15. Chapter 15
It”s been a week.
A week since I”ve talked to her.
A week since i had her in my arms.
A week since she has been at Oakside.
A week since I”ve been able to lay eyes on her.
A family emergency. That is what she told me, but I”ve heard not a word since. Yesterday I was pissed that she just dropped off the face of the Earth. Art therapy has been put on hold. Her painting room was closed and nothing has been touched.
Today, I”m worried. So when Noah steps in to check on me, I straight out confront him about it.
Where is Carlee? Is she okay?I ask.
When his face instantly fills with pain, I know in my gut something is wrong. Very wrong.
Don”t lie to me. It”s all over your face.Then I watch the war inside his head happen.
I know he”s fighting the loyalty of respecting Carlee as an employee and probably their friend, but he also knows what she means to me.
Finally, Noah nods, saying, That last time she was here, she got a call her sister was in a car accident. She was in no condition to drive, so I drove her to get her niece. By the time I got the two of them home, she got another call. It was devastating news. Her sister and her brother in law had both died. Since then, she has been taking care of her niece and making all the arrangements.
It hits me like a ton of bricks, and I have to sit down. She has been hurting and here I was mad because she hadn”t reached out. What an idiot I am. Of course, there was a good reason.
Take me to her please. I ask Noah.
I don”t think that”s a good idea.
She is in pain and hurting. I need to be there for her. That”s my job. I stare Noah down.
We lock eyes for a moment, and finally he seems to understand that she is mine and by her side is where I belong.
Give me a few minutes. Let me see what I can do. Okay? he says.
I nod, getting ready to go because one way or another, I am going to her.
It seems like forever until Noah comes back to my room.
I talked to my wife. Today she is our running around getting Liz set up at her house. She is the one named in the will to take care of Liz. Lexi suggests we go tomorrow and I agree.
Even though I want to argue and complain, I know have to trust them. As much as I want to protect her, I also have to do what is best.
Okay. But we go early, right?
Noah agrees, leaving me with my thoughts.
My mind is racing with questions, and I need some answers. Knowing that Lexi is the one who could answer some of my immediate questions, I go to the lobby hoping to find her. Fortunately, she is behind the front desk. When I walk up, she looks up at me with a sad smile.
When is the funeral?I ask.
In three days.
I’m going to need something to wear, as I don”t have anything here.
She looks surprised, as if she didn”t think I”d be going. Why wouldn”t I be? Carlee is mine. That means taking care of her, and being by her side on one of the hardest days of her life.
I”ll make sure you have something to wear.
Thank you.
I go for a walk in the garden and let my mind wander. She is now responsible for her niece. Not only that, but she”s lost the only family worth a damn, and her best friend all in one swoop. Why didn”t she reach out to me, though? Why wouldn”t she tell me?
The questions keep circling in my head and by the time I reach the swing in the garden, my brain in yelling the answer at me.
Because you told her you didn”t want kids. She now has a young child in her life. When her entire life changed, she thought I wouldn”t want her anymore. She must have thought that because she was now raising her niece, it would be a deal breaker.
With any other girl I had ever dated, yes it would have been. My decision was firm and set. I did not want to have kids, and I was certain of it. But with Carlee, now that she’s raising her niece, it gives me vision and possibilities I never thought I”d have. Us raising her together in the farmhouse she painted comes to mind.
That night, my dreams are filled with Carlee and the small family we would have. The three of us are on the front porch of the farmhouse, a storm rolling in and Carlee laying on the swing with her head in my lap reading as I watch the storm. Her niece sitting on the ground next to a dog, playing with her pet, and having fun giving him treats.
I could imagine the three of us working in the garden and going horseback riding. It’s so clear in my dream that I wake up disoriented, and admittedly a little disappointed. Though it was just a dream, but it felt so real, and so perfect and I want it.
More than my next breath, I want that family with her. I want it all.