4. Drew
Drew
I blindly search for the snooze button as my early-morning alarm screams from somewhere under the covers. Sleep was non-existent last night because of the combination of emotions that swarmed my mind. All of them circled around one single thought.
I have a daughter.
After Declan dropped that little bomb on me, all hopes of rest evaporated. Why on God’s green Earth would Leila not tell me? I screwed up phenomenally where she is concerned, but she has to know I would have done—would do—everything I could to help her.
Unless...
I shoot up in bed, groaning as every inch of my lower back spasms with the quick movement, and open my voicemail.
I never listened to the messages Leila left me.
They were both about two months after our last night together.
I was dealing with the aftereffects of my surgeries, shut down and not really talking to anyone about what had happened.
Since no one except our brothers knew about our relationship, it wasn’t like I could have explained heartache to Jace or Noah.
My heart drops into my stomach as I play the first message.
Hey. It’s me…not sure how to tell you this.
Not sure if you’ll even listen to it. But I just took a test, and it came back positive.
So, I took a whole box of them to make sure they weren’t faulty tests or something.
I’m pregnant, and I’m freaking out, and I don’t know how to tell Gavin.
He might actually disown me for this. Or murder you.
Could really go either way. Crap, now that’s another thing to worry about.
I could really use one of your peptalks right about now…
Anyway, I don’t expect anything from you.
If I don’t hear from you, I’ll take that as your answer.
The second one is a booted kick to the nuts.
Hey, Drew. Me again. It’s the last time, I swear.
Gavin told me a little about what you’re dealing with.
Hoping this news may give you a boost. Our little peanut is a girl.
Found out yesterday. I’m still beyond terrified, but I’m talking with Kristen every week over video chat.
I’m doing this, whether you want to be a part of it or not. You know how to reach me.
And now she’s here. They are here.
Leila told me, but I was too focused on my own pain to read a single text message—and there’s a ton of those, too, now that I’m scrolling through them. Even though she never heard from me, she still sent screenshots of ultrasounds and updates. She never quit trying to reach out.
How the hell am I supposed to face them after I abandoned them?
***
“About time you showed up,” Jace chirps as I step off the last stair into the gym.
The dude must have been a golden retriever in a past life.
He’s always too happy-go-lucky, even at five thirty in the morning.
Although I know he feels it, the only visible sign of his concern is the flick of his eyes to the back brace around my waist before he makes eye contact again.
“Don’t know why I agreed to this. Did you even go to sleep?” I ask as I begin bouncing on the balls of my feet, trying to get blood flowing and the bone-deep tiredness pushed out. Bypassing his offered roll of tape, I slip my hands into my quick wraps.
“Did you?” he shoots back before stepping up to the heavyweight bag hanging in the corner of the room and starting a sequence of one-two combinations.
I step in to hold the bag steady as his hits increase in force. “Not a lick. Watch your knee on the follow-through.”
He pauses long enough to adjust his feet and reangle his body before returning to his left jab–right cross pattern, adding in the occasional left hook as his muscles loosen.
After a few minutes, he backs away, still bouncing on his toes. “Swap me.”
I start with the same pattern but with a fraction of his power.
I’ve only been cleared for physical workouts for a month, and the muscles are slow to rebuild.
I’m not anywhere close to peak fitness yet.
I continue with the combination sequence, noting the stiffness throughout my core as I rotate through a punch.
“You’re tight today.”
My noncommittal grunt gives him the hint that I don’t want to talk. He knows it. It’s the same sound he’s heard for the nearly thirty years of our friendship. And yet, he still pushes.
“Not in the mood for that’s what she said comebacks, I take it. Okay, how about this? The word on the street is the Barretts moved back yesterday. Did you know? Kelsey was ecstatic when Gavin called last night. How long you think until they finally tie the knot?”
I swing harder than intended on the added left hook and let out a curse as it sets fire to my shoulder.
The broken bones may have healed thanks to hardware, but the tendons and ligaments haven’t been as kind.
Jace immediately tunes in to my reaction, slipping into the caretaker role he’s been known for our entire lives.
Maybe he’s more Anatolian shepherd than retriever.
“You need to take a break, man?” he asks, already stepping toward the cooler in the corner.
Instead of answering, I ask another question. “What else did Kelsey say?”
He shrugs. “Not much. We may be twins, but she’s loyal to a fault and hasn’t shared any details of why they’re back.” Pulling an ice pack from the cooler, he tosses it to me before stepping back up to the bag. “Besides, figured you’d know more.”
I try to school my features even though shock courses through my body. He can’t know, can he? I made certain never to mention our time together, but there’s no telling what might have been said when I was recovering. Many of those days and weeks were a blur.
“What do you mean?”
“Dec is still friends with Gavin, yeah? I just assumed he’d have told you more. Besides”—he grins— “we all figured you and little Leila Barrett would end up married and raising the next generation of colt breakers and cowgirls taking over the ranch.”
I huff a laugh, even though this conversation is far from humorous.
His words? That was the plan.
I had it all worked out. Where we’d live. How I’d propose. What she’d look like in a simple white dress with our friends and family surrounding us.
Now, I’ll be lucky if Gavin Barrett doesn’t kill me on sight for what I did to his little sister.
I undo the Velcro of my brace then sling it over the stair railing before grabbing a towel and wiping my face and neck as I settle onto one of the benches. Luckily, no one else in town is stupid enough to hit the gym at this hour on the weekend.
I take a deep breath. “Remember those trips to Tennessee I was making with Declan?”
“Yeah, that last one is when shit hit the fan between you two.”
“I wasn’t going for ranch reasons. The guys up there can easily load horses for him. I was making up bullshit excuses to tag along because he always met up with Gavin at least once while we were there.”
I can almost hear the gears turning in Jace’s mind as he pieces it all together.
“Y’all went once a month for a while. You always came back lighter, except for that last time.” I swear I can actually see the light flip. “No! You and Leila? Little Leila who you had the biggest crush on when we were kids?”
I grimace at his excitement, knowing I’m about to douse it with my next words. “Nothing I say leaves this bench.”
And I tell him everything. The secret relationship, getting caught, finding out about the baby. All of it.