Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
D arkness pressed in on all sides as Sampson clung to his saddle, his eyelids heavy as lead. Each jarring step of the horse sent a fresh wave of pain rippling through his battered body. Only Dinah's laudanum kept him upright, but it came at the price of exhaustion thick as molasses.
Home. His bed in the bunkhouse. Just a little farther…
Jericho had ridden ahead to alert the others, and as they entered the yard, lantern light glimmered from up by the house. It must be close to bedtime, but a group of people had gathered.
His family.
The knot in his middle tightened. He wasn’t ready to face them. Not yet. Not as miserable as he felt.
Heidi and Dinah rode toward the house, but he turned his gelding toward the barn and bunkhouse. He had no strength left to explain, to talk. He needed sleep first.
"Sampson, come up to the house," Dinah called, her voice laced with concern. "I'll make a bed for you there so I can be close if you need anything."
He fought to form words, to push them past his locked jaw. "Going…to bed. Talk…in the morning."
Dinah turned to ride with him. " I’d feel much better having you in the house. You can rest there."
Sampson shook his head, then hissed as pain lanced through his skull, the battered flesh of his face screaming in protest. He knew how rough he must look, how pitiful. And he couldn't bear to be fussed over, to be seen so weak.
He couldn't let the rest of his family see him like this. Especially if Grace and the baby were already here. "I'll be fine," he managed. "Have one of the boys bring the laudanum. I'll take it myself if I wake up hurting." They could tell him for sure that Grace and Ruby had arrived. He tried to push more strength into his voice. "I’ll see everyone in the morning."
Dinah fell silent, and the sound of her mount’s steps no longer trailed him. He kept riding, each step of the horse sending a fresh jolt of agony through his body. But also, the promise of relief. Almost there. Almost to the haven of sleep, where he could forget the pain, forget the mistakes that weighed like millstones around his neck.
For a few blissful hours, he could just rest. And maybe, if God was kind, he'd wake with the strength to face the consequences of his choices, to start setting things right. One woozy step at a time.
The barn loomed ahead, a hulking silhouette against the dark sky. He reined in his gelding, then gritted his teeth for the dismount. This was the worst part, since he couldn’t use the bad arm and his ribs screamed when he tightened his middle. Gripping the saddle, he swung his leg over the horse and slid to the ground.
As his boots hit the dirt, pain exploded behind his eyes, and darkness swirled at the edges of his vision. He locked his knees, fighting the urge to crumple. Passing out face-first in horse manure would be a fitting end to this wretched day, but he'd not let it happen if he could help it.
"Sampson! Thank the Lord you're home." Miles appeared at his elbow, his face a mask of worry in the lantern light. "Let me help you inside."
Sampson forced a smile, hoping it looked less like a grimace. "Good to see you, little brother." The words scraped his raw throat. "Did Two Stones come with…?”
Talking used up so much energy, but hopefully Miles knew who he meant.
“With your wife and daughter? Yeah. Look forward to hearing that story.” Miles’s needling came through in his tone, but Sampson had no energy for it. Not now.
“They’re fine?”
“Seem to be. Sleeping now I think. You want me to wake Grace?”
Sampson eyed the bunkhouse. “Nah. Mind putting my horse away? I need…"
A wave of dizziness crashed over him, and he swayed, grabbing the saddle for support.
Miles's hands shot out to steady him.
Sampson blinked hard, trying to clear his vision. He focused on putting one foot in front of the other as Miles guided him toward the bunkhouse. "I just…need to lie down."
He let his brother walk with him to the door, but when he tugged the latch open, he clung to the wood. “I’ve got it from here.” He couldn’t focus with his blurry vision to look Miles in the eye. “It’s good to see you. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Miles didn’t step back right away, but Sampson had no strength to wait for him to leave. He pushed the door shut, then stumbled toward the bunk that had always been his.
He had to rest. And if he was lucky enough to find sleep, he could shut out the world and its troubles. He could forget, just for a little while, the wrongs he needed to right. The laudanum tugged like a stubborn mule at his senses.
Bed. Oblivion.
Everything else could wait for dawn.
* * *
A feeble cry pierced Grace’s sleep, and she forced her eyes open. Ruby needed to eat.
She squinted at the light coming through the window. Morning, which meant this wouldn’t be a simple feeding then back to sleep. The babe would want to stay up and play.
She held in a sigh and pushed up to sitting, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
Ruby’s hungry fussing was turning more desperate, which meant she’d be wailing soon if Grace didn’t hurry.
She moved to the basket and reached down for her. “It’s all right, sweet one. We’ll get you clean and fed. Don’t cry.” She scooped up the swaddled babe, cradling her close as Ruby’s cries turned to shuddering breaths. "Shhh. I'm here."
A soft knock at the door made her pause. “Yes?” Had Ruby woken someone?
That brought another thought. Clara .
Grace spun to see if the woman whose room they were sharing was still asleep. She’d completely forgotten about Clara in the other bed.
But that cot lay empty, with the blankets pulled up neatly. Had Grace overslept? She eyed the light streaming through the window. It was later than she’d realized, but her body screamed that it couldn’t possibly be time to stay awake for the day.
A soft voice sounded through the door. “It’s me. Jess. I heard Ruby and wondered if I could help.”
“Come in.”
Ruby was starting to fuss again, bumping her mouth against Grace’s neck in a desperate search for food.
Grace stepped to her bed and laid her down so she could change her wet wrappings. “Let’s get you clean. Then you can eat.”
The door opened, and Jess peeked in.
Grace managed to lift a tight smile for her. “Good morning. I’m sorry if the noise bothered everyone.”
Jess padded in with silent steps, her presence as gentle as her voice. “Not at all. I thought you might want a few minutes for yourself, so I hoped you’d let me change and feed Ruby.”
Grace lifted her gaze to see if Jess was earnest in the offer. Take over everything the babe needed right now? That felt like an offer much bigger than Jess probably realized.
The other woman was already reaching for a clean diaper from the stack beside the basket. A stack one of the other women had washed, dried, folded, and brought back to the room.
It all felt like too much. Too wonderful.
She couldn’t let herself get used to all this help, but maybe she could allow it just this morning.
She moved back to allow Jess room to work. “Thank you.”
The other woman greeted Ruby with a smile as she set in to the task. “There’s our sweet baby. Good morning. You’re just so precious.”
Jess would make a wonderful mother, with her soft manner and gentle ways. She was already pulling the hint of a smile from the babe, even with Ruby's hunger.
Grace took another step back. She had a few precious minutes to make herself presentable for the day ahead. She’d best use her time well.
As Grace unfastened her braid, Jess spoke up. "I heard Sampson came in near midnight with Dinah and Jericho."
Sampson.
A flutter slipped through her, but then worry took its place, clenching her gut. How badly was he injured? And if he was here, where was he staying? Was there a room here they used for a clinic? "Is he...how is he?"
Jess tugged the clean diaper into place. "I didn't see him myself. He's out in the bunkhouse. But Dinah said he's in rough shape. A broken arm near his shoulder. Several broken ribs. Lots of bruises and cuts."
Grace swallowed hard. She needed to see him. Needed to know exactly how dire his condition was. "May I go to him?"
Jess nodded as she swaddled Ruby again and picked her up. "I'm sure that would be fine. He might still be sleeping, but we could check with Dinah first."
Dinah. The woman everyone here spoke so highly of. A doctor and the wife of Sampson's eldest brother. What would she think of Grace coming into her home without permission?
By the time Jess had Ruby content and suckling the bottle, Grace had slipped into a dress, washed her face, and tidied her hair.
Jess smiled as she held the drinking babe, Ruby’s bottom resting on the swell of Jess’s own child. “Shall we go talk to Dinah?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m ready.”
She followed Jess into the main room, scanning the space quickly to see who was here. She’d only heard the low murmur of voices.
A few women worked in the kitchen area. Patsy and Clara and…
A woman with striking blonde hair stood at the cookstove. She came toward them, a warm smile on her face. Grace's stomach twisted.
"You must be Grace." Dinah's voice was rich and kind. "We're so glad to have you here." She enfolded Grace in a warm, tight hug that wrapped all the way around her. So much like Mama’s had been.
Tears surged, pushing hard. She sucked in a breath to hold the grief back. She couldn’t think of Mama or she’d lose her composure fully.
Her vision blurred, and she tried to focus on the fact that this was Sampson’s sister-in-law. An important member of his family. Someone she needed to make a good impression on.
Dinah pulled back, but she surely saw Grace’s tears. She kept hold of Grace's hands, her blue eyes full of compassion. "You've been through so much in such a short time, haven’t you?"
How much had Sampson told them? Dinah’s words held a question, and an invitation to share. Maybe she wondered what part of her recent experience had brought on the tears. Hopefully she didn’t think marrying Sampson had contributed. She should tell this woman that the hug reminded her of her own mother. But speaking of Mama would send her into sobs, and she couldn’t do that. Not right now.
She sniffed and worked for a smile to push back the emotion. “I’m sorry for coming into your home when you weren’t here.”
Dinah gave her hands a squeeze. "Please, don't apologize. You're family now. This is your home too."
The kindness and sincerity in the woman’s clear blue eyes only made the tears threaten harder. Grace nodded, not trusting her voice.
Dinah seemed to sense her struggle and released her hands. "Sampson was quite stubborn about it, but he insisted on staying in the bunkhouse last night instead of in the house."
Fresh worry knotted in her middle. "How is he? Truly?"
"He looks worse than he is." Compassion lingered in her eyes, though her tone shifted to something more like a doctor would use to give a diagnosis. "None of his injuries should be life-threatening, praise God. He's in a great deal of pain. I'm giving him laudanum to help manage it for now, but he can’t stay on that for long."
A heaviness seemed to hang on those last words, and Dinah’s expression shadowed.
What would the laudanum do if Sampson took it too long? Was it dangerous even now?
She swallowed hard. "May I…go see him?"
"Of course. I’ll take you." Dinah smiled. "I'm sure he'll love to see you.” She turned toward the door. “Make sure you bundle up. It's a brisk walk to the bunkhouse."