Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Bray
Everything has to be perfect. Or at least that’s how I feel.
“How’d I go from zero to sixty?” I mutter to myself as I look around the rooftop.
Gray claps me on the shoulder, and I look over at my friend, who has taken off work for the day to be here with me.
“Because you just had three years of foreplay, friend, that’s how,” he says with a laugh.
I groan and turn to him. “Was it always that obvious?” I ask because I feel like I’ve been steamrolled by reality this week.
Hutch looks over from where he’s stringing pink roses through the latticework behind the bar.
“Dude, the sexual tension between you two for the last three years has been so thick we’d need a machete to cut that shit,” he says as he pokes another flower into place.
“For a smart man, sometimes you are pretty oblivious.”
I run a hand over my face, feeling like a crazy person. For reasons I can’t explain, I suddenly feel a little nervous. What if she says no? What if she thinks this is too soon? It’s only been five weeks since we first decided to give this a try.
I realize I haven’t spoken to my family, and I want to call them.
I did call Carly’s sister, Anne, after deciding to do this.
She’s going to be here tonight to hopefully celebrate with us.
I had wanted to ask her parents because somehow, I feel like a nineteenth-century suitor.
Anne held the phone, and I asked them. They have no idea who Carly is anymore, but thought I was a “delightful young man and should definitely propose to this Carly I spoke of.”
“I need to make a call,” I say as I walk to the far side of the rooftop past Al’s greenhouse. This side is quiet, just the utility parts of the building in a small, enclosed space. I look out at the city as I dial my parents’ number.
“Hey, sweetie,” my mom answers.
“Hey,” I say, feeling unsure of what to say.
I told my parents about my plans three days ago.
Their reaction was similar to that of my friends, laughing that they wondered when we would finally figure out we were in love.
Honestly, I think my mother was just excited about Ava being her first grandkid.
“You nervous?” Mom asks.
“A little,” I admit, trying to underplay my anxiety.
“Remember when you were little, and Lanie wanted you to visit her in the hospital, and you didn’t want to go?” Mom says.
Jesus, why does she have to bring that up right now?
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“You were scared. It was scary, but then you went, and you had the best time playing with Lanie, and you made her so happy. It turned out that you really helped her that week, and in turn, I think it led to a lifelong fascination with medicine. Do you remember how the doctor showed you guys how to make balloon animals from the gloves?” Mom laughs.
I chuckle. “Mine looked like a dick and balls,” I laugh.
“It sure did, but you were so proud of it,” she says.
“You’re brave, Bray. You went through a lot.
And I’m sorry we didn’t help you more with your feelings.
I’m glad you’re in therapy and working through that, and I’m glad you aren’t letting it hold you back from a lifetime of happiness.
Now, go get our girls and make them part of our family. ”
“Mom, slow down. I’m proposing today, not getting married,” I point out.
“Yeah, yeah. Same difference. But remember, that woman loves you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes,” she says as if FaceTime is more than a video. “Worst-case scenario, she just needs a little more time.”
I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. “You’re right. Thanks, Mom.”
“Anytime. I want a video. Text us after,” she demands.
“Will do, bye,” I say as I disconnect and see a text pop up from Lanie.
Lanie-painie: Go get her! You got this! There better be a video!
I laugh and let her know it will be recorded, as if I could stop all my friends from documenting the event.
I decide I need a moment. I have taken off work and am actually awake in the daytime hours. Perhaps a run will help. I’ve gotten off my workout schedule since the Italy trip.
I walk back over to Hutch and Gray. “Can you guys take charge for about thirty minutes? I want to get in a quick run to work out the nerves.”
Gray grins. “Of course, we got this, don’t we, Hutch?”
The step stool Hutch is on wobbles, and he rights himself. “Uh, maybe?” he says.
“You sure?” I ask.
“Go, get a run in, we’ll be fine,” Gray insists.
I nod and head down to change quickly before walking out to the trail, where I start stretching and then run around the trail loop. It’s not far, but far enough that I get in my zone for a few minutes. By the time I make it back to the bench, I’m feeling better.
I notice Al sitting there, and I walk over to say hello.
He smiles up at me. “You ready for tonight?” he asks.
I nod, but I must not look convincing because Al pats the bench. “Have a seat, kid,” he says as he scoots over to give me space.
I sit, and we stare out at the stream. Cliff is apparently sleeping because she’s nowhere to be seen. The flowers sit on the bench between us.
“Edith loved starting her day here,” he says with a smile.
I return his sad smile with one of my own. I miss that lady. She was one of a kind.
“I remember,” I say. We sit in comfortable silence as I let my breathing go back to normal after my run.
“Were you nervous to ask Edith to marry you?” I inquire as I glance over at him.
He chuckles. “Hell yes, I was. My hands were sweating, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. So, I reached way down and mustered all my bravery. When she said yes…well, it made me the happiest man in the world,” he says with another sad smile before patting my leg.
“You’ll do great. Carly and Ava love you, and we all know Ava is one hundred percent on board with this idea,” he adds.
“Thanks. I…well, it just all feels rushed. Like we’ve been idling at a light, and now it turned green, and I’m barreling down a highway going as fast as the car can go,” I try to explain.
“That’s love for you. Sometimes it sneaks up on us and then sends us soaring in the same instance,” he says as he goes to stand. “I’m going to go get the bar ready. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Al?” I say as he starts to walk away.
He turns to look back at me.
“You really think she’ll say yes?” I ask.
“Yeah, kid, I do. Good luck up there. I’m glad we all get to be a part of it,” he says with a genuine smile; this time it reaches his eyes.
I nod and sit there as I contemplate what comes next. I can’t believe I’m about to propose.