53. Connor
53
Connor
I shoved my cards across the table. They stuck to the felt before the dealer picked them up.
“I’m out.” I stood and nodded at the other players.
I should’ve left an hour ago when my luck had suddenly turned. You could know every odd and strategy, but luck still played a huge part in poker. I came up here when Violet hadn’t come down to Eros. I figured she got caught up with Maverick and he’d be pissed if I cock blocked him. But now I was ready to join in.
Members acknowledged me with a smile or head tips as I made my way through Tyche, the illegal gambling club we ran. Ice clinked in glasses. Shouts came from the roulette table. Familiar sounds I should be happy about since we had a packed house, but there was a tickle at the back of my neck, telling me something was wrong.
I’d ignored it through one bad hand after another until I’d lost too much to keep playing. Unlike some of the people here, I knew my limit. Gambling wasn’t an addiction for me; it was a way to make money. And I was damn good at it.
I pushed open the gold plated doors that blended in with the wallpaper. If Eros was dark and seductive; Ares was dim and violent; Tyche was shiny and alluring.
The atmosphere pulled you in. Enticed you to believe anything was possible. That’s why people kept going. Begged us for loans so they didn’t have to stop. And we fed their need. It made us rich. And we didn’t feel bad.
They would always find a way to satisfy their addiction. Their choices were their own. We never forced anyone.
But there was no joy in it tonight. I was missing Violet. And feeling guilty.
I wanted to bring her up to Tyche. Let her see what I’d built. Show her off in a gorgeous dress. But we’d concealed ourselves from her and I was worried time was running out to tell the truth.
I headed down the hidden spiral staircase into my office. It wasn’t the same one guests used. We had private entrances to all our clubs because we often needed to get in and out without being seen. After all, a lot of what we were doing was illegal.
Once I stepped through, the bookcase that hid it slid back into place. I rolled up the sleeves of my dress shirt as I moved towards the hall. The sound of glass shattering drew my attention to Maverick’s office.
What the hell? If he wasn’t with Violet, then I expected him to be at Ares. My heart jumped in my chest. Maybe she was with him and was having a panic attack. It was only a week ago that she’d had her last one.
Glass crunched under my feet as I walked inside. The tequila label held a larger piece together. When I looked up at him, he was standing in front of the little bar in his office, another half empty bottle in his hand. Violet was nowhere in sight.
“Mav? What’s going on?” He was shirtless, covered in blood and sweat, like he’d just come up from Ares. But he swayed on his feet as he lifted his head to look at me.
“It’s over.” He grunted as he brought the bottle to his lips again. My gut clenched as I watched him.
He wasn’t a drinker. He’d lived with too many alcoholics and knew what it did to you. What it could make you do to other people.
I slowly took a step towards him. “What are you talking about? What’s over?”
“Belladonna.” He missed his mouth, pouring the liquor down his face instead. He angrily swiped at his chin. “She went to grow somewhere else.”
My chest constricted with worry. It warred with panic in my veins. But I was sick of his non answers, especially because I had a feeling I knew exactly what he meant.
“Where’s Violet?”
“Aren’t you fucking listening? She left!” The liquid in the bottle sloshed as he gestured towards the bathroom and his private entrance to the fight club. “She found Ares, and she took off.”
The world crashed down around me. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think.
Time had run out. It was too late. Violet knew. She knew who we were now. And she’d abandoned us.
My throat felt tight, as if it refused to swallow the truth. Unable to realize what this meant for me. For all of us.
His fingers wrapped tighter on the bottle as he brought it to his mouth. His casual attitude lit a spark of anger in my blood. I grabbed the glass from his grasp and threw it across the room like the other one. “Did you try to stop her?”
“No.” His jaw clenched as he lunged for me. The air shot from my lungs as he snatched me around the middle. Pain pierced my spine as my back slammed into the wall. “I let her walk out the door with my goddamn heart in her hands. Of course, I fucking tried! But…” The rage in him seemed to disappear. He released me as he slumped to the ground. He was way worse than I thought. “She looked at me like…”
He gripped his skull, staring into the empty space by the bathroom door. It was as if he could still see her standing there. It had been years since I had seen him like this. Not since we created this place. Since we got away from the people who tried to hurt him.
“Like what?” I grasped his shoulder. He tipped his head back to stare at me. His eyes were darker. Haunted by his demons.
“Like everyone else does. As if I were a monster.”
“You know she didn’t mean it, Mav.” I attempted to console him even as my body itched to run. To find her. Make sure she was safe. Make her understand. “Think about everything she’s been through. It must have been hard for her to walk down there and see all those people like that. She was probably just scared.”
His fingers ran over the split in his knuckles that he got from hurting another person. The long dried blood flaked off as he did it over and over. “Maybe she should be.”
“That’s insane.” Shoving his shoulder, I moved away. I didn’t have time to placate his guilt. I had my own to worry about. And our girl to find. “You’d never hurt her.”
My mind raced with all the places she could be. She didn’t know the area. I’d check the community center and have Charlie go to the house. She’d freak out when she saw him, but she’d get over it.
My stomach rolled as I pictured her walking into Ares, seeing the fights. The crowd dense with testosterone and rage. All the things she’d run from.
Maverick popped up next to me, grabbing my elbow as I tried to move towards the door. “Haven’t we already? We lied to her every day!”
My fist curled. I was done with this defeatist attitude. Done with him wallowing in the pity. He could do that later. After we found Violet. After we made sure she was okay.
I raised my arm, ready to punch him, but Reid’s voice stilled the motion. “What’s wrong?”
With a heavy exhale, I lowered my hand. Maverick glared as he shoved me away. “Violet’s gone.”
I summarized the situation for Reid. My body hummed, waiting for him to jump into action. To form a plan.
That was who he was. The older brother. The one in charge.
But instead, he crossed the room and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Picking up where Maverick had left off. The glasses clinked together as he poured some for himself. He seemed indifferent as he took a sip. “I knew she would, eventually.”
The rage inside me turned into an inferno. What the fuck was wrong with my brothers? “That’s all you have to say?”
My teeth ground against each other as he raised a brow at me. In his suit, he looked even more like an arrogant asshole when he did that. “Are you mad that I knew this would happen?”
Maverick moved before I could, taking Reid by surprise. He jerked the drink from his hand. It smashed to the floor, joining the other pieces of shattered glass. “No, I’m pissed because you’re acting like you don’t care.”
It happened in a flash. Reid, usually so calm, pressed a forearm to Maverick’s neck. Pictures on the wall rattled as he shoved him against it. Mav’s smile was manic as he allowed himself to be choked.
“Don’t get angry at me because you fell in love.” Only the rage in Reid’s gaze gave away his fury. His voice was utterly unaffected as he tried to kill Maverick. “And she didn’t want you.”
“Me?” He looked insane as he glared back at him. “Don’t you mean you? This is your fault. You’re the one who told us to lie to her. You’re the one who controlled her. Just like he did.”
“Bullshit!” His restrained snapped. His face turned as red as Maverick’s as he cut off more of his air.
I wanted to defend Reid, but I couldn’t deny the truth. “He’s not wrong. You told her what to eat. How to dress. Who to fuck! Tell me how that’s not controlling her?”
His rage filled glare shot to me, but he didn’t release Maverick. “Because I knew she couldn’t handle it and look what fucking happened.” Abruptly, he let go, stepping back. Maverick’s greedy breaths echoed in the room. “She made her choice.”
Maverick’s chest heaved, but he stayed still. Reid smoothed out the wrinkles in his suit as if nothing had happened. Like we weren’t falling apart without her.
“We didn’t give her a choice by lying.” I fought to instill calm into my voice. But my worry had it coming out harsher than I intended. “We need to go find her before she ends up back with her brothers.”
Reid’s jaw tightened. His eyes flashed with concern before he buried his reaction. Just like he’d tried to hide from her in the beginning. “We couldn’t locate them. I doubt she can.”
Maverick looked at me, and I saw the fear. He was becoming clearer. Realizing what we’d lost. What we had to get back.
He grabbed the lapels of Reid’s suit, forcing him to make eye contact. “But they’ll find her. She’s a loose end.”
I moved to step between them, but he was already letting go. “She doesn’t know what they are.”
I knew my brothers better than anyone. I was nothing without them. But I felt the bonds that held us close splintering. If we didn’t come together on this, I wasn’t sure we could be fixed.
I saw Reid struggling to hide the worry as he glanced down. His voice was laced with the pain that echoed in my chest. “It doesn’t matter. She didn’t want us.”
Without a word, Maverick punched him. Reid went down hard, joining the rest of the liquor bottles on the floor. “It does fucking matter. He’s going to use her again. I won’t let that happen.”
Reid glared up at him. But the fact that he didn’t move told me everything I needed to know. He knew he fucked up. And he was afraid. Afraid he wasn’t enough for her. Afraid to get hurt.
But I didn’t fucking care about his feelings, and neither did Maverick as he shouted at him. “I won’t lose her. And if you let her go, then everyone is right; you are fucking heartless.”
“We share so nothing comes between us. Look how that turned out.” Reid shot back.
I was fucking done. We were wasting time with this bullshit. I stepped up, putting my arms between them. But as I looked at them, I wondered if it was already too late.
Reid was too angry. Maverick too hurt. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to save her this time.
It was becoming obvious that she was the glue that held us together. We were breaking into pieces with her gone.
“Nothing should ever come between us. But she’s not between us… she’s a part of us. And we’ll never be whole again without her.”