Chapter 18 #2
I knew my answer before she finished—no.
I’d never felt anything for any of the women I’d been with.
But what struck me more was the look on her face as she told me about this other person.
Suddenly, that video popped in my head, and I tried to picture how old she might have been in it, but rage filled me at the words I remembered spoken on the video.
I blinked, pushing those thoughts out. “No,” I finally said.
“I got proven wrong about a lot of people when I was kid. Hard to see the good when you see so much bad.”
She turned more, propping herself up a little and resting her head on her palm. “What happened?”
I cocked my brow. “Not sure you wanna know.”
“I do,” she replied instantly. “I don’t have a slew of information on you like you do on me. It’s not exactly fair that you’ve Googled me but I haven’t Googled you.”
I bit my tongue on telling her that if she had, she’d have found a mugshot, or several. “Well, I grew up in a trailer. Then another. Then a car. Then settled on a friend’s couch who ended up tryin’ to hook up with my sister, then we ran and found Alliston.”
“Was the first or second trailer on this property?”
I smirked at the way she was listening to me. “The second.”
She hummed. “Did you live with your mom and dad?”
“I never knew my dad. We lived with my mom and her boyfriend. ”
“So, which one of them fucked up?”
“The boyfriend.”
She hummed again, thinking everything through like what I said actually mattered. No woman ever asked any of these questions. “What did your mom do? As a job?”
“She danced.”
“Is that a polite word for it, or are you talking Broadway?”
“The way I see it, dancin’ is dancin’. Only difference is the audience and the bankroll.”
“I see.” No judgement. No weird eye contact or making me feel less.
Did I enjoy sayin’ my mom was a stripper?
No, but only because people perceived that as wrong, when really, it put food on the table and got me and my sister new shoes and clothes for school each year, and even some gifts during the holidays.
The world saw a dirty woman, I saw a hard-working one. “Is she still alive?”
“Yeah. Lives with her husband up in Maine in a tiny cottage where she can go thrifting and read peacefully by a warm fire.”
“Is that because of what you did to her boyfriend?”
I was prepared to answer something else. Anything else. Not that. “How’d you figure I did anything?”
Sophia gave a half shrug. “I dunno. Just a guess, but your answer tells me you did more than just leave this place. And you choosin’ not to live here makes me think you have somethin’ here that means more than land, or a past life, to you.”
“Hmm.” I smirked. “You’re not only beautiful, but intuitive, too.”
“You’re makin’ me seem like an angel when I’m far from it.”
“Angels ain't immune to demons, darlin’. They just keep ’em on their shoulders, listenin’ instead of becomin’ them.” She blinked a few times like she was mullin’ that over in her gorgeous head. “Does any of what I said make you scared?”
She giggled, the sound soft and natural, throwing me off.
“No. I’ve seen my share of men dealin’ with things in ways that aren’t exactly legal.
” Though she was speaking to one of those men now, even, presumably, half naked next to one, the idea she was in that mindset, that world, ticked me off.
“You don’t scare me. Not really even when you captured me and tied me up on your bed.
I don’t know if that means somethin’ is wrong with me—”
“There’s nothin’ wrong with you. Trust me, I’m still searching for it, and I can’t find a fuckin’ thing.”
It was dark out, yet I could see her skin flush over, the color creeping down her neck.
Then she shook her head. “You saw what I did inside. What happens sometimes when I get into…intimate situations.” Both my brows shot up.
“That’s why I ran off. I’m usually not too keen on admitting it, but I guess I’m high and shit doesn’t matter the same when my body is all floaty. ”
“You still seem smart as a whip, even high, darlin’.
” I mentally added that to the list of shit I couldn’t find wrong with her.
I wanted to ask her more, mention the video, and air it all out.
But I wasn’t sure how close to the edge she was mentally and how much she’d wish she hadn’t said tomorrow when her mind wasn’t getting a serotonin boost.
“Hungry?”
She nodded frantically. “God, yes.”
“Cold pasta sound as good to you as it does to me?”
“Sounds better than hot pasta, for some reason. Is that weird?”
“Nah. Nothin’ about you is.”
Her voice dropped, her fingers idly playing with the ends of her hair. “You really think so, don’t you?”
“I really think so, Peach.”
“Can I ask you one more thing before you head in?”
“’Course.”
The golden strands fell as her hand shifted to my neck, her fingers trailing a line down the side. “What’s this say?”
I took her hand in mine, dragging her finger to right below my lobe where the words began. “Aut viam inveniam aut faciam. It means, ‘I will either find a way, or I will make one.’”
“Oh.” She rubbed her lips in, and since she wasn’t moving, I wasn’t about to.
The warmth of her hand spread to my lips as I pressed a kiss to the top of her fingers, then another.
Slowly, her face inched closer to mine, the scent of peaches and marijuana strong and so fucking tempting.
I was used to being dominant in every relationship, whether it was with a true Dom/sub agreement, or a casual hookup where the other was recently discovering all the ways they could feel good.
I knew what I liked, and could tell some of the things she liked, but it was clear that wasn’t what Sophia needed.
I licked my bottom lip, my teeth catching it as a growl reverberated through my chest.
Then, she closed the distance.