Chapter Forty-Four
Tori
I pull up to the house I spent so many years visiting, but one I have avoided for more than I should have.
The old white farmhouse looks more worn and tattered than I remember. It is in need of a lick of paint, the dead flowers removed from their flower boxes, and the grass is no longer the bright shade of green I remember.
My heart almost stops completely when I see Trent’s old red pickup truck at the side of the house.
From the rust around the doors and the dust and rain stains that cover the metal, I’m sure it’s been there since the day he left it.
We had so many fun times in that truck over the years, and I wait for the pain to sear my heart and my body to crumble, but it doesn’t come.
Sure, there is a pain, an ache for him that may never fully go, but now I can smile when thinking about him and the times we shared, instead of spiraling into a pit of darkness.
Maybe this is what true healing feels like?
I exit the car and straighten my dress as I take slow steps up to the house. My boots crunch against the gravel path, and when I reach the stairs that lead to the porch, I take a centering breath and take them one at a time, preparing myself for a conversation I should have had a long time ago.
The squeak of chains has me turning my head to the left, and there, swinging in her old porch swing, knitting what looks like a blanket, is Trent’s mom.
“Cora?” I say on a shaky breath.
She stops swinging but doesn’t turn to face me.
“Hey, it’s me,” I say softly, taking steps toward her.
She turns and stills when our eyes meet.
Cora Scott has always been a naturally beautiful woman, with big green eyes and the same sandy colored hair as her son, but now she looks older than her sixty years, and her frail frame makes me want to scoop her up and take care of her.
Guilt punches me in the gut. I should have checked in; I should have done more to help her.
“Tori, is that really you?”
I nod, unshed tears pooling in my eyes.
“Come over here, my girl,” she says as she stands on shaky legs.
I wrap my arms around her. She’s taller than my 5ft 6 frame and so slight I could wrap my arms around her twice. Her long, thick cardigan hides the bones I can feel protruding, and my heart hurts for this woman who has suffered more loss in her short life than anyone should have to.
I never told Cora about the baby. I didn’t feel the need to add more heartache to her plate.
Family was everything to her, and to know she lost her son and her grandchild, I felt was a pain this woman didn’t need.
She lost her husband when her children were small and remarried a drunk who has never helped her.
She pulls back and takes me in. “You look well. How are you doing?”
‘I’m good.” I sniff.
“Come sit,” she says, taking me by the hand. She gestures to the porch swing, and I take a seat beside her. She lifts a pitcher of iced tea. “Tea?”
“Please.” I look out at the rolling green hills, the sun beginning to set behind the mountains. “I forgot how beautiful it is here,” I say as I lean back.
“So, what brings you to town?” Cora questions, taking a sip of her tea.
“I erm, I’m visiting a friend,” I say nervously, lifting my own glass of tea to my lips.
Cora eyes me suspiciously with a slight grin.
I clear my throat. “How have you been?” I ask, needing to take the focus off me.
“I’m doing okay, sweetheart. Time is a healer, but I miss him, I miss them, every day.”
I chew the inside of my cheek and anxiously wring my fingers together.
“How’s Savannah doing? I bet she’s all grown up now?” I ask with a smile. Savannah, Trent’s little sister, was barely a pre-teen when he passed.
Cora chuckles. “All grown up and causing me no end of trouble. She’s away visiting friends two towns over. I’m sorry you’ve missed her. She’d have loved to have seen you.”
“And Mark, how’s he?” I ask, referring to the drunk she remarried.
“Oh, sweetie, I kicked that man out a few years back.”
I let out a sigh of relief.
“I should have done it sooner. Trent hated him. But sometimes we have to wait until we are ready to make a change. We can’t force it.”
I let her words sink in, understanding them all too well.
She pats my leg and smiles. “So, tell me all about your life. I hear you moved to London.”
I narrow my eyes, wondering how she knows.
“Yes, I work for my dad’s security company. I love it.”
“And that twin brother of yours, he’s settled down now?” I chuckle. “Yes, Harry’s married now to the perfect girl. He’s happy.”
She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. “And what about you, are you happy?” she asks, searching my face.
I nod slowly. “Yes. I wasn’t for a really long time, but now I can finally say that I am.”
She smiles a smile that finally reaches her eyes and strokes my hair in that motherly way.
“My son loved you with his whole heart. I know he wasn’t very good at saying it, or maybe even showing it.
He was a wild one, a free spirit. But the way he looked at you, the way he talked about you, you grounded him in ways no one else ever could. ”
A lone tear trickles down my cheek as I listen.
“I loved your son. Very much. And I miss him every day.” I sniff.
“I know you did, and I’m so grateful he had you. But don’t let the love you had for him stop you from falling in love again. It’s okay to fall in love again, Tori. You’re too young, too beautiful, and have so much to live for to let your spirit die with him.”
I close my eyes, the tears now rolling thick and fast. She swipes them away in that tender way only a mother could.
“I’m scared to,” I say, never having admitted those words out loud.
“I know, sweetie. But love is scary. Hell, life is scary. But don’t let the fear win. There is someone out there who wants to love you in all the ways you deserve to be loved. So let him.”
She releases the hold she has on me and takes a sip of her tea as I try to digest the words she didn’t say.
Does she know something?
“I’m sorry about the state of the place. Noah has been away so much, he hasn’t been able to stop by to spruce the place up in a while.”
I blink rapidly. “Noah? He comes to see you?” I say with a stammer.
“Oh yes, Noah comes round when he can. Does odd jobs. Built that shed out there.” She points to what looks like a newly built shed that’s been painted an olive green. “He fixed this porch swing, replaced the doors on the old barn, and so many more things.”
I sit there trying to understand. Noah has been helping Trent’s mom all this time?
“He helps me around the farm, and I pay him with home-cooked meals and motherly advice.” She says it with a wink, and my breath gets caught in my throat.
Oh, she knows.
“I erm…” I am at a loss for words.
“Noah was a very lost soul when you left for London, but he knew it was what you needed. It took him a long time to let go of his guilt, but he got there. I told him what I just told you. Just promise me you will both listen to this wise old woman.”
My heart races, my hands tremble as I try to get a grip on my emotions.
“I need you to see something.” She disappears inside and comes out clutching a familiar-looking piece of paper. She hands it to me and points to a section. “Read that.”
I swallow the thick lump in my throat and read the line with a shaky voice.
“... and I need you to remind Tori it’s okay to move on.
I need her to move on and fall in love again because she is too beautiful and too special to live this life alone.
She deserves someone who will live life with her, show her the world, and love her in all the ways I haven’t been able to. Please remind her of that.”
My hand covers my mouth as I fight back the sob that wants to break free. It hurts my heart to read the letter from Trent, but at the same time, it’s as if I now have the blessing I have craved in order to move on.
Trent’s mom takes me by the hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Life is so short, Tori, so love loudly while you can.”