Chapter Nine – Star
”Chuck told me this is where you lived,” I explained to him. ”The guys were being super-noisy downstairs, so I thought I would be better off coming here than trying to sleep in that room. Where have you been?”
Jaxon didn’t seem to know what the hell to say to me, and I knew it must have come as a surprise to see me here after what had happened between us before. I probably should have given him some warning, but I got the feeling he would have tried to get out of seeing me if I had given him the chance, and I wasn’t ready to let him slip through my fingers again.
”I was out,” he replied, not moving to open his door. ”You should go back to your room.”
”I’m not going to get any sleep there,” I replied, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. ”You told me to keep out of Chuck’s way. That’s exactly what I’m doing, right?”
He eyed me for a moment, clearly trying to work out if there was some way to get rid of me, but he must have been able to tell from the look on my face that I wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t just about getting some sleep, though that was part of it – no, it was about being alone with him again, and picking up right where we had left off before.
That’s what I was craving right now. And that’s what I was reluctant to go without.
”Come in,” he muttered, and he unlocked the door and gestured for me to come inside. With a grin on my face, I did as I was asked. This was exactly what I had been hoping for, a chance to get him alone, a chance to have him to myself – not in the compound, but somewhere more private. Somewhere the two of us could be alone...
That kiss had been playing on my mind since the moment his mouth had found mine. I had never been kissed like that before in my life, and now I’d tasted a little of how good it felt to be that near to someone, I knew I couldn’t go without it again. I had been so hidden away in that home of mine, the house I’d grown up in, all the boys who had shown any interest in me losing it as soon as they found out who my father was and what they would have to go through to get close to me – I had never been further than a couple of chaste kisses, my virginity still completely intact.
But, I hoped, it wasn’t going to stay that way for long, not if I could help it.
He flicked on the lights, and I glanced over at him, admiring him in his motorcycle leather – his body beneath them was lean and strong, though it didn’t have tattoos on it, like I had expected. I wondered if there were tattoos hiding out somewhere on that body of his, somewhere I might come to discover if I got the chance.
The living room of his place, much to my surprise, was full of paintings, the walls crowded with them everywhere I looked. And, as I stepped closer to see what they were of, I was surprised to realize that they were depictions of Atwood.
”This is...this is the city, right?” I asked him, pointing to a piece that looked like a painting of the river that overlooked the south side of the city. ”Did you get these from a local artist?”
He shook his head slightly as he dumped his helmet on the couch beside him.
”No.”
”So how did you...?”
”I painted them.”
My eyebrows nearly shot off the top of my head.
”You painted them?” I asked, surprised.
”You don’t need to sound so shocked,” he remarked, a crooked smile curling up his lips.
”No, I didn’t mean it like that,” I blurted out, shaking my head. ”I just...I didn’t realize you were so talented, that’s all.”
”They’re not that good,” he remarked, stepping closer to me to look at the painting I was eyeing up. ”See, this one, the color is all wrong. I couldn’t mix it to match the tones on the water.”
”I love it,” I murmured, as I gazed at it. ”You know, my father had fundraisers at art galleries all the time, and I’ve seen so much stuff that’s nowhere near as impressive as this. You could make a living off of it, if you wanted to.”
”Yeah, I doubt that” he replied, shaking his head.
”Jaxon, I’m serious,” I told him, catching his hand before he could step away from me. ”These are good. Really good. Do any of the guys know you do this?”
”No,” he replied, as though it should have been obvious. ”It’s not an arts and crafts club.”
”Yeah, but you could display some of these at the tattoo shop,” I pointed out. ”You’d probably get more people coming in wanting to work with you if they knew that they’d have such a talented artist working on them.”
For a brief moment, his eyes softened. I could tell how much it meant to him, for someone to be talking about his work that way. Why did he hide it, when he clearly had so much talent, so much skill? The tattoo on my wrist, which was healing up well, could have been so much more elaborate, if I had known what he was capable of.
”Thanks,” he muttered. The two of us, alone in this apartment, surrounded by his art, suddenly felt so intimate to me – as though he was showing me a part of himself he tried his best to keep hidden from everyone else in his life. We were standing so close to each other again, and I could smell the scent of him, oil and wood and what was probably paint, now that I realized what he spent his spare time doing. I wanted to lose myself to it. It seemed so masculine, so strong, like I could have sunk into his arms right then and there and just forgotten about the rest of the world entirely.
”Jaxon?” I whispered to him. I didn’t know exactly how I was meant to do this, I didn’t know exactly what it looked like. But I knew I wanted him. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I had him.
”Yeah?” he murmured back, turning to face me, not pulling back this time.
”Will you...will you kiss me again?”
Those words hung there between us, and I could hardly believe I had been so bold as to say them out loud. But, as he lifted his hand to my face once more, that flood of tingles took control of me.
”Mhm,” he murmured, and he closed the distance between us, planting his lips against mine once more.
I let myself sink into him, allowing the sweetness of his embrace to cut me off from the rest of the world entirely – I just needed to forget about everything else, everything else except the way he touched me, the way he kissed me. Nothing else mattered – nothing else could have come close to mattering, not when he felt as perfect as this, not when I knew nothing would have been enough to break us apart. He kissed me, deeply, tongue slipping into my mouth, hands coming to the small of my back, and I reached with shaky fingers to grip on to his shoulders, unable to let him go.
”I want you,” he murmured against my mouth, his voice low with a desire that sent a shiver coursing helplessly through my spine. I arched myself into him, silently telling him that I wanted the same thing, too.
”Have you ever done this before?” he asked softly, as though able to sense that I was a little nervous, despite all this want. I shook my head.
”I...I’ve never been with a guy before,” I admitted, a little worried that it might put him off. But, instead, he just smiled, smoothing his hand over my hair.
”Then I guess I better make this special, huh?” he asked, as he sank his mouth into mine once more.
The tingles flooded down between my legs, my body telling me, without a shadow of a doubt, just how much I wanted this, just how badly I needed it. I had waited for so long for this moment, and now it was right here in front of me, it was almost overwhelming – but, at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel that flush of excitement getting the better of me, insisting that I take this to the next level.
He lifted me from the ground, guiding me with ease into his arms, and carried me to the bedroom next door – I looped my arms around his shoulders, gazing at him, hardly able to believe this was real, but, at the same time, knowing it had to be. I couldn’t have invented the way he was looking at me right now if I tried, the way those deep ocean-blue eyes seemed to sear themselves into my memory.
He laid me down on the bed carefully, an easel outlined in the window opposite us – he moved on top of me, hands on either side of me, and kissed me again, slower this time, taking his time, like he was savoring every second of it. I lifted my hands gingerly to his face, feeling his stubble beneath my fingertips, his roughness against my softness. My hips lifted from the bed almost on instinct, silently asking for more, and he lowered himself down onto me.
I could feel his hardness stirring through his pants, a sure sign that he wanted me – and the thought of him inside me sent a jolt of nerves and excitement through my body. He moved his mouth down, sliding his arms around me as we came together, his lips on my neck. Every new inch of me he touched,felt like I was lighting up for the very first time, like I had been asleep all along and now he was bringing me to life.
His hands slid to my waist, and he pushed up my shirt – I caught my breath, all of a sudden exposed, and he stopped.
”You okay with this?” he asked me, brushing his nose against mine, his eyes filled with concern for a moment. I let out a deep breath, and then nodded.
”Yeah,” I replied. ”I am...”
”Good,” he murmured. ”Because you look so fucking hot right now, I don’t know if I could stop if I tried...”
I let out a moan as he pulled the shirt over my head, unhooked my bra and tossed it aside. I had never been this exposed in front of anyone before, but, as he pulled back, and I saw the appreciative expression on his face, it didn’t feel like a bad thing to be laid out in front of him like this. He moved down, lips over my throat before he drew my nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing against me for the barest moment. I gasped, cradling his head in my arms, eyes closed as the soft light from the streetlights outside filtered through the window. I felt like I was the art he was creating right now, here in his bed, on his covers, wrapped up in each other until there was nothing else left but how good we felt...
He continued to undress me slowly, giving me a chance to pause between every item he stripped off of me, and kissed each inch of skin he exposed as though he could hardly believe I was allowing him to touch it. The sight of him on me like that, his lips on my skin, marking me like the tattoo he had already left on my wrist was everything to me. My whole body was trembling with want now, wetness flooding between my legs, as he finally sat up and pulled his shirt off, grinning down at me.
”Mmm,” I moaned, wriggling on the bed before him, lifting my hips as I silently pleaded to feel him inside of me. I couldn’t put it into words, but, judging by the look on his face, I didn’t have to.
He moved on top of me, kicking off his pants and his underwear, and tangled his legs around mine, so we were pressed together at the hips. I could feel his hardness pressed into me but I needed more – I needed to feel him inside of me, needed to have him, once and for all.
”You ready?” he asked, and I nodded, biting my lip as I gazed up at him. Ready didn’t quite seem like the right word. It was more than readiness, it was sheer, hungry neediness – it was the kind of desire that made everything else in the world just fall away completely, my body moving into some deep, primal mode that only wanted him.
He reached down to take his cock into his hand, and my eyes traveled downward to – watching him, taking him in, as he slowly planted himself at my entrance. My lips parted at the shock of the new sensation – it was unlike anything I had ever felt before, but not in a bad way, no, in a way like...in a way like I had been waiting for this for so long, I could hardly believe it was actually happening. I shifted a little further down the bed, allowing him in deeper, feeling him slowly begin to slip inside of me for the first time.
He didn’t rush, took his time, like he was savoring the sensation of being deep inside me. I had expected it to hurt, but it didn’t; at first, it was a little uncomfortable as my body adjusted to the newness of the sensation, but by the time he was all the way inside of me, I couldn’t deny how good it felt. He held himself there for a long moment, not moving, arms wrapped around me tight.
”How does it feel?” he asked, brushing his lips against mine.
”It feels...” I began, swallowing hard, trying to find a word to explain all the sensations coursing through my body right now. ”It feels so good.”
”You want more?” he asked. I could feel his breath, hot and quick, against my lips, and I nodded. And, slowly, he began to move inside of me.
I gasped, wrapping my arms around him, lifting my hips to press myself into him with even more need. The feeling was unlike anything I’d experienced before – not just physically, but mentally, too. Letting someone this close to me, letting someone inside of me, it was a little terrifying, but more than that, it felt good. It felt right. As though this was where I belonged, as though this was where I was safe – here, in his arms, with him inside of me, his breath on my neck, growing more and more ragged with each thrust.
The angle he was fucking me at was grinding against my clit the whole time, and the pressure was starting to grow too intense for me to ignore. I could feel the climax building inside of me, growing, and pushing to the point of no return, rising and cresting as I pushed myself against him and he pushed himself against me, both of us moving with the starved hunger of people who had been waiting for this our entire lives. I turned my head to kiss him again, our tongues coming together as though we were speaking some secret language to one another, a language that only the two of us could recognize...
”Oh!” I cried out against his mouth, as the orgasm suddenly rose up to take control of me. The climax coursed through my system, lighting every inch of me on fire in a single second, and I grasped onto his back, pulling him deep inside of me, needing to feel him there as I came. He didn’t move, holding himself within me, staring deep into my eyes like he was drinking in the sight of me like this.
A few moments later, as I clenched around him in helpless waves of pleasure, I felt him finish inside of me. He groaned deeply, the sound coming from someplace deep inside of him, and he wrapped his arms around me to pull me even closer.
I wanted to lose myself to this moment, more than anything – I wanted to forget that there was anything outside of this, anything other than the feel of his strong arms around me, pulling me close, holding me tight.
His heart was pounding against my chest – I could feel it, the closeness between us was almost more than I could take as he held himself inside of me, filling me with his seed. I had never felt intimacy like it.
And I knew, in that moment, that I was addicted – that there was no way I would be able to settle for less. I pressed my head into his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him, wishing I could just lose myself here forever.
But I knew there was still so much in the outside world we had to deal with before I could even come close to that. I felt his heart beating against mine, matching mine, and I trie, for the time being, to focus on this moment.
Because what followed? Yeah, I had no idea what that would look like. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.