Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Elaina
“On your fucking knees,” the man standing in front of me snarled.
I’d been sold for the night, but what he hadn’t been told was that I was a fighter.
I didn’t just follow orders. And I wasn’t afraid to stand my ground.
I’d lose. Oh, I’d definitely fucking lose in the fight against this man, and he’d take me against my will because that was what all of them did, but I would not just lay down or kneel or whatever the fuck they wanted me to do and take whatever they dished out.
I’d made a vow that I would fight until my last dying breath, whenever that may be.
“Fuck you,” I snapped, tilting my chin up. “I’m not kneeling for a rapist.”
His hand latched around my throat, and he slammed me back against the wall so hard, my head smacked against it, and black spots danced in my vision, disorienting me.
Blood trickled down the back of my neck, and my stomach churned.
When he did it again, vomit spewed from between my lips, landing all over the both of us.
“You stupid fucking girl,” the man snarled before slinging me aside. I fell to my hands and knees, my head spinning so badly, I threw up a second time. I was so disoriented, and my head hurt. So when he flipped me onto my back, my attempts to push him off were weak and sloppy—
“Elaina, sweet girl, wake up. Come on.”
“Pequena luchadora, open those eyes. You’re safe.”
I jerked awake with a gasp. Alejandro and Joey were both looming over me, their expressions creased with worry. Joey’s hand was stroking through my hair, and Alejandro was cupping my jaw, his thumb rubbing back and forth over my cheek.
My chin wobbled, and tears welled in my eyes. When was the last time I’d been comforted? Hell, had I ever been comforted after a flashback? Had anyone ever given enough of a fuck about me to want to protect me, even from my own memories and my nightmares, which weren’t preventable?
Yet these two men were doing everything in their power to keep me safe.
To protect me. And when I fell into that dark space in my head the night before, Joey and Alejandro had tried pulling me out of it.
Alejandro had even tried dressing himself just so I wouldn’t feel like I was right back with any of those numerous men that’d raped and abused me.
And Joey had held me, rocking me side to side, and then, they slept on either side of me not only because I’d secretly wanted it, but because they wanted to take care of me, even while Alejandro had clearly been the one more in need.
“You okay?” Alejandro asked, a frown tugging at his lips.
I sniffled and nodded. “Just a flashback,” I croaked, hating that my voice sounded so strained and strangled.
Joey laid back down and wrapped his arms back around me. Alejandro did the same with a small grunt, and just like that, they were sandwiching me between them again. “You’re always safe here, pequena luchadora,” Alejandro swore. “Neither of us will let a fucking thing happen to you again.”
I nodded. “I know,” I said softly. “But you can’t protect me from what’s already happened.”
Joey grunted. “Maybe, but we’ll damn well fucking try, sweet girl.”
My heart clenched in my chest. Because I knew they would, and it just broke my heart knowing they never would be able to.
Only time could heal those wounds, and even then, I wasn’t sure time was strong enough either.
* * *
Whiler dropped into a seat across from me, where I was silently coloring in an adult coloring book.
The coloring book and colored pencils had been one of the many things Alejandro had picked up for me the day before, and it was soothing.
Just coloring like this, being forced to remember patterns and remaining in the tiny spaces kept my head blissfully empty.
“You hungry?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Joey made me ramen noodles for breakfast.” Which Alejandro had not been pleased about. Alejandro wanted me to eat something more nutritious since I was underweight, but Joey just wanted me to be happy with what I ate.
And yeah… ramen noodles, while definitely unhealthy, were good as fuck and quickly becoming my addiction. I understood why Joey liked them so much.
Whiler snorted and tapped the table. “Well, I’m going to go get a greasy burger and fries. I know you’re not hungry, but you want one anyway?”
I frowned and looked up at him. “There’s no reason to spend money on me, Whiler.” Alejandro and Joey were already doing enough. I didn’t want anyone else going out of their way to do anything for me when there was no way I could repay them.
He scoffed. “Woman, I’ve got so much money, I don’t know what to do with it half the damn time. You want a burger? You look like you could use one.”
I scowled at him. “What are you implying?”
He grinned. “That you’re malnourished and need some food.” He winked at me, softening the blow. “Come on. Just take the offer. You won’t regret it. I promise.”
I huffed. “Sure,” I muttered just so he would go away and stop bugging me.
He seemed the type to keep pestering me until I gave in, and I just wanted to be left alone to color.
I hadn’t felt right all morning after that flashback, even though I’d managed to get more rest. Flashbacks always drained me and left me moody and hard to deal with all day.
He got up and walked off, heading for the clubhouse doors.
I went back to coloring, thankful to be left alone once again.
Joey was in the chapel, and Alejandro was with him, along with Ink and Miguel.
I figured they were working on a game plan to take out my father, and I didn’t want to hear any of it.
I wanted to remain blissfully ignorant of all plans.
The only thing I wanted to know was when he was officially dead and the trafficking ring was dismantled. That was the only part I wanted in this entire mess.
The sound of motorcycles reached my ears, and I froze, my purple colored pencil poised over the page. My heart tripped in my chest, and fear lodged itself in my throat, making it hard to breathe. Had my dad found me? Were they here to start a war and take me away?
Joey and Alejandro emerged from the hall first, and both of them looked at me. Alejandro muttered a curse in Spanish before crossing the room to me.
“Breathe,” Alejandro commanded. “It is just the Fathers of Mayhem. Adelaide has come to see you.”
That didn’t make me feel any less jittery or nervous. In fact, it amplified my nerves. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face her. She was part of my dark past. What if she triggered a panic attack or, worse, another flashback? I couldn’t deal with two of those in the span of twenty-four hours.
Feigning a calm I certainly did not feel, I slowly set down my pencil and closed my book, drawing in a deep breath.
Pushing back from the table, I stood, twisting my fingers in front of me nervously.
He wrapped his good arm around me and pressed his lips to my temple.
Joey caught my eye as he opened the clubhouse doors.
“You good, sweet girl?”
I nodded my head, lying. Because I wasn’t good. My heart was beating too fast, and my palms were clammy. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t do good with anxiety. Had never learned how to manage it. And I was anxious as fuck to see Adelaide again.
Would she hate me for not being able to help her?
My father was at the top of the trafficking ring.
I could’ve tried to negotiate something to help her.
But then again, Vin had owned her, and that man had always run by his own book, even if my father had been in charge.
I wouldn’t have been able to do anything—not really.
But I hadn’t even tried. And she had every right to hate me for that.
He made his way over to where Alejandro and I were standing, and he cupped my face in his hands. “Do not make a habit of lying to me, Elaina,” he rumbled. I swallowed thickly. He stroked his thumbs over my cheeks. “Adelaide will not hate you,” he promised. “She’s not that kind of person.”
The chatter of a little boy reached my ears.
I peeked around Joey’s broad frame, watching as Adelaide walked inside behind two little boys, and a man strode in behind her wearing a cut with a patch that named him the president of the Fathers of Mayhem MC.
He was tatted all over, tall, broad-shouldered, and he looked mean as hell.
Adelaide slowly set down the small bag she’d been carrying as her eyes locked with mine. A lump formed in my throat, and tears threatened.
She was happy. Healthy. She had a family. She’d made it out alive and thrived.
My vision went blurry, and my chest tightened. Adelaide’s lips parted the slightest bit, and then, she breathed, “I can’t believe you’re alive.”
Then, she was crossing the room, shoving Joey out of the way, and wrapping her arms around me in a hug so tight and warm, the dam burst and I collapsed into a puddle of tears.