18. Michelle
18
MICHELLE
“ W here is this?” I gasp as I stumble back out of the van, with Alexander pulling my arm the whole time. “Where are we?”
“This is my house, Michelle. Have you never seen my American home? Don’t worry, you’re going to love it. Let’s just get inside, and I can give you a giant tour of the place. You’re going to love it. I mean, it’s nearly as big as my Russian mansion.”
I’ve never seen Alexander’s home, but I’ve heard about it. Many important people want to keep him on their good side, which is why he’s so freaking wealthy and powerful. It doesn’t shock me that he’s got a giant base here too. He wants to show himself off. He’s all about status and about being feared. Well, right now, I’m scared shitless.
“Oh, I’m so excited to show you everything.” Alexander claps his hands together like a little fucking child, which makes me know how much he’s acting. This big, scary dude is an asshole with the coldest heart ever. This is to put me on edge and scare me. “You are going to see just what being compliant in our organization will get you. Because you know you fucked up, right?”
As Alexander gives me a side-eyed, slightly evil look, I know what I need to say. “Yes, of course I know that. I just… I got scared, that’s all. I thought that I would be able to do all this spy stuff when I came here, but it’s too much for me.”
I don’t know what my thought process is because he isn’t going to feel sorry for me. A man like him doesn’t have any empathy. He isn’t going to like me for my weaknesses. He’ll hate me for not being what he needs of me.
“Oh, I know, but I’ve covered for you. You don’t need to worry about any of the big guys finding out about your running.”
Uh-oh. This doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t matter whether he’s covered my ass or not. It’s going to cost me, no matter what. I shrink in on myself, wishing that I wasn’t inside this man’s house now. I wish I hadn’t let myself be pulled inside Alexander’s van. This is torture. I kinda wish he would just fucking kill me already because this is overwhelming. It’s just too much. I already know that I’m going to end up dead. It’s just being dragged out in a horribly painful way. Alexander wants me to be punished in the worst possible way. He’s going to make me really see what I did wrong, as if I don’t already know.
“Er, right. Are you, erm, sending me back to Russia, then?” I say, just to say something. “For more training?”
“Oh, no, you aren’t going anywhere.” Alexander’s smile twists up angrily. “You’re staying here to work for me.”
“But I don’t know if I can do it,” I remind him quickly. “That’s what made me panic in the first place. That’s why I freaked out.”
“You want to live?” he growls, anger rolling off his tongue. “Or you want to dig your own grave right now? Because I’m trying to be nice about it. I brought you to my mansion and I offered to give a tour of the place. I gave you a lifeline. Even though you fucked me over and caused me all kinds of issues, I’m giving you another try. But I’ll only do that once.”
“I… I…” Fucking hell, sickness swirls in my stomach. I don’t want to do this, but I can’t really see any other outcome.
“I need you to speak to this guy.” Alexander slaps a photo down in front of me of an old guy. “He’s very close to the American president and he has a lot of information that we need. You’re going to get the right documents from him…”
“I don’t know, Alexander, this feels like a very important job, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”
“You are .” He thumps the table in front of me so hard he almost cracks it. “You’re doing this, Lebedev, whether you like it or not. You’ll get this information for me, no matter what you think about it right now. You’ll find a way. I don’t care what you have to do. I don’t even give a shit if you have to take a knife to this guy’s throat and slash it. You’re going to do it. It’s the only way I’ll keep you alive. And I would like you to remember that you aren’t the only person with your life here, are you?”
I fall into silence with this one. This is an outright threat and it was one that I would take seriously. If he wasn’t just talking about me ending up dead, then I needed to be more careful. I couldn’t risk others. “Okay, okay. I understand.”
“You want your father and brother to go the same way as your mother?” I snap my eyes up to meet Alexander’s. Is he confirming what I already suspect? That my mother didn’t just die but that she was killed by these assholes? But not to punish her, to punish my father for not doing what was asked of him by corrupt people. My poor father who didn’t want any of that, as far as I was aware, anyway, but who got roped into it a bit like me. “No, you don’t, do you? You don’t want them dead.”
“I don’t want anyone to die because of me,” I whisper back. “Please, don’t hurt my family. I’ll do anything.”
“I wasn’t going to do the dirty work myself.” He tosses his head back and laughs nastily. “You know I don’t do the dirty work with my own hands, but I have plenty of people who can do that for me. You know that as well as I do.”
I gulp back my terror and nod. Of course I know the extent to which Alexander’s reach stretches. I’m no idiot. So, this really leaves me with no choice. If it were only me who could end up dead, then that would be one thing, but I can’t let anyone else die because of me. I can’t let my dad and brother suffer any more than they already have because I’m too scared.
“Okay,” I eventually whisper. “I’ll do whatever you need me to. Please, don’t hurt anyone. I’ll do what you need.”
“I’m glad to hear you back on board,” Alexander replies with a stern tone of voice. “But how can I know that you’re going to do a good job? You really don’t have any room to fuck up again, Michelle. There can be no more messing around. I need these documents from you. You have to make this happen. I need you to understand what this means.”
“I get it, I get it,” I whisper. “I have too much on the line. I’ll do whatever I can to make it work.”
“Good, you'd better make me proud. This will take the real seductress in you.” He comes closer to me, his breath brushing over my face making me feel a little bit sick, to be honest. “I know you’ve been practicing it with that idiot living with you. So, it isn’t like you’re not going to be able to do this, is it? My little sex kitten. You’re going to be just fine.”
I shudder painfully, half from the patronizing, disgusting name that he just called me, and half from the fact that he somehow knows about me and Jordan. He’s been watching me for a very long time, and much too closely for my liking. All the times that I’ve tricked myself into believing that I’m safe, too many times, when Alexander has had his beady little eyes upon me.
“Tell me that you’re going to be fine.” Alexander stands behind me and sneaks his hands onto my shoulders. They might not be quite wrapped around my throat, but the threat is there and it’s very real. He would happily kill me right now. “I need to hear it.”
“I… I’ll be just fine,” I hiss back. “If my family is on the line, then I’ll find a way to make it happen, Alexander.”
“Good.” His hands move a little closer. He isn’t quite letting me go just yet. I can see him really driving the point home. “That’s what I want to hear. I need a little more from you, Michelle. You have to make up for all the fuck-ups you’ve done.”
“Right, okay, I get it.” He tightens his grip. He’s only just blocking my airways, but because I’m in a terrible state of panic, it’s a million times worse. I claw desperately at his hands, needing him to let the hell go of me already. “I get it, Alexander.”
Finally, he releases me, and I lean forward, gasping for air like there’s no tomorrow. He chuckles gruffly to himself, glad that I’m getting it now, glad that I’m scared enough to do whatever the hell he wants me to do. Whatever it might be.
“Good. Well, Michelle, I really am going to show you around the house now because you’re going to be staying here for the night. For the foreseeable future, actually. I need you where I can keep an eye on you. I don’t want any more shenanigans. Of course, there are tons of cameras and the locks are incredible, so there’s no point in trying to escape.”
“I wouldn’t,” I snap back, knowing that’s exactly what he wants for me. “I wouldn’t do that. Not now.”
“Right, good. Then we can go over the exact details for what I want you to do later on tonight with this case…”
“Tonight?” Yes, the sooner the better, I suppose, but at the same time, I’m nowhere near ready for this.
“Yes. And don’t you worry about only having this drab clothing to wear. I have some items for you.” Of course he does. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “We need this information sooner rather than later. We also need to keep a step up on your man. Although it won’t matter soon. Jordan and Max will end up dead soon enough. They know too much.”
I clutch onto my stomach hard. I don’t want either of the men who have helped me to die. I don’t want Jordan to be killed because of me. I like him so much, in so many different ways, and I can’t stand the idea of his being dead. But I can’t argue it with Alexander. That will only make him even more determined to take Jordan down. I just have to remind myself that Jordan was a Navy SEAL, that he and Max both know what they’re doing, so they will probably be fine. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t put anything past Alexander. He is one cold sonofabitch. But maybe tonight, I can somehow change things.
I don’t know what my plan is yet. I haven’t formed anything in my mind other than to act like I’m willing to submit to everything that Alexander wants from me. When I get a chance and when I can guarantee that my family will be okay, then I’ll do what I can to get myself away. I would love a chance to see Jordan once more to explain what happened, because he’ll likely blame himself for my getting away, but I don’t know if that’s going to be possible.
If Jordan is being watched, then I’ll be putting him in danger by going to him. Both of us, to be honest. I might have to find a way to vanish completely somehow, get away from everyone forever.