Chapter 27 Just a Dream #3
It’s better this way. I’ll be free, I tried to convince myself, but my body refused to cooperate.
All my instincts were against it. No matter how I tried to reprogram my thoughts, I was too terrified of the pain the bullet would bring with it.
Several times, I started saying yes, but my voice would not work.
His eyes kept swerving from one of my eyes to the other, waiting, studying me.
Without reason, a memory of the night of the fire popped into my head.
When we were all sitting around the table, joking and teasing each other.
It’d been so nice to see them again. My heart ached for them so badly I placed my palm on my chest. I didn’t want to show him my fear, my sadness, but a hiccup of a cry escaped me.
“Do you ask this of all your slaves?”
“No. Now answer the question.”
“Then why me? You told me I wasn’t special.”
“You’re not special in any way, but you are the first to try to kill me, baby girl. You’ve earned it.” A silent heavy moment passed. “Look at me, Little One.”
I swallowed hard, then breathed through my mouth, not yet successful at convincing myself to beg him to kill me, then complied.
“Do you want me to kill you? I can do that for you. I can end it right here, right now. Say the word, and I’ll pull the trigger.”
An agonizing battle coursed through my mind. End it. Please end it.
I can’t. “No,” I answered before I’d willed myself either way.
He removed the gun from my forehead. I heard a click, then he disengaged it.
Already, I regretted it. He’d offered me a way out, and I said no.
Why? Stupid, stupid girl. Tears brimmed my eyes.
The thought of having to continue living this life was tormenting.
He placed the parts of the gun beside us on the bed, and I crumbled.
I’d had a way out. What had I done? I had condemned myself to this place, to this torture.
“Shhhh … It’s okay. Com’ere.” As natural as the chilly, rainy autumn storms, I collapsed into his embrace. I lifted myself so is cock would slip out. Inexplicably, he hugged me and allowed me to sob with my head on his shoulder as if he understood the hell I’d just experienced.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I knew you’d do it.
I was counting on it. You’ve been a ghost the past two months.
It’s as if the real you woke up today. So defiant.
Fighting me every step of the way. I actually think it looks beautiful on you, the defiance, the passion.
Most girls get here and within a week, they just lose all the light in their eyes, do everything I command, exactly how I tell them.
But you, you just tried to kill me. It’s .
.. fun.” He cupped my face, lifting it so I would look at him again.
“You’re so brave.” His lips barely touched mine.
That’s the least of what I was. I was a fucking coward who was stupid enough to be more afraid of the pain one bullet could cause for a couple of seconds versus a lifetime of rape and torture.
There had already been many moments of self-hatred in this place, but none were as powerful as that one. It’d been the worst betrayal ever.
Snot and tears trailed down, but he didn’t give a fuck, he placed short kisses everywhere. “I can’t do this. I can’t … I can’t … I can’t …” I repeated between wailings.
“Yes, you can. I promise you, you can. You’ll find a way.”
“Kill me. Kill me now, please ... Sir.”
“No. You don’t really want it. You’re just scared.
” This time, he kissed me with a possession beyond being his slave to sell.
He claimed me as if he were telling death, it couldn’t have me.
I’d never been romantically kissed before.
Did he know that? “It angers me how beautiful you are.” Kiss. “It’s so hard, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“Everyone wants to be attractive without bearing the consequences of it. The way the other girls throughout your life must have hated you for it. The way men think you owe yourself to them …” He paused. “You drove him to insanity, you know that?”
“Who?”
“Mael. Even his twin brother, Callum … At first, it might have been about revenge, sure, but the obsession …” He shook his head. “It spoiled as fast as milk. Callum never gave a fuck about Mael, not that much anyway.” His nails caressed my arms so lightly goosebumps rose in their wake.
“I had never met him before. I thought ... When I first saw him, I thought it was Mael’s ghost. I thought I was hallucinating.”
Sir smiled. “No. Truth is Callum was even more fucked up and psychotic than Mael. He’d been here almost all his life, under constant psychiatric evaluation.
When his parents couldn’t find Mael, they let the crazier one out of the cage.
His father was obsessed with finding Mael.
I guess Callum must have listened in on the details of the investigation.
Your name kept coming up, since Mael had always been .
.. obsessed with you and because you’d disappeared.
His father just thought someone must have kidnapped the both of you on the way to prom but Callum . .. he thought something else.”
“You were up to date with the investigation?”
“I made sure he didn’t find you sooner, Little One.”
“So, you knew he was searching for me?” For too long, Sir said nothing, but he didn’t appear to have been caught on a secret, it was more like a bored expression. “You wanted me to end up here.”
“No. Hate me all you want. Think of me whatever you want, but know that I’d never wish this on anyone, least of all you,” he mumbled, then kissed where tears had trailed just seconds before.
“Then why are you here? If you disapprove of it, then why do you participate in it?” My tone carried an air of judgment.
He stared at me with his head inclined a little to the right, as if he were lost, as if there was something he wanted to tell me but couldn’t.
Whatever it was, weighed heavily on him.
“Thank heavens I’m still here, Little One.
Thank the fucking heavens.” While cupping my face again, he kissed my wet cheek and forehead.
“I missed my gorgeous, fierce little one.” Another kiss on my other cheek, then on my chin.
The affection felt amazing, like something essential I had been needing all my life.
What had we been talking about? He pulled me into his arms again.
The embrace was snug, and I soaked up the warmth, the love which would soon disappear because nothing good ever lasted with Sir.
When would the bull show up? I didn’t want him to ever come.
His fingers raked through my hair and massaged my head, the way they always did when he forced himself on me. It alerted my body. Even before the thought crossed my mind, I went rigid. “Shhh … Breathe … I won’t hurt you … tonight. You’re so sensitive …”
I sat with his cock inside me, wondering if it felt my throbbing clit.
When I lifted my head from his shoulder, our eyes locked.
His lips crashed against mine, consuming me.
I whimpered, feeling helpless against what my body begged for, then placed my palms on his shoulders, sweeping them all over, feeling every protruding vein and his huge muscles.
I kissed him back and unconsciously gyrated on his hard dick.
“That’s a good girl.” The praise heated my body even more, pushing a current of pleasure through me. I leaned in, and he kissed me again, but this time his tongue curled against mine. Fuck. A tsunami of euphoria soothed an insufferable, unending ache. I needed it so badly.
My breaths became rushed, and I moaned. My fingers dug into and then raked his back. “Make love to me. Please. I need it. I need to feel loved.”
I lifted, then placed his cock against my pussy, allowing it to slip in all the way. “Fuck, you’re so hot and wet for me. So fucking delicious. My beautiful girl. Did you really want my cock?”
“Yes,” I whispered between pants while rocking my hips slowly, dying to feel his cock massaging every inch of my walls as it slid deep into me.
I couldn’t get enough, but I took it slowly.
“Yes,” I repeated. Even though there was a disgusting power imbalance between us.
Even though deep inside I knew if I said no, he would fuck me anyway.
I needed the illusion that for once in my life, I was truly consenting.
I needed this to be beautiful and clean, just one time.
“Show me, beautiful.” He squeezed my breasts together and licked between them. Then he took my nipple in his hot, wet mouth, biting then sucking so hard a jolt of electricity coursed through it, all while pinching and flicking the other. “Fuck. You’re torturing me, baby.”
I’d never done any of this—willingly had sex with a man. I had never been on top, controlling the rhythm and speed. To test if I really was in control, I stopped, with him deep inside. His eyes studied mine. “Are you okay?”
My gratitude was so overwhelming I blurted it out and kissed him. “Thank you. Yes. I’m okay.”
He pressed a featherweight kiss to my lips, then another was followed by a lick and him sucking my bottom one between his teeth. His dick engorged, making me gasp, and he chuckled.
I wished we could be like this forever, that we were two normal people in some hotel falling in love, making love.
I wished the world of human trafficking would dissolve along with every asshole in it.
His arms embraced me, warming me, like a thick blanket in the winter.
It brought me out of my mind while telling me it was safe.
“Sir,” I called as he kissed me everywhere and his hands caressed my back.
“Hmm?”
“What’s your name?”