24. Caleb
CHAPTER 24
Caleb
A fter breakfast on Saturday, Bailey leaves for her doctor’s appointment and Charlie and I take Finn for a walk around the neighbourhood. The entire walk, Finn sticks to Charlie’s side. Any time someone approaches us, he positions himself between them and Charlie. When we get back, I make sure he has some water before I grab my bag and get Charlie loaded in the truck, and we head to the rink.
She tells me about the characters in her show as we make the drive. When we get there, she insists on carrying my sticks for me. She drags the blades across the cement because of her height. I’ll have to re-tape them, but to see how happy she is to help me with something so simple makes it worth it.
When we get inside, I tell her the number of the rink we’re playing on and she already knows the way. I follow behind her as she happily makes her way through the hallways. When we get to the dressing room, I knock on the door and call out to ensure everyone is still dressed before pushing the door open and leading Charlie inside. I show her where she can lean the sticks and then head to my usual spot in the dressing room and drop my bag.
The door opens, and Mac, our goali e, steps inside. He’s been out of the country for a few weeks due to work, so we had to find someone as backup for our last few games.
“Hey, man.” I lift my chin at him.
He lifts his chin back, and his eyes catch on Charlie. “This your girl?” he asks in his British accent.
Mac doesn’t hang out after the games. He usually showers quickly and leaves, so we don’t talk. He doesn’t know much about us and vice-versa. So his question doesn’t catch me off guard.
I look at Charlie, and the words come out of my mouth before my brain even processes them. “Yeah, this is Charlotte.” I place my hand on top of her head. “Charlie, this is my friend Mac.”
She smiles at me before looking back at Mac and offering him a shy wave. When I first met Charlie, she was so open and receptive to me, but I’ve noticed she wasn’t that way with everyone. Even with the guys, she didn’t open up to them at first. It took spending time around them to be more comfortable with them. The girls were a different story, though. She didn’t need as much time to warm to them, and I wonder if she witnessed more between Bailey and Derek than Bailey knows.
I hold Charlie close to my side as these thoughts race through my mind. I don’t want to think about what Charlie’s witnessed. That would also lead me to having to think about what Bailey’s endured, and I’m not sure I have the strength to not hunt down Derek right now.
I lead Charlie out of the dressing room and towards the bleachers. I take a seat, and she sits beside me. I feel her eyes on me. She looks at me hesitantly as she chews her lip the same way her mom does when she’s thinking about something. I shift so I’m facing her.
“What’s up, Little Bear?”
“Mac asked if I’m your girl. You said yes.”
“I did. Does that make you upset?”
A vise squeezes my heart as I wait for her answer. I didn’t realize how important her answer was until now. I feel as though I’m sitting on the edge of a cliff and her answer could send me over the edge, crashing to the bottom. My breath catches in my lungs as I sit and wait for her answer.
“No,” she says. “I wish you were my dad.”
The last part is whispered so quietly I barely hear it. My heart cracks at her confession, and all I want to do is hold and protect her from the world and anyone or anything that may try to hurt her. I open my arms for a hug, and she climbs right into them. I hold her tightly to my chest.
“I’ll always be here for you. Always. No matter what you want or need, you can always come to me. I want you to believe that. I will always be here for you,” I say into her hair.
I start to pull back, but she holds me tighter, and her tears run down her cheeks and soak into my shirt.
“Why doesn’t Daddy love us?”
I’m at a loss for words. I don’t want to overstep something that should be Bailey’s territory, but I’m the only one here right now, and I need to say something.
I clear my throat. “Sometimes people don’t know how to show their love. I think your dad loves you. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”
As much as I hate what Derek has done to these girls, I don’t doubt he believes he loves them.
“I love you, Caleb,” she whispers into my chest.
I hold her tighter. “I love you too, Little Bear.”
I continue to hold her for a minute before we pull apart and she gets settled with a few toys. When I see Liv, she smiles at me. Something on my face must give away how difficult the last few minutes have been for me because her smile drops and she waits at the edge of the hallway for me to join her.
“What’s wrong?” she asks in a hushed tone as I approach.
“She asked some hard questions about her dad,” I say, running a hand through my hair.
A look of sympathy crosses her face. “What’d she ask?”
“Why her dad doesn’t love them.”
Her hand goes to her chest, and heartbreak spreads across her face. “That poor girl.”
I nod. “Yeah, I told her I’m sure he loves her and that some people just don’t know how to show love, but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries. I’m just her mom’s boyfriend.”
Olivia reaches out and grips my forearm, squeezing it. “Don’t downplay your position in Charlie’s life, or Bailey’s. You may be Bailey’s boyfriend, but you have also become a safe space for those girls. They have not had it easy. You have provided them a place of safety. I know they aren’t just sitting around waiting for the ball to drop when it comes to you. That’s a huge thing when it comes to people in these situations. You’re doing great with them.”
I smile at her, appreciating her words.
Grayson calls my name and motions towards the dressing room, and I nod and him.
“Thanks, Liv, and thank you for hanging with Charlie during the game.”
“Of course, any reason to spend time with Charlie is a good one.”
Walking into the dressing room, I make my way towards my gear. I get dressed in silence, letting my thoughts run wild as I replay what Charlie and Liv said.
I wish you were my dad.
You have become a safe space for those girls.
Thankfully, the guys let me sit in my thoughts before we head to the ice. My head isn’t in the game. I miss passes and I don’t make the hits I usually would. At the start of the third, I notice Bailey sitting with Liv and Charlie. She smiles and waves, and I wave back. I feel a little more grounded being able to see her, but my thoughts are still in the clouds. We lose the game, 3-1, and I know that’s partly because of me, but I can’t muster the energy to care about it right now.
When we make it into the dressing room, the guys have decided to stop letting me brood.
“Okay, what gives?” Grayson says, dropping down beside me.
I sigh, and Josh and Matt join us. I lean against the wall and tilt my head back. “Charlie asked me why her dad doesn’t love them and then proceeded to say she wishes I was her dad.”
Silence. That’s all I get. I drop my chin and see the guys watching me.
“I thought you said she was your girl,” Mac says as he drops to the bench across from me.
I watch the guys as they tamper down their grins.
“She’s technically my girlfriend’s daughter,” I say.
He nods and leans down to undo his skates. He stops partway through and looks at me. "As someone who comes from a fucked up family, and if I'm right in assuming her dad has done some fucked up things, it's going to take her a lot to be able to trust new people who come into her life. If she trusts you, if she feels safe with you, you earned that. Don't take it for granted. Our parents can do some real damage to us."
I think that’s the most Mac has opened up to anyone on the team about his personal life, and I take his words to heart. He obviously knows what he’s talking about.
“When Liv tells me about her time with Charlie, she says Charlie only has great things to say about you. I think you just keep doing what you’re doing and see where things go. You obviously love and care for her. There is nothing anyone can do about the past,” Josh says.
“I do care for her,” I say, my voice serious. “I would do anything for that little girl. I want to give her the world.”
“Not all families look the same,” Matt says. “Just love her and everything will fall into place.” He claps me on the shoulder and moves to his bag and strips out of his gear and Josh does the same.
“They’re lucky to have you,” Grayson says.
I turn to him and shake my head. “No, I’m the lucky one. I never thought I’d have so many happy days. I enjoy going home to them, watching Charlie’s movies on the couch, coming home and seeing Bailey dancing to Taylor Swift while cleaning the kitchen. I just worry about what I’m going to do when she feels safe enough to go back to her place.”
“Then show them they’re meant to stay with you.”
Grayson’s words cement an idea in my head, and I know the first step of my plan to make sure they stay right where they’re supposed to be.
With me.