Saving the Halfback

10. Bailey

10

Bailey

Wednesday Evening

W hen I got home from school that afternoon, Mom was sitting out on the porch with a tea in hand. “Hey, Boo,” she said as I walked up to the porch and flopped into the chair next to her. “How was practice?”

“Exhausting, my legs ache,” I complained. However, practice had been just what I needed to calm my nerves. All day, I couldn’t get Ed’s eyes out of my mind, feeling like I was being watched no matter where I went. I was grateful to have Lachlan and Nolan around; their banter had been the perfect distraction. There were quiet moments, though, in the halls. The creaking of a locker door would have me holding my breath, the slamming of doors would have me jumping.

Mom smiled. “Well, Dad did your chores for you.” She sipped from her mug.

I raised an eyebrow. “Why? I still have time.”

As if he heard us talking about him, Dad came around the corner. “You need gear, so I thought we could head into town and get what you need for football.” He didn’t give me time to respond as he added, “Let’s go.”

I didn’t get up from my chair right away. “I was planning to go to the store tomorrow after school. I’m not sure the local stores will have much for me. I mainly just need cleats…and a mouthpiece. The school provides the rest.” I wasn’t able to practice tackles today because I didn’t have a mouthpiece.

Mom was still smiling as she watched our interaction, obviously enjoying this.

Dad pointed his finger at me. “The last time you were on a team was tykes. After that, you refused to join any more sports.”

Mom laughed. “You better get in that truck, Boo.” Then she leaned toward me and whispered, “I think this is more for him than you. Let him have this.”

“Fine,” I grumbled as I pulled myself out of my chair and to the truck. “But you owe me dinner! I’m starving.”

Dad laughed as he jumped into the driver's seat. “You’re a teenager. I’d be stupid not to feed you.”

Dad made an evening of it, taking me down to Tom’s Burger Joint. We both got double bacon cheddar burgers with mushrooms—my favorite. The cheese on the burger was melted and practically seeped out with each bite. There was some sort of secret spice in it, too, which made it delicious. The fries, thick cut with chipotle mayo to dip them in, were just as good. We washed it all down with carbonated sugary goodness before we left and headed toward the first of three sporting goods stores in town. It was a large chain store, so if anyone had cleats in my size, it would be them.

The store was newly built, spacious, and easily laid out, with overhead signs indicating different sports. We made our way to the football section. “Are the school’s colors still black and silver?” Dad asked.

“Yes. I doubt anything has changed since you went there.” Dad used to be the team quarterback when he went to my high school. He even went on to play college ball, though once he graduated, he went back to the farm. It was where he met Mom, though. Perhaps that’s where his enthusiasm toward me playing came from.

I began looking at the neatly organized racks, interspersed with mirrors, so I could see what I was trying on.

“Did you have girls on your team?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I don’t think girls even thought about football during my time. It wasn’t lady-like.”

“I helped you become lady-like,” Ed said in a singsong voice. I peeked over a rack and saw him staring right back at me. I just couldn’t get rid of him. “Of course, you never were lady-like. You were lucky you had me to teach you.” I shuddered as I thought about his lessons.

“We did have cheerleaders, though,” Dad said. “Guys played the game and girls cheered them on.”

Ed scoffed. “Slutty girls in short skirts. I bet your mom was a cheerleader. Whores, the lot of them. I saved you from that lifestyle. You were too beautiful to lower yourself to those standards.”

His comment, though imaginary, reminded me that the cheerleaders had their practice right beside ours today. The number of stares and glares I’d received from a few of them made me wonder what I had done wrong, until I learned they were part of Hadley's group. I had no idea why she was so hell-bent on hating me.

Trying to ignore thoughts of Hadley and Ed, I said, “There’s the cleats.” I pointed to the wall display of shoes. “How do I know what my size is?”

There was a dry chuckle from behind me. “Honey, we only carry men’s sizes. What would you need cleats for? There are some lady jerseys right over there in apparel.” I turned around to see a worker behind me. He was older, around my dad’s age, with thinning brown hair and a belly shaped like a “b.”

“Lenny.” My dad greeted him.

“John.” Lenny nodded to him. “Can I help you find something?”

Dad smiled and walked up beside me. “Just getting some cleats for my daughter. She’s playing high school ball this year.”

Lenny frowned at me. “Softball?”

“Football,” I corrected him.

Lenny threw his head back and laughed. I could feel myself shrinking back, but Dad gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “You sure them boys aren’t playing a joke on her, John? Maybe she’s pulling one on you.” He laughed again.

“Well, now, Lenny, I think that’s hardly called for,” Dad said, stepping up, his shoulders pulled straight.

“John, you’re serious? They’re putting a girl on the team? She’ll get hurt. You don’t want that for your daughter. All those boys—”

Dad held up a hand, cutting Lenny off.

My stomach flipped and suddenly dropped. I stepped back, pretending to look at a few things on the shelf as Dad had a quiet conversation with Lenny. The humming in my ears was loud as doubts came to the surface.

“You’re making a mistake.” Ed chuckled. “You will come out tainted, dirty.”

“Stop,” I whispered.

“They will tear you apart. You will never be accepted. You need me.”

I shook my head. “You’re not real.”

“Stop lying.”

“Bailey.” Dad called for me, giving me an escape from Ed. I tried to hide the tears that stung my eyes, but Dad’s stare narrowed on my face. “I know a better place.” He motioned for me to follow. I hung my head as we walked out of the store, empty-handed.

“Maybe going to the city will be better. Nolan said they had girls on his old team, so maybe it’s more common there.” I spoke quietly as Dad drove through town. Ed sat in the back seat, and I did everything I could not to look in the rearview mirror, afraid to catch a glimpse of him. Coach had said he would fit me tomorrow, though I couldn’t play without cleats and a mouth guard.

Dad didn’t respond to me; he didn’t say anything. I imagined he wished now, more than ever, he had a son. My parents had wanted a large family, but after having me, Mom had fertility issues. I would always be their only child.

“Maybe it would be best if I didn’t join,” I whispered, feeling the weight of things stacked up against me. Maybe Ed was right.

Dad had seemed happy and excited to help me get the gear I needed. For so long, we’d been struggling to connect, and now that we’d connected over football, everything felt like it was crashing down. My burger no longer sat nicely in my stomach.

Dad pulled up to O’Riley Sports, the small sports store owned by Lachlan’s family. He put the truck in park and turned to me. “Lenny was wrong and out of line. You have just as much of a right to play as any boy at that school. Understood?” Dad had a stern way of talking when he was heated; it was a no-nonsense kind of tone. He had my back, like that heavy hand he would place on my shoulder as a kid, giving me confidence. I took a deep breath and nodded.

Ed scoffed. “Always filling your head with nonsense. He doesn’t understand who you are, what you are. A woman. He always treated you like a little boy. Sickening—”

I slammed the door, cutting off his words

We walked into the store and, right away, were greeted by the man behind the counter. He had short red hair and a red beard. Mr. O’Riley never had cold blue eyes, though. Unlike his son, he was always warm and welcoming. He was like a big Irish teddy bear.

“John McCormick, it’s been a minute. Decided to join the hockey draft this year?”

Dad put on a forced smile. “Not quite. Bailey here needs some football cleats. She’s joined the team. Got anything that might fit her?” He was blunt with his words and somewhat challenging, like he was seeing if Mr. O’Riley would argue with him on it.

Mr. O’Riley put down the clipboard he was holding and looked at me. “Stop my heart, that’s wee Bailey McCormick? John, she's grown nearly two feet since I last saw her.” I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. “She’s joined the team? You don’t say. We have cleats, they all be men’s sizes, but we just convert the size. There’ll be something that fits her.”

Dad seemed to take a breath. “You know, I thought I should've come here first. I just had a run in with Lenny—”

“Hold on.” Mr. O’Riley turned to a door behind him and called, “Lachlan! Come out ’ere a minute.” He turned back to us. “Lach can take care of you, girly, and I can catch up with your da'.” Lachlan appeared a moment later, a lazy look in his eyes.

“Talk about kids growing on us.” My dad chuckled. “Lachlan O’Riley, is that you under the mop of hair?” Dad held out his hand, though. I didn’t think he noticed Lach’s hesitation before accepting the handshake. “I haven’t seen you at the farm in a while, son.”

“Yes, sir,” Lachlan mumbled as he pulled his hand back quickly, brushing his hair away from his face. He shot me a wink, and I fought to keep a blush away, not wanting Dad to see.

“We keep him busy here at the store. He’s been working for a couple years now. Lachly, can you get Bailey fitted with what she needs for football?” Mr. O’Riley asked.

“Sure.” Lachlan grinned at me while waving his hand down an aisle. “Come with me.”

While our dads started gossiping, I followed him to the back of the store. Where the other store was massive, large racks of stuff with space in between, the O’Riley store had small racks and crowded aisles, but it was welcoming instead of sterile.

“So, you’re joining for sure?” Lachlan asked. “We didn’t scare you away yet?”

“Yet?” I smiled. “Nope, I’m definitely in now. I let Coach know after practice, forms are signed, I’m good to go.”

Lachlan led me to a rack that had the shoulder pads and pulled a clipboard with a fabric measuring tape off the shelf. “I might as well get you set up with the rest of your gear, then. We supply the school for football.”

“Really?”

“Yep, they buy the gear from us at cost, instead of the inflated prices Finnagens offers.” He began writing something down on the clipboard.

I chewed on the corner of my lip nervously as I looked around the store, no signs of Ed. “You think…I’ll be okay joining? I mean, is this a mistake?”

Lachlan looked at me, his eyes soft and his body relaxed. He always seemed on edge at school. “You’re saving us. We may not have been playing this season; our team was short players.”

I nodded to him and took a deep breath, trying to release some of the tension in my chest.

“Are you having second thoughts?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Some people just think a girl shouldn’t play on a guys’ team.”

Lachlan shrugged. “So? Since when have you cared about what other people think?” He stared at me for a second, and when I didn’t answer, he turned around, shuffling through shoulder pads on a rack. “Listen, the team won’t care. We aren’t the best team around, but we do well for our size. This year, the seniors just want to get to the playoffs. I saw you at practice, and you’ll fit in. Trust me.”

There was something in his sweet blue eyes that had my heart easing, a weight being lifted. It was easy to feel at home with Lachlan. I could trust Lachlan. I did trust him. “Okay.”

He nodded. “I need to measure you to get the proper fit, is that okay?” He didn’t approach me, didn’t make a move until I nodded. His lips tipped ever so slightly. “I need you to say it out loud.”

I was a bit confused, but all the same, I did as he asked. “Yes, you can measure me.”

Lachlan stepped forward into my space, and right away, his scent drifted to me. The sandalwood mixed with something earthy. I couldn’t help the small smile playing at my lips as I fought the urge to lean into him. “Turn around and hold your arms out like this. I may need to touch your shoulders and hands.” Everything about him was so different than at school. His eyes were gentle, his voice calm and relaxed.

I did as I was told. Lachlan’s touch was light, yet electrifying, all at the same time. He brought the measuring tape to the tip of my fingers, along my arm and to my shoulder. His long fingers gently touched and probed as he felt for the top of my shoulder. I had pulled my ponytail out after school, so my hair was hanging loose down my back. Slowly, Lachlan swept my hair to the side, his fingers brushing the back of my neck. The movement caused goose bumps to spread and a shiver to race down my spine.

Lachlan froze. “Sorry.” He sounded worried, like he had done something wrong.

I cleared my throat. “It’s okay.”

He finished measuring across my shoulders and down to the other hand before pulling away. “Done.”

I turned around as he wrote on the clipboard, his gaze avoiding me.

“So…what position do you play?” I asked, wanting to fill the silence.

“I’m a wide receiver. Left or right. Can I move you?”

“Yes.” I gave him a small smile of reassurance. It felt odd giving him that verbal consent every time, but he acted as if it were normal. To be honest, after years of being pushed around the way I had been, it felt good when he asked for permission. Felt good being in control. And his consideration added another layer of trust.

Lachlan reached around me, pulling the measuring tape around my back and across my chest. “Did Coach tell you what position you’ll be playing?” he asked, distracting me from his fingers hovering just over my breasts

I tried to keep my breathing normal. “Not really. He said he would move me around a few times until they found a good spot. He said he’d like me to play…uh…halfback? Or half runner?” Lachlan’s fingers stilled for a moment before he pulled the measuring tape out.

“Just going to get your waist size.” He kneeled in front of me and waited. I gave him permission, and he wrapped the tape around my hips. His fingers grazed my stomach briefly, sending my heart into a fluttering frenzy.

“Is it a bad position?”

His blue eyes shot up to me. “What?”

“Halfback… Is it not a good position? He said I would move around if I didn't like it.”

“Oh, that.” Lachlan stood up, shaking his head, as though to clear it. “Do you not know the positions?”

I bit my lip and shrugged. “It’s been a while. Tykes was like, when we were five, eight? That was almost ten years ago.”

A smile spread on Lachlan’s face. “You joined a full-contact sport, one that has a huge list of risks and injuries, with players who have been playing since the moment they could walk, and you don’t remember how to play?” Lachlan chuckled, then looked at the clipboard. “All right, sounds like you are definitely on the offensive side. So, you need more light shoulder pads. We should have your size too. Just give me a minute.” He turned to the rack and began sifting through the shoulder pads.

Ed’s words came traveling back to me, and I deflated. “Shit, this is a mistake.”

“Bailey McCormick, cursing.” Lachlan shook his head slowly. “Do you want to play?”

I thought about practice. About Nolan giving me pointers, the excitement of watching the team scrimmage. Ultimately, though, it was my desire to make my father proud that had me answering, “Yes.” I had put him through so much these last years. This might be what it took to make things right with him, maybe even make things right with the guys.

“Then, no, it’s not a mistake. Play because you want to play,” he said, and he was right. “Here, put these on.” Lachlan handed me the black shoulder pads, and I pulled them over my head. “May I?” he asked, pointing to the clips.

“Yep.”

I watched as he clipped the straps in, under my arms and on the chest, then tightened the strings in front. “I’m just going to check the fit.” He stepped forward, grabbing hold of the pads and lifting. I went up on my tiptoes as he dipped his head down, his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath against my lips. I had the urge to reach out and hold on to him, but before I could, he lowered me and straightened. “Looks good.” His voice came out husky before he cleared it.

“Hopefully they won’t get too much use,” I joked.

“Doubt it.” He winced. “You will be a target. Sounds like you are the running back, some call it a halfback, but you will run the ball. Almost every play, you will have a player assigned to protect you.”

“I thought you ran the ball.”

“In simple terms, I catch the ball.” He flipped through some hangers on the rack and pulled one out. “Here’s your girdle. You’ll wear it under the black pants. Coach will have the uniform and helmet because they are special order colors.”

I took them from him. “Thanks.”

“All right, mouth guards.” I followed him over to the end of the row, where the mouth guards hung. “One is only a few bucks, the other is more than double the price, however the more expensive one has insurance. If your teeth get damaged while playing, they will cover a certain amount of the dental costs.”

“Insurance?” Damn. “Do people really lose teeth?”

“It’s more damage or chips from the impact of the tackle.”

I sighed. “I’ll take the insured one.” I saw the variety of colors on the rack. “Oh! Can I have the pink one?”

Lachlan laughed but grabbed the box for me. “Cleats.” He led me to a wall display of different footwear. “The cleats you need are really only these six here.” He pointed to the one section of football cleats. “Have a seat.”

I sat down and kicked off my shoes as Lachlan knelt before me again, measuring my foot size. “So, who’s the guy that would protect me?” I asked.

Without missing a beat, Lachlan answered, “Me.”

I rolled my eyes. “On the field.”

He chuckled. “Linemen, the tight end.”

“Are there lots of those?”

“You really don’t know the positions, do you?”

“Okay, in my defense, I feel like there are a lot more positions on the team than when we were little. I know what the linemen are, but what does the tight end do again?”

“Chase is one of the tight ends.”

“That sucks. I’m totally getting creamed. I’m sure he would allow players through just to let them flatten me.”

“What do you mean?” Lachlan asked.

“Not sure if you’ve noticed, but Chase isn’t on good terms with me. I guess…I really messed things up before.”

Lachlan sat back and looked up at me. “I thought the same thing when I started playing with Chase and Eth. For a time, they did pull back, let a few tackles get in. I took it.” He looked down. “I deserved it. They didn’t want to talk to me, so it was their way of letting me know how much I hurt them. You too.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but he stopped me.

“I did hurt you. All of you. I get why you stopped talking to me. I know exactly how many times you came to visit, and my stupid pride and ego refused to let you see me.” He leaned forward and placed a measuring plate by my foot to stand on, then he went to work pulling boxes out for me to try on cleats as he spoke. “Coach caught on pretty quick that there was animosity between us. He brought us in and said he didn’t care what happened, what’s going on, or what’s about to happen. The moment the three of us step foot on the field, all of that is gone. On the field, we are a team. On the field, we have a game to play. He told us he expected us to show up for our team, and if we didn’t like it, we would be kicked off.”

I pushed my feet into a pair of cleats. They felt tight but comfortable. “I can see Coach saying that. He gives me a fair-but-tough-love kind of vibe. He pushes a lot.”

Lachlan chuckled. “You have no idea. Anyway, when it comes to playing football and wondering if the others will have your back, you don’t have to worry. Chase and Ethan, they will play the game. Just forget who they are and play. Forget everything and play. That’s what I do.”

A sort of sadness came over me, my shoulders falling slightly. “I don’t want to forget you,” I whispered. My eyes scanned around where we stood, a quiet spot at the back of the store. No signs of Ed. Reaching down deep for my bravado, I said, “I know we haven’t really talked about it, but…maybe can we start over? You said I didn’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything. No explanation. If you want to keep what happened to yourself, I get that. It’s just…” My eyes ran over his face, taking him in. His messy blond hair haphazardly pushed out of his eyes, his welcoming, gentle stare encouraging me, his long fingers toying with the laces on the cleats as he hung on, listening to what I was saying. “I just really want my friend back,” I breathed out.

Lachlan raised his hand, as if he were about to touch me, but then pulled back, standing up. “Bailey, I could tell you were going through something. I wanted to say something, but I wasn’t sure I should. You’d distanced yourself from us all, so much, and I figured you weren’t ready. I’m here. I’m so ready to break this wall down too.” For the briefest of moments, our eyes locked, and we just stayed there before he cleared his throat. “So, these ones fit good?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, they’re good.”

Lachlan grabbed them, adding them to my pile, and helped me carry the stack up to the front.

Our dads were howling with laughter over whatever they were talking about. Lachlan set everything on the counter and handed over the clipboard. “Find everything?” Mr. O’Riley asked.

“Yep, all set.” I smiled. He rang us up, explaining to my dad that the school covers the cost of most the gear; we only had to pay for the cleats and mouth guard.

“Brian and I were just talking about carpooling. Bailey, you don’t mind picking up Lachlan in the morning, do you?” Dad asked.

A flicker of something flashed in Lachlan’s eyes before he schooled his features again.

“Um, sure, I don’t mind.” I shrugged. “We both have early practice, anyway.”

“Guess that’s settled, then.” Mr. O’Riley smacked Lachlan on the back and smiled at me. “We’ll be seeing you around more, Bailey.”