11. Bailey
CHAPTER 11
Bailey
C aleb’s entire demeanour changed the second we walked into the restaurant. It was like he completely disassociated. His head jolted as he looked around. His eyes were wide and alert, and at one point, his nose scrunched, almost in disgust. Not wanting to startle him, I placed a hand on his arm and softly squeezed as I whispered his name. When his eyes found mine, I knew what he was experiencing at that moment wasn’t pleasant. There was pain written all over his face, but mainly in his eyes. His steel-grey eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them, and his pupils were as wide as saucers.
Using my eyes, I encouraged him to breathe with me, and he did. I’m sure the smile he offered me after was meant to be encouraging, but it didn’t fool me. Whatever he had gone through in those minutes had been difficult for him.
Seeing him reassure Charlie was a whole other thing. He told her the truth without telling her too much. So many people hide things from kids, but they’re smart and observant. They notice things most people don’t, and I know Charlie could tell Caleb wasn’t acting like he usually does. She seemed satisfied with his answer, and she took his hand as the hostess led us to our table.
I read over the menu as Caleb helps Charlie decide what to get. They decide on a Shirley Temple and spaghetti. He gets lasagna, and I get ravioli. Caleb and I sit in rapt attention as Charlie tells us her favourite things about skating tonight and how she wants to do it again.
I can tell Caleb isn’t as relaxed as he was before we stepped into the restaurant. His shoulders are pulled back and tension radiates off him. He smiles at Charlie as she talks. I know his smile is real because of the wrinkles around his eyes, but it doesn’t have its usual brightness.
Reaching across the table, I grab his hand and squeeze it. His head turns, and he meets my gaze. His eyes dart between where I’m holding his hand and my eyes. After a few seconds, I watch his body relax slightly and I smile as he squeezes my hand back.
Our hands stay intwined as we talk until our food is delivered. Caleb is reluctant as he pulls his hand away from mine for the server to put our food down. Caleb helps Charlie with everything she needs. I’m so used to having to help her with her food whenever we go out to eat that it’s weird to sit here and be able to just eat my food. We all talk and laugh with each other, and it’s beginning to feel like the most natural thing in the world. The three of us are so comfortable with each other, as if this isn’t new.
After we finish our pasta, Caleb and Charlie decide to share a dessert. They order a brownie covered in vanilla ice cream, chocolate, and caramel drizzle. Caleb pays the bill, and we gather our jackets and scarves and head to his truck. I stand back and watch as he helps Charlie get settled into the booster seat he bought. I’m still in shock and awe at the fact this man went out and bought it. Not only did he buy a booster seat for her, but he did the research and found the best-rated one .
When Derek and I had Charlie, I was the one who pushed for us to get everything ready to bring her into this world. I did the research and the budgeting. I made a list of everything we needed and put together a registry. Seeing someone else value my daughter enough that they went through the trouble her father wouldn’t has me wanting to melt into a puddle. But I can’t. I have to remember that Derek was sweet in the beginning too. It was after we got married that things changed. Then, the yelling started. The blaming me for everything that went wrong started. And after Charlie was born, the physical violence started.
First, it was just grabbing my arms tightly while yelling in my face because he was mad she was crying and I hadn’t stopped it. Then it escalated to him hitting me because the house wasn’t clean, Charlie was crying, and, in his words, all he wanted was some goddamn peace and quiet and a clean fucking house.
For years, I blamed myself. For years, I covered the bruises and didn’t say anything, pushing through, thinking things would get better and my relationship would go back to the way it was before because I loved him. That was until he threw me down the stairs one day because Charlie had drawn on the walls in the upstairs hallway. That was my breaking point. Charlie had seen the whole thing. She was young enough that I’m not sure if she remembers it, but I couldn’t risk it happening again.
I went to the hospital with four broken ribs, cuts all over my face, a split lip, and a bruised tailbone. That night after the visit to the hospital, I took Charlie to Lily’s and filed for divorce the next morning. There was no going back for me.
I got the house when the divorce went through as I had inherited it from my parents when they passed, so Derek had to find somewhere else to go. He spent the next few months love-bombing me, trying to get me to change my mind. He apologized for throwing me dow n the stairs, saying it would never happen again. He started telling me about all the amazing things he would do for me if only I’d take him back. But I held strong. I knew I couldn’t put Charlie in that situation again.
I was granted full custody, but Derek was granted supervised visits with Charlie. As he had not previously shown any violent tendencies with her, I couldn’t keep her away from him. So that meant every other weekend, I was forced to see him. Forced to face the man who had hurt me, both physically and emotionally.
He used his visits to try to win me back, but I kept forcing his attention back to Charlie. Having him arrested is likely the only reason I haven’t heard from him recently, and I thank God for that.
Caleb opens my door for me and helps me up before leaning across and doing my seat belt for me.
“Got to make sure you’re both safe,” he says with a smile before retreating to the driver’s side.
We drive in silence as music plays through the stereo. When he gets to my place, he pulls up to the curb and opens my door, helping me down before moving to the back. Charlie is completely passed out. He unbuckles her and picks her up, cradling her to his chest before closing the door and walking to the front door.
He waits as I unlock it and toes his shoes off in the entryway before making his way up the stairs and straight to Charlie’s room. I lean against the door frame as I watch him pull back the covers and gently place her in bed before tucking her in. He leans in and whispers something to her before meeting me in the hallway. As we walk down the stairs, my stomach tightens. I’m not ready for him to go.
“Do you want some coffee or something else to drink?” I ask in an attempt to get him to stay longer .
He smiles at me. “I should probably head out.”
I feel the change on my face, and I know Caleb notices it too because his hand comes up and finds the nape of my neck, giving it a quick squeeze.
“Bailey, trust me, I’d love to stay, but I don’t think I could hold myself back from you if I did. So I’m going to go and I’ll text you and we can plan another date. I don’t want to skip a bunch of steps with you, Bailey. I want to get to know you. I want to get to know your amazing little girl. I want to do this right and in order to do that, I think I have to leave. Okay?”
Heat fills my cheeks, and I nod.
“Good,” he says before leaning forward until his lips hover over mine, and I hold my breath. “Can I kiss you good night?” His breath brushes over my lips as he whispers the question.
“Yes,” I exhale, and his lips are on mine.
He kisses me softly, seductively. I moan into his mouth, wanting more, but he doesn’t take it. His lips move slowly over mine, no tongue, just his lips brushing mine. He pulls back and gives my lips a couple of pecs before he says, “Good night.”
I watch as he makes his way to his truck then I close the door, lock it, and lean against it. Tipping my head back, I close my eyes. I can still feel his lips on mine. I push myself off the door and quickly make my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I strip and climb into bed, placing my phone beside me before reaching into my nightstand drawer and pulling out a rabbit vibrator.
I turn it on and drag it over my breasts, allowing it to vibrate on my nipples. The sensation causes them to stiffen. I continue down my body before positioning it at my entrance. Closing my eyes, I picture Caleb kissing me, picking me up and holding me against the wall in the hallway. Him leading me up the stairs and into my bedroom. I feel his lips on mine. Feel them brush across my skin and down my neck .
I pinch my nipple, imagining it’s his teeth. A guttural groan leaves me. I’m so turned on.
I increase the speed of the vibrator, and my back arches off the bed. I moan Caleb’s name as my body tightens. I imagine him hovering over me, removing my underwear and pushing down his boxers before thrusting inside me. That sends me right over the edge. I come calling his name as my back arches off the bed, my toes curl into my feet, and my hands reach for anything they can grab onto.
I turn off the vibrator as I hear a ding from my phone. Ignoring it, I go into my en-suite washroom and turn the shower on. When I’m done, I return to my bed and check my phone.
Caleb: God, Bails, that was fucking hot.
Caleb: You’re fucking killing me.
Caleb: You should know listening to that had me coming harder than I ever have. I can’t wait to get my hands on you.
Caleb: I don’t think I’ll be able to walk away with just a good night kiss next time.
FUCK!
I scroll up and see I accidentally sent Caleb a voice recording of my entire masturbation session. He heard me moaning and calling his name as I came. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to face him again. I ignore the messages, plugging in my phone and setting my alarms for the morning.