Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
SLOANE
B rynne and Ardesia work together in the kitchen, making pasta and red sauce for the four of us, along with a salad and a side of bread. The house smells delicious as I sip my wine and listen to the music Brynne plays in the living room.
I’m still reeling from the news about Myra, but I’m glad to have all the pieces connected. I’m angry and feel so betrayed by her I can’t bear to think about it for too long because I’ll likely find her and drag her back here for the Grim Reaper of New York tie-up and torture, and I’m not that kind of person.
Something deep down in my marrow wants me to be, though.
I’ve had so many people shit on me in my life that I just want to get back at them for once.
“You alright?” Luca asks, lowering his hand to move my hair over my shoulder as he looks down at me from beside the chair.
I look up into his deep, dark eyes and smile, feeling contentment expand and spread through my chest.
“As good as expected. My best friend tried to sell me to save herself. My entire life has been me trying to survive against all the odds stacked against me. And then she goes and does that? I have half a mind to?—”
He shakes his head, his lips shifting into a thin grimace. “Don’t let vengeance take up in your heart, Sloane. It’ll root itself there like a weed until its putrid vines have infiltrated your soul so deep that it’s all you can think about.”
I bite my cheek. “Is this Father Russo telling me, or…”
“This is the man who loves you telling you,” he says, crouching down and gingerly laying his hand on my knee.
It feels as if it weighs a thousand pounds, though.
“Father Russo is no more,” he adds.
I’m still stuck on his words, and my heart races wildly.
“I know, and I’m still sad about that. I ruined a disciple of the lord,” I mutter, feeling the weight of guilt like a hammer through my chest.
“You didn’t ruin me, Sloane. My purpose shifted. I thought I lived one life when He had other ideas for me. None of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t meant to.”
I smile at the thought, rubbing my thumb over his cheek as I cup his face. “That’s a nice thought.”
He leans into my touch, his answering grin filled with contented satisfaction.
“It’ll be hard to speak to her again, but I know I must. She has to know that I know,” I finally say, breaking our bubble of comfortable silence.
He nods. “It’ll help you move on, and you need to move on. No matter how hard it’s going to be.”
“I love you,” I tell him, nearly whispering, the words heavy with ardent importance.
“I love you, too. More than words or actions could ever express.”
We sit together for what seems like forever, staring into one another’s eyes, drinking in the moment.
“Dinner,” Ardesia says, making me jump.
Luca helps me to my feet and leads me into the dining room, where we have a good time with friends, eating, talking, and laughing as the hours pass and the night drawls on.
When we’re leaving, Ardesia slips something into Luca’s pocket, telling him to look at it when he’s ready, and my curiosity is peaked.
When we’re securely in the car and headed home, Luca digs it out and scoffs.
“What? What is it?” I ask, reaching for the card.
He snags it away from me, rolling his eyes.
There’s a blush on his cheeks that has me determined, though, and I unbuckle and slide over the seat, wrestling him for the card, winning out in the end.
“Fetishlife?” I ask, reading the card with only a website written on its surface.
I eye Luca, and his cheeks only redden further.
“It’s a website that’ll show us where all the local underground clubs and sex parties are.”
I laugh uncontrollably. “Why would Ardesia Ricci hand you this?”
I remember how he’d looked at Luca, too, as if he was handing him the keys to the city.
Luca throws his hands up, nervous energy reaching across the bench seat and prickling across my skin. “Because I stupidly mentioned how I was fucked from the first time I had a dream about you to him…”
I gasp. “The dream about the cross?”
“Yes, that one. I shouldn’t have told him. Now he thinks I’m like them and would like to become an exhibitionist.”
I bite my lip, looking at the card and storing the website in my memory bank for later. Just in case, Luca takes the card and throws it away.
“Well… I mean, there would be crosses?” I ask him nervously.
Now, a blush tinges on my own cheeks as he stops fidgeting and looks over at me.
“Wait… Are you into this? You’d like to…go?” His pupils constrict before blowing wide, and I press my thighs together as the air between us crackles as if there’s a lightning storm brewing between us.
“I am. Though I’d love to be the one on the cross, I think I’d love even more to be the one in control.”
Luca laughs, scrubbing his hand over his face.
“What?” I ask, shoving the card into my purse now that he’s not paying me attention at my admission.
“Nothing. I can see you going all madam on me. You’ve got that kind of energy. When I came to the club—the one you worked at…” He swallows, amusement washing off his face as the air crackles again.
“What?” I whisper, sliding closer to him.
“When I came to the club, I was astounded at how well you commanded a room. With one look and a few flutters of those beautiful hips, you had men ready to crawl to you.”
“And were you one of them, Father Russo?” I ask, edging closer and hovering my face inches from his.
His breathing speeds, his hand inching over my thigh, squeezing and driving me wild. “I was.”
“Mmm,” I graze my lips over his, teasing him, “maybe I’d like to see you crawl for me.”
“Now, little dove, leave me some of my dignity, will you?” he breathes against my lips.
Now, my breathing is erratic, and my hearing is filled with nothing but the pounding beats of my heart like a snare drum.
“Never,” I answer, pressing forward and losing myself in how he responds to my kiss.
We’re broken apart only by the halting of the car at the curb of our building, and I rub my hand over his erection and drink in his response.
“Tell me we can go to one of these places. That you’ll let me have you any way I like,” I plead, pressing my thighs together and feeling my wetness seep into my panties.
“Little dove, you can take me anywhere and use me however you’d like. You know that already without asking,” he answers.
I smirk. “Good boy.”
His eyes go wide as I reach over him and open the door.
“Should I be more worried about how hot that sounded?”
I shrug, motioning for him to get out of the blacked-out SUV Ardesia had sent for us. “I don’t know, should you?”
“I’m much older than you. I don’t think you should praise me that way.”
I roll my eyes. “But in sexual years, Father, I’m much more experienced.”
He steps out, putting his hand out to help me onto the street, and I grab my bag and take it.
“We’ll discuss this excursion further after we’ve talked to Myra, hm? Once all the dust has settled and you feel up to it,” he says, reminding me how I have to talk to Myra and cut ties with her.
I nod, letting him lead me into our building and apartment. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
When we’re in the elevator, he wraps around me and leans down, his lips hovering over my ear tantalizingly. “God, I hope you do.”
I meet Myra with Luca at the Ariston Coffee Bar on 5 th Avenue. It’s a sleek little coffee shop with bright white walls and floors. The mahogany colors of the tables and chairs are offset by pink loungers lining the back wall and faux plants all around the room.
I swirl my iced coffee again, and Luca reaches over and places his hand over mine to steady me.
“It’s going to be alright.”
I nod, not fully believing him.
When Myra sits across from me, it only takes one look at my face to realize why she’s here.
Her fake smile falls, and her eyes go devoid of emotion.
“You know, then?” she asks, monotone.
I search for worry or shame on her features but find none, and anger digs deeper into my soul. I told Luca I’d try to forgive her and move on with my life after telling her today that I’m done with her, but I don’t know how easy that will be, judging by the cunning look twisting her features.
She sits back in her chair, arms crossing over her chest.
“Yes. I know,” I answer, sitting back and mirroring her stance.
“Then why am I here?” she asks.
“Why are you here? Are you fucking kidding me?!” I say it a bit too loud, and Luca reaches under the table and squeezes my knee.
I clear my throat and look around at the eyes I’ve pulled over to our corner table.
“You sold me out to save your ass, Myra? Really? After all I’ve been through in my life, you used me as your fucking pawn? How much truer to your stereotype can you be?”
She gasps, eyes going feral. “Oh, get over yourself and your sob backstory. I did what I had to do to survive, just like you do when you flash your fucking tits to every man in that club every night.”
I no longer work at the club; she wouldn’t know that.
And even so, I enjoyed what I did. It gave me a power I never had when I needed it most. I owed her no explanation. Giovanni offered me my spot when I got in touch with him a little over a week ago, but I politely turned it down, wanting to take my life in a new direction now that it’s changed so much.
“My sob backstory.” I scoff. “I wanted to meet and hear your explanation. I thought you might even be sorry, Myra. I guess you’re not, though.”
She looks away from me, arms still crossed and body rigid. “I am sorry I did what I did, but it was necessary. He would’ve killed me.”
“Mmm, so you decided that your life mattered more than mine? Because he was on track to kill me when the Ricci family stepped in and saved me.”
Her eyes snap to mine. Now I have her full attention. “The Ricci family knows I sold you out?”
I nod, power leaking into my synapses. “Yes, and Ardesia Ricci has agreed to handle you for me if I tell him it’s necessary to.”
“No. Please, I’m sorry, Sloane, I am. I was just stupid, and…”
I roll my eyes and look at Luca, ignoring his face of warning.
“Stay away from me, Myra.” I look back at her, my face stern and my meaning etched into the primal tone of voice I drop into. “You stay away from me, and you stay away from Luca. I never want to see you again, and if I do, mine will be the last face you see.”
She nods, fear making her body quake as she grabs her bag and slides off her stool, racing for the doors to escape.
I don’t look at Luca; I can’t.
I know he’s going to be disappointed in how I just threatened her, but in my gut, I knew it was necessary.
“I don’t want to hear another word about her, please. I’ll never forgive her. I will forgive myself for getting close to her, though,” I say, finally turning to face him.
Pride beams on his features, and I nearly choke on my tears that spring free. “I’m proud of you, little dove. And you don’t need to forgive yourself for letting someone get close. She fucked up. That’s her sin to deal with. Don’t wall yourself off to forging new relationships because of her, or she wins.”
He pulls me into him, and I sob into his shoulder, his warm, spiced scent giving me strength.
“Hey,” he pushes me back, thumbing up my fallen tears. “I found a private event happening tonight on that website Ardesia gave us. If you’re up to it, that is.”
My heart skips a beat, my mood lifting exponentially at the thought. “Really?”
He grins. “Really.”
“I’m so fucking in,” I say, and he laughs, pulling me back into a tight hug.
“Well then, tonight, we’re exhibitionists, little dove.”