5. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
***** Demon *****
Twenty-four hours later, and I could still taste her. Not that I ever wanted to stop. But damn it, after round two came round three. Then I let her finally rest, only to wake her up again, six hours later, with round four. She hated me, because she wanted to return the favor, but she was in no position either.
Not that I didn’t want her, I very much did.
But she needed true rest. A break from her mind running wild. Because though she didn’t have nightmares, she still stirred a lot throughout the night, and it told more than enough.
That woman had far too much going on and she needed a safe haven.
Was I that?
I wasn’t sure.
I had my own problems and demons, but I could also say, with her around, they didn’t seem to be as big.
Because like I calmed her, she had the same effect on me.
Which was something new. Something I didn’t see then.
No, that wasn’t entirely true. I saw it, I just didn’t know how to define it.
“Are you going to stay outside all day?”
I turned my head to look at her and nearly lost my breath. Why was this woman so damn beautiful to me?
And in my shirt, I could gobble her up all over again.
But that was a dangerous road, one that would lead me right over a cliff and to my death. Because no matter what, this woman was still off limits to me, even if her dad never found out.
“Not all day. But it’s a beautiful afternoon. Sit down.”
I watched as she gingerly walked over to the seat. She was still limping, but the pain in her ankle had gone down and she was moving a bit more. The night she fell, it was almost impossible for her to put any weight on it at all.
“It’s serene,” she whispered, as if speaking would break the spell that nature had cast.
It wouldn’t.
I’ve done my fair share of yelling, cussing, and drunk spewing to know it was still the same peaceful place as always.
“It is. When I needed to heal a few years ago, this was ideal. No one bothered me. Sure, they checked up on me, made sure I was alive, changed whatever dressings I needed, but they also let me be.
“Josh Monroe was the older gentleman who found me that night. They didn’t hide my body far enough away that I couldn’t somehow walk somewhere. Sure, I almost didn’t make it. But Josh brought me here.”
“What happened?”
“He passed away two years ago. He was a chronic smoker, so lung cancer did him in. He helped me with the bike too. He was always impressed with my knowledge of bikes.”
“Dad was too, you know. He was so pissed at me after he had to do that to you. He didn’t talk to me for almost a year.”
“But you went to see him?”
She cocked her head as she looked at me, the question in her eyes and I wanted to groan. I stepped right into that one and I had no way to explain this one away.
“I would see you drive through. And then I would keep an eye out for when you go back through on your way home.”
“Sort of sounds like a stalker.”
“Says the woman who goes the long way to Las Vegas.”
“Hey!” she exclaimed, and I grinned. “It’s a beautiful drive. I love the forest.”
“That it is.”
We fell into an easy silence and then she sighed.
“I came this way because of you, Hugh.”
“Why me?”
“I knew you weren’t dead. I went for a drive the night that happened. I left my dad for days on end, in fact. I found you in the hospital, but I never said anything. Then I went to see my mom. When I came back through, one weekend shortly after you were out, I saw you on the side of the road. It’s why I made this trip. Just to catch that brief glance of you.”
“Those are some mighty big words, Brandi.”
“Nonetheless, they’re true.”
I sat there, staring at her, so comfortable in my home, in my space. It’s like she was always meant to be part of it.
Who was I kidding?
I had always wanted her to be part of it. I just didn’t think anything would ever come of it.
“Why?”
Her head popped up and she stared at me.
“Why what?”
“You’re so damn beautiful, so damn smart, so much better than the biker life your dad forced on you. You could be out there, making something of yourself with a husband, a family, something better than this.”
She threw her head back and laughed and I sat there, utterly entranced. I’m not sure I had ever seen that. She was carefree, vibrant, a damn star to rival the brightness of the sun.
She was mine.
I didn’t give a flying fuck who had anything to say, but I was not going to let this bright star escape me again.
“Why you, Demon?” She crossed her arms, almost wincing at that. “Why not? You think because you’re older that I wouldn’t be interested?”
“That’s a big part. I’m almost as old as your dad.”
“And the far better man between you two. I don’t have some hero complex with you, but you would never put me in danger. You would defend me, fight for me, protect me, all with your dying breath, and I know that.
“You’re smart, tough, but you’re also a teddy bear where it counts. You’re not afraid to step up, not worried about getting dirty, talented with your tongue, far beyond what’s done in the bedroom. You charmed many bikers from fighting or doing stupid things.
“You’re good with your hands. I mean, come on, you build bikes and built this beautiful cabin. Anyone with eyes can see just how amazing you are. And I never wanted kids, did you know that? It’s not for me. It’s not in my cards.
“But I can tell you the one thing I do want.”
“What’s that, Vixen?”
“A man to go on a Sunday bike ride with me. A man to lean over me, show me what to fix on my bike. A man to take my hand while we sit side by side and just let me be. A man who can quiet all the voices in my head.
“A man, Demon, just like you.”
***** Vixen*****
I could never understand why this man didn’t see himself like I did. But it was evident that my words struck something in him.
And I loved that.
I don’t know if he ever had anyone in his corner, but I could say that I would never give up on him.
I just needed him to be on board with seeing that too.
I know I was young; I wasn’t stupid. But it was never a problem for me. Though, I wasn’t sure if he was hung up on it.
A lot of men in the gang had women younger than them. The only difference? Most weren’t together for love; it was some type of agreement or something.
I wanted the feelings, the sticky, over-the-top, feel with it all your heart emotions. Not just something on paper. Which was why I know my dad would never agree with me being with Demon. Not that I cared.
After all the shit that happened ages ago, I was always okay with defying my dad, at least, to some degree. Hence the whole first kiss.
“You’re different, Brandi.”
“Damn right I am. But different isn’t bad, Hugh. I know I’m younger, I know what others think, what they claim I should want. I never wanted a wedding, or at least the big ass deal. I’d be okay just spending the days with you, never having a license to make it official. In my heart, I’d know the truth.”
“Your dad wouldn’t want that.”
“My dad can go screw himself. You think I’ve listened to that man.” I snorted, shaking my head. “The only reason I go see him is so that he doesn’t send someone out to bug mom and me. She’s happy in her life, so I go to shut him up.
“I spend my days on my phone or my laptop. And all he ever gets is just a few days, if even that. And when he does, it’s only for a few hours. You never picked up on that?”
I watched as he thought it over and then shook his head.
“Honestly, Brandi, I kept my distance when you were there, so I wasn’t hurting by seeing you.”
In some twisted way, that was really sweet. I mean, I would have loved him around more, but then, that could have been dangerous for both of us. I didn’t go down much to visit because I was worried about what would have happened. But I also think if I had ever seen him with another woman, I might have gone ballistic. And who knows what I could have done with him in a corner or on the makeshift dance floor they had.
Yeah, maybe it was better he wasn’t there.
“I guess I can understand that.”
“It was the greatest kind of torment to be around you and not touch you.”
“Come on Hugh, you can’t say something like that and not expect me to be giddy over it!”
“I like that it makes you happy. But you also have to understand my view. Brandi, you’re fifteen years younger. You could have had some young buck. I could never understand what you would want with an older man. I never even gave myself a hope, because at the end of the day, your dad would have killed me.
“And he almost did. Had I not been found, well, we wouldn’t be talking.”
I twisted my lip and nodded. I got it. Back then, it seemed almost impossible to do anything with this man. Which just proved how tight control my dad had on things, including my life. That was if he wanted it.
But it wasn’t like that anymore. Demon was out of the gang, and I was working on my way to not dealing with the man. Since I was never inducted, I could walk away without issues. Sure, my dad would be pissed, but I swear, I don’t think he cared. I think he just liked the power.
“I know it sounds stupid, but it wasn’t something I thought of.” I carefully turned to face him, wanting him to understand exactly what I was saying and the depth of emotion behind it.
“Not stupid.”
“When I kissed you, Hugh, I wanted to prove my feelings for you, that you meant something to me. That I wanted something more. I’ll be honest, I never saw my dad do stupid shit, though I know it was done. I thought his little pissants would do it.
“My dad never defended me, so I thought he was all talk with his guys about staying away. I wanted you, so I thought it was the best course of action. I waited for you to make a move, but you never did. I’m sorry. Really sorry, because I didn’t think about the consequences. That wasn’t me being young, that was just me being na?ve.”
“Oh, Babygirl,” he whispered, his hand cupping my cheek, bringing me closer so that his lips could connect with mine. I clutched onto his shirt, never wanting to let go. He was more than just my everything, and I so badly prayed he would see that, that he would accept the gift I was offering. “I know. You don’t have to be sorry. Do you think I would have changed anything?”
“I don’t know.” Even I could hear the heartbreak in those simple three words.
“No. I knew there was going to come a point where I couldn’t fight my feelings, Brandi. That was the night. You just took the control out my hands.”
He wrapped his arms around me and hauled me on his lap.
“If I didn’t want it to happen, you have to know I wouldn’t have kissed you back.”
“I do suppose that’s true.”
I felt his lips brush the top of my head and I couldn’t help but smile. It was such a simple, sweet, endearing action and I wanted more of it. More of him.
Hugh might have been a biker, but he wasn’t some mean, rough, tough, son of a bitch. Okay, he was, but he wasn’t an asshole. He was kind, caring, and even sweet. At least with me.
“Are you cold?”
“Yeah, the sun is dipping down.” I pulled away slightly to look at him. “Can we play pretend and do a very couplish thing?”
He lifted a brow but smirked.
“You don’t think we have been?” I smacked his chest, and he laughed. “What did you have in mind?”
“Can we sit on the couch, have some soda, and watch a chick flick or something?”