Chapter 10
TEN
DALLAS
As we walk along the river after getting our ice cream, the last thing I’m trying to do is watch Haven as she licks her cone, but it’s really fucking hard to keep my eyes straight and stay focused.
“Mhmm,” she practically moans, and I swear to God I almost fall over myself. I’m coordinated. I’m athletic. Yet if you were a bystander watching me right now, you’d sure as shit never know that.
I shouldn’t be fantasizing about replacing that ice cream she’s licking with my dick for multiple reasons.
One, she’s whole. And normal. She doesn’t have any skeletons in her closet or a dark past that haunts her in the night.
Two, our families are best friends. If we ever found ourselves tangled up in something more than just childhood friends who like to bicker and it ended badly, things would be awkward for our parents, and I’d never want that.
And three, her brother is my best friend.
Noah has been there for me in times when I wouldn’t let anyone else in.
He knows more than anyone else about my past, and still, he’s never once turned his back on me, even in the first year or so when my parents adopted me and I acted like shit.
I can’t betray him by going after his sister.
“Are you enjoying your treat so much that you can’t speak, or are you deep in thought over there?” Haven teases, nudging me. “You’ve barely said five words since we’ve been on this walk.”
I look over at her, my feet slowing a bit.
One look in her eyes and I think about how much I’ve missed doing shit like this.
How much fun the three of us used to have.
Me, her, and Noah. Then I went and fucked it all up by kissing her and losing my mind.
I don’t think I’ve come back from that kiss since.
Looking away, I return to my pace walking. Not as fast as I normally would though, because her legs are a helluva lot shorter than mine.
“Nah,” I utter, finishing my ice cream. “Just thinking about the game Friday, that’s all.”
I can feel her eying me over for a few seconds.
“You’re so much like Harley,” she finally says. “Both of you are so intense. Like nothing else matters besides softball and football.”
That makes me stop right in my tracks, and I stare at her, narrowing my eyes.
“Short, you’re ranked the number three shortstop in all of college softball right now. There’s no way you don’t think that way too. I’ve watched you play. I’ve seen you lose—and you’re a terrible loser, by the way.”
“I’ll give you that,” she says, licking her cone again. “But I also know it’s just a game. So while I may be pissy after a loss, picking apart what I could have done better leading up to it, I don’t stress. I used to, but it only makes me play worse, and then I have way more errors.”
I don’t argue because she does know how to balance fun and work, I’ll give her that.
Haven may train hard and be incredibly talented, but she has a good time too.
When my dumbass roommates have parties, she’s always there, shaking her ass and pouring shots down her throat.
I fucking hate it, because it means I can’t disappear into my room to get away from it.
Instead, I feel the need to watch as she shamelessly flirts with every dude in the room right under my nose.
Harley isn’t like that. Occasionally, she’ll get dragged to a party, but it’s more than clear the entire time she’s there that she hates it.
There are innocent girls like Harley Meadows, and then there are good girls with a bit of a wild side like Haven King. And while I love her wild side, it also stresses me the fuck out.
A lone lash sits just under her eye, and before I can stop myself, I reach for it, plucking it away and holding it out in front of her. She seems stunned, her eyes flying from mine to my hand.
“Make a wish,” I say softly, pretending like it’s no big deal.
She doesn’t move right away. In fact, she stands here, dazed for at least another ten seconds before finally, she blows on the lash, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Done,” she whispers.
“What’d ya wish for, Short?” I mumble, quickly stuffing my hands into my pockets.
“Can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” she says, sounding more unsure of herself than usual before she walks over to a trash can and throws away the small part of the cone that was left. “Are you ready to head back? I have to get to class, and you have to get to practice.”
The way her energy has shifted, and how she’s no longer looking me right in the eyes, tells me I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done the stupid make a wish thing, but my dumb ass couldn’t help myself, and now she’s uncomfortable.
“Yeah,” I utter with a curt nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
“I’ll text you later and let you know our next session,” she says, quickly pushing the passenger door open, eager to get away from me. “Great job today. Keep it up.”
I don’t even get a chance to say a word before she’s out the door and darting down the road to The Nest. I don’t bother chasing her to ask what’s wrong because that would just make things worse, and right now, it’s obvious we’re both just ignoring the elephant in the room.
It helps that she really thinks I don’t remember kissing her.
Because if she knew the truth, that would fuck everything up.
As I watch her in my rearview mirror before she disappears down the street, I replay the moment I fucked things up forever in my mind—just like I have countless times before.
I watched her all night as she flirted with a dude named Anthony who had made a bet with some of the guys on the basketball team that he could get her to blow him by the end of the night.
I wasn’t fucking having it though. I didn’t want to make it obvious, and I didn’t want to upset her.
So instead of making a scene, I just watched and made sure she never went anywhere alone with him.
When she went down the hallway toward the bathroom, I followed her. I knew I scared her when I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into a dark bedroom, but I didn’t care. I had a few drinks in me, but I was far from drunk. I would never allow myself to get too impaired to keep an eye on her.
Slamming the door behind us, I crowd her against it, glaring down at her because I’m so fucking pissed that I care so much.
All night, I had girls coming over to me, and I pushed all of them away because I had to make sure she didn’t do anything dumb.
Partly because I care about her, but more because I’m so fucking selfish and don’t want her mouth on another dude.
“What the hell are you doing, D?” She glares up at me, her big green eyes confused and angry.
“Saving your ass from doing something stupid,” I say through gritted teeth. Haven had a way of just trusting people. I guess it was because she didn’t grow up the way I did and didn’t know any better. But fuck, it made me mad to watch.
“Doing something stupid?” she blurts out, her mouth slamming shut for a split second.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re even talking about, but I also have to tell you what I do is none of your business.
” Her eyes narrow to slits, and she pumps her chest up as if trying to show me how tough she is.
“What, did Noah send you? He couldn’t be here because he’s away with my dad and so he sent you to make sure I don’t have fun?
” She shakes her head bitterly. “He’s my younger brother, D.
He doesn’t get to have a say in what I do. ”
She starts to edge past me, but I slam my palms on both sides of her, keeping her there. Everything about her pisses me off. She’s careless and na?ve. She sees the good in people, even though not everyone deserves that. She danced and shook her ass all night as I was forced to stand by and watch.
I fucking hate her for it.
“Let. Me. Go.” She looks up at me with pure hatred, but when my neck cranes, and I duck my face closer to hers, her nipples harden under her tight T-shirt. I’m young—sixteen, actually. But I know with everything I am that I love this girl.
“Anthony is a fucking player,” I hiss, my chest heaving in uneven breaths. “And here you are, throwing yourself at him, offering yourself up like a piece of fucking ass.”
Her hand connects with my cheek so fast that I never saw it coming.
I had seen her mad plenty of times. She had punched me as a joke, but never once had she slapped me with such fury as she does tonight.
I know she thinks I’m just her brother’s best friend, telling her what to do.
Inside, I’m losing my mind, watching her throw herself at a dude who only sees her as a prize.
The sting from her palm has my cheek screaming, and for a split second, she almost looks scared when my face grows redder with anger.
My eyes fall to her lips, and for a moment, I fight an internal battle with myself to let her go.
I’ve wanted to kiss her for as long as I can remember, but I knew this wasn’t the time or place. Especially after I’d just insulted her.
Who was I kidding? There would never be a time or a place for us.
I knew that. And yet, my hand lifts from the wall, grips her face, and then my mouth is on hers before either of us has time to realize how fucking stupid it is.
She may have frozen for a second, but quickly, she’s kissing me back.
Her plump lips taste like heaven, and I don’t want to come up for air.
I knew that when I did, I’d have to face what I had done.
Finally pulling back, I’m as fucking breathless as she is. And all it took was one look in her eye to know I had done something that I could never take back.
At least, not unless I pretend to forget it.
A loud knock on the window of my truck scares the shit out of me and pulls me out of the memory. Noah stands there, looking at me like I’m insane.