Chapter 12
TWELVE
ALEX
Leo was burning.
All at once, our discussions in Dahlia’s office turned into chaos as he became a living flame.
Reed’s shield didn’t help this time. He’d gone up before, more times than I could count.
But it was always out of rage, or even simple irritation, and he could always be put out.
Joon loved teasing him with fire extinguishers.
This was new.
When I watched the fire surround him, his face contorted with hopelessness.
It was the same look I had whenever I let my thoughts take over, whenever reality became too much.
Leo was broken, and I needed to pull him into somewhere safe.
Though my body ached and my mind had been a mess since the interrogations, I chanced it.
There was a limit to what I could do, how much of my ability I could use.
Once I hit it, there was no telling how long I’d sleep .
In the academy, my record was three days.
The interrogation still weighed on me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept, but Leo was on fucking fire.
I whisked us into the only place I could think of at the moment; my bedroom.
It was comfortable, somewhere I could remember in detail, instantly.
Leo sprawled out on my white carpet, slapping at his arms as if he was still on fire.
His red-brown eyes were wide with fear as he lashed out a hand toward me.
“Alex, get back, don’t come—”
“You’re not burning,” I said, and my throat swelled. “You’re okay. I’m okay. Look around, look where you are. Nothing is on fire here. Nothing can touch us.”
His head still turned wildly, glancing down at himself before casting his gaze around the room.
Calloused hands shook, and something broke inside of me.
It had to be Joon—I’d been feeling it, too.
The weight of what we’d discovered, the task of finding his killers, only to realize he likely wasn’t the only Hero that had been taken out.
But Leo had been there; they were partners.
I didn’t consider it before, the fact that he’d likely seen Joon die.
I never acknowledged what he must have been feeling.
Leo had always been at the top—he was unbeatable, unbreakable, unshaken.
I’d forgotten that he was still human. He could grieve, too.
“Where are we?” he breathed finally.
I sank down from my bed and sat on the floor beside him as I dug my bare toes into the rug beneath us. “My room.”
He nodded, but his body still trembled; his eyes remained wide.
“Does it hurt?” my voice was quieter than I’d intended.
Leo scrunched his brows before running a hand through his messy blond hair. He cleared his throat as red started to creep onto his cheeks.
“No, I can’t feel it at all. It… doesn’t work like that. The damage always happens on the inside.”
It was hard to imagine. His flames burned hotter than anything I’d experienced; the ends of my hair were singed from the heat, while his remained untouched. But I still made sure that my room was cool, made sure that he could sense the air pulsing through, touched with ice.
“But it still scares you, right?” I asked.
He radiated self loathing whenever he lost control. In the academy, it was the only thing that kept me from hating him entirely. It reminded me that he was a victim of his abilities, as all Variants were. Heroes were revered, they were weapons for the VIA, but power didn’t mean life was easy.
Heroes were something to watch on TV, not people to interact with. I wondered what his childhood was like; a Variant that couldn’t control his temper, that threatened to burn anything within the vicinity when he imploded. It made my heart ache.
Leo leaned forward and placed his head in his hands, those light blond lashes fluttering as his jaw feathered. “Do you remember what they used to say about me?”
I tilted my head, trying to remember. It was a blur; ever since Joon died, all the memories became a jumbled mess. I remembered training with them. I remembered the constant conflict between Leo and me. But the details, the in-between chats and gossip among trainees, was lost.
“I was a Hero that should’ve been a Villain,” he sighed. “They weren’t wrong. The only thing I’m good at is destruction—not much of a savior, am I?”
My body went rigid, and my eyes glistened.
Leo was always the strong one, but the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize.
Joon was popular; he got along with everyone and stayed in the top rankings of every class.
But Leo was always alone; if Joon wasn’t beside him, if I wasn’t arguing with him, he was surrounded by silence.
Oh God, am I the asshole?
It sure felt like it. We pushed each other constantly, but even now I rejected him, couldn’t even fathom becoming friends. Did Leo have any friends? Did he have anyone at all?
“You’re a heavy hitter.” I put my hand on his shoulder, and his muscles tensed. “We need you on the field. I’d rather have you fighting beside me than against me.”
He lifted his head, and I was sure my lungs had been crushed. The downward tilt of his eyes, the droop of his lips; it was pure defeat. His gaze landed on the scar on my hand, and his lips pulled into his teeth before he let out a long breath.
“That’s the problem with fire, Alex. It doesn’t matter what side you’re on—it burns everything to ash.”
I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. Nausea welled up, and the lilac scent from the candle in my room made it worse, made me think of Joon.
“Why didn’t you get it fixed?” his voice broke. “That scar—why do you still have it?”
It was an unintentional torture that I’d inflicted on him.
I’d assumed Leo was used to it; I wasn’t the first person he’d burned and definitely wasn’t the last. After the healers had fixed me up as best they could, he retreated.
The quips were still there; we were still forced into mock battles with each other, but it was like he forced himself to keep a larger distance.
It bothers him.
I cleared my throat and placed a hand over the red skin that his eyes were trained on. “I consider it a battle scar, actually. You’re strong, Leo. I wanted to remind myself that I could survive someone like you.”
His brows pinched, and his shoulders shot up to his ears.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” I sighed before holding my hand up with pride. “What I’m saying is that I can handle you. I can handle your fire. It doesn’t burn everything to ash. I’m still here. Joon got me out, but I could tell—you held back. You controlled it.”
Leo shook his head, and I could almost see a smirk starting to form. “Control is a big stretch.”
“Take the win, idiot.” I hummed before tossing a pillow at him. “Don’t get in your head.”
“Says the dreamer,” he drawled, and he was starting to come back to himself again.
His head was taller, his shoulders dropped, and his face relaxed.
“Well, do as I say, not as I do.”
Leo chuckled before locking his arms around his knees, turning his head to take in my room, scanning every inch of it.
He finally landed on a picture on my dresser; it was of my graduation from the academy.
Joon had his arm draped around my shoulders with a big, sloppy grin on his face.
I beamed, and we were both flipping off the camera.
At graduation, the VIA announced our rankings, and I was placed in third-class status.
Neither of us was surprised, but that didn’t stop us from shouting ‘fuck the system’ before the picture was taken. Joon claimed it was just the beginning; our origin story.
“Do you have any?” I asked, almost surprised that sadness hadn’t started to sink in. “Of your graduation, I mean.”
It wasn’t often that I could look at that picture without having to turn away.
Leo barked a laugh before rolling his shoulders. “No, definitely not. Joon did—he made us take one, but I didn’t want a copy. It felt pointless back then. I don’t do memorabilia.” His tone shifted as his lips pulled down. “I wish I did, though.”
“Whatcha readin’?” Reed peeked over my shoulder, a lollipop sitting in his mouth.
His fire-engine hair spiked on top of his head, still damp as a towel hung around his shoulders.
I’d settled myself in one of the meeting rooms while Dahlia made plans for our visit to Connecticut, and the boys trained in the arena beneath headquarters.
Leo hadn’t appeared yet; I wasn’t sure if he would at all.
It was awkward between us. He’d exposed a part of himself that he wasn’t supposed to.
I slept for two days after he’d caught fire, and Leo had to be treated by specialist healers with the VIA.
Dahlia told me that he was lucky I was around—if I hadn’t shut him down, he might have gone into full burnout.
I wanted to learn more, wanted to figure out who Leo was, instead of how he portrayed himself. Reed peered at me from the corner of his mismatched eyes. One blue, even more than mine, and one green. Reed was right—he was pretty. The kind of beauty that would make people wonder if he was a model.
Joon was the same. The kind of face people admired. Thoughts of him used to hit harder, used to make my stomach clench and my breath wheeze. But lately, they felt like freedom. I smiled at Reed.
You’re Joon’s type.
The thought didn’t make me sick, or bring on the sense of missing out on what could have been. It brought back a memory, one where I could remember sitting on the floor together, books spread out around us. We always spilled secrets, created grand lives between ourselves, mapping out our future.
“I want someone interesting,” he’d said with a pensive look, as if he was deciding who he was going to marry, right then and there. “Someone who always keeps me on my toes, that I can spot from a distance, you know? Someone I don’t want to take my eyes off of.”
“You have a thing for redheads,” I quipped when I flipped another page in my book.