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at me. “Have you calmed down, or do I need to dunk you a few times?”
I took a step back automatically. We played that game often as children, and he was always the victor. Getting the upper hand against my best friend was nearly impossible. He was better than me at all things. Including caring for a frightened male.
“What would you have me do?” I demanded, throwing my hand toward the direction of my tent. “He is injured and frightened, and I could tell he wished to run away. He would hurt himself if he did so. I only wanted to get him somewhere he could feel safe.”
Rath’s fierce expression softened a little. “You wish to protect him. This is an honorable thing. But he is not a frightened tribute resigned to their fate. There is more to his story. You are only scaring him more by taking him away from the healers with no explanation. You need to have more patience.”
I couldn’t admit to him that I wished the male was a tribute. I wished to have the chance to woo him into choosing me. I was so desperate for it, I stole him away. Something about him called to me, and I wasn’t sure I’d get the chance to warm him to me unless I did something about it.
Rath let me leave the river only when I was calm enough to listen. Then he accompanied me back to my tent, holding me back when I heard the heavy sobs coming from inside and tried to rush forward to check on him. I shot a worried look at Rath, but he shook his head at me.
“You have not had a tribute before. My advice is to move slowly. He does not understand you. You have to show him he is safe with you. If you rush, you’ll frighten him more.”
Oh. I hadn’t considered that. I only wanted to reach him faster so I could end his suffering sooner. But Rath would know better than I would. Slowing my pace, I crept into the tent, taking in the three inside. My heart felt as though it was ripping to shreds watching the poor man sob so intensely. I wanted to scoop him up and hold him close, so he felt safe. But it wasn’t time for that yet, and I was still soaked. I had to hold myself back.
“Why are you all wet?” Zoya demanded from where she sat beside the male, rubbing his back soothingly. I wanted to do that for him. It hurt that I wasn’t allowed.
“He needed to cool off,” Rath drawled with a shrug.
Finn’s snicker surprised the male, and he finally looked up. When he saw me, true fear flashed across his face, making me wince at the sharp stab of guilt that shot through me like a flaming arrow. He said something, his voice tremulous, and Finn shook his head with a soft smile.
“What does he say?” I asked quietly to Zoya.
“He wants to know if you will hurt him,” she replied, frowning at me. “You frightened him before. What were you thinking?”
A pained noise escaped me, and I dropped my head forward to show my regret. “I only wanted to get him to stop so he wouldn’t hurt himself,” I murmured.
Finn spoke again in his own tongue, perhaps translating for me, but I didn’t look up. In my desperation to take care of the male, I made him fear me instead. I gestured to Rath without looking up. He was better with tributes. He was better at everything. He would fix this where I could not.
“Rath will bring him back to the healing tent. I will go so he will not be frightened anymore.”
And despite how much it hurt, I turned to leave without looking back.
Perhaps I deserved to be alone.