Jorak
I’m going to fucking kill Mercer and every fucking doctor in that room when I get a chance. I’m drained, pissed off, and five steps away from Asa’s office door, but it doesn’t feel like a victory. Escaping from the facility doesn’t feel like freedom.
It just feels like another sentence about to start. The last day consisted of fighting another failed node, watching people being wheeled into ambulances as my energy drained and the bond between Asa and me strained further.
Last night, his need poured through the connection, the phone Mercer gave me ringing incessantly on his desk. Thank fuck I had put it on silent as I debriefed them, but my chest hurt at how much Asa was dealing with alone.
And since then, I’ve been trying to find a way out of the fucking facility, no amount of lies about missing class or needing to grab something from campus allowing me out the front door. Until of course, Mercer gave in, believing that I needed to attend a study group at five.
Mercer is going to find me sooner or later but he’s not going to hurt Asa. He won’t touch him. He can’t have what’s mine.
I blow out a deep breath, knowing full well I’m not returning at seventeen-hundred hours. Not when my Omega needs me. Not when I need him. I turn the handle and step inside, shutting the door behind me with a finality that echoes off the bookshelves.
Asa is standing by his desk, a stack of ungraded papers in one hand and a look of pure, concentrated fury on his face.
He’s pale, the shadows under his eyes looking like bruises against his skin.
He smells of vanilla and sharp, agitated pear, the scent of an Omega who has spent the last several hours fighting the rot that comes with the distance between us.
"Get out," he says. His voice is tight, vibrating with a frantic energy that feeds the static under my skin.
"I can't," I say. My voice is lower than I intended, rough with the whiskey-smoke thickness that only happens when I’m too close to him. "You were spiraling. I could feel it through the marrow, Asa."
He laughs, a sharp, jagged sound that has no humor in it as he starts pacing.
"Oh, you could feel it? How convenient. I called you several times. I left messages. I sat here like a fool while my body tried to turn itself inside out all night because you weren't there. I’ve been dealing with this, this itch under my skin all fucking day and the suppressants don’t work.
I’ve been slick and needy and... And now you just walk in?
No explanation? No 'sorry I was busy being a lethal weapon'? "
I stay by the door. If I move toward him now, I’ll break something.
Either the desk or the fragile boundary he’s trying to maintain.
"I’m on a leash, Asa. My phone was on his desk because I’m not allowed to keep it on me.
I swiped it the first time but then there was another node failure and...
this is the first moment I was able to get away. "
Asa stops pacing and wheels around to face me. "Don't do that. Don't give me the brooding soldier routine. You’re a graduate student. You’re supposed to be in my seminar, not lurking in the shadows of my life like some inevitable tragedy."
"I’m not a student," I say, the words landing heavy between us.
I take a step forward, and he flinches, though he doesn't back away.
"The university placement was a lie. My boss, Mercer, put me here because the campus is sitting on three failing suppression nodes. I’m here to bleed off the corruption before it levels the district.
My enrollment is just paperwork to keep the board of regents from asking why an S-Class Enigma is wandering their library.
" I swallow, hating that I hadn’t told him the full truth before.
The air in the room shifts. The pear scent goes sour with shock. Asa’s hand goes to the edge of his desk. "So it’s all a theater," he whispers. His eyes are wide, searching mine for a lie he won't find. "The classes. The office hours. You’re just... equipment on loan?"
"I belong to the Redbrook Stabilization Center," I say.
The truth tastes like ash. "My movements are logged.
My medication is timed. When I told you I couldn't come last night, it wasn't a choice. I was in a containment unit being scanned for power leaks because I’ve been too stable since the rut. They think something is wrong with me because I’m not tearing the walls down. "
Asa takes a breath, and I see the moment the anger turns into something sharper. Something like fear. "If you’re their property, then what am I? To them? To you? Am I just the cooling element for their favorite reactor? You called me baby and said all those things. Were they lies?"
"You’re the only thing that’s mine," I growl.
The Black Current flares, a spark of dark energy jumping from my fingertips to the metal frame of his desk.
I don't care about the facility. I don't care about Mercer’s logs.
I cross the distance before he can move, pinning him between the desk and my body.
"Is that supposed to be romantic?" Asa snaps, though his breath hitches.
He presses his palms against my chest, trying to push me back.
He might as well be trying to move a mountain.
"To be the private possession of a state-owned monster? I spent my whole life being F-Class so the ESA would forget I existed. I built a life out of being invisible, Jorak. And you just brought their spotlight right to my front door." His fingers curl into my shirt, his gaze narrowing. “We already crossed a line a week ago but last night... I needed you. This can’t work. I can’t be your... your guide or however this works if you just use power as you please and then let me suffer.”
Guilt moves through me as I gently cup his face in my hands.
“I didn’t choose this, Asa. I’m so fucking sorry.
I didn’t know they were going to send me out last night.
Fuck, you have to believe me. I’ve never had a Guide before, not one that’s been able to withstand more than once with me and never one I’ve bonded with.
It’s always just been me using my essence, my energy and then...
” I stop, realizing how many excuses I’m throwing at the man I’m trying to apologize to.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Asa. ”
He looks up at me, his eyes bright with unshed tears and a stubborn, beautiful defiance. "You’re impossible. You’re a disaster. You’re everything I’ve worked fifteen years to avoid."
"Then tell me to go," I challenge him. I lean down, my mouth inches from his. "Tell me you don't feel the static. Tell me you don't want me to stay."
He blows out a small breath, his body starting to vibrate with a visible need as his scent sweetens through the office. "I hate you," he gasps against my lips, even as he drags me closer. "I hate that I need this. I hate that I’m counting the seconds until you touch me again."
"Then stop counting," I murmur. I scoop him up, his legs instantly wrapping around my waist. He’s light, but he feels like the only solid thing in a world made of shifting shadows. I carry him toward the back of the office, toward the small, curtained-off area where there’s a small nest built up of odd pillows and dark-colored blankets.
It’s not a nest yet, but the moment I lay him down, I can see the instinct taking over.
Asa rolls onto his side, his hands frantically pulling at the blankets, dragging a heavy wool throw over his shoulders.
He’s creating a perimeter. I watch him, my chest heaving, the Black Current finally settling into a low, steady thrum.
He looks at me from the middle of his makeshift sanctuary, his hair a mess, his scent filling the small space until I can't breathe anything else.
"Get in," he murmurs. "If you’re going to ruin my life, the least you can do is help me survive the night."
I shed my jacket and boots, moving with a deliberate slowness that makes his eyes track every motion. When I slide into the narrow space beside him, the heat is instantaneous. He practically lunges at me, burying his face in the crook of my neck, his hands fumbling with the buttons of my shirt.
“If you ever fucking leave me hanging like that again, I’m going to research a way to break the bond.” He drags his tongue along my neck and pulls back to look at me. “I was in pain, Eni. Nothing helped. Do you hear me? Nothing.”
I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like, especially after I had just told him I’d be there.
"Talk to me," he whispers, his breath hot against my skin. "Like you did last night. I need this, okay? And then we can talk. Fuck, I need relief.”
I can still see the hesitancy in his eyes but I’m willing to give him everything just to feel Asa against me again.
I wrap my arms around him, pulling him flush against me until there’s no air left between us.
I can feel his heart hammering against my ribs, a frantic rhythm that I want to slow down with my own.
"I’ve spent ten years in a room with white walls and no windows, Asa.
I’ve forgotten how to be a person. But when I’m with you, the Black Current stops screaming. It just... listens."
He pulls back just enough to look at me, his expression softening into something so tender it hurts to look at. "An F-Class Guide shouldn't be able to do that, Jorak. We both know the math doesn't work."
"Maybe the math is wrong," I say, tracing the line of his jaw with my thumb. "Maybe the ESA lied about more than just my enrollment."
He whimpers a little when I kiss the sensitive spot under his ear, his body arching into mine.
He’s slick, I can smell it now, the sweet, heavy scent of an Omega in the early stages of a heat that’s being pulled forward by my presence.
I slide my hand down, palm flat against his stomach, feeling the way he trembles.
He’s so soft under my touch, a stark contrast to the jagged, entropic power I carry.
"You’re staying?" he asks, his voice small and vulnerable in the dark of the office. "You’re not going to vanish the moment I close my eyes?"
"I’m not going anywhere," I promise, pulling the blankets up over both of us. "Mercer can come for me in the morning. But tonight, I’m just a man in a room with someone who isn't afraid of him."
Asa settles against me, his breathing finally evening out. “We shouldn’t stay here,” he mumbles. “But mmhm just a few minutes,” he says as his voice trails off. I already locked the door and the small curtain wards us off should someone come in here.
I’m not stupid enough to think we’re safe, either.
I just know that the static in my blood is gone, replaced by a deep, resonant peace that feels like a miracle.
For the first time in my life, the cage doesn't matter.
The only thing that matters is the weight of him in my arms and the knowledge that, for as long as I can hold him, the world can't touch us.
Asa's fingers twitch against my chest, his nails catching slightly on the fabric of my undershirt.
"What happens when they come for you?" he asks, his voice barely a thread of sound in the dark.
He doesn't look up, keeping his forehead pressed against the hollow of my throat.
"When you don't show up. What do they do to you? "
I tighten my grip on him, a possessive instinct I can't suppress. "They'll probably increase the suppressant dosage for a few days. They won't kill me, Asa. I'm too expensive to discard. Mercer treats me like a vintage car; he hates the mileage, but he'll never scrap the engine."
Asa lets out a shaky breath, finally pulling back just enough to look at me.
His eyes are dark, the pupils blown wide from the lingering pheromones.
"That's not funny, Jorak. You're talking about your life like you're a piece of hardware.
And if you're hardware, then I'm... what?
A diagnostic tool? They're going to find out about me.
If you're being monitored this closely, they'll know your stability levels have flatlined. They'll look for the source."
"I'll protect you," I say, the words sounding hollow even to my own ears. How do I protect him from a system that owns the ground I stand on? "I'll find a way to mask the readings. I've done it before with minor flares."
"You're an S-Class Enigma, and I'm a documented F-Class failure," Asa counters, a bitter edge returning to his tone.
He shifts, sitting up slightly, the wool blanket sliding down his shoulders to reveal the pale, sweat-slicked curve of his neck.
The sight of him like this, vulnerable, marked by my scent, trapped in a nest made of academic debris, makes the Black Current roar.
It wants me to claim him fully, to mark him so deeply that even Mercer wouldn't dare touch him.
"The math doesn't just 'not work,' Jorak.
It's impossible. If they find out an F-Class is grounding an Enigma of your caliber, they won't just study me.
They'll dissect me. They'll want to know how a 'broken' Guide can do what the S-Class elites can't."
He's right, and the realization is a cold splash of reality. My presence in his life is a death sentence for his anonymity. Every moment I spend here, soaking in his calming influence, I’m leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for the Stabilization Center to follow.
I should leave. I should get up right now, put on my boots, and walk back to the facility before the sun fully sets.
But when I move to shift away, Asa's hand shoots out, grabbing my wrist with surprising strength. "Don't you dare," he hisses. "Don't you dare use that 'protecting me' logic to walk out that door. You already brought the fire to my house, Jorak. You don't get to leave me alone in the smoke."
I freeze, looking at his hand on my wrist. "I thought you wanted me gone. You said I was a disaster."
"You are," he whispers, his expression softening into a painful sort of longing.
He leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine.
"But you're my disaster. God help me, I don't know why, but when you're not here, the world feels like it's screaming.
The static... it's not just yours anymore.
It's everywhere. When you touch me, it goes quiet. "
I reach up, cupping his face in both hands, the scent of pear ripening into something heavy and honeyed. As I pull him down into a kiss that tastes of desperation and destiny, the logic of the world falls away.
He whimpers, a soft, broken sound that vibrates through my chest, and he begins to pull me back down into the nest. I let him lead, let him arrange my limbs and tuck the blankets around us until we are a single knot of heat and heartbeat.
"Stay," he murmurs, his eyes drifting shut.
"Just for now. Let the world be someone else's problem for a few hours. "