Chapter 11
ISABEL
I’m flying through the sky with a handsome fae lord.
Though this isn’t my first time flying with Gideon, something about it feels new.
Perhaps that’s because it’s daylight and I have a better view of the landscape—when I feel brave enough to peek out from his arms—but it’s also the knowledge that we are bound for the Winter Court army.
He’s taking me away from my people, away from my father and the only life I’ve ever known.
What if… what if I never escape him?
As he flies over strange mountains, forests, lakes, towns, and other landmarks I’ve never glimpsed before, I begin to feel more and more uncertain about the future.
When I lean into the bond, I experience glimmers of peace and belonging.
But the second that contentment falls over me, I’m quick to pull myself away.
Gideon’s thoughtfulness doesn’t help either.
He pauses frequently to give me breaks or to show me a particularly beautiful landmark.
He picks berries and nuts for me, and for lunch he cooks a freshly caught fish over a fire.
The ease with which he can catch a fish in a wide, roaring river with his bare hands leaves me stunned, and I can’t say I’m not impressed by his skill in preparing the fish and quickly building the fire.
Though he’s a highborn lord, he knows how to live off the land.
I suppose that’s why the pack he carries is rather light.
Though he flies slowly, the roar of the wind and his beating wings are still loud enough that it makes talking difficult, so we don’t converse very much while in the sky.
That, of course, leaves me with plenty of time to think.
Too much time, if I’m being honest. I long to clear my mind and push Gideon away from my thoughts entirely, but it’s impossible when he’s holding me close.
Safe. I’m starting to feel safe in his arms, and I don’t like it.
Surely it’s far too soon to experience feelings of safety in his presence, not to mention utterly foolish no matter how long we’ve known one another.
His people are in the process of settling in human and orc lands, conquering as they go.
Eventually, the fae will rule over the entire realm, and I fear the conditions under which my people will be forced to live.
I think of the words he spoke to me earlier in the day.
It’s the gods who’ve decreed that we are meant to be together. I cannot break the bond, just as you cannot sever it. Our mating union is inevitable. Eventually, you will surrender to me.
But I won’t surrender. I won’t. I promise myself I’ll stay strong and remember what Gideon is—a bloodthirsty fae male who helped conquer my people.
And he plans to keep conquering, plans to keep killing.
He’s taking me to the Winter Court army’s encampment, so surely that means he intends to reclaim his position as a commander.
It means he’ll continue leading soldiers into battle to kill more humans.
“Your thoughts are loud, little moth,” he calls into my ear, speaking just loud enough for me to hear over the rush of wind and the beating of his powerful, black wings.
“So are yours,” I shout. It’s true. All throughout the day, his thoughts and emotions have brushed against my mind in fleeting waves—possessiveness, satisfaction, and a deepening warmth that I don’t quite know what to do with.
Every time he tightens his hold on me or briefly brushes his lips across my forehead, I feel that strange current of affection through the bond, as well as his desire to protect me.
He chuckles. “Then you know I have no intention of letting you fall.”
“Very comforting,” I mutter in a wry tone.
But the truth is… it is comforting.
I hate that it is.
I’m supposed to fear him and loathe him.
Gideon adjusts his hold on me, presses another kiss on my forehead, and draws me closer against the cold leather of his chest as we soar over the endless ussha-blessed forest below. The wind whips at my hair, carrying the scent of pine, peppermint, woodsmoke, and freshly fallen snow around us.
We’re quiet for the rest of the day’s travels.
About an hour later, he flies toward the entrance of another mountain cave, and I can’t help but wonder how many secret bases the fae armies have hidden in the mountains.
Sure enough, as soon as we land, I catch sight of wooden boxes stacked in the cave, unlit torches, piles of weapons and furs, and other provisions.
I stand quietly in the middle of the cavern as Gideon sets down both our packs, removes his weapons belt, and places a protective barrier in front of the cave.
I watch as a line of frost appears on the floor, and I’m once again reminded of his great powers.
After that, he proceeds to light several torches and builds a fire.
My stomach growls, and I flush when he gives me a knowing look.
“Don’t worry, little moth, I plan to feed you soon.”
His eyes heat with desire in a way that makes me wonder if he plans to do more than feed me. I flush at the thought, and warmth instantly quakes between my thighs. My face burns hotter because I’m certain he knows… he knows I’m becoming aroused.
But I can’t help it. Everything about him entices me. Would I be attracted to him if it weren’t for the bond? Given how handsome he is, and the many kindnesses he’s shown me, I’m starting to think I might.
As he approaches me, the desire in his eyes shifts to a look of victory. I swallow hard and try to take a step back, but my feet don’t want to cooperate. My legs go weak, and my breath falters in my chest.
He reaches out, and I think he means to cup my face, but instead he delves his fingers into my hair and starts combing out my wind-whipped locks. With gentle movements and a reverent gleam in his eyes, he slowly combs the knots out of my hair.
I shiver with excitement as more heat surges to my core. A moan catches in my throat, and I find myself yearning to lean into his touch. Eventually, I do. Just a little. I tilt my head against his roving fingers and emit a soft sigh.
“Are you glamouring me?” I whisper. Surely he’s placed an enchantment of sorts on me. Surely I’m not thinking about surrendering to him of my own free will. Because right now… the idea of sharing a bedroll next to the fire with him is more appealing than ever.
“No, Isabel,” he answers in a tone that resonates with honesty. “I will never glamour you. I intend to win your devotion and your heart with my actions, not with trickery.”
Relief spreads through me. I believe him. Not because he promised never to lie to me, but because I can sense the truth as he speaks. At this moment, I can easily detect his emotions, and the tender regard he’s experiencing for me right now causes my throat to tighten.
“Most human females would not be happy to learn they are fated to belong to a fae male,” he says softly as he continues to comb his fingers through my hair, even though he’s already detangled my tresses.
“I do not blame you for resisting the bond, nor do I blame you for continuing to harbor thoughts of escape. I know you want to run away from me, little moth, but I also know you’re feeling conflicted.
And I know that right now, more than anything, you want me to pull you close and kiss you senseless. ”
I inhale a quick breath.
Before I can reply, he cups my face and presses his lips to mine.
His lips are cold but enticingly soft, and I savor the clash of my warmth against his winter chill. He coaxes my mouth open and slowly delves his tongue inside. But to my shock, his tongue is warm, and I startle briefly in surprise.
I hear his chuckle in my mind even though he doesn’t make a sound. Well, he moans a little, but he doesn’t laugh aloud. His deep, sensual moans fill my head, and as the kiss goes on, a whimper finally escapes my throat.
He shifts his hold on me and brings one hand to my lower back. He draws me against him, allowing me to feel the hardness of his perfectly sculpted body that’s encased in leather… and the unmistakable bulge of his shaft.
A sharp wave of heat pulses in my core, and I moan into his mouth as he deepens the kiss and holds me more firmly against him.
At some point during the kiss, my center jolts forward of its own accord, and I grind myself against his hardness without really meaning to.
A savage growl erupts from his chest, and he kisses me harder.
The bond feels stronger than ever, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe, just for tonight, I should give in to him. Not fully—I still feel it’s too early to allow Gideon to claim me—but perhaps we can explore one another’s bodies a little and share a bedroll.
At last, we pull apart. I’m panting breathlessly, and I notice he’s not unaffected by our kiss either. He stares at me hungrily, and I swear I feel his shaft throbbing against my stomach through the layers of our clothing. My face heats and the pulses between my thighs come faster.
“Yes, little moth, we can certainly explore one another’s bodies tonight.” His sudden wicked smile reveals that he feels no shame for having sensed my thoughts. “And of course we can sleep beneath the furs together. I look forward to holding you close all through the night.”
Oh, gods.
My heart beats faster.
Would it be so wrong to follow my desires just for one night? Maybe a few more kisses… and some touching. Maybe that’s all it will take to quiet my feverish longing, and then I’ll no longer burn so fiercely for Gideon. Going forward, it’ll be easier to push him away.
I sense his smirk in my mind, even though his expression hasn’t changed. He thinks it’s amusing that I might only need a few more kisses and caresses from him. He believes I need more, that I need everything, and he’s looking forward to proving it.