Chapter Seventeen
Sunday, 18 th June
C oming here without Stacy and David hadn’t been a good idea. Emily sipped her drink and blinked at Alan in the dimness. The nightclub was crammed with people, and although they’d found a table, they were so near the speakers it was impossible to talk. Everyone was dancing their hearts out, the music was thumping and this was the second track in a row she’d never heard before. She was completely out of touch with what was happening in the world of nightclubs and dance. Before, this was what she’d done to relax. Now, all of a sudden she was too slow, too constrained in her movements, too – too old ?
‘Look – there’s a better place over there.’ Alan leaned closer and pointed to a group of tables near the back of the room. ‘I’ll shoot over and grab chairs, and you follow on.’
He snaked his way between the tables, and Emily hung her bag over one shoulder and followed. She was almost knocked down as a little group of laughing people dived up to dance when a new track – another unknown – started. This was where you wished you had your stick with you. People did take a bit more care around stick-users. And how decrepit did that make her feel ?
At last she reached the table, and sank down.
Alan wasn’t looking happy. ‘I’m not sure coming here was my best idea.’
She couldn’t argue with that. He would normally go clubbing with someone who had two good legs and was ready to have some fun, wouldn’t he?’
Misery welled up inside her. ‘I’m sorry. I’m no use here, am I?’
The music was even louder now, and he leaned across the table. ‘It’s nothing to do with you – it’s too noisy to talk, that’s all. How about we go and find somewhere quieter, have a coffee?’
He had to repeat this twice before Emily picked it up properly, but getting out of here was all she wanted to do now. Outside, they walked from the side street the club was in back to the main road.
Alan looked up and down the deserted street. ‘Any idea where we could go?’
Emily turned left. ‘I think I just want to go home, Alan. This is Elton Abbey, we don’t have late-night coffee shops or bars. We’re lucky we have a nightclub.’
Alan was silent for a few steps. ‘Okay, but I still want that coffee. I’m not leaving you like this.’
Emily shrugged. She was being daft, but the feeling of ‘poor, pitiful me’ was giving her a lump the size of Everest in her throat. All these months, and she still couldn’t go clubbing…
The flat was silent when she opened the door. Good, Stace and David were asleep. A quick coffee with Alan, then – Emily caught sight of the clock on the microwave. Hell. It was after one. Did he really want to drive all the way back to Leeds? He’d had at least two drinks, too. Had he been expecting to stay with her? Sleep with her?
She prodded the coffee machine, and lights came on as it started to warm up.
Alan slid onto a kitchen chair. ‘Emily? What’s wrong?’
She sniffed. ‘Nothing that turning the clock back a year or so wouldn’t fix. Leave it, huh? I’m not usually this maudlin.’
‘No, you’re not. I’d like to help, but I don’t know how.’
She forced a smile. ‘You can magic me into someone who’d win Strictly hands down. And while you’re at it, you can magic the sofa into something more comfortable, if you’re intending to stay over.’
He blinked at her. ‘I would like to, and I can sleep anywhere. I hope you didn’t think I was intending to wheedle my way into your bed?’
A long moment passed while they stared at each other without speaking, then Alan lifted both hands in a shrug.
‘Tell you what. Let’s erase everything that came after dessert at the restaurant, huh? We walked straight back here and now we’re having coffee.’
A smile flickered across his face, and Emily felt her lips twitch.
‘Deal. If I can have first go in the bathroom afterwards.’
‘Deal.’
They were friends…
***
Stacy spent a miserable night huddled on the edge of the bed, listening to David’s snores and trying to keep enough duvet to cover her, dozing off then jerking awake again. It was after three before she fell into a deep sleep, then the first thing she heard when she awoke was David’s voice – and he wasn’t in the bedroom .
She stretched a hand across the bed, but the other side was cold. He’d been up for a while, then. Making them breakfast in bed? Or even just coffee?
A moment later laughter came from the kitchen, and she pulled on her bathrobe and went through to see what was going on. The other three were sitting round the table having breakfast. Alan had stayed over, good, and both he and Emmy were looking pretty happy, too, in direct contrast to the look David was giving her now and definitely in contrast to how she was feeling. What had happened to ‘making it up to her’?
‘Coffee for Madame,’ said Alan, getting up to fetch her a mug. ‘And I went out for croissants – have one.’
Stacy smiled her thanks and sat down in the empty chair beside David. He gave her a quick glance, his cheeks flushing slightly. So he did know this was odd behaviour.
‘I’ll have to get the ten-thirty train, Stace,’ he said, not meeting her eyes. ‘I have to cover for Stu. He’s a bit under the weather.’
‘I’ll walk you to the station,’ said Stacy flatly. She ate her croissant, then took her coffee into her bedroom to drink while she dressed, noticing that David’s bag was waiting by the door already. Strategically placed for a quick getaway?
He came in while she was brushing her hair. ‘I’m sorry, Stace. I’m just tired. I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry.’
She’d heard that before. Stacy wheeled round to face him. ‘I do worry, though. We need to talk, David, and I’m “just tired” of saying that. Let me know when you’re ready to have a proper conversation.’
‘Don’t be so bloody serious all the time. You of all people should know the stress I’ve been under.’
‘Oh, I know. At least, I know what you tell me.’ Now that the suspicion that he hadn’t been completely honest about the extent of his night duty was in her head, it was hard to let it go.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Stacy twisted the hairbrush in her hands. She had to ask. ‘Did you really have all that night work?’
He glared at her, a muscle at the corner of his mouth working. ‘Oh, for God’s sake. I’m not listening to this. Let me know when you’re ready to have an adult conversation.’
He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and punched his arms into it.
Stacy banged her hairbrush down on the chest of drawers. What kind of doormat did he think she was? ‘I’m not stupid, David. It’s about priorities. And actually, I’ll let you go to the station by yourself.’
She stood at her bedroom window as he stomped off down the road without looking up to wave. Stacy folded her arms grimly. He might be more willing to talk if she stopped being so available.
‘Stace – is everything okay?’ Emily closed the bedroom door behind her and sat down on the bed.
Stacy plumped into the chair. ‘I don’t know. He’s being pretty – evasive, somehow. He–’ She explained in a few words.
Emily was indignant. ‘He might be tired and stressed, but that’s not an excuse for being a prat. You should chuck a few plates around. It might bring him to his senses.’
Stacy pulled a face, then grinned wryly. ‘You’re right. If he hasn’t made an effort by next weekend, I’ll go and demolish his kitchen. Meantime, I’ll gatecrash Sunday lunch at Mum and Dad’s. Gareth’s coming over with the latest love of his life. Have a lovely time with Alan, and I’ll see you later.’
Emily scuffed her foot on the carpet. ‘Alan will be heading back to his mum’s soon. We’ll talk tonight, huh?’
Happier, Stacy walked across the park. Mum’s roast beef, here she came, and okay, falling out with David had been daft, but she’d needed to make a stand for her self-respect. Hopefully it would make him think.
***
Emily chivvied eggs around in the frying pan. An omelette would be a nice light early lunch before Alan started back to Leeds to say goodbye to his parents. His journey tonight started at Leeds Bradford with a flight to Heathrow, then another on to Zurich. It was an expensive route to travel, but he’d had to take what he could get at short notice. She added some cheese to the eggs and was about to yell that it was ready when he appeared in the kitchen, smelling of David’s shower gel.
He touched her shoulder lightly then leaned on the fridge. ‘Wish I could stay for longer.’
Emily made sure she sounded breezy. ‘But imagine, you’ll soon be back at lovely Lakeside. You’ll need to let us know when you hear what’s going to happen with the hotel.’ Help. That sounded as if they were mere acquaintances, and they were a shade more than that. He’d been fine with sleeping on the sofa last night, so maybe he hadn’t planned all along to worm his way into her bed. Mr nice guy Alan.
She dished up the meal and they perched at the kitchen table like an old, settled couple, and there was so much that neither of them was saying. A wave of uncertainty came over Emily. She knew what she wanted and what she didn’t, but what did he want? Stupid question. They wanted different things, didn’t they? The restaurant had been fun last night, but fun was fun and another relationship was – different.
Alan put down his fork. ‘Emily? Where do we go from here? Any chance you could come over to Switzerland again? I might get the chance to come over for another weekend, too.’
Emily’s mouth went dry. He was trying to pin her down, and okay, friends and all that, but this wasn’t what she wanted. Or needed. She needed to be free to heal; her heart and mind were still hurting, as well as her leg.
She breathed in deeply, trying to squash the panic down. ‘Can we see how it goes over the next few weeks?’ It was ridiculous, why wasn’t she ready to move on and be happy? That was what she needed to work out.
His face was apprehensive. ‘If you want me to get lost, please just say it and–’
Emily shook her head. ‘That’s not what I want. But I need to sort myself out, Alan. When you come home in September…’
He flushed. ‘Okay. I’ll take that. But let me know if you come to any kind of conclusion before September, huh? And I don’t promise not to bombard you with messages and pics to tempt you to Switzerland before then, either.’
Emily laughed. ‘I’d better send my dad back to the Golf Club to win another holiday, then!’
‘I could help with your flight. Sure I can’t tempt you?’
He was pushing his luck now. Emily gathered the empty plates and took them to the sink. The sooner she was alone here to think, the better.
‘Skedaddle. Your mum will be waiting for you.’
She walked to the car with him, and he tossed his jacket into the back seat. He gave her a hug – the first time he’d done that, then dropped down behind the wheel.
‘Take care, Emmy. See you in September.’
Tears rushed into Emily’s eyes as the car started down the road and vanished around the corner. She’d hurt him, hadn’t she? She hadn’t wanted to, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself.
She stumbled back inside and got out the mat to do her exercises.
She should have hugged him back.