Chapter 40 Gable #2
Ella glances up at me, and I release her hand, only to put my arm around her waist.
“Ella is staying in my room.”
Bastian doesn’t miss a beat. “Not a problem. Your room is always ready.”
Hunter, on the other hand, frowns gently. I ignore him and hope Ella doesn’t notice, because I know he’ll have strong opinions about this.
“Do you want to sleep, Gibson?”
She shakes her head. “I want to look at the drive.”
We gather in Hunter’s office, Ella still in her pajamas, her body close to mine. Hunter is sitting at his desk and we’re behind him. Bastian has left for the day, and Motor has already curled up on his bed in the corner of the room.
“Ready?” Hunter asks as he slips the drive into his laptop.
I nod tightly, and Ella presses herself into my side.
“Ready,” she whispers.
Hunter opens it, and we’re presented with a single file. A spreadsheet. It loads quickly.
It’s a list of names, addresses, and dollar figures.
“What is this?” Hunter mumbles, scrolling. There are hundreds of names, the list seemingly never ending. “I don’t recognize anyone. Do you?”
I lean my hand on the back of his chair to get a closer look. No name rings a bell; they all seem totally random. The only thing they have in common is that every address is in California.
“Wait …” Ella frowns. “Can I sit?” Hunter nods and stands, and Ella takes his place. She scrolls for a few seconds, brows pinched together. “Oh my God.”
“What?” I ask.
“They’re all cops.” She points to a name.
“I know this guy, this woman … her, and him and … I’ve met some of them.
” She Control and Fs, then types in a name: Deacon Watts.
RoboCop. He comes up, so does an address, and a figure of close to thirty-five grand.
Ella looks up at me. “Could these be bribes?”
“Who the hell could have this many cops working for them?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but if this list got out, whoever has been paying them will lose a hell of a lot of power,” Hunter says. “We can’t function without having eyes on the inside. They’d be well and truly fucked.”
“I guess that explains why they wanted you,” I add, looking at Ella. “If the police chief’s daughter got her hands on this?”
She lets out a shaky breath. “They know I’d go straight to my dad.” She taps the desk thoughtfully. “Which is exactly what I’m going to do.”
As she stands and rounds the desk, I take her wrist. “Ella, you need to think about this. This is serious.”
“I’m well aware, Gable. I was front row and center for tonight’s fun.”
My jaw tenses. “You do this, you’re signing your death warrant.”
“And what’s the other option?”
Something I’ve been thinking about the entire ride here. Something that keeps us safe.
“I get you out of the country. You start a new life.”
Her eyes widen. “You want to run? After everything?”
“Yes, I do.”
The rage that crosses her face is one I’m familiar with, so I don’t let it burn me. She snatches the hard drive out of the laptop.
“These people are criminals. They’re liars. They deserve to go to prison.”
She whirls to leave, but when I speak again, she freezes.
“So am I,” I say, and she keeps her back to me. “I’m worse than them.”
When she faces me, she’s still angry, and I can’t blame her. But this is something we have to face, don’t we?
She’s good, I’m not.
She’s innocent, I’m not.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Hunter says, and leaves.
We stand in silence, avoiding arguing when it’s one of the few things we’re good at doing. Ella runs her fingers through her hair and goes to the window, the cut on her cheek highlighted by the glowing lamp.
Pain she endured because I couldn’t keep her safe.
But I won’t let that happen again.
“We have to do this, Gable. We have to do it for Asher.”
I run my hand down my face and try to keep my cool. I’m not used to asking for anything. I demand, I get, because I know what’s right, especially in a situation like this.
“I’m not saying that we won’t get our revenge, Ella. I’m saying I’ll get you out, make sure you’re safe, and I’ll do this alone.”
She faces me, and her eyes shine. “You want to separate.”
Separate. It feels too intimate a word. Like we have something to split, like she’d notice the tear.
I fold my arms. “It was always going to end this way, wasn’t it?
Were we supposed to run off into the sunset together?
” My words cut, and I hate myself for it.
They scatter like shards of glass, butchering my heart, but it’s needed.
“There’s a reason you were with my brother first. He deserved you.
He was good to you. You were never supposed to be mine, Ella. You were always Asher’s.”
A tear falls down her cheek, and it takes every bit of strength I have not to kiss it away and take it all back.
“So, that’s it?” she asks, brushing away the drops on her face.
I nod. “That’s it.” Her lip trembles, and she looks down. “Hunter will show you to a guest room. It’s easier that way. We’ll leave in the morning.”
Every step I take from her shatters a heart I honestly didn’t think I had.
I fought for her. Bled for her. Would have died for her.
More than that, I’d have lived for her.
I’d have stepped out of the darkness and let myself be happy for her. Left this all behind.
But that’s what’s good for me, not for her.
I reach my room, needing the quiet, the silence, because I’m choking on everything I’ve just said.
“You’re an ass.”
I turn, and Ella is in the doorway, her face wet with tears.
My sigh is exasperated. “Ella, just—”
“You’re right: Asher deserved me. He was special. And wonderful, and kind, and everything a person wants. I’ve written a dozen Ashers. He was a dream. Perfect.” I grit my teeth against the jealousy swarming my gut. “You know what you are, Gable?”
I steel myself for this, because I expected it from day one. The anger. The resentment. Her hate.
“What? Tell me.”
She searches my face. “You’re better than my imagination.
” My gaze snaps to hers, and fresh tears roll down her cheeks.
“You make me feel things I didn’t even know I could.
You brought me to life when I thought I’d died.
I cared for Asher, I will always treasure the time I had with him, but …
” She lets out a sob and presses the back of her hand to her mouth. “I love you, Gable.”
The words stun me into silence. I don’t move, don’t blink, can hardly breathe as she watches me.
“I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.” She closes the space between us. “Don’t leave me.”
I never expected to hear those words from anyone but Asher or Hunter, and even then, I didn’t deserve them. Asher deserved a better brother, Hunter a better son, and Ella deserves a better partner.
“It’s only a matter of time before I fuck up your life,” I say.
“Stop it. Stop that,” she whispers. “Why don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
“Because I don’t.” My voice is sharp, my meaning clear.
I don’t want to ruin you. “Look what I’ve done with my life.
I’m a murderer. I’ve never done a single fucking good thing.
I ruin whatever good I get. Look at Asher.
Look at you.” I cup her cheek, the mark glaring against her skin.
“I don’t want to ruin you anymore, Ella.
You’re too good. Too good for me, too good for the shit life I could give you. ”
“It isn’t about the life you could give me, Gable.
It’s about the life we build together.” Her lip trembles, and her breath shakes.
“Maybe apart we’re a mess, but together …
together we’re a team. Life is really fucking shitty sometimes, and I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but there’s no one else I want to go through it with.
” My heart aches with every word, and I rest my forehead against hers.
“I can’t imagine my life without you in it. ”
She presses her lips to mine, and I taste her tears, her promises, the future she wants. With me. She wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her body into mine, and I deepen the kiss.
“I love you,” I whisper against her lips. “I love you so fucking much.”
Words I’ve only ever said to Asher. Words that only seemed to matter with him.
Now, they mean something entirely different, but just as fucking much.
I love her, even though I shouldn’t.
I need her, even though it might not work.
I’ll keep her, even though she deserves more.
The moment is everything. It’s a rush I thought I could never feel, a kind of hope I’ve only ever experienced as a kid dreaming of more.
Anything feels possible.
Everything feels possible.
With her.
“You really love me?” She sobs out the words.
“I don’t just love you, Gibson. I wish for you.”