Chapter 9 #2
Hope rises in my chest, but I try to push it down.
Because when it comes to Gideon, hope is a dangerous thing.
Hope might make me foolish enough to stay with him.
But I’m still determined to run away… aren’t I?
Surely I could never find happiness with a commander from the Winter Court army, a fae male who’s killed countless humans and will probably slaughter countless more.
I remind myself of the bloodlust he felt as he attacked Braemar.
Yes, he’s a coldhearted beast, vicious to the bone, and I must never forget.
“Thank you,” I finally say, knowing it’s the reply he expects. I try to smile, but I’m certain it looks as forced as it feels, so I soon give up.
We resume our trek down the street, and I lead Gideon up the steps of the cozy inn nestled between the bookstore and the clothing shop. But when I attempt to open the door, it doesn’t budge.
“It’s locked. Hmm. I suppose it’s too early. The proprietor must still be asleep.” I peek through the window. “No sign of the servants yet, either. The fire in the hearth hasn’t been lit yet.”
Gideon’s hand brushes along mine as he reaches for the door handle. A spark of awareness passes between us, his winter chill meeting my warmth, and my breath catches in my throat. I watch with fascination as a blue swirl of light wraps around the door handle. Then it clicks open.
Does his winter magic have no end? I’m afraid to ask about the full extent of his powers.
I’m afraid of what I might learn. I’m also afraid he plans to use his powers to hold me captive.
If he decides to erect an invisible barrier around me each night, how will I ever manage to sneak away in the darkness?
He pushes the door open and we enter the small receiving area of the inn. Our footsteps are light as we climb the stairs. Gideon follows me down the upstairs hallway, and my heart beats faster as my nervousness increases.
I’m about to inform Papa that Gideon has found me.
I’m about to tell him that our plan failed.
We won’t be traveling to a port city, and we won’t be booking passage on a ship that will take us across the Clarrsian Sea to a remote island.
That adventure, that escape, will never happen.
Because I was a fool to think I could outrun my fate.
Perhaps I’m still a fool for entertaining thoughts of escaping Gideon. But how can I so easily surrender? I won’t give up. Not yet.
Tears burn in my eyes. All I want to do is return to Braemar with Papa so we can continue running the bakery. Normally at this hour, I would be baking bread, scones, and muffins, singing a cheerful tune with Papa as we waited for our first customers to arrive.
“Isabel?” Gideon whispers in a voice tinged with concern.
“I’m fine,” I murmur. “Just… will you please wait in the hallway? I-I am worried that if he spots you immediately, he might make a commotion. Even if you do appear as a very short, very ugly man to him.”
Though my father is typically calm, he’s also very protective of me. I think of the time he broke my former fiancé Ian’s nose. There’s no telling what might happen if Gideon is standing next to me when I knock on the door.
Gideon peers at me with a sudden, sharp look of suspicion that sends a chill through me. It’s shocking how quickly he can go from comforting to… cold and intimidating. I resist the urge to lower my gaze. As I hold my chin high, I wait for him to relent.
“If you try to open a window, little moth, I will hear it. Then I will come barging in to save you from your own foolishness. You will not attempt to escape me.”
“I wouldn’t put my father in danger like that.” I try to push Gideon away, but he’s still touching me.
His hand remains on my lower back, and he’s standing so close, his cold peppermint breath keeps caressing my face.
He lifts his eyebrows. “Do you really think I would harm your father just to punish you for attempting to run away?”
“You’re holding me captive, Gideon, and I’ve known you for less than a day.”
He scoffs lightly. “Holding you captive? Dear gods, we are mates, Isabel. Mates. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“No,” I say, and the word feels strange on my tongue, heavy and acidic. Or perhaps it’s the guilt I feel when Gideon’s eyes flash with shock and a hint of despair that causes my tongue to thicken in my mouth.
“You feel the bond between us,” he says, his demeanor turning arrogant, perhaps even a bit cruel. “I know you feel the bond. You confessed it to me last night, and let’s not forget how attracted you are to me. You crave my touch. You are eager for the physical consummation of our mating union.”
“I sense the bond between us, yes, but that doesn’t mean I want you. Not really. I will never want you. Now, please step aside.” I tell myself I mean every word, but it’s not quite the truth, and my guilt deepens.
He emits a low growl and gives me a warning look, but he eventually releases me and starts backing up. He turns and strides down the hallway, disappearing around a corner. But I know he hasn’t gone far.
Blinking fast, I knock quietly on the door. Tears keep marring my vision, and I hope I can refrain from breaking down sobbing in front of Papa. If he sees me so upset, I know it’ll affect him deeply.
The door swings open, and my father stares at me with wide eyes. He’s fully dressed. In his left hand, he holds his rucksack. In his right hand, he holds the missive I shoved under his door last night. Judging by the worry in his eyes and the paleness of his face, I know he’s read the letter.
“You haven’t left yet. Thank the gods.” He exhales quickly. “Come on, let’s go. Right now. We’ll take an indirect route to the nearest port city, and hopefully that will keep Gideon off our trail.” He makes to move past me, but I don’t budge.
“Papa, something has happened. Please, I must speak to you in private.” Try as I might, I can’t stop the flow of tears. I sniffle and wipe at my face.
Papa gives a solemn nod, then steps back to admit me into the room.
He closes the door, and I turn to look at him.
I study his face, wanting to memorize his features just in case this is the last time I’ll ever see him.
Yes, Gideon promised he would bring me to visit my father on occasion, but how can I be certain he’s telling the truth?
And even if he is telling the truth, I still want to escape him.
I can’t allow him to claim me as his mate.
“Tell me what’s happened, sweet daughter,” Papa says in a gentle tone that nearly breaks me.
“Gideon caught me in the forest last night as I tried to run away. He’s here. He’s just down the hall. I asked him to allow me to speak to you alone.”
“Oh, gods. It’s just as I feared.” He cups the side of my face. “Did he bring you back to the inn so you could say goodbye to me?”
“Something like that. But mostly, I wanted to warn you about the forest. Um, when Gideon found me last night, I was being chased by a pack of massive beasts from the fae realm. Direwolves, they’re called.
I wanted to warn you not to travel through the forest again, and I thought perhaps you might be content staying here in Hollins. ”
Papa exhales slowly, and tears gleam in his eyes. I’ve only ever seen him cry once, on the morning Mama died, and it’s a shock to see him on the verge of tears because of me. My heart swells with love for him, and I wish I could take away all his worry.
“I suppose we were lucky not to encounter any fae beasts during our travels, daughter.” He tilts his head and studies me. “Though I am anguished to learn Gideon has found you, I’m grateful that he saved you from the direwolves.”
“Oh, Papa, I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”
“I don’t want to say goodbye either.” As he stares at me, a lone tear cascades down his wrinkled face. “I wish I were strong enough to fight a highborn fae male. I hope… I hope you will forgive me for not rushing into the hallway to attempt to pierce his heart with a knife.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Papa. You tried your best to help me escape, and I will never forget.
” I reach for his face and wipe away the tear.
“Besides, if you meant to attack Gideon, I would try to stop you. Not because I don’t want any harm to come to him, but because I suspect he’s very hard to kill. He commands powerful winter magic.”
Papa nods and his expression becomes haunted. I suspect he’s already worrying about what will happen to me. I decide not to reveal my plans to escape Gideon, just in case the fae male is somehow listening in.
“I know this might provide little comfort to you, Papa, but Gideon has promised to keep me safe. He says he’ll never hurt me.”
“Fae males are protective of their mates,” he says.
“Possessive too. I suspect he’s telling the truth about keeping you safe and never hurting you.
The fae mating bond is said to be… sacred.
And powerful. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but perhaps one day you will come to care about Gideon.
” He displays a sad smile, one that I know is meant to comfort me, but it only causes more tears to fill my eyes.
My throat burns, and for a long while, I don’t say anything. Neither does Papa. We stand in silence, staring at one another as we share a quiet moment of grief.
“I suppose I’ll stay in Hollins,” he finally says. “I can’t bear the thought of returning to Braemar without you. Maybe Helena will eventually return to the house, and she can take over the place.”
“She’s alive,” I tell him, and a genuine smile tugs at my lips. I quickly explain what happened to Helena, though I’m sure I’m missing many details. “I’m fairly certain Gideon intends to take me to the Winter Court army’s encampment, so perhaps I’ll see her again soon.”
And just like that, a new idea springs to mind.
Maybe Helena and I can run away together. Maybe we can escape the bloodthirsty fae males who are holding us captive and find a safe place to hide.
At the very least, I’ll put my escape plans on hold until I speak with Helena.
I only pray she hasn’t developed feelings for King Theron, or worse…
mated with the fae royal. Convincing her to run away with me might be difficult in such a case.
Gideon mentioned that they might belong together, that she might be the reincarnated soul of his late mate, but I sincerely hope it’s not true.
“Am I correct in assuming the Winter Court army is no longer in Braemar?” my father asks.
“I’m honestly not sure. I-I haven’t asked Gideon.” My face heats under Papa’s assessing stare.
“Well, if the Winter Court army hasn’t departed Braemar yet, they will soon.
It’s said the fae armies only stay briefly in the human and orc settlements they conquer.
Though before they move on, a warden is appointed to rule over the town or city, and enough fae soldiers remain behind to help keep order. ”
I frown. “I know, Papa. I know… Braemar will never be the same again. Neither will any other settlements conquered by the fae.” I suspect he doesn’t think I know very much about the goings-on in the realm, but I always listened to the conversations of our customers in the bakery.
It’s how I first learned about the spread of ussha, long before the vegetation surrounding Braemar even held the faintest glimmer of the lifeforce of fae magic.
I withdraw the moneybag from my pocket. After stepping back, I press it into my father’s hands. “You must take this. If you are to stay in Hollins, you’ll need the funds to help you get settled. Please don’t argue with me. Just take it.”
His visage slackens with defeat and regret. He sighs and glances down at the moneybag. “Thank you, daughter.” He shoves the bag into his pocket, suddenly unable to meet my gaze.
“Papa, please know that I will always love you.” I smile and throw my arms around him, holding him tightly, wishing this wasn’t goodbye.
He wraps his arms around me, returning the hug. “Please be careful, Isabel. I believe that Gideon means to keep you safe, but the Winter Court army is filled with thousands of violent fae males, females too, who hold no affection for humans. Promise you’ll be careful.”
“I promise, Papa. I also promise we’ll see one another again.”