Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Noah
I re-read Tori’s letter on the flight, analyzing every word.
We have exchanged letters over the years, and there have been so many times I wanted to run to her.
But she asked for space, and I needed to respect it.
I know she was leaning on me, but truthfully, I liked it.
I felt needed, I felt useful, and I wanted to save her because I think she may have also been saving me.
I don’t think it really hit me until Tori walked away, leaving me without a distraction, how badly I was drowning in my grief and my guilt over what happened.
I think Jack saved my life that day I called him, and he came.
Over time, I opened up to Brad and Harry, but never told them the full extent of my struggles.
I didn’t want to worry them. I knew I needed a change, but I wasn’t ready to walk away, so I put in a transfer for the special forces.
I needed something that would keep me away and keep me moving, because when I stopped, all I thought about was Tori or Scotty.
It took time, but I channeled my energy into something worthwhile.
I worked my way up the ranks quickly in the special forces.
I’ve lost count of how many countries I’ve been to, how many lives I’ve taken, and how many I’ve saved.
It’s all part of the job, a job that gives me a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning and keep trying.
A heavy weight has laid in the pit of my stomach since I landed.
I’ve questioned if I am making the right choice.
My entire job revolves around choices. Sometimes you make a bad one, and sometimes you make the right one, and most of the time I was confident that I had made the choice that felt right at the time.
I ruled with my head. But this choice, this one was ruled entirely by my heart.
I pay the driver and step out of the cab, before placing my dress hat on.
I take a deep breath before climbing the steps up to the tall white building.
I follow the signs for the room I need, and I’m met with staff members welcoming me and thanking me for my service.
I might seem tall and confident on the outside, but inside I’m shaking like a leaf.
I think about turning around, letting my nerves get the better of me, but I round the corner and hear the voice that haunts my dreams. When I tuck myself behind a staff member at the back of the ballroom.
I see her face, and it steals my breath.
Tori is wearing a one-shoulder emerald green dress, her hair flowing, and the compass necklace sparkling under the spotlight focused on her. Relief washes over me.
She never forgot me and our time together.
She looks more beautiful, more confident, and more elegant than I could have imagined. My chest blooms with pride. She was right to walk away, and I was right to let her go, even if it was the most painful thing I’ve ever done.
But now I worry that coming here to surprise her may have been a mistake. I caused her enough pain in the past, but the need to check on her became unbearable, so now I’m standing here, watching her address the room and I have to decide: do I stay, or do I silently walk away?