Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
LUCA
A WEEK LATER
“ T hanks for coming. This is a bit out of my depth,” I tell my mom as she bounds past me through the open door with three woven grocery store bags hanging from her arms. “What the hell have you brought?”
“Oh, you leave the church and forget how to speak properly towards your mother?” She narrows her eyes on me as she places all the bags on the table, making me feel five years old again.
I sigh. “No, Mama. Sorry.”
“I brought things I thought she might need or like. How is she doing today?”
I look toward the open door before I shrug. “As well as expected, I suppose. She’s been through an ordeal, and I don’t know how to… Ardesia thinks she needs to go to an institution.”
“Ardesia Ricci?” Mama asks, pausing her perusal of the bags she’d placed down.
I nod.
“I don’t like that you know men like him, Luca.”
“A priest knows people from all walks of life, Mama. Knowing the community was my job.”
“Still, men like him are dangerous; it’s best to steer clear. Ardesia might be right, but I’ll let you know. Has she showered?”
I shake my head. “It’s been nearly three weeks, Mama. I can’t get her to do much more than go to the bathroom briefly and eat the bare minimum.”
She nods once, heading toward our kitchen with an armload of meats, cheeses, and a loaf of bread. “Leave it to me,” she says.
Part of me feels guilty for calling her in for backup, but I don’t want to betray Sloane’s trust and have Ardesia call the local institution to come pick her up when it was her expressed wish to remain here, but I also can’t watch her waste away. Last night, while listening to her writhe in a nightmare I couldn’t get her to wake from, I thought about who I’d want beside me if I were to be suffering. Mama’s face instantly flickered through my mind, and I called her without hesitation.
Though I thought she would give me advice, not show up with armloads of food and wine.
“Come. I’ll help you get her up and into the shower. While you wash her, I’ll cook her lunch,” Mama tells me. I trail after her in wonderment at how she thinks she will convince Sloane to get out of bed. I repeatedly asked her if she wanted to shower, and she shooed me away.
“Sloane, I’m Miriam Russo, Luca’s mama. I hate that we’re meeting under such dark circumstances, but I’m here to help, not judge.”
Sloane looks at me from where she lies on her side, staring off. She’s been lost in thought for weeks now, tormenting herself with memories on a loop.
Her admission to me she came while Barone was molesting her had seemed to be the one thing she worried would bother me —the one thing she was carrying shame for. I thought she’d wake up feeling better once we talked a week ago.
It’s like all her demons came to collect their debts or the box she keeps them housed in was opened somehow, and now all hell has been unleashed inside her.
“Up we go, darling girl.” Mama tosses back the covers, not bristling at Sloane’s body stench as she pulls her to sit.
Sloane groans. “I don’t want to shower.”
“Well, we rarely get to do what we want , dear girl. You know that better than anyone, don’t you? We have to pick ourselves up and do the hard shit. One moment at a time, one foot in front of the other, it’s all you can do. Can you do that for me?” Mama puts her hands on her ample hips, glaring down at Sloane as I watch her struggle to her feet, her legs shaking.
“Now, are you comfortable with Luca showering you, or do you want my help?”
Sloane looks between Mama and me.
“It’s your choice. We’re both here to help you through this, Sloane, and to love you through it,” Mama adds, and my heart nearly bursts in my chest at her words and kindness.
This was the right decision.
Sloane looks at my mama, eyes brimming with tears.
She’s never had a mother figure care for her before, and Mama knows that. Her hand comes down on Sloane’s shoulder. “You’re not alone, dear girl. Not anymore.”
Tears break free, trailing down Sloane’s cheeks as Mama squeezes her shoulder. “Luca can shower me. I’m comfortable with him.”
“You’re sure?” Mama prods.
Sloane nods, and I push off the doorframe and head over to steady her, letting her lean on me as we move into the bathroom.
“I’ll make lunch for us,” Mama shouts as I get Sloane to the bathroom and help her undress while the water in the shower warms.
“She’s something,” Sloane says, and it’s the first time I’ve heard her speak in days.
I nod, a smile curving my lips. “She is, isn’t she? I hope you don’t mind her coming. I was thinking last night about how to help you—about who I’d want beside me if I had a choice. I always want her near me when I’m sick or down. She’s got this presence about her…” I shake my head, lost for words.
“She does. Thank you, Luca. For everything. I know I’ve been a burden, and I’m sorry, but…”
I silence her with a finger covering her lips. “You’re not a burden, little dove. Maybe stinky, but never a burden.”
She smiles as if the heavens open and God’s light shines through again.
I ignore the fact that she’s naked before me and help her into the tub, giving her a moment to get under the water as I sit on the toilet.
I hear her moan as the heat of the spray sinks through her weary body.
The sounds of Sloane showering and Mama banging around in the kitchen fill the space, and my heart fills with so much love. The last few weeks have been hell, but having both of my favorite women safe and sound in the same space makes me feel so lucky.
I don’t know how long it’ll take Sloane to come around, nor how I’m going to broach the subject of suggesting she speak with a professional, but I know that it’ll all work out if we believe it will—if we remain optimistic.
I stand and peel the curtain back to check on Sloane. She’s washing her hair, so I lean against the wall and stare in awe.
“The water feels so good,” she says, noticing my eyes on her. “Want to come in?”
“It’s a damn tempting offer, little dove, but no. I think I’ll stay right here.”
“And leer?” she teases, a rueful smirk curving her lips.
“It’s an amazing view.”
She looks down at her body as suds wash over the deeply carved lines of hunger drawn throughout her frame. “Looks different as of late.”
“You’ll get back to normal soon. Everyone has times when things get a little dark and heavy, Sloane. It’s like Mama said, one day at a time.”
She finishes washing, and I help her back out, toweling her off before I wrap her in it.
She needs help to dress, and then I lead her into the kitchen and help her sit on one of the barstools at the island.
Vaguely, I hear Mama and her talk as I pull all the bedding off the bed and replace it with fresh, tossing the old in the washer while Sloane is up and occupied.
“He always wanted to be in the church,” Mama says as I head back into the kitchen.
“I’m upset that he left the church,” Sloane admits, and my breathing hitches as I stop and stare between them.
“You are?” I ask her.
I thought she would be ecstatic that I’d made this decision, and that I had chosen her over all else.
Sloane sighs. “Don’t get me wrong, it makes me feel so good that you left the church for me, but I never wanted to ruin you.”
Mama tsks from where she’s plating sandwiches for the three of us. “You didn’t ruin him, child. You brought him back to us. He did good while he was in the church. Don’t get me wrong, but I never wanted that life for him. I wanted him to get married and have a good job and life.”
Sloane’s cheeks heat as she looks down at her wringing hands in her lap.
Does she want to be married? Our age gap is significant, but in today’s times, I don’t see the huge deal.
“Here you go. Luca, sit down. Stop hovering like a shadow,” Mama says, handing Sloane her plate and setting mine beside hers.
Mama stands across from us at the island. She’s always been one to eat standing up, even after she made the entire meal.
“I know a good doctor, you know?” Mama says, and Sloane eyes her with a mouth full of food.
“One you can talk to when you’re ready, of course,” Mama adds.
How she talks to Sloane is easy and light, as if none of this is a big deal. Sloane wipes her mouth with a napkin, nodding. Seems that’s what Sloane needs, though.
“Thank you. I’d like that,” she answers, and Mama beams, sneaking a look at me and giving me the kindest nod.
“The man is dead, then?” Mama asks, and my eyes snap to hers in warning.
“He is. I stabbed his dead body. Ruined him, his face, his body,” Sloane admits, fidgeting in her chair.
“Good. I hope he goes to hell looking how you left him,” Mama says, licking mustard off her finger.
“Mama!” I shout, having never heard her curse before.
Sloane giggles beside me. “I seem to recollect far worse coming from your mouth, Luca.”
Mama beams. “Yes, but he’s never heard his mama curse before. Sometimes it’s warranted. Now is one of those times.”
We eat our sandwiches with easy banter between the three of us, and Mama even convinces Sloane to remain in the living room for a movie and ice cream. By the end of the day, Sloane has eaten three times and has rouge back in her cheeks.
Mama now stands at the door, all her grocery bags empty and folded behind her arms, looking at the two of us before her.
“Don’t let age impede this,” she tells us. “And you don’t let him win. You’ve been through so much in your life, and you survived it. You, my dear girl, are a survivor. Don’t forget that. If you need me, I’m here. You’re family now.”
Sloane bounds into my mama’s arms, and I ignore the swirling warmth in my stomach at the sight. I don’t know the future for Sloane and myself, but I love her.
I also know I’ll never stop loving her.
“Mama,” I say, sweeping her into a tight hug. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course. You’re still my baby, you know? Sometimes, you need your mama.”
I smirk, opening the door for her to exit.
When I turn back around and let my back rest against it, Sloane steps into me, hugging around my middle and laying her head on my chest. “Thank you,” she says.
“Anything for you, little dove. Anything.”
She steps on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek, lingering momentarily. I don’t give it much thought or let it go any further. Since I got her back, she’s been a broken shell, and it’s going to take time for her to heal.
But I’ll be beside her once the process ends and hold her hand throughout.