2. Bailey
CHAPTER 2
Bailey
I watch as Officer Sutton walks out the front door and Charlotte gets back in her chair. She continues to draw quietly as I sit, my mind trying to process the day’s events. I shake my head before I can think too much about it. I need to be strong for Charlie. I look at the clock on the stove and realize it’s past dinnertime.
“Baby Girl, do you want mac and cheese for dinner?”
She looks up at me with a hopeful expression. “With hotdogs?”
“Yeah, with hotdogs.”
She nods enthusiastically.
I get up and make dinner. Luckily, I’m right-handed because my left is so sore, I’m not sure I’d be able to cook with it. When our food is done, I plate it and Charlie and I sit at the table to eat. When we finish, I take her upstairs for a bath, filling it with bubbles and her favourite toys. I stay in the washroom with her, knowing that as soon as I’m alone, the stony facade I’ve put up will crumble into a million pieces around me and I won’t be able to stand.
The feeling of my little girl curled into my side as I read her a bedtime story places a tiny patch on my very broken heart. Once she’s fallen asleep, I sneak out of her room and into my en-suite washroom.
I evaluate myself in the mirror. White Steri-Strips over my left eye and my split lip jump out at me, and I grimace, causing me to wince in pain. The marks on my face are tender, the redness is going down and the bruising colour is starting to appear.
I steel myself as I slowly remove my clothes, tossing them in my laundry hamper. I feel so ashamed for letting this happen. Not only did I put myself in this situation, but Charlie witnessed it. Turning on the shower, I wait for the water to warm before I step under.
The water immediately melts my walls, and I slump to the base of the shower as chest-heaving sobs escape me. My head rolls back and to the side. As the water washes over me, I watch it go down the drain along with what little strength I had left for the day. I sit under the water for what feels like forever.
When my sobs finally subside, I force myself to stand and wash my hair and body. I move gently over my sore spots, not wanting to aggravate them. Turning off the water, I change into my ugly comfy jammies and climb under the covers. I fall asleep hoping today was all a dream.
O www , that’s the only thought that goes through my mind as I wake up. My head is pounding, my left eye is partially swollen, my mouth is dry, my upper lip hurts, and my left arm throbs where it was grabbed yesterday. I lie in bed, taking deep breaths. After a minute, I push myself to get up and slowly head to Charlie’s room. I peek my head in and see she’s still asleep. When I get to the kitchen, I make coffee before grabbing my phone and pulling up my best friend’s number.
“Hey, hun. How are you?” Lily answers.
“Okay, you?”
“I’m good. What’s up?”
“Can you do me a huge favour? Can you take Charlie for the weekend?”
“Of course, hun. What happened?”
“I’ll tell you when you get here.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in twenty.”
“Thanks, Lil, love you.”
“Love you too. See you soon.”
I hang up and pour myself a cup of much-needed caffeine. I want to spend the weekend with my girl, but I don’t want her to see me like this. Hopefully, after a couple of days, it will all look better. Taking my coffee into the living room, I settle on the couch and turn on one of my shows.
Twenty minutes later, the front door opens and Lily walks in. She stops at the entrance to the living room. I hear her sharp intake of breath all the way across the room, and it breaks me. A sob leaves me, and Lily is beside me in an instant, holding me and softly brushing her hand through my hair. I lean into her, absorbing her strength.
After I catch my breath, I tell Lily about what happened with Derek. I can’t look her in the face as I recount the story. I fidget with my fingers in my lap. When I finish, she pulls me into her again and I rest my head on her shoulder.
“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” Lily’s words turn my stomach. How can she say that? I’m the one who brought Derek into my life and, in turn, Charlie’s life. I’m the one who didn’t just listen to him yesterday and talk to him like he wanted. If I had given in, maybe it would have turned out differently .
“Bailey, get out of your head. This was not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the actions of someone else.”
I nod, but her words don’t fully seep in.
“Aunt Lily!” Charlie yells from the top of the stairs. She rushes down and throws herself onto Lily’s lap, wrapping her arms around her neck.
“Hi, sweet pea. What do you think about spending the weekend with Aunt Lily? We can go get pancakes for breakfast!”
“Yay!” Charlie screams.
“Why don’t you go get dressed and pack a bag and then we can head out?” That’s all it takes for Charlie to scramble off Lily’s lap and run right back upstairs.
“Thanks, Lil,” I say.
“Anytime, you know that, hun.” She leans down and places a quick kiss on my forehead before she joins Charlie to help her pack.
As I’m plating my breakfast, I hear them come down the stairs, and the next thing I know, Charlie is wrapping herself around my legs. I remove myself from her grip and crouch down to her height, wrapping her in my arms.
“I love you, Baby Girl,” I whisper in her ear before releasing her.
“Are you okay, Mommy?”
“Of course, Baby Girl. Now go have fun with Aunt Lily. Be good for her.” With a quick kiss on her cheek, I send her off.
I spend my weekend doing a lot of nothing. I relax in the bath and on the couch, reading or watching TV. By Sunday evening, my face isn’t as swollen and my cuts don’t look as bad. The bruises can be covered with makeup, so I decide to still go to work tomorrow. Lily has agreed to keep Charlie for the night and drop her off at school in the morning on her way to work.
Monday morning, I gently apply makeup to my face, covering my bruises as much as possible. Thankfully, I make it through my workday without anyone asking questions. I’m so happy to pick up my Baby Girl. When she sees me outside her school, she runs to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, and I chuckle. She’s stronger than you’d think.
“I missed you, Mommy!”
“I missed you, too, Baby Girl.”
I give her a quick squeeze before pulling back and placing a kiss on her forehead. I get her settled in the car and we make our way home. My girl brightens my day. She is sitting in the back of the car singing along to the music, just enjoying her life. After we make our way inside, I get her settled at the kitchen table doing her homework and fix her a snack.
I’m folding laundry on the couch when she comes and sits beside me.
“What’s up, Baby Girl?”
“Mommy, can we bring Caleb cookies? Today at school we talked about Thanksgiving and what we are thankful for. I want to say thank you to Caleb.”
Something catches in my throat. My sweet girl has spent her day wanting to thank the man who came and saved us from her father. I remember the feeling of safety that washed over me looking into his steel-grey eyes. His large frame towered over my five-foot-three body, but I didn’t feel a need to cower. His blond hair was cut short on the sides but had length on top. I wanted to run my fingers through it and feel how soft it is.
I shake my head. I’m not in my right mind. He saved us from a scary experience, and I’m projecting feelings onto him because of it.
“Yeah, Baby Girl, we can take him cookies.”
She’s so happy she jumps straight off the couch and does a little happy dance.
“What flavour should we make him, Mommy? Chocolate chip? Maybe M&M, I think he’d like M&M. We should make him both!”
I smile as she rambles about cookie flavours.
O n Thursday, we go to the store after I pick her up from school and get the ingredients to make two flavours of cookies. We spend Saturday baking. Charlie is so excited to help. She stands on a chair in front of the counter, biting the side of her lips while she carefully measures the ingredients. I hold back a small laugh because she’s so adorable.
Watching her like this, so happy doing something as simple as baking cookies with me, fills me with joy and warms my blood. While the cookies are in the oven, she draws him a card. It’s late by the time both types of cookies are done.
Putting her to bed, she talks excitedly about going to the station and seeing Caleb. I smile at her, happy she’s okay after last Friday’s events and that she’s happy and excited about something. I toss and turn in bed, memories of that day replaying in my mind.
We decide to wait until Monday to drop by the station to see if Caleb is there and give him his cookies. Lily comes by on Sunday, and we do Thanksgiving dinner because neither of us likes the late clean-up the day before we go back to work.
As I make breakfast for Charlie and me Monday morning, she comes running down the stairs so fast I fear she’ll trip and fall.
“Mommy, is it time to go? Can we take the cookies to Caleb?” I can feel the excitement radiating off my little girl.
“Not yet, Baby Girl. We are going to eat breakfast and then we’re going to play outside for a bit. I thought we could go to Sammy’s for lunch and could stop by the station on our way. How does that sound?”
“Yay!”
We eat quickly before we head upstairs to get dressed. Going into my closet, I find a T-shirt and cardigan to cover the bruises on my arm, a pair of jeans, and black knee-high boots. It’s October now, and the cool Canadian weather is starting to bite.
Downstairs, I find Charlie waiting for me by the front door. I put her jacket on her, making sure it’s zipped up. I offer her gloves and a toque, but she says no to the gloves, so I tuck them into my purse for later. I grab my jacket, and we head out and towards the park. Charlie makes friends with the other kids quickly and is running all over. I find a bench to the side where I can watch her while I read my book on my phone.
When the other kids are called by their parents, Charlie runs up to me with a huge smile.
“Is it time to go see Caleb, Mommy?”
“Yeah, Baby Girl. We will head home and drive to the station.”
She jumps up and cheers before grabbing my hand and trying to pull me off the bench. I let out a small laugh as I get up, and we walk hand-in-hand back to the house.
The entire car ride, she is full of energy, shimmying in her booster seat as she tells me just how excited she is to see him again.
My stomach tightens as I pull into the parking lot of the station. The last time I saw this man was my lowest moment. I wasn’t able to protect my daughter. She was the one who had to call 911.
What must he think of me for putting my daughter in that situation? He must think I’m a horrible mother, and I can’t blame him because I can agree. Charlie never should have been in a situation to witness that. Derek never should have done it, but I know him. I should have handled the situation better, knowing she was in the house with us.
Charlie’s voice pulls me out of my nervous mind.
“Mommy, I want to go inside.”
Opening my door, I move to the back of the car, unbuckle her, and grab the container of cookies from the backseat.
“Can I hold the cookies? I want to give them to Caleb.”
I smile down at her. “Of course.”
Handing her the cookies, she holds the container with two hands like it’s the most precious treasure in the world. I pull open the door to the station and head to the front counter, where I’m greeted by a woman who appears to be in her early thirties.
“Good afternoon, what can I do for you?”
“I want to see Caleb,” Charlie calls from beside me.
I run a hand over her hair and smile down at her before returning my gaze to the officer. “Good afternoon, we’re here to see Officer Sutton. My daughter wanted to drop something off for him.”
“Oh, well, I’m sorry, but he’s out right now.”
As she says it, all the breath leaves my lungs as Officer Sutton walks through a door at the back of the room. His blond hair looks like he’s been running his hand through it and his shirt strains against his muscles as he walks. Like he senses me looking at him, his gaze snaps to me.
“Caleb,” Charlie calls, causing us to break eye contact.
He looks down at her, and a smile tips his lips. I’m not sure how someone his size manages to move as gracefully as he does when he comes to stand in front of us. He immediately crouches down to Charlie’s height.
“Hi, Charlotte. How are you?”
“I’m good. I brought you cookies and a card,” she says as she thrusts the container out towards him .
He chuckles as he looks at it. “You did, did you? That was very nice, thank you.”
“They’re my favourite flavours, too. Chocolate chip and M&M.”
His eyes widen playfully. “You made me two kinds of cookies? You know, chocolate chip cookies are my favourite.”
Charlie’s eyes go wide too. “They are? We have the same favourite cookie.”
“We do. This is my favourite thing this week. Thank you, Charlotte.”
He stands and smiles. “Hi. Thank you for the cookies.” This time, his words are directed at me, and a blush fills my cheeks.
“You’re welcome. Charlie came home from school the other day talking about Thanksgiving and said she wanted to do something to say thank you to you.”
“That was thoughtful.”
“Caleb, we are going to Sammy’s. Do you want to come too? They have really good chicken strips and chocolate milkshakes.”
I run my hand over her hair. “Oh, honey, I’m sure that Officer Sutton is busy. We should let him get back to work.”
“Okay.”
Disappointment fills her voice, and Caleb obviously notices, too, because he says, “Actually, I’m just getting off shift now. If you can give me five minutes, I’ll go change and we can head over there.”
“Yay!” Charlie exclaims as she does her happy dance right there in the middle of the reception area of the station. Caleb chuckles at her antics before looking at me and mouthing, Is it okay? I nod. A small smile tips his lips before he turns and makes his way to get changed.