Chapter 45
45
S imon had to call Darcy back today. Carlisle had told him Darcy called last night while he was in the shower. Simon rolled over and looked at the clock. And he needed to get to work.
First, he wanted to tell Carlisle his idea. Though she was sleeping peacefully, he was shaking her awake before he realized he could have texted her later. But he wanted to have a chance to explain. He hoped it would work.
“Hey?” She rolled over and blinked, her voice soft and cottony.
“Remember, I told you we'd figure it out?”
She blinked as if she didn't understand.
“You can't keep doing the interviews.”
“I have to,” she replied. Whether that was a rote reply or if she’d just talked herself into powering through, he couldn’t tell.
“I don’t think you do! I figured it out. I hope.” He tacked the last part on, not wanting to be too certain of himself, but she sat up.
She looked at the clock then back at him. “Don't you have to go to work? ”
“I do, but this is important, and I wanted you to have a better day. Have some time to think on how to make it work. When's your next interview?”
“Two days.” Her eyes opened wider then, as if the mere thought of another interview was that concerning.
Carlisle blinked at him a few times. Pushing up on her hands, she sat up in bed as the sheet tumbled down to her waist, revealing her naked breasts. She tugged it up, maybe because she was a little chilled. He ignored the sight of her and the need she always prompted and pushed ahead.
“You only have to do it one more time.”
“I don't know if I can.”
“You can.” He believed in her. “If you want, I'll be there.”
“You can't take off work.” Her protest was solid, but he had it figured out.
“We'll get Jane and the three of us will do it. Just us, so you don't have a big audience. We’ll film you telling the story, one more time. Then when you go to an interview, they can play the video. Everyone will get the story, but you don’t have to tell it again and again.”
She blinked a few times. Her head tipped. It wasn't the Eureka! that he had hoped for but, clearly, she was considering it. “I have to go to work. I just wanted to tell you my idea so you didn't have to spend today worried.”
She swallowed, nodded, and told him, “I'll call Jane. See what she thinks.”
“If you want, we can do it tonight. Then you'll be done. You never have to tell it again.”
She reached out, her fingers linking behind his head, her grip woven into his hair. Pulling him forward, she kissed him. Lingering for a moment, she stole his breath. Her happiness stole his heart.
Simon began to try to put the puzzle pieces together. How could he stay with her? How could he be what she needed? How could he be her future without stealing her future from her?
He didn't have room in his life for kids or a family of his own. He already had a built-in family that desperately needed him. But he loved Carlisle.
He loved her.
He loved having her in his bed and in his life. Despite their fight the other night, he knew she’d been trying to help him. Maybe she was trying to get him to save some of his money for her. He couldn't do that, but maybe he could take it as a good sign. Maybe she wanted a future for the two of them, too.
In another few years, he could possibly get a promotion. If the raise was significant enough, it could make a difference. Was it right to hold on to Carlisle for a few years, not knowing if he could work it out?
He could talk to his boss about what his future path was at the company. He didn’t know. Even his best-case scenario wasn’t fair to her, but he wanted her for himself.
“Talk to Jane,” he suggested as he pulled away. He wasn't getting a promotion if he didn't get to work on time.
She grinned at him, finally. “ Thank you . And don’t forget to call Darcy!”
He was smiling as he headed into the garage, keys in hand.
He told himself the whole idea of holding onto her until he got a promotion or raise was stupid and unfair. He didn't know if he could ever earn enough to support two families. He didn't even know if Carlisle wanted him the way he wanted her—for more than just sex, for more than just right now. But he found himself weaving a fantasy world where she did. A fantasy world where Darcy's medical bills went down and his paycheck went up.
A world where Carlisle wanted to stay with him.
Maybe if they only paid one mortgage , he thought.
It was far too early to think those things, but he started the engine, wondering what it would be like for him and Kitten to move into her much more updated house.
He was heading down the street, not paying enough attention as he hit a pothole and jerked the wheel before he hit the cement barrier just at the edge of the pavement.
This was not the best side of town. There were even railroad tracks nearby—almost literally on the wrong side of the tracks.
Carlisle's friend, Ever—who Simon wished he could meet and thank—had lived just a few streets over for a long time. It was why she’d been around when Carlisle went into the water. But, as Simon turned the wheel again and veered too fast the wrong way, the car bounced toward the edge of the road.
It was only just then that he realized the barrier was there to keep people from sliding down the slope on the other side and into the lake. This was the place. The place where Carlisle had possibly done the same thing he'd just done, but her car had gone over the edge and down into the water.
His heart chilled.
Carlisle had gone into the water, but she had come back out. He was growing more and more convinced she’d been saved for him.