15. Luna
Luna
K ane lowers his head slowly, giving me plenty of time to move away before he rests his head in the crook of my neck.
A shiver makes its way down my spine at the feel of him taking a deep inhale.
Oh my god. My perfume swirls around us and to my absolute embarrassment, I can feel the slick between my legs growing. I’m sure he’s noticed too.
A soft growl vibrates out from his chest as his five o’clock shadow scrapes gently against the skin of my neck, scent marking me. His pine forest scent mixing with my perfume is the only thing I can think about.
“Are you—are you—” I can’t even find the brain power to string words together. He wants my scent. From me. Is he asking me to sleep with him?
I grip his forearm with a wavering feeling of uncertainty. Is he looking for more?
I don’t think I’d be opposed to more.
And that scares me .
“We don’t have to do anything more than sleep,” he whispers as if he can read my mind.
His forearms feel so strong underneath my fingertips.
Every part of his body that I’ve touched feels so strong.
Not the sheer strength within Madden, the explosive strength I’ve felt with Archer, or the agile and fluid sort of strength I felt with Chase, but a kind of controlled strength that’s all him.
And for some reason, the control I know he has makes me feel safe.
He’d stop if I weren’t ready.
I think any of them would, if I asked them to, but Kane is so observant he’d stop before I even had to say anything.
“What if—what if sleeping isn’t—isn’t the only thing we do?” I whisper, my gaze drawn to the sharpness of his jaw as it clenches.
It takes me a while to build up the courage to look into his eyes. I’m afraid I’m going to melt. Or combust. Or something.
Regardless of how it happens, I’m scared I’m going to fade into nothing.
When I do manage to finally meet his deep forest green eyes, I’m so right.
They’re filled with such a powerful intensity that mixes with his dominance that I have to lean my weight onto him to keep my knees from giving out from under me.
But this isn’t my knees buckling from fear. My body’s reaction to his dominance isn’t anything remotely close to my reactions to alpha dominance in the past.
He reaches up slowly to cup my jaw. The scrape of the rough callouses on his hand feels mesmerizing against my buzzing skin.
“What did you have in mind?” he asks, his gaze never dropping mine, not even as he traces his thumbs slowly against my lips.
“So soft,” he whispers.
My eyes flutter closed and a soft moan leaves my throat.
“I need your words, little one. Tell me what you want.” His voice is thick with desire and anticipation .
It’s obvious what I want. I want him to kiss me. I open my eyes, narrowing them up at him. Why is he making me say it out loud? It’s embarrassing enough how needy he makes me feel, he needs me to say it out loud?
He chuckles under his breath when he sees my expression, leaning in to brush his lips against my forehead. The innocent touch just makes me want his lips against mine even more.
“I know what you want,” he says, his eyes going soft with reassurance. “I think you need to hear yourself ask for something and get it without anything going wrong.”
I lean into his hand that’s still cupping my cheek, my gaze drifting down to his lips. “I—I want you to kiss me.”
I barely have time to blink before his lips are on mine. His stubble feels rough against my chin, a stark contrast in comparison to the softness of his lips. My eyes close and I melt into his touch.
I feel a bit clumsy and unsure of what I’m doing. I was never a real active participant in things I’ve done before and never cared what the other person thought.
But Kane is gentle with me, even as he takes the lead with the kiss. The groan that escapes from the back of his throat as he slides his hand up into my hair to get a better angle reassures me that I’m doing just fine.
I find a rhythm with him, my lips moving against his as the kiss grows in intensity. A small whine builds at the back of my throat.
This kiss is magical. It’s just a kiss but I can feel the effects of the kiss throughout my entire body.
When Kane pulls away gently, the whine I’ve been trying to keep suppressed makes its way out. It’s like part of my brain is rejecting the idea of him leaving me right now.
“Fuck,” he says, breathless.
My chest heaves up and down as if I’ve just run a mile. His eyes sparkle as he looks down at me.
“You’re magical,” he murmurs, brushing some of my hair behind my ear .
I rest my forehead against his chest, unable to meet his gaze at his compliment, my cheeks feeling like they’re hotter than the surface of the sun.
“Let’s get you off your feet,” he says, lifting me up into his arms. When he catches me looking at the book I left on the armchair, he wordlessly leans down so I can pick it up before heading to the wing with all the bedrooms.
When he steps into the bedroom I’ve been given, I finally build up the courage to look up at him. He looks deep in thought.
He sets me down on the bed softly, pulling up the blankets around me. He stands straight as if he’s getting ready to leave, sending a wave of anxiety through my body.
I don’t want to be alone. Especially not after what we just did together.
A familiar sort of panic swirls in my gut. After my heats, I was always left alone. As much as I craved being alone more than being with the men who were only there for what they could take from my body, this pack isn’t like that.
“Do you want something?” Kane asks, reading the expression on my face.
I open and close my mouth, struggling to find the words to say. I want him to stay with me, to sleep with me. But only sleep. Nothing further. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. But how can I ask something like that?—
“You can use your words, little one. There’s nothing bad that’s going to happen to you for asking for what you want, remember?”
I swallow hard. “Could you—could you stay with me? I—I don’t think I’m ready for something more, but I don’t want to be alone. And maybe—maybe it’ll help you too? You know, maybe it can help with your sleep and?—”
“You don’t need to convince me to stay with you,” Kane says, chuckling softly under his breath. “I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.”
To my surprise, he makes sure I’m tucked under the thick, warm comforter before he lies on top of it. My chest melts at his consideration.
He leans on his elbow, looking down at me, his other hand dancing up and down my arm, sending shivers down my spine at the light touches.
His expression returns to the one of deep thought he had earlier.
“Feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up,” he says. “But was that your first kiss?” He’s not meeting my gaze right now, which seems intentional considering he’s always been the one holding eye contact out of the two of us. It’s almost as if he wants to give me the space to answer him.
I don’t know if I could find the courage to tell him if I had to look him in the eye right now. I owe him this much. He’s been so kind and considerate. He deserves to know the kind of omega he kissed.
I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek. Kane wouldn’t want me to think like that.
I swallow hard as my mind reels. Everything he’s done and everything he’s told me all point to him not thinking I’m defective.
But still. It’s hard to rewire an entire lifetime of what I’ve been told.
“Why—why do you want to know?” I ask. I think I need to hear it out loud from him.
It takes him a bit of time to find an answer, but when he does, his warm green forest gaze returns to meet mine. “In the same way my past has gotten me to where I am now, I think yours has too and I want to get to know you.”
“But…” But what if he hears my past and everything falls apart?
“I’m not the best at this, I’m probably the worst at this out of all the guys, but when I told you about my past, about killing when I was a kid, did you think I was my past? That I’m a murderer? ”
“No! Of course not,” I say, leaning up and resting my hand against his chest. “You were just a kid and they were evil, evil monsters.”
He gives me a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes before he presses my hand harder onto his chest. I can feel his heart beating beneath my palm.
“Well, sometimes I don’t even believe that.
So I know how that fear feels, like you’re waiting for everything to fall apart.
I just want you to know in the same way you were so quick to defend me, to tell me that I’m not my past, I feel the same way about you and whatever’s brought you here. ”
He leans in and brushes a soft kiss against my forehead. “You don’t have to tell me about your past until you’re ready, but please don’t think it’s going to hurt the way any of us view you, okay?”
Tears start to well in my eyes. I’ve lived my entire life with fear and shame as my constant companions. His words feel like a lighthouse beacon in a dark storm.
“O—Okay, I’ll try,” I whisper, burying my head into his chest. “It—it wasn’t my first kiss, technically. I don’t know how many people have kissed me, but I’ve never wanted to kiss them. Not until you.” Well, I guess technically, not until Madden.
I glance up at him when his scent sharpens with anger. His jaw is clenched and he’s staring up at the ceiling. He glances down at me, softening his expression as soon as he sees me looking up at him. “I’m not upset at you. Just upset that you had to go through that.”
He reaches around me and tucks the blankets around me, cocooning me in its warmth and the safety of having him next to me.
“It—it’s okay,” I say, trying to give him my own version of a reassuring smile. “I have you, and the rest of the guys in the pack now, right?”
“Yes,” he says, his eyes piercing into mine. I can feel the sincerity in his words within every fiber of my being.
“I—I’m glad.” I lean my head into his chest and let out a small yawn.
“Go to sleep little one,” he murmurs against my hair.
“You’ll be here with me?” I whisper. “Even when I wake up?”
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Okay,” I yawn. “You try and sleep too.”
I drift off, surrounded by Kane’s soothing pine forest scent.