Chapter 18. Elizabeth’s Meets Mr Collins
The Gardiner coach was packed with children, nanny and trunks when it left Gracechurch Street on Monday morning.
The weather was cold and the sky cloudy but cheery conversation in the carriage made the time pass quickly.
Mr Gardiner and Elizabeth took turns reading from a book of children’s adventures and rhymes while Mrs Gardiner and Nanny took turns holding Henry who fussed a bit.
When the carriage reached Meryton, Elizabeth lay the book aside and pointed out the different buildings to Edward and Emily.
“We have only one livery in Meryton,” she told them. “Everyone must bring their horses here to be shoed. And there are only two shops with lace and cloth, one butcher and only one bookseller.”
“Lizzy, how did you manage?” asked young Edward in a teasing tone. “Only one bookseller?”
“I have only bought two books the entirety of my stay in London!” Elizabeth argued.
“But you read every book in the house!” the boy replied.
The carriage arrived at Longbourn just before noon and the inhabitants of the house poured out with wraps and bonnets to greet the arrival of the Gardiners and Elizabeth.
“Oh Lizzy, I missed you!” Jane said as she embraced her sister while Mr Bennet greeted Mr Gardiner, Mrs Bennet fussed over how much Emily had grown, and Mary and Kitty greeted Edward.
The servants handled the trunks and packages, the coachman drove the carriage around the house to the stables and everyone returned to the warmth of the parlour.
Mrs Hill brought a refreshing tea, and the ladies were soon alone as the gentlemen departed for the study to enjoy a small thimble of port.
Elizabeth waited until her mother was involved in a discussion with Mrs Gardiner regarding the latest fashions from London before she turned to Jane and asked, “Where is Mr Collins? I thought from your last letters that he had returned to Longbourn for second visit.”
“Indeed, Mr Collins is a guest in the house, but he felt it important to call on Mr Blackstone to discuss his last sermon. My father has resisted inviting Mr Blackstone to Longbourn for dinner of late as his sermons have begun to wear on everyone’s nerves–indeed Mary argued with Mr Blackstone on the virtue of mercy and forgiveness that he seems to have forgotten. ”
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At supper that evening, Mr Collins was eloquent in his speeches concerning the repast, the beauty of his fiancée, the pleasantness of the dining table, and the solemnity of the day spent in reflection of the previous Sunday’s sermon.
Elizabeth watched her father’s reactions to Mr Collins and the growing alarm on the faces of her uncle and aunt.
“Do you find Mr Blackstone to be a learned man?” asked Mr Gardiner.
“Indeed,” Mr Collins replied. “The vicar has dedicated himself to ensuring that the young ladies...”
Choosing to ignore the pompous rhetoric, Elizabeth turned to Jane and once again asked about the tenants, fall ploughing and their food stores for winter. Eventually her attention was captured by Mr Collins when the man began speaking of his patroness to Mr Gardiner.
"I have never in my life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank; Lady Catherine is affable and condescending with her approval of the discourses which I have already had the honour of preaching before her. She asked me several times to dine at Rosings, and sent for me only the Saturday before, to make up her whist table in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people I know but I have never seen anything but affability in her. She always speaks to me as she would to any other gentleman.”
Before anyone else at the table could comment, Mr Collins continued his narrative on the beneficence of his patron.
“It was only the third day after my arrival at Hunsford when Lady Catherine condescended to advise me to marry as soon as I could.
She paid a visit in my humble parsonage, and she had many suggestions for alterations that I should make.
Her close attention to my home was most gratifying.
She even suggested that I install shelves in the closet above stairs. "
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It was late in the day when Elizabeth was able to speak to her father in his study.
They talked of the two new books she brought from London, the wood cut and stacked for winter, and the tasks for the tenants to complete over the winter.
Finally, Elizabeth asked her father for his opinion of Mr Collins.
“Why do you ask, Lizzy? He will only be here for another week or so,” Mr Bennet answered. “Once he returns to his parsonage, we shall be free of him until next summer when he comes to marry Jane.”
“But what of the future, Papa? I fear the man is a fool and he will ruin Longbourn.”
Mr Bennet frowned and turned back to his book. “He is my heir that cannot be denied.”
“Jane will be miserable when she is married to him.”
Mrs Bennet entered her husband’s study at that moment and fussed, “Lizzy, you do carry on. Mr Collins will not ruin the estate that your father has ignored for the last twenty years.”
“Indeed Mrs Bennet,” Mr Bennet asks. “Have you been denied pen money or new gowns at any time?”
“I cannot entertain as often as I wish...”
“Mrs Bennet, I am appalled,” Mr Bennet replied.
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On Saturday, Mr Collins imposed upon Mr and Mrs Bennet to extend an invitation to Mr Blackstone to attend supper at Longbourn the following day.
“Sir, I have been in residence at Longbourn for almost a week complete and we have not had the vicar to tea or to supper–a most grievous oversight for which my patroness Lady Catherine would rightly admonish us both. It is the place of the patron to have the vicar at his table regularly to discuss the serious issues of the neighbourhood.”
“I am not pleased with Mr Blackstone and his moralizing continuously from the pulpit,” Mr Bennet explained. “He continues to allude to my youngest daughter’s removal from the community. How is my wife to ever recover if every Sunday, Mr Blackstone makes mention of it for all to hear?”
“Until Mr Blackstone sees reform within the flock of his church, it is his duty to remind all of the families that such an injurious step by a young woman will pull her entire family into a disreputable state.”
“Disreputable?” Mr Bennet shouted. “Mr Collins, I remind you that I married my daughter by common license to a tradesman in Bath. She is a properly married woman now and removed from the neighbourhood. Does Mr Blackstone make mention of Mrs Taylor and how she came to be married so quickly this fall? No, he overlooks her sins and only recounts the ones in my household.”
“Mr Bennet, as I mentioned earlier, the fall of your youngest daughter into sin must brush our entire family with society’s scorn for a time. Indeed, the death of your daughter would have been a greater blessing than the hastily patched up marriage.”
“My poor Lydia dead?” cried Mrs Bennet. Mr and Mrs Gardiner were too appalled to respond, and Mr Bennet motioned for Elizabeth to remain silent.
“Mr Collins, I wonder how you can partake of our meals and tea, our air and conversation if the Bennet family is so terribly bad?” he asked his cousin with a gleam in his eye.
“Cousin, as your heir and future protector of the various Miss Bennets, I feel it incumbent upon me to make my opinions known. The vagaries of life are such that we know not when circumstances may change.”
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On Sunday following the sparsely attended services at Longbourn Chapel, Mr Bennet issued a curt invitation to Mr Blackstone to join the family for supper that evening.
Mr and Mrs Gardiner were behind Mr Collins in the family grouping and thus were fully separated from the Bennet family as Mr Collins and Mr Blackstone seemed to enjoy each other’s conversation at the chapel door.
While the parson and the vicar compared stories and sermons, Mr Gardiner whispered to his wife, “My dear, have you noticed that everyone else has departed through the doorway at the side of the chapel? We may still be here Christmas Day a full ten days hence!”
Irritated at the thoughtlessness of two inflated egos from the pulpit, Mrs Gardiner whispered back, “Perhaps we can use the superciliousness of Mr Blackstone and Mr Collins to rid ourselves of the parson before Friday.”
When the two men continued to ignore the Gardiners, Mr Gardiner stepped forward and said, “I do beg your pardon Mr Blackstone, Mr Collins, but I must take my wife back to Longbourn–it will not do for her to grow overly cold.”
“Certainly, Mr Gardiner,” Mr Blackstone agreed and stepped aside to allow the Gardiners to pass.
Mr Gardiner added, “I have never heard such lengthy discourses on the duties of the parishioners to the members of the clergy. It has been most gratifying to learn of the depth of your knowledge on such matters. Would you gentlemen favour me by discussing the duties of the clergy toward their flock this evening after supper? I am most certain that you can provide me with all the information I require to judge the vicar of our church in town.”
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While Mr Collins was attending the ladies in the parlour and providing direction on the passages from Fordyce’s Sermons that should be read on a Sunday afternoon, Mr Gardiner and Mr Bennet enjoyed the quiet of the study for a few moments.
Looking up from his book at one point, Mr Gardiner made an offer.
“Brother, if I am not mistaken, you have surpassed all desire for the wisdom and company of Mr William Collins. While I know you enjoy the follies and nonsense of others–particularly of fools–I worry that your patience is overtaxed by the mere weight of words he spouts.”
Mr Bennet nodded. “I had forgotten what fools that side of the family produces. It stems from his grandfather–the man who married my grandfather’s sister and who talked my great-grandfather into placing the entailment on the estate.
My grandfather was not a healthy man, and his sister feared that she would not inherit if her brother died without a child with his wife.
To satisfy everyone–except for my grandmother–my great-grandfather placed the entailment on his grandsons.
I had no brothers, no nephews and no sons so Longbourn will pass to the fools in the Collins line. ”
“And short of strangling the man, there is nothing to be done but to suffer him as your son once he is married to Jane.”
“Do not remind me of what I have done to my daughter,” Mr Bennet insisted. “I find I prefer Lydia’s tavernkeeper to Mr Collins in the pulpit as a son.”
Mr Gardiner bowed his head for a moment and then suggested, “Perhaps I can convince Mr Collins to return to Kent before Christmas.”
Looking up, Mr Bennet grinned for the first time that afternoon. “I would be grateful sir! If you should remove this man from my house without a resulting visit from the magistrate, I shall be entirely at your service for the remainder of your visit!”
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“Elizabeth, I shall be making a point with Mr Blackstone and Mr Collins at supper. I would appreciate your endorsement to my argument,” Mr Gardiner whispered to his niece.
“Certainly sir,” she replied though she was certainly curious to what her uncle planned.
During the meal, Elizabeth found that she had no idea what her uncle was about.
Mr Bennet was uncommonly quiet and each of his daughters noted his behaviour while Mrs Bennet enjoyed her conversation with Mrs Gardiner as the lady joined her husband in directing Mr Blackstone and Mr Collins into espousing the church’s edicts on the responsibilities of the parishioners for their vicars and then on the responsibilities of the vicars and parsons for their parishioners.
“And do you feel the vicar plays a critical role in the observance of the major church days–such as Christmas?” asked Mr Gardiner.
“Indeed, I do,” Mr Blackstone replied. “The minister must set the example in all things for his flock such as marking the observances in the church year that denote the life of our Lord and Savoir.”
“Do you make the Christmas observance a special service?” asked Elizabeth. Mr Gardiner smiled as his niece joined the conversation.
“Mr Collins, I am sorry that you will miss your first Christmas service with your flock in Hunsford–Mr Blackstone certainly has Longbourn Chapel prepared.” Mr Gardiner said.
“My patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, encouraged me to come to Hertfordshire for Christmas. She does not think it will be possible for me to be absent from Kent this winter and wanted me to ensure...to visit with my family again this fall.”
Mr Blackstone nodded in agreement though the other attendees of the meal were less enthusiastic for the presence of Mr Collins.
“Surely, you have trust in Mr Blackstone to guard the morals and propriety of the whole of Longbourn? With his guidance for all Longbourn, you would be safe in returning to your flock for the special services that mark the birth of the Saviour?”
Elizabeth turned to Mr Blackstone and asked, “What is your opinion sir? How important is the presence of the vicar for his flock at such a moment? You would not be absent from Longbourn Chapel at Christmas, would you?”
In the ensuing discussion, Mr Blackstone came to suggest to Mr Collins that he return quickly to Hunsford for the Christmas observances.
Mr Gardiner provided Mr Collins with suggestions for post changes that would help him through London during the busy week and it was decided that Mr Collins would leave on Tuesday morning.
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But the following morning, Elizabeth noted that her father was agitated still despite the departure of Mr Collins.
“Papa, whatever is the matter?” she asked. “Are you not pleased to have seen the last of Mr Collins for many months?”
“Lizzy, I fear I have not heard the last of him this winter! Would you believe that this morning he had the nerve to suggest that we consider alterations to the marriage settlement?”
“Alterations?”
Mr Bennet shook his head, “It is nothing for you to concern yourself with–just money. But if that man thinks I will agree to make changes, he will find it necessary to pontificate with Mr Blackstone for ten years before I agree.”