28. Annabelle #2
This is a lot. The difference between the haves and have nots is now something I can’t ignore.
I look around my very humble abode, not feeling good enough, not a good mother, not a good farmer, not a good girlfriend.
But I try to take in the joy of seeing my son feeling overwhelmed in a good way, which is something I don’t think has happened much before.
“So, I was thinking, if you want, maybe we can go to a game?” Sawyer adds, sounding tentative.
“Game?” Kevin questions.
“Yeah, go watch the Mets, in the city?”
“City?” Kevin’s head is about to explode, as is my heart, I’m sure of it.
“Yeah, I was thinking that maybe the four of us can go to the city for the weekend soon, catch a game?” Sawyer looks at me, and I swallow, because I’m not sure that can happen.
“I think your mom might need a break from the farm, and in the city, she doesn’t have to get up early, cook, or clean, or anything you all usually do each day. ”
I can’t even comprehend what he’s offering.
Kevin’s gaze is equal parts is this real? and can we go? I give him a small smile.
“Maybe?” I shrug my shoulders. I’m not sure I can make it work, but I don’t want to burst his bubble just as it's starting to grow.
“Ma! He owns the Mets!” Kevin says, scrambling to put on the jersey, now clearly on team Sawyer.
“I heard,” I say as Sawyer grins.
“I got your mom some things too. Here, take a look.” Sawyer passes the kids all the bags before looking at me. I can tell he’s trying to gauge how I’m feeling, but I remain in the kitchen, watching this unravel in front of me, not able to move.
“You didn’t need to…” I shake my head, not sure how to handle all this. Words don’t seem like enough. This is something I can never repay. Something I could never do for my boys, yet it brings them so much joy I can’t say no.
“I know, I wanted to. No takebacks, remember.” He gives me a wink, leaving the boys to dive into the other bags as he walks my way. Once he’s in front of me, his hand cups my jaw, his thumb brushing my cheek.
I bite the inside of my lip, still struggling with what to say. “You’re spoiling them…”
“Good, I want to spoil you too.” He looks at me in wonder, and I give him a small smile.
“Do you have a jersey for me?” I ask in jest, not even thinking he did.
“I do. Got us all matching ones. But… I also have something better.”
My stomach tightens in anticipation. “Oh?”
“I had a business meeting today. I pitched Gertie’s to a large hotel client, asking them to place Gertie’s Soap in all their bathrooms countrywide.”
That’s certainly not what I was expecting.
“Say that again?” I hold my breath, not wanting to get too excited.
“I had a meeting at the distillery with Tanner today, talking to a hotel heiress who’s putting some whiskey in all her hotel bars.
I mentioned Gertie’s to her, suggested it for her bathrooms. She wants me to run the numbers and send her a proposal,” he says slowly, gently pushing my hair behind my ear.
“That sounds like it’s a big deal…” My eyes glass over, my emotions now about to get the better of me. I still don’t feel like this is real.
“It would make your side hustle a full-blown business. It would bring in more money than you know what to do with. It will mean that you can do Gertie’s full-time, do all the things you’ve always wanted. Send the kids to college, live the life you always dreamed of.”
Nerves and hopefulness fight for priority as my mind tries to take this in. “That’s a big offer you’re making to a girl like me, Sawyer.”
“You’re worth it.” He leans forward, brushing his lips over mine. And I kiss him, giving my heart exactly what it wants. While my boys are preoccupied, I kiss him like he’s my lifeline before I pull back and look into his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how I will ever repay you…”
“No repayment needed. I want to do this. It’s a good business decision. Tanner and Victoria are both excited about it, and I knew that this would be amazing for you.”
I swallow, nodding in agreement.
“It’s not over the line, but I’m going to be trying very hard to get it done for you.” He kisses my forehead, and the softness of the way he’s holding me makes me ask the question that I haven’t been able to let go of.
“What is all this?” I’m too scared to really think about what he’s doing for us. I mean, it’s just caps and mitts and jerseys. It’s just work he’s doing for Tanner, which will help Victoria and, by association, me. But it feels like more.
“This is me, still trying to sweep you off your feet… Is it working yet?” He grins, and I huff a small laugh as butterflies flap wildly in my belly.
“You don’t have to spoil us. We’re not expecting anything like that from you. I just like having you in our lives…” I’m honest, hoping he knows that I’m not with him for his money. For any of this.
“I can’t believe it took me so long to find a woman like you.”
I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue.
“I sure as hell miss you when I’m not with you, and I miss you when I’m right near you. You’re all I’m fucking thinking about, and still flying between here and the city is already killing me, knowing I have to leave you again.”
“I miss you too,” I whisper, my boys still emptying the bags in the living room.
“I was thinking… Maybe I can take you out tomorrow night? Friday night dinner at the bar in town.”
“I’d love to, but the boys… I can’t leave them alone. They’re too young.”
“Yeah, well, my brother is arriving tonight, and he’ll need something to do, so I thought he could watch them at my place. Maybe you all sleep over for the night? Have a break from the farm for a bit?”
I think about it. I have so much to do, so much to organize, but a night off sounds so perfect.
“My brother is an asshole most of the time, but I trust him with my life, and I trust him with the boys,” Sawyer reassures me, and I nod.
“Okay… I’d love to go on a date with you, Sawyer.” This will be my first official date. My late husband and I never really did any dates; he didn’t like me leaving the house at all, really.
“You’re perfect, you know that.” He brushes his lips tenderly against mine again. I’m not used to the compliments he gives me, and my heart races at each and every one of them.
“I’m so far from perfect…” I shake my head, but the grin on my face is hard to remove.
“You’re perfect for me. Oh, before I forget…” he says, stepping back a little, his smile widening.
“There’s more?” I grip on to the new dining chair for fear I might topple.
“I bought a few hundred acres off Bob today. Enough for you to double your lavender yield.”
My jaw drops open, heart stuttering, knees weakening. I’m glad I’m holding on to the chair. “You what ?”
“I don’t know anything about soaps, but if you get this deal with the Van Cleefs, then you’ll need to double your raw materials to keep up with demand.”
“But… what if the deal falls through?” My heart pounds in my ears, my head filled with so many questions.
“Then we’ll just be ready for the next one.” His smirk of arrogance is now in place, his belief in me and Gertie’s almost too much to digest.
“Ma! Look! A new drink bottle!” Kevin hollers from the living room, and I look back around and see my small space now covered in Mets merchandise, my two boys dressed in caps and jerseys, throwing balls around.
Sawyer walks back over to them, helping them take all the tags off everything, and I pinch myself to ensure this is all real.
Looking out the window, darkness now falls, and as positive as I want to stay, I know that after the good, usually comes the bad.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for what’s coming next.